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Thursday, May 6, 2010

Chuck Norris Caption Action Kick!: Hell of the Living Dead!

hell2

Hell of the Living Dead is a 1981 Italian zombie film, and as with many Italian zombie films, it is a rip-off of a handful of other successful movies of the time, namely, Dawn of the Dead. Sometimes completely boring, sometimes completely entertaining, this sloppily made film is more than fun and even more than ridiculous with its poor gore FX and incredibly painful and overly used stock footage.

Brought to us by Bruno Mattei, Hell of the Living Dead was co-written by frequent Mattei collaborator, Claudio Fragasso, who also did some of the second unit directing that, consisted of effects work to beef up the grue. If the name Claudio Fragasso sounds somewhat familiar, it's because he is the man responsible for bringing cinema one of its finest films ever constructed, Troll 2. That should tell you all you need to know…

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I didn't know Rumer Willis worked with hazardous materials?

(If you are not aware, Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce and Demi, has a massive noggin. Like, Rocky Dennis makes fun of her massive)hell

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"You got something on your shoulder…here, let me get it for you!"hell4

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"Who wants to hear some of my freestyle? Throw your guns in the air..."hell5

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"Remember, whomever cums last, has to eat the cookie. All of it."hell6

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"Wake up honey, it's 7:45, you're gonna be late for work…"hell8

"I'm not going in today, babe…I'm feeling a little under the weather, and I'm DEAD tired!"  hell9

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"Your lack of breast milk really irks me, daddy…" hell0

"Guess this will just have to do then."hell12

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"You wouldn't by any chance happen to have a napkin on you? That damn buffalo wing sauce gets everywhere, doesn't it?!" hell13

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Even the natives can't help but get swelled heads when they run into a naked white women with jungle bush. Just ask the guy with the diaper.hell14

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"Hey, I could really go for some of that Oil of Olay you got over there…" hell15

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The disturbing and corrupting effects that rap music has on decent white women. hell16

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"Nope, I don't see your cat up here either." hell17

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Looks like someone didn't get the memo.hell18

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"Anyone seen the lifeguard around? Um, help?"hell19

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I'm chewing in the rain, chewing in the rain…hell20

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"Hey, let us in and we'll tell you all about Jesus…at least take a few of these pamphlets!" hell21

10 comments:

  1. Hahaha, that was great, man! I cracked up when I saw the photo with the "memo" bit. Awesome job! I'm hoping to have something similar up on my blog in a few days. It'll be a comic book-esque review of Frankenstein's Bloody Terror. Eegads!

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  2. Thanks man! I was just going to do a straight review, but as I was doing screen grabs, it bacame apparent that they were more entertaining than a review could have been! I look forward to what you do with Frankenstein's Bloody Terror...that's been sitting in my queue forever.

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  3. Hey Dolewhite, I’m hosting the My Best Post blog-a-thon. It goes from May 21st-23rd.
    Want to know the best part? You’ve already written your entry.
    Just send me a link to your best/favorite/underrated blog post! Thanks!

    http://he-shot-cyrus.blogspot.com/2010/04/big-announcement-revealed.html

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hey, thanks for considering me...I very much appreciate that. But oh man, I have a post or two that are really funny and would be great, however, I have one that pretty much went ignored and was one of my favorite reviews. The decision shall be tough.

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  5. I think you're missing your calling as a screenwriter.

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  6. That would be a calling I would gladly answer!

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  7. Nice! I love HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD. So fucking wacky! I really loved the scene where the one guy got so fed up with everyone that he stopped them in mid zombie attack and explained that they had to shoot the zombies in the head. I also got a kick out of this one particular female extra in the background who couldn't keep from laughing every time she was on screen!

    This is such an underrated zombie movie and I don't understand why it gets shit on by a lot of people. Rip-off or not, it's one of the more entertaining zombie movies I have ever seen.

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  8. Yeah, it's bad and cheap, but unlike a lot of Italian zombie films, it's completely entertaining and fun. There are moments where it gets boring, but that is mostly when the film is all stock footage. Outside of that, it's a blast.

    One of my favorite moments is when the couple decide that they can run away from the zombies, but to run away, they run right at them?! Like they could just go around, or go the other way?! Classic.

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  9. Ive tried to like this film.. and by try I mean watching it more than once rather than destroying it on impact. As shitty as it is, it is the first pic I think of when I think shitty Italian zombie horror. Thanks for the laughs dude!

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  10. Well, at least I could make it into something fun for you, Carl!

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