Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Horror Hangover


I would have to take a wild guess and assume that many a horror fan went on a bender this weekend after suffering from what is apparently a horrible remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street. I didn't get a chance to see it myself, but wow-o-wow are the reviews simply awful and from a lot of trustworthy sources at that. I may give it a watch tonight if I get a chance, but that depends on how hard work rapes my energy this afternoon. So, hopefully I can bring you out of your drunken horror rut with a handful of cinematic goodness and not so goodness with this edition of The Horror Hangover.

We're starting things off with FX, a channel that spends the day being sooo super with a slew of superhero films, starting with Daredevil (2003) at 10:05. Now, people like to slag on Daredevil, but I actually quite enjoy it. It's not an upper tier comic book movie by any stretch, but it is much better than a lot of the comic films to have come out. Affleck is not that bad in the film or not as bad as some would make him out to be, and there are a handful of great moments here and there. However, Jennifer Garner can eat rat poison by the spoonful.

Following Daredevil, FX keeps up the heroics with Spider-Man 2.1 (2004) at 12:40 and then that film's sequel, Spider-Man 3 (2007) at 3:45. Spider-Man 3 is one that I kinda like and I kinda hate, and even with the hate, it's still better than X3 and Wolverine. On the other hand, Spider-Man 2 is one of the best comic movies ever put to film and by far, one of my favorites. If I made a list of my top five favorite comic book based films, Spider-Man 2 would definitely be on it. In fact, that might be a fun idea for a future post…

Oh yeah, Spider-Man 2…pick of the week!

Getting back to 10:30, SyFy slithers in with a handful of creepy crawly films starting with Copperhead (2008). Plot wise, the film concerns a small town in the Wild West that is attacked by poisonous snakes. However, this incredibly misleading trailer would give you no reason to think that there are snakes in the movie, but that is the plot as I read it. Sounds like it could be fun, and the Wild West setting is a different approach to a film about killer *fill in the blank*. Oh, and Billy Drago is in it, but that dude has left a real bad taste in my mouth since he shitted all up my TV screen with that terrible performance in Miike's MoH entry, Imprint.

Right after Copperhead, SyFy goes all Lexington Steele with Mega Snake (2007) at 12:30. As opposed to Copperhead, Mega Snake is much more along the lines of what SyFy normally has to offer film wise, which is okay by me. It's plot is pretty similar to Gremlins, similar meaning that it is a rip off of Gremlins but with a snake and no cute little Gizmo to lighten your spirits.

And finally, SyFy ends the afternoon at 2:30 with Arachnophobia (1990). I actually saw Arachnophobia in theaters and I fully blame that movie for my fear of spiders. I love the film, though, and it is a great mixture of humor and horror with a classic 50's B-Movie monster sensibility. Definitely a great way for SyFy to end their day Hangover wise.

Speaking of ending days, my day here is all over and you are free to go back to drooling on yourself! Later dewds!


  1. Niiice... but I'll be honest for a moment and will admit that I actually don't want to watch the new remake of Elm Street purely because im certain that if it's as bad as I think it will be, i'll forever associate it with it's classic debut which goes without saying, they belong in two entirely seperate fields!
    Great idea about the post of comic books bought to film! I say this because I read a very insightful essay on Spiderman (the first installment) and how what transformations the story itself had to undergo to be formatted into film content. If I happen to come by it, I'll swing it your way because it was a great read.

    April Skye xx

  2. Glad someone else agrees with me on Billy Drago in Imprint. Wow. I would almost rather slit my wrists than have to sit through his laughable performance again (and sadly, I bought the DVD sight unseen). He trashed that one (and many others, really) and if I didn't see him again (ever) I'd be cool with that!

    Oh, and I love Arachnaphobia too!

  3. What do you have against Jennifer Garner other than having a man face?

    God I hated Spiderman 3. Emo Peter Parker and a fucking waste of a perfectly good villain, Venom.

  4. April: From all the negative word in the hood, it might be best to stay far, far away from the remake! I almost don't even want to bother, but I do feel it is my Civic duty to try and catch it in theaters if I can.

    I might do a top five comic book based list at some point - four of the five come to mind almost immediately, so it would be an easy list to put together.

    Christine: Ha, I bought it before hand too! I like it in a way for the sicker aspect of it, but the performance by Drago is one of the worst I have ever seen! Even the Japanese cast sounded terrible because of the forced and very sketchy English. Should have just made it a subtitled film, American TV show or not.

    POT: Heh, besides having the manliest face, she makes the stupidest faces on top of it! Ugh, that fucking commercial for 13 Going on 30 made me want to drink bleach! Ugh, thinking about it makes me want to drink bleach!

    I like some stuff about Spidey 3, but there is plenty to dislike too. Venom was a major waste of time, and it irritates me to no end that the studio forced Raimi into putting the character in, taking away from what is a villain that can more than stand alone.

  5. I just like Daredevil for Colin Farrell.

    Arachnophobia has a soft spot in my black black heart. I love spiders and think John Goodman is an awesome actor. So the two combined presto fun times.

  6. People like to shit-can Farrell in that film, but his performance is so extremely over the top, I find it difficult not to be entertained by it!

    I don't like spiders, but I do like spider movies, and I love me some Dan Conner, so it does make for a good combo for me too!

  7. Damnit the wife is going to kill me for missing ARACHNOPHOBIA, shes been saying how she wants to see it for months.. I need to just netflix it and get it over with.

  8. Have you ever seen it? It's a fun film with some good and honest scares in it!


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