Friday, August 28, 2009

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Low-Carb Edition!

Sup playas, and playarettes!! You must be new to this club, so let me give you the tour. Right there - that's where you can dance, right over there - that's another place you can dance, and over here, on my lap - well, take a guess. What'd you expect; this is Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party after all!! HOLLA!! You guys carrying anything? No?! Well, here, take these pills, they're on the house. We wanna make sure everyone has a good time!! If you start to feel a little dizzy, let me know, you can lay down in the bed up in my private suite, while I play with your sweet privates! YEAH BOYEE! Now, I hope you guys brought your D-game with you…what's D-game you ask? Well, that's your Dance Game, cause tonight, dj Skele-tone has the fattest tracks on the block! And when I say fat, I mean F-A-T, because finally, Skele-tone has brought with him - his copy of Are you ready for Freddy? as done by the infamous 80's hip-hop group, The Fat Boys! This should be one hell of a dance party, where the tunes are fat, but the ladies are mad skinny from all the blow they do! Now get out there kid, burn some calories dancing, and make sure you look good doing it!

Oh that Gary Busey preaching about the lord and sobriety again? Better get security.

First of all, I thought horizontal stripes would be a no-no for a heavyset person, and vertical was the way, but whatever…I'm not here to judge. The Fat Boys consisted of Mark Morales aka "Prince Markie Dee" - Damon Wimbley aka "Kool Rock-Ski" - and The Human Beat Box himself, Darren Robinson aka "Buff Love." Buff Love might be the greatest name in Hip-Hop history...the name says it all! Are You Ready For Freddy? was written for 1988's A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, and also appeared on 1997’s best of album - All Meat: No Filler. Even though I love Dream Warriors, I always liked this one just a little bit more. It's such a fun video and song, and how great is it that Freddy raps? And to top it off, his skills are garbage! Not that I don't appreciate lyrics like..."You see my name is Freddy - and I'm here to say - I'll wrap you up - and take you away! And if you feel like your tired - and ready for bed - Don't fall asleep - or you'll wake up dead!" Watch out now, he's like the next Ja Rule, but instead, he could be Claw Rule! Also, while it's a little embarrassing to admit, I always liked the songs chorus as sung by whoever the girl is, I mean, there isn't a female in The Fat Boys - so I like to think she's a ghost! "Watch out - or Freddy - will bust your heart!" Right on sister!

Hope you guys enjoyed this evenings Dance Party! I know I did, and I know, that you know, that I know, that you know, that I want you. To keep on dancin'!!!! Yo Skele-tone! Bring that beat back, son!! This party ain't over yet - or at least not until I can get one of these ladies drunk enough to come up to the suite with me. I wonder if that ghost chick can get wasted or not?


  1. That's my jam right thurrr. Aw yeah, party's just getting started. Hookers and blow all weekend.

  2. Oh shit! It's Aaron and P-O-T up in this piece! You guys got moves like Kid n Play and shit!

    After the fat Boys ate Whodini, they would be spitting rivets out for days!

    Oh...and do any of you guys know a good clinic to get *this* cleared up?

  3. There are no words to describe how funny this is.

  4. Oh word?! What's up Christine the mean-mean dancin' machine?! Did you bring any of yo friends with you tonight? You know how we love female attendance here at Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party! If you need any pills, let me know!

  5. Dang, Matt, you took it back! I swear I remember this from Friday Night Videos or whatever my babysitter was watching... it made me love Freddy all the more.

  6. More ladies joining in on the party?! Awwwww shit!! Oh, and Friday Night Video!! Talk about taking it way back!


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