Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Horror Hangover

Hey Baby Eaters! After the wild Saturday night you had, I hope your not hurtin' too much this afternoon. But, if you are...then we have a pretty decent lineup of films to help you get through your hangover.

Starting things off at 10:30 AM The Fan (1996) is on FX. Solid Tony Scott directed thriller that I enjoy enough. Great cast with De Niro, Wesley Snipes, and a younger Benicio Del Toro, The Fan should make for a good watch to start off your hangover.

In the mood for impending Armageddon? At 11:00 AM SyFy has Asteroid (1997) with the conclusion at 1:00 PM. That's four fucking hours of doom! Originally an NBC TV movie, Asteroid actually won an Emmy, but more importantly, it stars Michael Biehn! The Emmy was actually for FX work, so it doesn't really count, but Biehn does! If this TV ad doesn't make you want to see this four hours of funk, then nothing will!

1:00 PM gives me real bad gas when Van Helsing (2004) craps all over FX. You may as well go back to watching Asteriod...did you hear? It won an Emmy!

At 2:30 PM, Turner Classic is showing Capricorn One (1978). I have never seen, nor even heard of this film before, so it gets my default pick of the week. It's directed by Peter Hyams, who is an okay filmmaker, but it's the cast that is the big draw with this one: Elliott Gould, James Brolin, Telly Savalas, Karen Black, Hal Holbrook, and OJ Simpson before he killed motha fuckas! It has an awesome concept too...

Speaking of wicked casts, at 3:30 The Poseidon Adventure (1972) is on Fox Movie Channel. A classic disaster movie with a brilliant cast bigger than the asteroid from Asteroid, but I bet The Poseidon Adventure never won no Emmy. Take that Poseidon Adventure!

Getting close to dinner time, 4:00 PM brings us Underworld: Evolution (2006) on FX. The Underworld movies are okay I guess. Not the worst films ever, but certainly nothing to really get excited over outside of the mega hot Kate Beckinsale and the other hot Vampire chicks sprinkled throughout. Though, non of them are as sexy as Michael Biehn, but luckily for Underworld: Evolution, Asteroid is finished destroying my heart with love for the day.

Last but not least, at 4:15 PM The Blob (1958) is on Turner Classic Movies. While I am more a fan of the '88 remake, I always loved the original The Blob, though I probably haven't watched it since around 1988. Still, not a bad way to end the hangover if I do say so myself!

That's all she wrote...Later skaters!


  1. Sounds like the perfect lineup for a horror hangover!

    The Fan is good shit. Who wouldn't want Robert De Niro stalking them, though? I mean really. Could be worse.

    Asteroid won an Emmy.

    Van Helsing can suck my balls.

    Never heard of Capricorn One either, and with a cast like that I almost feel ashamed of myself.

    The Poseidon Adventure is fantastic. It used to come on TV late at night all the time when I was a kid and I stayed up and watched it a couple of times.

    I've still never seen Underworld: Evolution all the way through yet and I've owned it for a long ass time now. I did see it on FX while channel surfing though, but didn't really pay any attention to it. It seems like a flick I would have on in the background and only watch when Kate Beckinsale was on.

    I haven't seen any of THE BLOBs in years. The last one I saw was the 88 version and I don't remember if I liked it or not. I think I did.

  2. Damn! Woke up too late and just saw The Fan is halfway through. I've always wanted to see this film because 1) it's a thriller about baseball and 2) Robert DiNero plays an obsessed fan and 3) Del Toro sports red hair. Curse me and my horror hangover! Although in fairness, sleeping in was worth it with it since I stayed up late for the original TCM with commentary and Fear of Clowns.

  3. Aaron: You're so right about Underworld, the only time it's really worth watching is when Beckinsale is on screen!

    You would probably like The Blob '88...very solid horror movie with a sliver of 80's horror cheese. One of the better remakes that has been made, but the original is still great too.

    Still, neither of these won an Emmy, so the fail in comparison to Asteroid!

    Emily: Fear of Clowns? I just looked it up, more like fear of jacked clowns! Looks fantastic!

    You would like The Fan based off your reasons for wanting to see it. You can't go wrong with a crazy, stalker type De Niro, and Del Toro looks like a ballplayer from the Dominican!

    Still, Asteroid is just getting into the second part...don't miss out on the television event of the decade!

  4. Firstly, I double dutch double Matt's recommendation for The Blob '88. It's one of my favorite films of the '80s.

    Ohhhhh Fear of Clowns. I should be putting my review up later this week. Yes, the villainous clown has a pretty bitchin' pair of tough tits. And yes, it's amazingly bad.

    You know what? The Fan is going on my queue.

  5. Nothing scarier than a clown on the juice! Can't wait to read what you have to say about you can watch the sequel, which I'm sure is filled with class and tough tits galore!

  6. Ugh, Capricorn One. Now that's not an ugh of disgust. In fact it's probably second only to The Blob for best film on today. The "ugh" is because I've seen it one too many times. My wife, who is usually a lovely and sane individual, buys into the "we never went to the moon" conspiracy, and it makes me sad. She's made me watch this movie several times and always points out how realistic is is and how it could have happened. I just smile and nod. After all, it is realistic that someone could make a movie about how we didn't go to the moon.

    Still I give the film a recommend unless you live with a crazy wingnut. Now excuse while I go watch some Most Haunted to see if they catch any ghosts.

  7. I should've recorded Capricorn One today - I haven't seen that in years! Definitely one of the best of the paranoid thrillers of the '70s. I'll have to poke around and see if TCM is showing it again.

    Another great HH, Matt - and that pic at the top is classic! You just can't beat a passed out drunken cat!

  8. I want SyFy to reply Wolfsbayne, James said it was pretty decent so I will be watching the Hangover closely the next couple of weeks =D

  9. Bugg: Ha ha...are you married to Jesse Ventura?! If so, then that is kinda bad ass! I believe in some shit like UFOs and ghosts, shit like that, but it really ends there.

    I am gonna have to seek out Capricorn One though, wish I could've watched it while it was on TV, but I had to work, unfortunately. Thanks for stopping by!

    Jeff: Every time I come to this post, I can't help but say "awwww" because nothing is cuter than a drunken cat, passed out!

    And another vote for Cap One! The cast is what made me look further into the movie, then I saw what it was about and I knew it would be a good addition to the line-up and something that I should check out.

    Carl: I'll keep my eye open for it the one with Reggie Bannister and Linnea "hot tits" Quigley? If so, the name and cast alone has me sold!


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