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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Yeee Haw!!

When pitted against numerous foes while out on the streets with my fellow gang buddies, I try to pick the seemingly easiest person to take down. When I run into an Asian girl and a Black guy in a wheelchair, the answer is made for me instantly. I mean, more than likely, the Asian girl knows karate, plus she’s wearing all black, not a good sign either. And the black guy in a wheelchair…well, he's a guy in a wheelchair. I can take this fucker! The only real advantage he may have is, he is right at ball height, but with balls as tiny as mine, he would more than likely miss if he were to strike at them.

As the Asian female comes rollin' up, it is clear that I made the right decision. This bombshell is bashing my banger boys left and right with spin kicks and super queefs, and I think I even saw her fling a tampon at one of my boy’s temples. I'm gonna look like the man when I tip this dude in the wheelchair right over and onto the ground. He'll be all stuck on his back like a beetle, flailing his arms and legs…err flailing his arms as he attempts to get back up and into his comfortable seat. "I have no legs!" More like you have no excuse anymore son, we is gonna throw down!



Oh great, I'm getting my ass kicked by a dude in a wheelchair. He's so quick and his arm reach is so long! And how the hell does he scamper around like that without any stems to support him? And I can't help but wonder - does he have a dick?! So distracting! Figures I would pick a fourth degree Kendo master to brawl with. I'm so going to look like such a wuss when my boys look over here and see me being tossed around by a dude with no legs. I can hear it now "What, did he run over your foot with one of his wheels?" "Who's gonna kick your ass next, Ray Charles?! Bwahahaa!" Handicapped my ass.

Man, this isn’t my day, thanks a lot, Henry Smalls. Unlike Biggie, you are not the illest.

4 comments:

  1. 1. Was that reference to Kid's that I read? If so, bravo. 2. I will definitely need to check out Code of the Dragon. Bonzai!

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  2. Yes, it was a Kids reference and thanks! I was wondering if anyone would get it or not. It is also known as 'The Ghost' if you do seek it out. That dude should be in every action movie ever made!

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  3. So was that German they're speaking or what? Everything about this makes me feel like I need more sleep, because this can't possibly be real...

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  4. I'm not sure, could be German. Just adds to the awesomeness of this clip though...I would almost rather watch the movie in German for some strangely entertaining reason! I love the very American "Yee Haw!" mixed in with whatever language it is!

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