Google+

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Blastfighter

Lamberto Bava's Blastfighter is a film I half expected to be a Sci Fi movie based off the title Blastfighter, but this 1984 Lamberto Bava film is as far from a Science Fiction film as you can possibly get. It shouldn't be much of a surprise that the movie would come off as a film of that genre as it was originally planned to be a Sci Fi action flick, but budgets and the usual jazz kept all of that from happening.

The main character in Blastfighter is Jake "Tiger" Sharp (Michael Sopkiw), an ex-cop who was convicted and served 7 years in prison for killing the man that murdered his wife. Jake is a complex man, filled with all the attributes to contend for the heart of any woman, or any man for that matter.

He is a man that is not only strong...

...he is a deep thinker with a golden mane like a lion (or a tiger I suppose)

He can be deer friend...

...while having the ability to show his sensitive side without fear of the trees judging him

But if you cross him, he will fuck your sweaty ass up. Period.

Blastfighter is set entirely in the woods...yet a good portion of the music sounds like something you would hear at a generic lazer (I'll be spelling laser with a Z for added edge) light show…meaning, it's awesome. There is some other great music in Blastfighter and it comes in the form of the pretty country song, Evening Star by Tommie Baby (I could only find the Bee Gees version...mah bad.). Nothing quite says kick ass Italian action movie like a little good ol' country music!

These woods are the perfect setting for "Jake" to chill out at since all he really wants in life is to be left alone. Only issue is the local yahoos seem to enjoy giving Jake a hard time because he doesn't agree with their inhumane hunting tactics. All of these jerk-off hicks that are messing around with Jake, just so happen to work for an old friend from Jake's past...

That man is non other than, George Eastman, who plays a character named...Tom?

Seriously...Tom? Not Brawny, or Bull Mastiff, or even Battle Axe? A man of this stature deserves a tougher name, that's for sure.

With a beard that could make love all by itself, "Tom" is not just any mere mortal...he is a man that can rock an impressive yellow and black flannel and still look intimidating.

This is a guy that need not require simplistic transportation like cars or bicycles, he is a man that can only roll one way and that is in a helicopter. A helicopter that is orange, yellow, and brown. Those are great colors for the Fall, by the way and they do go very well with his lumberjack attire, showing his keen Caldor fashion sensibilities.

Jake unwillingly makes acquaintance with Connie (Valerie Blake), who we quickly learn is more than just some bangin' broad, but someone important that has come from Jake's past. Together, Jake and Connie have a few run-ins with the dirtball country bumpkins and what results is a game of survival for the two characters, that would eventually takes a deadly turn.

Jake is forced to go back to a past he never wanted to again...he must become Jake "Tiger" Sharp if he wants to protect Connie and himself. One thing I didn't mention about Blastfighter is the weapon that would be the titular draw of the film, but it is only briefly introduced in the opening of the film and doesn't show up again until 1 hour and 16 minutes into the movie!

But when this wicked weapon is finally unleashed, oh boy is it time to bring the pain! Fed up with being pushed around, "Tiger" is ready to show these hillbilly hoes what he is capable of with his Blastfighter gun!
Now, this is a badass gun, it shoots bullets, grenades, smoke bombs, shit, I think it may even fire a Peter North load this thing is so versatile and manly. Don't believe me?

Check out these results...

Can't get that damage out of any old gun, now can you?

Hope you brought some marshmallows...bitch.

In the end, Blastfighter is a Rambo ripoff, but a good one and even though there is no use of the sick firearm that Jake is given at the beginning of the film, there is plenty of action to hold you over until the inevitable explosive finally. Plus, you can't go wrong with an airborne Eastman in flannel and Sopkiw with his gorgeous wavy hair and intense mustache.

15 comments:

  1. the first thing i did after reading this review was scratch my balls

    the second was do a google image search for peter north despite knowing exactly what he looks like

    i'm so confused

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want to see this more than I want to see some, like, really nice bewbs. Nicely done, Matt.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Loaf: It's HARD getting his greasy creases out of your head, but I think he is worth a look once in a while.

    And don't be confused...just accept it.

    Miles: Thanks! I find that many movies I watch have taken a back seat to boobs, it's about time the boobs took the back seat. In my van.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I did a review of DEMONS recently and said that DEMONS and BLADE IN THE DARK were Lamberto Bava's only great films--I completely forgot about LASERBLAST, in fact I forgot that Bava even directed it. To be fair, it's not a very Lamberto Bava-ish movie...because, well y'know, its good. LASERBLAST is indeed a great flick and Michael Sopkiw is a bad ass.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The deer shot (and your comment) made my morning, so thank you deer friend.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi,

    Blastfighter was originally to be a Lucio Fulci film. Fucli instead concentrated on his own project of the time. I believe he worked on New Gladiators instead of Blastfighter.

    Now imagine how different Blastfighter could have been had fulci helmed it- probably would have had Al Cliver in the the lead for a start. And I am sure he would have kept the sci fi theme. Though when you consider how awful New Gladiators turned out I for one am glad that it was Bava jr that made Blastfighter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't think Blastfighter would have been nearly as enjoyable if Fulci had directed it. By this time, Fulci had completely lost his mind. I imagine if he did direct, we would have received 90 minute of Tige running though the woods and shooting rednecks in as gruesome a manner as possible. Plus the indecipherable plot would most likely have been left up to audience interpretation.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love all of these comments! Thanks to all of you for stopping by and leaving your opinions!

    Rev: It is definitely one of his best films and way different than most of his other work. I actually do enjoy Delirium too...light on kills, but the kills are so weird that it makes the movie fun. Plus, Serena Grandi's chest is very prevalent, which possibly could sway my opinion a bit!

    Emily: Anytime! Sopkiw driving around with a deer in his car while country music is playing is one of the more amazing things I have ever witnessed on screen!

    Nigel: I did read about Fulci being attached to direct at one point and I have seen New Gladiators, so I completely agree with you. I was mini Bava had made more films as good and fun as this one.

    Braankraayon: It really speaks volumes about later Fulci being a nutcase and really losing his stuff when most would agree that Blastfighter was in better hands with Lamberto Bava! It would have had a more dreamlike quality, I would gather if Fulci had directed it...meaning, it would make absolutely no sense!

    ReplyDelete
  9. In defence of late fulci guys-
    devils honey was okay. and I know I should hate touch of death but that is one mean film- mysoginsit to the core but its one of the rawest films ive ever seen. Im probably alone on loving demonia (though I believe the rev has a soft spot for this one too)
    and fulci did end al clivers career with a harpoon fired from a topless nun- I mean how cool is that, couldn't imagine Sergio Leone doing that

    ReplyDelete
  10. I never saw Devil's Honey, but I think Demonia is fun in a bad kind of way.

    There is a lot of awesome gore and the crazy cat attack alone is enough to keep me interested!

    ReplyDelete
  11. 1. A wild deer ate out of my hand once. It didn't look nearly as cool as that screenshot above.

    2. My hair looks like Jonah Hill's. This year, I'm asking Santa for a mane like that.

    3. Here's my question for the filmmakers: If you already have the prop SuperGun built, why not use it throughout? Especially if it's on the poster.

    Great post.

    El Gringo
    He-Shot-Cyrus.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks, El Gringo!

    The weapon is so underused, but it is definitely meant to be busted out when Tiger has been pushed too far! It takes a lot to ruffle that golden mane!

    Also, chances are, if you achieve a mane as gorgeous as Sopkiw's, you too will command the same type of deer love some day! Thanks for dropping by!

    ReplyDelete
  13. "an airborne Eastman in flannel"...wow!
    an awesome review of a cool ripoff film

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks, Alex! I did this review when I first learned how to do screen grabs and it fit perfectly. Eastman in flannel is no joke!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Scenic locations and great action really make this Italian entry into the Hicksploitation genre stand out. It's somewhat reminiscent of Rambo: First Blood, but I actually like it better than that movie. Micheal Sopkiw really shows his talent as a versatile action star here. See it along with After the fall of New York and Massacre in Dinosaur Valley to really get a sense of Sopkiw's talents.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is in no way endorsed by or affiliated with Chuck Norris the Actor.