Monday, November 23, 2009

Paracinema Runs Red!

The holidays are getting uncomfortably close and the dread of having to do shit like shop for Christmas and deal with annoying crowds is just around the corner. Though I am a huge fan of Christmas and all of its commercialized glory, first we have to get through Thanksgiving, which is fine with me. You could blend turkey, taters, stuffing, biscuits, gravy, and a Lion's loss and I would drink that shit with a straw. So good.

While I brainstorm ideas for what I will post about during the holiday season in this over saturated blogosphere, I have a few reviews coming your way - starting with one for the 2009 Slasher film, The Hills Run Red posted over at Paracinema...The Blog. So head over there and check it out, pretty please!


  1. Man, now I do have to worry about the holiday blogging glut of December. A gal can only rave about the amazingness of Silent NIght Deadly Night 2 so many times before it becomes trite.

  2. Will do!

    You know you gotta attack a Christmas theme horror flick. Hey... have they ever put out a Thanksgiving one? I should propose one to Christine to see if she's up for it. We'll call it "Glutton" and do it up independent style.

  3. Emily: Exactly! It's tough to come up with anything that no one else will be doing, but at the same time, it's kinda fun trying to think of something.

    I did think about covering shitty Christmas dramas/comedies from channels like Lifetime. In all honesty, I love movies like that, bad and all, but I think my readership would plummet real quick!

    Ashlee: Ha ha...I better see Glutton on Amazon next Thanksgiving!

    You must be psychic girl! I wrote a post last night about the very few Thanksgiving horror films that are out look for that in the coming hours.

    I will of course cover a few Christmas themed horror films, along with a couple of movies with winter settings. The question is, what ones???

  4. I hate bad Xmas movies, but I would love to hear your take on them anyway.

    The only xmas movie I watched so far this year was Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, which you should totally check out. Other than that, I too am trying to find a worthwhile angle to attack December with. If only there were more Hannakah horror...

  5. Now Hanukkah is an angle that needs to be exploited...8 days of killing in 8 different ways? Fantastic!

    I never did see Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, but I remember it was supposed to come out way back in the day and never did until more recently I think.

  6. Oh Matt, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys is awful in ways that make ThanksKilling look like art. Corey Feldman stars and does this weird grown-up voice that just never sounds right, while Vanessa Angel rotates using and not using an accent. It's on Instant Watch and naturally, I kind of loved it.

    8 oh man. Menorah impaling. Playing dreidel with a human head. Something involving potato pancakes...we seriously need to see/make this movie.

  7. Ha ha! Corey Feldman doing his grown-up voice!It's the same voice he has had since Lost Boys!

    I am so down for doing this Hanukkah movie, we could come up with something special...get Miles involved and have GGTMC produce it! It could be called, The Hanukkah Horror, or, HanukKill!

  8. A young man (Miles) who never gave any thought to his Jewish mother's heritage starts to notice people dying around him in all sorts of Hanakarrific ways. Does it have anything to do with his impending engagement to a rabbi's daughter prophecized in the Torah to bear the next messiah?

    Better yet: a small town mayor decides to finally throw away the politically correct guidelines of including a menorah in the town square display, thereby angering the vengeful spirit of Hanakkuh (which is constantly misspelled in the film) Hershowitz, the demon no rabbi will dare speak of. It's up to the synagogue's most radical rabbi (played by Miles) to try some new Hebrew moves and save the soul of his community, one candle at a time.

  9. Oh my god...amazing! I can already see the human menorah with candles in every orifice and all the music could be done by Matisyahu! He could do a cover of Fu Schnickens "True Fuschnick" and change it to "True JEWshcnick!"

  10. Chuck Norris Ate My Doll's House's premiere feature: Hanukillah'

    The sequel? Hanukillah' 2: Not Without My Yamaka

  11. That is a great sounding production company name if I ever heard one!

    If you did the modern Blacksploitation version, much like Vampiyaz, it could be called, HanuKillaz!


Most Popular Posts

Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is in no way endorsed by or affiliated with Chuck Norris the Actor.