Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Horror Hangover

This Hangover is dedicated to my boy Tee, who celebrated his birfday last night, so I know he is soo hurtin' today. Happy birthday, puta!

Well hello there...I see you are incredibly hungover this afternoon. How can I tell? Well, your underwear is on backwards and it's not even your underwear to begin with. Plus, you smell like you were raped by Spuds McKenzie. Maybe that would explain the underwear thing. I'm not here to judge you, but instead, I'm here to guide you through your day of pain and dehydration. How can I do that you ask? By providing you with something to watch while you try to figure out how to not puke up the Denny's from the night before. This lineup is mad tight, by the way.

Starting off incredibly strong, AMC is showing Aliens (1986) at 10:00 AM. Do I really need to talk about Aliens?! It's fucking Aliens...'nuff said.

At 11:30 AM Pathfinder (2007) is on FX. I wanted to love this movie so bad, but I was kind of bored by it, maybe? I rented it from Netflix and I am pretty sure I didn't even make it all the way through. Such a promising movie and it looks great from the trailer, so maybe I need to try and give this one another whirl...lowered expectations and all. This could be my default pick of the week based on that criteria.

At 12:30 The Changeling (1980) is on IFC. In all honesty, I have never seen this movie and outside of George C. Scott, I know very little about it either. Should I feel shamed? I guess I should renege on my earlier pick of the day for Pathfinder and make it for The Changeling instead. After seeing this trailer, it isn't that hard of a decision anyways.

AMC skips an Alien and gives us Alien Resurrection (1997) at 1:00 PM. I haven't seen the fourth Alien in a long time, but I remember thinking it was a solid entry in the series. I have the box set, so I would rather watch it again that way so I can get through some of the extras that are included.

The Goonies (1985) is on TBS at 1:30. If you are in my age range, you can watch The Goonies every time it's on TV. Love The Goonies.

2:30 gives us Havoc (2005) on IFC. I have seen this movie a few times and I like it quite a bit. It's about two promiscuous honky girls that get in over their head, when they start hooking up with Latino gang bangers. It has a solid cast with Anne Hathaway, Bijou Phillips, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and a pre-Planet Terror Freddy Rodríguez and Michael Biehn. Watch this film if you want to see at least three of these actors naked!

Rounding out the afternoon, at 3:30 Mad Max (1979) is on AMC. The best of the trilogy, well, it's not hard to be better than Thunderdome, but that's besides the point. Mad Max is awesome and one hell of a way to end the hangover today.

Hope you're feeling a little better by this point, but if not, at least you had some good shit to choose from. Now go wash you dirty self up for crying out loud!


  1. I remember liking Alien: Resurrection the first time around too because of the different alien monsters and just the overall visual style, but it didn't hold up at all when I recently re-watched it.

    And Havoc is fucking awful, dude. However it doesn't change the fact that I actually own it. Anne Hathaway's naked in it and I found the DVD for cheap! Gimme a break. And don't forget that the dipshit who plays Duke in the new GI Joe movie has a very small role in Havoc also. I don't remember the dude's name.

  2. Sounds like an awesome day of recuperation - What would excite me most about this line up (had I actually a zipcode and dwelling place on your side of the pond) would be the prospect of watching Aliens at 10am in the morning. Why I have never done this before is not immediately obvious to me - it now seems like the most natural thing in the world. As soon as I sober up I may attempt to locate my copy...
    Thanks for helping enhance my hangover experience, Matt!

  3. I haven't seen the Changeling either but its high up in my NetFlix queue. Let me know how it is.

    And Havoc was good for some Anne Hathaway boobage, she actually looks decent in it. But there is a rape scene that is kinda icky.

  4. The Changeling is fantastic! George C Scott will always be the man. You better watch it.

    Also Goonies was on last night and I watched it, and I'll be watching today as well. Your theory still stands.

  5. That picture = awesome. The list should only read THE CHANGELING for anyone that hasnt seen it

  6. Aaron: I have a feeling that Resurrection won't hold up for me either, but we'll see...

    I can't help but like Havoc, it's kind of bad, but it's about teens, so of course the characters will be very lame most of the time in movies like this. Something about the movie sucks you probably has something to do with Hathaway and Phillips being naked a whole lot too!

    James: No problem, James! I actually watched Aliens shortly after I woke up and it is a fun movie to watch after just getting up! Not easy to fall back asleep when all that crazy action is going on...and Bill Paxton freaking out!

    POT: I think I enjoy the movie because it does go to some very dark places and there are some incredibly uncomfortable scenes, namely the rape scene with the two dudes.

    After I saw Havoc, I thought Hathaway was kinda hot for a little bit, then every time I saw her in something else, she looked like Skeletor with a cool-aid smile! I prefer Bijou Phillips.

    Andre: The Goonies = so fun! I can watch it every single time!

    Andre and Carl: With both of your recommendations, I will have to seek out The Changeling on DVD. Probably just rent it through Netflix, or something or pick up a copy if the price is right. The trailer is awesome too, so it isn't hard to convince me to check it out!

  7. Hmmmm, Havoc has one hell of a cast. I'll keep it in mind.

    I settled for FearNet and watched Dolly Dearest. Demon possessed dolls, ancient ruins, Rip Torn, and a little blond girl spewing evil speak is always a recipe for enjoyable camp with that not yet 90's feel.

    And yes, it will always be fucking Aliens.

  8. You might enjoy Havoc, Ashlee...there is enough good things about it to weigh out the bad.

    If you had any idea how much I miss having On Demand and FearNet...I would love to watch Dolly Dearest again. Love the VHS art!

  9. The Changeling is easily one of the best classic ghost stories I have ever seen. It's amazing! I don't know why it doesn't get more love from horror fans. Seriously, give it a try.

  10. I'm definitely gonna, Wintu. I checked on Netflix and incidentally, it is at the 43 spot already, which isn't bad considering the gross size on my queue. I didn't even know it was there! Thanks for stopping by!


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