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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

CNAMB Presents: Holiday Monster of the Week!

Christmas is just a few days away now and with that joyous occasion comes our final Holiday Monster of the Week. If there is one thing that can ruin your holiday festivities, it's knowing that there is always a threat lurking the snowy streets just outside your door. What's worse is the fact that you may never know exactly when you may run into this menace - it could be at anytime, at anywhere and the end result will never be very good for you.

This week's Holiday Monster of the Week is...

Scut Farkus!

Scut Farkus graced our lives in Bob Clark's 1983 holiday classic, A Christmas Story, which was based off the short stories and anecdotes of author Jean Shepherd. However, the character of Scut Farkus (Played by Zack Ward) was actually written specifically for the film, so the credit for this Monster could go to either Clark himself, or Leigh Brown who also partook in the films writing.

First off, when you spell the name Scott, Scut, you know you are dealing with a serious monster of grotesque proportions. The name Scut alone just sounds awful and seems like it would be a great description for a phlegmy open wound, or a skanky slut perhaps. Everything about him drips bad and just by looking at him, you know his path is not one that you should ever cross. He tucks his super blue jeans into his boots, wears fingerless gloves, he rocks a Davy Crockett cap and out from under that hideous dome piece he'll stare you down with his yellow eyes. He has yellow eyes! So, help me, God! Yellow eyes! I would liken "Scut" to road construction, something that while on your way to and from work or school, can cause quite the inconvenience, except this inconvenience can and probably will result in a bloody nose, or the repeated use of the word uncle.

8 comments:

  1. Perfect choice for HMOTW, Matt! I agree that Scut Farkus is truly a monster to be recokoned with. Too bad they never made A Christmas Story II: Scut's Revenge!

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  2. Scut scared the crap out of me when I was a kid because he was the cinematic incarnation of every kid who ever picked on me (there were a lot since I was the smallest kid at school). Fuck you Farkus!

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  3. I've watched the film every year since the early 80's and I'm only now realizing his named was spelled S-C-U-T. That's awesome! Scut's ass beating at the hands of Ralphie is one of my favorite movie moments of all time.

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  4. Jeff: Thanks, Jeff! He sure is a mean mofo if I ever saw one and I guess there was a sequel to A Christmas Story, but I think it never did anything because Scut wasn't in it!

    POT: Ha ha...he is the celluloid incarnation of every school bully for all of us I think. I bet he's a chump now!

    Rev: I too have watched it every year religiously and I didn't know it was Scut till I did this post! I had to triple check just to make sure that was how it was spelled - it is very fitting though!

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  5. One of the most vile and hated villains of all time. He is a chump too, look at his filmography, he has since become Uwe Boll's bitch.

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  6. Yeah, he's a jerk off and If there's one dude that could push around that infamous bully, it's Uwe Boll.

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  7. Not to mention Freddy Krueger's victim. Just goes to show you how those mean kids on the playground are only tough for so long. It's so vindicating for the childhood outcasts.

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  8. Well sir, i think you can offically retine this feature now. There is no other monster that can quite beat this beast.
    But when Ralphie finally snaps and let's at him-- 'twas a joy to watch as a kid.

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