Wednesday, November 11, 2009

CNAMB Presents: Monster of the Week!

It isn't easy following up the first Monster of the Week when your monster is friggin' Swamp Thing, but it must be done and a great way to go about picking a sophomore monster would be to pick one of the plural variety. A monster that is not just relegated to one creature, but many creatures that work together as one and can unify to fight for the greater cause. To eat yo ass.

This weeks Monster(s) of the Week is (are)...

The Krites!

Krite, is of course the proper term used in referring to the creatures from Stephen Herek's 1986 film, Critters and its subsequent sequels. "Critters," which is actually a racist term in the Krite community, are an often-large group of individual space creatures with a multitude of abilities. Krites can roll up into a tight ball and travel at quick speeds to keep up with their prey, they can shoot porcupine like needles at any unsuspecting victim, rendering them nearly useless - and what would a Krite be without its giant, over sized mouth, filled with a mean set of razor sharp teeth? A Furby. Maybe the biggest asset that the Krite's have is the ability to form like Voltron and become a giant ball of Krite, which rolls around and chomps everything in its path. It also proves that saving the environment, via carpooling, isn't limited to just humans anymore.

The Krites have appeared in four films to date and while they could be looked at as a cash in on other films from the time period that Critters came out, i.e. Gremlins, that first film is a solid B monster movie in the vein of Joe Dante's Piranha. If any franchise were do for a revival, it is Critters and the Krites would be more than welcomed back and are very deserving of my pick for Monster of the Week.


  1. Oh my goodness! I had NO IDEA the C-word was offensive to Critt--I mean, Krites. I feel like such a horrible person, especially since I've seen C-2 more times than I'm proud to admit.

    Am I correct in believing this series, at one point, featured both a pre-Titanic DiCaprio AND Billy Zane? I sometimes confuse my, um, Krites with Munchies.

    Crap. Did I just offend another species?

  2. You would be correct in remembering both Leo (so dreamy...) and Zane appearing in Critters films. Which ones? I can't remember, though I think Leo was in the third one.

    I too have seen the second Critters film a shit load of times and the one thing I (sadly) remember about it is that the girl Krite hunter showed her boobs at one point! I was young, what'd ya expect!

  3. Excellent choice to follow up Swamp Thing. I would've suggested Man-Thing, but hey that's just me I guess.

  4. Zane played the barnyard boyfriend in Part 1. Wonder if Kate Winslet slipped in there at any point?

  5. I love them! And I love Swamp Thing (he is dreamy). You are 2 for 2.

  6. Holy moses, how did I forget Billy motherfuckin' Zane! Leo of course, but my beloved Billy! And not that Titanic shit, I'm talking demon from hell Tales From The Crypt Zane. Fangirl craze aside, B monster movies make for the perfect Saturday afternoon.

    Critters is at the top of that list. Even though they're ugly as sin and even more annoying that Gremlins but surpasses in aggression next to Ghoulies.

    Great pick.

  7. Aaron: I actually thought about Man-Thing for a second, but he is a little too similar to Swampy. And his "SyFy" movie kinda sucked! Great character in need of a great movie.

    Emily: He is?! Wow...I have seen Critters so many times and I never realized it was Zane. I haven't watched it in years, but still, I have been a big Zane fan for a long time. And Winslet played one of the Krites I believe!

    Christine: Thanks, Christine! Swamp Thing is dreamy and can get any girl all wet...literally!

    Ashlee: I love Zane in Demon Knight! By far his best performance, outside of playing himself in Zoolander, of course!

    Critters are just under Gremlins in awesomeness both character and movie wise, but I think Gremlins is the best, so that means Critters is pretty high up there. And Ghoulies...definitely lower tier monsters!

  8. That Kate Winslet is such a chameleon. I hear she also played Terrance Mann.

    And I totally second (or third) the Billy Zane love. It's a shame he never got a full chance to capitalize on his awesomeness in Demon Knight, but at least we have photos of him in purple spandex.

  9. How awesome are the Krites?? Nothing is funnier than when they are attacking the front door, the one gets blasted, and the other spouts out "FUCK!" (in Krite). I see 1:1 replicas pop up all the time on eBay but they are waaay outa my price range. CRITTERS = 80s Gold.

  10. I would love a replica Krite...and I'm sure they are way outta my price range too! With all of those McFarland and Mezco toy companies making horror figures, you would think someone would put one out with the Krites someday.


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