32-bits of Terror: Brainscan (1994)

When I originally came up with the idea of doing 32-bits of Terror, the first film that immediately came to mind was Brainscan. When Brainscan was released back in 1994, I absolutely loved it. I was around 17-years-old, and being a horror fan (as well as a teen heartthrob), I was easily swayed by a film whose central character reads Fango and has a bad-ass bedroom coated in horror paraphernalia. Brainscan was genetically tailor made for a kid such as myself at that age. But how does it stack up for the old man I would eventually grow up to be? Well, the 32-bits of Terror shall give us as good an answer as any…

Directed by John Flynn, Brainscan follows Michael (John Conner), a teenager obsessed with two things: his straight-bangin' next-door neighbor, Kimberly (Amy Hargreaves), and horror films. Much like most young horror fiends, Michael is obsessed with anything and everything horror related. When he learns about a video game called Brainscan, the most interactive and mind-bendingly realistic horror game ever created, Michael knows he has to check it out to see if it really lives up to the hype. 

As it turns out, Brainscan does deliver the goods, and Michael finds himself playing the ultimate first-person horror game; one where he is in full control of a sick and demented serial killer who is slicing and dicing his way through the neighborhood. Michael cannot believe just how intense and real this experience is at first. However, there's a pretty good reason why Brainscan is so immersive, and that's because Michael is actually committing these murders in the real world. Michael isn't doing it all alone, though, as he does receive some inspirational guidance from a character known as Trickster (T. Ryder Smith), a guy who... well, actually, I'm not actually sure what his purpose is outside of dancing around like a jerk-off and unsuccessfully pandering to a specific audience.

*cough-FreddyKruegerfans-cough*

Pardon me.

 Graphics: 7/10

There are, unfortunately, no actual video game graphics to be judged here, so I'm basing this score solely on special effects alone. Brainscan came along at a critical time when CGI had really started to become integrated into the world of special effects, and while the CGI is certainly laughable, it's kind of fun to look back on the form in its early stages. It's like watching Clash of the Titans; It looks ridiculously fake now, but it nostalgically shuttles you back to a certain time while showing that there is always room for innovation (and in the case of CGI, there always is).

Outside of the random acts of CGI, Brainscan mixes in a multitude of other visual tricks. Optical effects, reverse photography and the gold standard in the medium, practical make-up, are all on showcase in Brainscan. And quite frankly, it's cool to see all these tricks(ter) of the trade being used in one film, as that is essentially the best way SPFX can be utilized; using all of the tools in the toolbox, instead of simply relying on CGI alone.    

Sound: 7/10

Despite the fact that the OST does reflect the time period nicely, outside of Primus' "Welcome to this World" and White Zombie's "Thunder Kiss '65," I cannot say that I ever really dug much of the music in Brainscan. The reason I give the film's sound a good score is mostly due to the fact that I actually really enjoy its main theme, which was scored by George S. Clinton. Something about the piano and the brooding guitar just work for me. Though, it very much reminds me of something that you would hear from a Nightmare film, which is fitting considering Brainscan was a poor attempt at pandering to the Nightmare crowd. Regardless, it's an awesome song. 

Replay Value: 7/10

Brainscan is one of those movies I used to watch quite often back in my late teen years, so that automatically garners it some points in the replay value cata-gory. However, I am surprised that after seeing it again so many years later, and so many years matured, I feel as if I could easily toss this flick in at least a few more times within my lifespan.

Terrortainment: 6.5/10

Whether or not I enjoy Brainscan, I cannot say that it's necessarily all that entertaining. Furlong's performance and some of the dialogue notwithstanding, there is little that's worthy of a laugh. Worse yet, the so-called main antagonist, Trickster, is such a poorly conceived villain in every way, shape and form, providing very little in terms of actual "entertainment," which was the point of the character. Amiright?!

Overall, the kills are mediocre at best, and even if it's the basis for the film's story, the video game presence is basically limited to a countdown screen. With that said, I do enjoy the first kill, which is shot much like a first-person shooter. Actually, it would have been great had they kept that first-person style the standard for the rest of the film's death scenes, as it would have given the movie a proper video game feel. 

 The 32-Bit Rating: 6.875

Brainscan has totally been judged with a nostalgic curve. Actually, that might be the case for a great deal of the older films and/or segments that will grace the demented corridors of the 32-bits of Terror. It is what it is, and I make no bones about it; Brainscan is not a great film, but it certainly isn't a bad one, either. It was and is comfort food that tasted good because I could sort of relate to it, and it still has a nice flavor even now due to the great nostalgia it brings to the table. 

Halloween Happenings: A Picture's Worth a Thousand Screams!

I wanted to share some of the Halloween happenings that I've been getting into so far during this horrific holiday season, and I think this is where being addicted to Instagram is really going to pay off. For as long as I've had an account, I've been using Instagram to take pictures of clouds and flowers (you know, like every other asshole who uses Instagram and thinks they're taking amazing pictures), but it's also sort of an extension of my personality, my interests and my hobbies, all of which directly correlate with CNAMB. For example, like I do with Dumpster Diving for Gold, I share any VHS and DVD finds I make (which I need to do more of around here), and sometimes I'll share a photo from a film I'm watching at the time, things of that nature.

Something else I've been using it for is to take photos of all the Halloween shenanigans I've been getting into for the past month or so. This is where Instagram's tagging feature comes in handy, as it's actually a great way for me to keep track of all the Halloween awesomeness that has polluted my life since the season began. So anyway, I thought it would be fun to share with you some of the best stuff that Halloween has brought my way so far this season, and what better way to do it than with pictures?! Well, probably with a song and dance, but I'm in my underwear right now, and that would be pretty awkward, so I'll stick with pics for time being.

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Here's some cheap Dollar Store crap and a jack-o'-lantern porch light cover from the "Big K."

I picked up this kewl little decoration for only $6 at Horrorhound Weekend in Indianapolis (which was the best time EVER).

As per usual, I've been enjoying my fair share of Sam Adams Octoberfest, but I've also completely fallen in love with Magic Hat's own brand of seasonal beverage, Hex (I might even be having one now…).

I love Cadbury Creme Eggs with a fiery passion, and the discovery that Cadbury now makes "Screme Eggs" basically means I can die now. Well, not before I eat 70 of these things. Tonight. 

It's a fact: I haven't been able to find Monster Cereals in local grocery stores for the past few years, which is enough to create a river of sadness. But this year, Wal-Mart has that shit in stock, and I literally found their Monster Cereal setup just as I was complaining about how no one sells them!

Also, I look like an idiot.

Remember Bolo?! Well, that mo fo is back and WAYYYY bigger than he ever was before. Bolo is jacked up, bro!

And here's just one of Bolo's babies, and one example of the three or four different varieties of gourd that bitch is producing. Sick! 

And now it's my favorite part… decorations! We haven't quite started doing the outside yet (mostly due to rain), but the interior of our home is all ready to 'shock' and roll!

Some of the stuff on this coffee table has changed around a bit, but I'm too lazy to take another picture!

This handy bastard seems to find a new home every year, and each new home is a cause for a good chuckle, me thinks!

And what it all comes down to is this: the cream of the crop, the pièce de résistance, the mother trucking highlight of this whole show! After my life partner came up with the idea of putting the rave to the gravestone on top of the fireplace, it set off a chain of events that led to what I think is without a doubt our coolest looking Halloween fireplace set-up yet! Looking at it really tickles my tender vittles, and I hope you dig it, too!

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That's enough of this nonsense for this evening, but I do hope this was a somewhat enjoyable journey, and I'm sure I will do at least one more post like this as the season moves forward. There's still the outside of our house that we need to decorate (which we have epic plans for), and I'm sure there will be other cool shit that pops up that I will want to share with you! Kay, buh-bye!

Chucktober 4: The Return of Matt-suzaka!

In case you haven't been paying attention to the calendar, today is the 1st day of October, which means the time has come for the 4th annual celebration known as Chucktober to begin! With Halloween being so near and dear to my rotten heart, the month of October is without a doubt my favorite time of year, and over the years, Chucktober has become a surprisingly integral part of my Halloween and all the goodies the holiday brings. I truly look forward to this day all year long, so I think it's safe to say that I am beyond mega-super-crazy-excited for this year's month long Halloween celebration!

For those of you who aren't aware of what all this nonsense is about, Chucktober (named after my favorite political food rapper, Chuck Roast) is essentially a month long festival of fear solely dedicated to all things All Hallows' Eve. Throughout the month of Chucktober, I shall fully commit myself to bringing you all sorts of creepy content focusing on all the Halloween and horror related tricks and treats your blackened heart could ever desire.

I've already spent some time prepping for this horrific event, and I think it's time I gave you a glimpse into the future of:

Chucktober 4: The Return of Matt-suzaka!

And that's just the beginning, boils and ghouls, so light up them jack-o'-lanterns and pop open an Octoberfest, because Chucktober starts now!

The Skill of Gymnastics. the Kill of Paracinema!

With October being just around the corner, I've been keeping myself quite busy gearing up for the Fourth Annual Chucktober Festival of Lights, but I've also been keeping my pretty little behind busy doing up a handful of guest posts for other blogs, one of which I'm going to talk about right now! As you can see from the banner above, Back Online. Back On Duty is celebrating one of my favorite genres of cinema with Yeah! Guns 'n Shit! 80s Action Week, and the always chiseled and flexing Eric was sweet enough to ask me to participate. Naturally, I was ecstatic, so I grabbed my button fly jeans, a handful of baby oil and a pair of black snake skin boots and got to writing up a Gymnasty review of the greatest Karate meets Gymnastics movie ever made, EVER!, 1985's Gymkata! So, now I ask you to please, after you're done with this post, head on over to Back Online. Back On Duty to read my review of Gymkata. And while you're there, check out all the other sweat drippin' action goodies that Eric has in store!

While I have your adorable yet slightly melon shaped eyes adorned with the beauty of my words, I'd like to take a moment and step away from the pummel horse to pimp out the latest issue of the greatest genre cinema magazine ever put to magazine, Paracinema! Issue 17 of Paracinema Magazine is STACKED with some seriously awesome articles from people who are equally as awesome as the articles they have written. And, like Gallery Furniture, that's no bull.   

Check out some of what's in store!

“Endemic Madness”: Subversive 1930s Horror Cinema
by Jon Towlson

Of Bonsai and Balance: The Hero’s Journey in The Karate Kid
by Patrick Cooper

You Can Clean Up the Mess, But Don’t Touch My Coffin: The Legacy of Sergio Corbucci’s Django
by Ed Kurtz

Be Kind, No Need to Rewind: The Preservation, Demand and Ubiquity of Shot on VHS Cinema in an Increasingly Digital Landscape
by Justin LaLiberty

I Don’t Want to See What I Hear: Paranoia and Personality Eradication in The Conversation
by Todd Garbarini

Black Cats and Black Gloves: The Influence of the Gothic on Sergio Martino’s Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key
by James Gracey

What did I tell you? STACKED! The Conversation? The Karate Kid? Django? 30's Horror? VHS? Your Vice is a Locked Room?!

If you haven't been reading Paracinema Magazine, then issue 17 is about as good any to start with, and it's only $7!! Head over to Paracinema and pre-order issue 17 right now, unless you want to know how it feels to be sad, because without Paracinema, you are indeed a sad, sad person.

PRE-ORDER HERE!

In Defense of Hostel: Part II (2007)

I think it's fair to say that Eli Roth is easily one of the most divisive names among horror fans. Whether it be his films, his “Teddy fucking ballpark” acting, or even the man himself, Roth has found a way to leave an impression on horror fans that ranges from unmitigated adoration to complete repulsion. While his filmography is still in an infantile state with the amount of directorial output he has produced, Roth has made quite the impact on the genre since his 2002 debut, Cabin Fever.

Regardless of the fact that both Cabin Fever and his sophomore effort, 2005's Hostel, have split a small rift in how they are received by horror fans, Cabin Fever has a decent cult following while Hostel is the template of -- and will likely be looked back upon as a major piece of -- the genre that would come to be branded "Torture Porn." To label either Hostel or Cabin Fever as being unfairly underappreciated would be a tad unfitting, as each film has garnered a decent amount of fandom in some fashion. Nevertheless, Eli Roth has directed one other notable horror movie, and it's actually one that I truly enjoy; however, it's also a film that seems to chap the average horror fan's ass in the harshest of way, and that would be his follow up to Hostel: 2007's Hostel: Part II.

Now, I should be clear that when I say that "I truly enjoy" Hostel: Part II, I may be underplaying it a bit because, quite frankly, I very much LOVE Hostel: Part II. In fact, I find it to be one of the rare sequels that surpasses its predecessor in almost every way. Now, there's no denying the fact that Hostel: Part II is, at its core, the same story as what was found in the original. It's certainly a valid observation, but not so much a valid complaint when it's something we've seen more than once before, most notably with The Evil Dead and The Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn, for example.

Swapping out the boys for a group of young women, Hostel: Part II does somewhat follow the same premise as Hostel, but what the sequel does differently is expand upon what was done in the first movie. Most notably, it gives the audience an inside look into how Elite Hunting functions as an entity, even giving a second story arc to two men who are to poised to partake in the murders of two of the film's main protagonists. Giving a background or a backstory to characters, or what have you, in a horror sequel or a reboot often proves to be tedious and unnecessary. In the case of Hostel: Part II, it works as a fairly brilliant way to break up the monotony of that familiar plot line the girls follow, while also, and more importantly, serving an actual purpose to the story. Giving a face (and the time to go with it) to the protagonists doesn't take away from the value of the female characters, as they are clearly the focus of Hostel: Part II. Sharing the spotlight with "the killers" doesn't pull away from the focal point of this sequel; it simply works as a parallel to it. It's very much like watching a game of cat and mouse but from both points of view.

One of the things that works best in Hostel: Part II is the always lingering and uncertain threat that seems to follow the female protagonists, no matter where they are or who they're with. It's never clear exactly who can be trusted, and the fact that they're in a foreign land only compounds the danger of it all. And for me, Roth really comes through with bringing these moments to life in ways that are quite tense, keeping Hostel: Part II's horror qualities from being solely focused on the torturous aspects, which is something that was an issue (for some) with the first film.

One of the strongest moments in particular is when the film's main focus, Beth, awakens from a short nap at a geothermal spa only to find that everyone has disappeared, her belongings included. The frigid, steam-filled setting is absolutely striking and grandiose in a way where the surroundings begin to dwarf Beth, making her sudden seclusion all the more imposing. However, that seclusion is eradicated when Beth is approached by a group of men who clearly mean her harm. Suddenly, and without warning, the massive and comforting environment begins to squeeze in on her, leaving Beth with no choice but to try to escape the cage that is fastly forming around her. It's a fantastic moment, and one that shows Roth's maturity as a director.         

Something else that stands out greatly for me with Hostel: Part II are the female characters, specifically Beth, who is played fantastically by Lauren German. I think most people chalk the women of Hostel: Part II up to being no more than boobied versions of the guys from the first film. This is something I cannot completely disagree with, specifically when it comes to Bijou Phillips' character Whitney, but Beth steps out from the pack for being what I consider a fantastic example of a truly strong female character.

In many ways, Beth could be considered a final girl, except for the typical Slasher final girl is somewhat shy and non confrontational, that is, until it's their time to shine comes in the final act. Beth, on the other hand, is shown to be a headstrong and self assured woman a number of times throughout the film, and where her character ends up in the finale is mirrored by her actions throughout the movie. I think this becomes apparent during an early altercation where a scummy European guy calls Beth a "cunt." Instead of cowering away from the confrontation, she launches right back at him, flat out telling the guy to "fuck off." Beth doesn’t show even the slightest sign of being intimidated, and this plays out greatly in the final moments of the film where she takes complete control of the situation she is in, therefore allowing herself a chance to escape. And when Beth is once again referred to as a cunt, well, the results are about as bloody satisfying as it gets.  

I won't sit here and claim that Hostel: Part II is without its flaws, but all around it's a very well crafted film, and one that I consider to be quite an enjoyable watch. With the specific sub-genre that it falls into, I can accept the fact that this isn't the type of film that everyone will enjoy, but personal taste, as well as negative feelings about the director as a person, shouldn't dictate whether or not a movie is good (well, most of the time). It's not a perfect film, but it works perfectly for me, which, in the end, is all that matters. 

This look at Hostel: Part II is my contribution to Full Moon Reviews "Sequel September." Make sure you stop by Full Moon reviews for all the other sequel goodies that Fred the Wolf and others have cooked up for the month! 

Baby Babble: Chopping the LAMB and Other Random Nonsense

 

*Burp* I seriously cannot believe it's been an entire month since I've posted anything. It's not like I don't have anything I could post, it's just that I'm weird, so stop looking at me like that, okay! I will be posting some shit soon, I promise, but for this moment in time I have a few things to go over with you, so sit back, relax and allow me to take you on a journey to the other side… of your mind!

First up, Jason of Invasion of the B-Movies and Nolahn of Barging Bin Review were kind enough to once again allow me to join them for an episode of The Lair of the Unwanted. In this awesome episode, we talk about the '80s killer robot masterpiece, Chopping Mall, and I also play The Game of the Unwanted, in which I had to put up my trivia dukes and show my knowledge of Mall stores as well as Wes Craven's Scream. We also did an off-the-cuff version of Ask the LAMB (which I will go over in a little more detail in just a sec.), so make sure you tune in, drop out and turn it up! Or however that saying goes.  

 

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Alright, as I mentioned in the last paragraph, there is this thing called Ask the LAMB, a somewhat new feature over at The Large Association of Movie Blogs that gives readers the opportunity to ask a handpicked ragtag group of LAMB members (myself included) a question. Generally the questions are movie related, and so far we've been hit up with some pretty interesting (and sometimes strange) inquiries, and the result is some even more interesting and often hysterical answers.

Here's the question I was lucky enough to tackle this time around: 

Yahoo! User #9 Asks:
I'm an aspiring director. I'm looking to shoot my own short film. I
have actors & a hotel room. Any ideas?

If you'd like to read my answer or submit a question of your own, head over to The LAMB for more!

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Last things last, though this is a case where last is certainly not least, I went an entire month without even mentioning Halloween on this blog, and I sort of did that on propose. You see, I kind of killed Halloween last year with getting way into it way too soon, and by the time the actual day had arrived, I was a little worn out. This is something that I thought could never happen. Now, there were other factors that played into this fatigue, but I didn't want to take the risk of letting something like that happen again, so I figured I'd take it nice and smooth, just the way you like it. 

Anyway, I cannot go on any longer without mentioning that Halloween is indeed on it's way, and with it comes the fourth annual celebration known as Chucktober! And while I have been keeping my Halloween and Chucktober excitement bottled up for the most part, don't think that it hasn't been on my mind for the past month, because it certainly has, and I am extremely excited! I've already begun putting some stuff together for what I hope will be the finest Chucktober yet, with some returning features, a handful of movie reviews and whatever other random shit pops up between now and "the big day." I know I'm looking forward to it, and I hope you do, too!  

Alrighty, I've already taken enough of your time up, so for now I shall leave you with this…

Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era

Every generation of horror fans has a specific era that they grew up with. Naturally there is a nice transitional overlap from what came before and after, but at the heart of it all there is about a decade of time that sits comfortably in the center of what each fan considers "the good ol' days." For me, personally, that time period would be the 1980s. Not only did I get the overlap of the mid-to-late '70s, but I also watched as horror evolved, and often devolved, into what might be the strangest (and most entertaining) time in horror cinema with the early 1990s. That entire time period from the mid-'70s to the mid-'90s is as gory good as it gets, and the main factor for it being such an awesome time for the genre is the bridge in between.

Horror boomed big time in the '80s, and there are a number of factors for this, most notably being the VHS format. VHS took film out of the cinemas and ushered in an era of home video that caused movie fans to go completely bananas, and at the forefront of it all was the horror genre. There was an evolution that genre cinema went through because of home video, and home video itself evolved due in large part to the popularity of genre cinema on the format. As a result, a very specific formula began to prove immensely successful (i.e. profitable) for "non-Hollywood" production companies. Video goers began to yearn for something specific from their rentals; they wanted blood and monsters; they wanted fun and entertainment; they wanted a pair of nice tits on a beautiful woman. And like a perfect storm, all of these things came together and combined to result in the birth of the Scream Queen era.

It is the almighty Scream Queen and the time in which they ruled that is the focus of 2011's Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era, a documentary that, as promises, looks at the rise and fall of a specific group of extremely popular genre actresses: Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer. Often considered some of most notable and certainly three of the most popular horror actresses of the era, "The Terrifying Trio" of Stevens, Bauer and Quigley made a major splash on the home video scene throughout the '80s and much of the '90s, completely changing the landscape of the role women played in low-budget horror. These were the women who went from being the faceless but very "healthy" background babes to being the main selling point of a slew of B-Movies in the '80s and early '90s.

Directed by Jason Paul Collum, Screaming in High Heels follows the typical talking head format that seems to be the gold standard for a majority of film related docs. Outside of the three Scream Queens and their generous insights, interviews come in the form of subject relevant film folk such as Fred Olen Ray, David DeCoteau, Kenneth J. Hall, and a handful of other people who were a part of the scene, all of whom deliver plenty of interesting stories and tidbits for the viewer to chew on. The doc runs the gamut of numerous interesting subjects that cover the era from start to finish, as each Scream Queen speaks of the incredible highs that came with their popularity as well as the negative effects that came along with doing the "types of films" the women were doing. Some of which has followed them up until this very day. The price of fame, I suppose.

For the record, I am a huge fan of film documentaries, particularly ones that are about specific genres or eras of cinema, and outside of the insightful interviews, the doc is chockfull of great movie clips, something that is often a highlight of any film documentary. Also enjoyable is seeing things like television appearances that the girls had made as well as the many ways in which they "busted" their way into pop culture.

Screaming in High Heels certainly delivers the goods by covering a lot of ground; however, while the doc is overall very satisfying, there are two problems that I have with it, one being the runtime (I like 'em long, baby!) and the other being the lack of a fanboy perspective. Now, when I say fanboy perspective, what I mean is Screaming in High Heels could have used some commentary from a celebrity horror fan like an Eli Roth, an Adam Green or whoever could step to the plate and bring that solid fanboy perspective that I, as a fan, can relate to. And in doing so, the runtime of just over 60 min would be stretched out a solid 15-20 min, making the doc's length less of a problem for me.

Regardless of these minor issues, I thoroughly enjoyed Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era and have no qualms about recommending it to anyone who loves Scream Queens as well as anyone who enjoys this specific time in horror cinema.    

If you'd like to check out Screaming in High Heels for yourself, the horror cable network Chiller shows it from time-to-time, but if you want to see the unedited version, then Breaking Glass Pictures is releasing it on DVD on August 28th. And, depending on your sexual preference, you might want to see this one unedited. *cough-cough lots-of-boobs cough-cough!*