The Apocalypse Continues. Still.

Rarely do I post only one single trailer, but I wanted to spend a little extra time and give this first look at Resident Evil: Afterlife, the attention it deserves (?). So, if you haven't seen the trailer (or even if you have), check it out, then I'll meet you right after to talk about what we saw! Kay? 

Alright, there is quite a bit to take in with this one, so I'm going to go over a few key things that stand out for me in this trailer. Fittingly, these things are the definition of what the series is and has been, which can almost be broken up into two categories.

I'll start with the good…

Mila Jovovich: Of course, the first thing to mention is seeing the return of Mila Jovovich, who is maybe the biggest draw for most fans of the series. She still looks great and I can feel comfortable in assuming that she will be whopping dat ass in style, as she always does.

Style: Something else I noticed was the visual style of the film. There are a few key shots that look stunning, namely the shot of the Hollywood sign and the one when Alice is jumping from the rooftop. It's an awesome look and the colors and texture almost look like the mate painting backgrounds of yesteryear.

REAL 3-D: I have a major distaste for the need to use the third dimension in EVERY film that comes out. As it was in the 80's, it has become nothing but a gimmick and a means to get the unsuspecting to spend way too much money for a movie that gains nothing from the "next level in cinema!" However, most of these films that are so called 3-D, are imposter conversions of the format and look terrible, but when a movie is crafted specifically for 3-D, it will no doubt look fantastic. Plus, it is that super duper 3-D being used, which we'll be coming back to a little later on.  

MONSTERS!: The last thing that really stuck out was that badass gigantic dude with that burly axe (who I believe is from the fifth game in the series), who looks like he could make up for the folly that was Nemises in Resident Evil: Apocalypse. 

Now, those are some of the positive things about this trailer, next I'll go over the corny and very stereotypical, yet awesome, aspects of the trailer...

Blu Blockers: In a completely original move, there's a dude that throws his super-cool sunglasses at the camera and for the fullest effect, it's done in slow-mo. I am fully expecting that they will explode all up in, or land perfectly on, someone's face. Either way is fine with me.

Flip You!: I noticed that there's a run-up-a-wall to back-flip, to land-on-knee, look-up, ready-to-pounce move. Always a classic and a staple of any cheesy action movie.

Born to Run: I saw at least one shot with characters running away from an explosion. I have a feeling that this will happen at least 19 times in Afterlife…anything less, would be a felony. 

Trinity Who?: Notice that jumping through a window, while shooting a gun in slow-mo Matrix move? Me too, but Afterlife is upping the ante by having TWO people jump through a window, shooting guns in slow-mo! Whoa.

We Will Rock You!: I'd be silly if I didn't mention there is some much needed, thumpin' techno rock music, just to add a little edge!

REAL 3-D: Now, how do I know that Resident Evil: Afterlife is doing 3-D the right way? Well, that might have something to do with the TRIPLE NAME DROP!!! of James Cameron, Vincent Pace and the Fusion Camera System. Shit is epic and so awful all at the same time. 

In the end, Resident Evil: Afterlife looks like it will be ridiculous and silly, but completely fun and entertaining…which is the case with all the films in the series. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this trailer (and the film), whether or not you think I'm right, or that I'm completely out of my mind. I'll go with the latter based off the fact that I just wrote 700 words about a Resident Evil trailer.

The Horror Hangover

Hoppity hop, bitches! It's Easter, which must mean it's Sunday, so that must mean it's time for…The Horror Hangover! And guess what? It is! So, pick up that remote with your nasty chocolate covered fingers, and lets get started already!

11:00 starts things off long and thick with Anaconda (1997) on TBS. I love nature run amuck and giant animal films, so even though Anaconda is a little less than good, I still get a kick out of it. A giant snake, Ice Cube as the token black guy with street 'tude, and Jon Voight chewing up more than even the anaconda…what's not to enjoy? Don't answer that.

Next up at 1:00, FX has the perfect Easter movie with Constantine (2005). Constantine is one of those films that people seem to enjoy for the most part, but few fully embrace it. I personally think the movie is great and it's one of the few films that Reeves is pretty good in (kind of). For the most part, it's gorgeously shot with lots of nice visuals, and there are a handful of great scenes. There are also some very solid performances, but a few too many throwaway characters, which may be the film's biggest flaw. Still, it's a great movie with a lot of interesting things going on in it and it's certainly worth a viewing this afternoon.  

At 1:00 on Spike, while you are enjoying your afternoon on the couch, some people are spending it In Hell (2003), namely Jean-Claude Van Damme and one of the greatest defensive football players of all-time, Lawrence Taylor (aka the real L.T.). I have seen this movie before and I remember thinking it was surprisingly decent, but I remember very little about it. I more than likely watched it on cable while nursing a hangover, so that could be the reason for my lack of memory. I would watch it again if that says anything, so I feel confident in having it featured on the Hangover today. 

Also at 1:00, prepare to serve your planet with Starship Troopers (1997) on TBS. It's 100% Verhoeven, so it's 50% tongue-in-cheek social commentary, mixed with 50% awesome Sci Fi/Action fun! I'm having trouble choosing a pick of the week, but I think Starship Troopers is THE definition of a perfect Hangover movie, so it shall be my choice!  

Following Starship Troopers, at 3:00, Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008) is on TBS. I have never even seen the second Troopers' film, so I have no clue if either of the sequels are any good. However, Casper is back, so that might make this a worthy sequel. Or not. 

Finishing off the afternoon, at 3:30, 30 Days of Night (2007) is on FX. I loved 30 Days when I saw it in theaters, but when I watched it again on DVD, I lost that loving feeling. Great setting, nice visual palate, blood thirsty vampires, some positive gore, all the makings for a great horror film. Unfortunately, the vampires are so lame with their stupid sounding language and need to have their mouths open all the time. They embarrass themselves acting the way they do with their pointless growling at the camera. The story progression is handled poorly, it's super clichéd, and I HATE Ben Foster in this film. Overall, a mediocre vampire movie, at best.  

That does it for this edition of The Horror Hangover…hope you all have a great Sunday and GO RED SOX!

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Cool as Ice Edition!

Nothing quite says Ninja like one Mr. Vanilla Ice. Much like a stealth assassin, he snuck past your better judgment and made his way into your boom box, and before you could say NO!, you were playing that funky music and shaving lines into the side of your head (You, not me. Okay, maybe me.). Like a Ninja, he was also a master of disguise, as he was able to convinced America that he was a rapper that came with a certain level of street cred. Much like a Ninja, Vanilla has now snuck past Chuck (he was eating) and made his way onto Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, with the song, Ninja Rap!

Go Ninja, go Ninja, GO!!!

Ninja Rap was written and performed by Robert Matthew Van Winkle for 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. Vanilla even makes an appearance in the film itself and performs the song at a club for the movie's action filled finale. While Ooze kind of sucks in comparison to the first and very fun Turtles film, it does have many positive things: Ernie Reyes Jr., Super Shredder, a much hotter April O'Neil, and of course, the Ninja Rap ending! Nothing quite says commercial like getting the hottest sucker to perform a song for your movie, in your movie and what it says about that performer is all that needs to be said. Naw mean?

Still, sucker sell-out or not, I love every second of it! This video is gold from second one with Rob doing the Go Ninja cheer, and all with some super Hip-Hop hand gestures. It shows that even a thug can have fun once in a while too. I also love just how hard he dances…it's like he really means what he's rapping about and to not dance spastically would be holding in his love for Ninja Turtles. You just can't fight back a love like that, and the only way to get it out is with hard and quick head turns that go from left to right. Of course, the lyrics are also quite amazing, with my favorite line being: "Did you ever see a turtle get down?!" It's not my favorite because it's sooo corny…nope, it's my favorite because I have seen a turtle get down, so I can totally relate. I do think the best part of this entire clip is the end, when Robert talks about his experience doing the song and his role in the film. Keep it clean, make it Ice, and Vanilla did just that. Yup-yup, he sure did.

That's My Fun Day

I was recently invited to a "super special" first time screening of a film titled, Manic Monday. I actually didn't know what the movie was, what it was called, or anything about it before the screening - the only thing I knew about the film was that it was a new low budget horror movie from a first time director. It was free, I was off from work and I felt all cool going to this exclusive little event, so as long as the film didn't make me punch animals, I was more than happy to drive an hour to check it out.

Expecting very little from a movie with a title like Manic Monday, on top of never hearing anything about it beforehand, I was very surprised with what I saw. Actually, very surprised may be the understatement of the year. Directed by newcomer, Dex Baxter, Manic Monday focuses on Miranda and Peter Gamble (Elaine Barstow and Jeremy Winston), a family that goes through hell when their young daughter Heather (Melissa Jost), literally opens a portal to hell while innocently playing with a Ouija board. It sounds a little cheesy, I know, but Manic Monday is a whole lot more than that basic description I just gave you.

I'll be straight forward and say that no matter how low this film's budget is, it's one of the strongest that I have seen this year so far. Baxter has an incredible eye and Manic Monday is strikingly shot and put together in such a way that I was nearly speechless by the film's end. Fantastic pacing, tight editing, and amazing use of what was available (within the budget) are what really blew me away with this one. I believe the film was shot all in HD digital, and it does make it look a little off at first (much like Ink), but once you get going and see what is pulled off with that limitation, you completely forget.     

Story wise, Manic Monday is somewhat simplistic on the surface, but it has a lot of depth. Each of the characters are well written and the interactions between the parents and Heather are handled so realistically that there are some moments that are completely moving in the sadness of the situation with which this family is faced. Most of the actors do a proficient job playing their parts, but the stand out comes from Tom Huston, who plays the sketchy next-door neighbor, Ezekiel Smit. He is an intimidating presence and reminds me of a younger bald version of the Tall Man from the Phantasm films, mixed with some Fred Gwynne from Pet Sematary. And I must say, his raking skills are unlike any I have ever seen in a film.

There are a lot of well placed scares, many of which are enhanced by the films overall tension. I felt a sense of dread for much of the movies runtime and a lot of that had to do with how the film was crafted. One moment that I had my jaw dropped low, involved Heather getting her hand caught in a garbage disposal. For sake of spoilers, I wont reveal the details, but this is such an expertly crafted scene that made me quite uneasy and the use of Aerosmith's Dream On just pounded the terror deeper into my memory.

After the film, the attending audience learned that the studio has been keeping a veeeery tight lid on this one, so we were some of the very first people to have been able to see the film. They are trying to go with a grass roots campaign (along the lines of what was done with Paranormal Activity), to spread the word with the right community in a way to create demand for the movie. There is no definitive release date as of yet, as the screening was sort of the first word-of-mouth marketing step, but I will keep you posted with any news as far as when the trailer and official website go up. Manic Monday is a fabulous exercise in horror done right - I just hope to sweet baby eating Chuck, that no one swoops in for the remake kill.

The Girl Next Door

I often throw on some random movie before I go to bed most every night, which is usually pretty late because I stay up either writing, reading other blogs, or watching a movie. Even though I'm only putting something on to fall asleep to, I tend to get all picky about my choice and try to find something I’m in the mood for, even though I plan on going nite-nite. There is no real rationale at this time of night since I am tired and it’s late, so out of frustration, I usually just say, “fuck it, I’ll watch this.” More often than not, I pass out almost too quickly, but once in a great while, I get sucked in.

This is something that is a bit of a double edged sword, on one hand, I am watching a movie that has me drawn in enough to keep me watching, on the other, I am staying up way too late. This was the case when I decided to watch 2007’s, The Girl Next Door. Based off the Jack Ketchum novel of the same name, this is a film that is just tough to shake for some reason and the reason is pretty clear. It’s a difficult film to watch and while there are many films that are hard to watch do to the brutality of what they portray, The Girl Next Door is more so, due to its true to life story basis.

Martyrs would be a recent example of something that is difficult to watch for some and The Girl Next Door doesn’t get quite as brutal on-screen as that film does, but knowing what is happening off-screen and the fact that some of these things did actually happen, is what sets a film like this apart. Set in the late 50’s, the film is told through the eyes of young David (Daniel Manche), who befriends Meg (Blythe Auffarth) the new girl in the neighborhood who recently moved into the house next door to David. Meg and her younger sister Susan (Madeline Taylor), have been sent to live with their aunt Ruth (Blanche Baker) and her three sons after their parents died in an auto accident.   

Many of the neighborhood kids, along with David, are friends with Ruth’s three boys and often hang out at their house, smoking butts, and drinking beer provided by the clearly lax and very outspoken Ruth. Ruth is clearly not all there and seems to be plagued by metal issues, as well as having a strange bitterness that would seem to come from past relationships with men. She often spews out improper advice for the children about men and women, and things of a sexual nature. Being kind of old, past her prime, and very bitter, Ruth is not a big fan of the youthful and pretty new member of her household and out of jealousy, she begins to slowly attack Meg in different ways.

Things start off in a verbal manner, with Ruth calling Meg a slut and belittling her in front of the other teenage boys, as well as her younger sister. The abuse escalates quickly and soon Ruth starts going a little too far with things physically. She gets the very impressionable boys involved with the abuse, which gets worse and worse as each day passes. There is a pack like mentality with the younger boys as they join in and since no one is there to tell them it’s wrong, they begin to show incredibly sickening signs of sadistic instability. Meg is at times tied up by her wrists, hanging from the ceiling in the basement, as Ruth allows the boys to play games that eventually result in Meg being stripped down to nothing.

As degrading as that is, Ruth does not allow the very curious boys to touch Meg in a sexual way…at first, but as each day passes, Ruth lets the boys do more and more to this poor girl. I wont get into too much more about what happens to Meg, but she is physically and sexually abused beyond anything imaginable, and even though much of it is off screen, it's still tough to handle at times. I found myself very frustrated with every next step Ruth and the boys would take things, mostly because I couldn’t believe someone could do this, let alone without any of the kids saying they thought it was wrong. The only boy who was not down for all of this was David, who wanted to help Meg, but was afraid and very confused by the overpowering Ruth.

That was actually a little frustrating too, the fact that Meg’s only friend didn’t really tell anyone, when he had many opportunities to do so. My frustration also partially came from wanting to see the abuse stop, but there comes a point when you realize that it will not stop, until it’s too late. As I mentioned, The Girl Next Door is based on a true story, the story of Sylvia Likens. After watching the film, I looked it up and there are some differences to the character backgrounds with the parents dying, but the core of the abuse is there. Actually, the true story is almost worse than what happens in the film due to the fact that in real life, the parents of Meg and Susan were just scum bags that pawned off their children, as opposed to dying in a car wreck.   

As far as the film itself goes, it is decently made, but feels slightly like a made for TV movie in spots, but it was put out by STARZ!, so that explains that. It doesn’t take away from the films overall effect, however. Most of the acting is decent, with all of the boys being very good, as well as Blythe Auffarth as Meg, who comes off very likable and sweet, making it all the more difficult to witness what happens to her. Blanche Baker starts off a little sketchy at first, but gets better as the film goes along, plus, she has the right look and demeanor when it comes to playing such a sick woman. I was also happy to see the great William Atherton, who plays an adult David and sort of bookends the film as it is his memory that we are watching in the movie. And lastly, I will bring up the 50’s setting, which is one that I always find enjoyable and is something often seen in stories by Stephen King, who incidentally is a big fan of the film, even comparing it to a twisted version of Stand By Me. Twisted indeed. 

While I consider Martyrs a masterpiece of the modern horror genre, I certainly do not think it’s for everyone, I would say the same for The Girl Next Door. However, even with it’s many flaws and difficult situations, I think it is an important film to watch, just due to the fact that it is based off such a harrowing story. It is one that should be told, just out of respect for what happened in real life to a poor innocent girl. This is a film and story that shows what can go on at any time, at any place, and by the hands of anyone one around us, and to be reminded of this fact, is truly frightening and saddening.

The Horror Hangover

Another Sunday, another hangover, but unfortunately for me I have to work this afternoon. Boy am I jealous that some of you get to fight off the pain you're feeling, by sleeping in and watching some commercial filled, edited for TV, movies! YAY-UH! This afternoon is a great day for televised cinema, as well as an interesting one with how it starts, in contrast to how it all ends.

Things start with a plop over at AMC with Escape from L.A. (1996) at 11:00. This was just on a recent Hangover and I enjoy it for what it is, but it's not one that everyone likes. I don't blame them, I felt the same way for a long time. But it's on, so watch if you so desire.

Moving in a slightly better direction, TBS gives you the gift of choice with Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004), which is also on at 11:00. This is another film that came up recently, but I'll quickly share my thoughts again. I enjoy the RE series for what it is, mindless action and horror that meld together for a fun time spent with Mila Jovovich. Nothing else. Apocalypse is my least favorite of the trilogy, with my favorite being, Resident Evil: Extinction (2007), which just so happens to be on TBS at 1:00, right after Apocalypse.  How's that for set up! RE Extinction is so close to being awesome, that it is awesome!

Next up, WGN is showing Wes Craven Presents: They (2002) at 2:00. I have never had even the slightest of interest in They, Wes Craven's name all over it or not. However, it is directed by Rob Harmon, the same director that brought us 1986's The Hitcher, so that gives the film a little more credibility. I also kind of dig this trailer too, but I am still only slightly more interested than not at all.  

Speaking of never been interested, TBS keeps 'em coming with The Chronicles of Riddick (2004) at 3:00. I loved Pitch Black and even loved the Riddick video game, but I have not heard too many positive things about this one, and I also thought it looked awful. Maybe I'm wrong, but maybe I'm not?!     

Things go boo-yah over at Sundance Channel with Shotgun Stories (2008) at 4:00. This is one I have not, but have really wanted to see since The Gentlemen's Guide to Midnite Cinema covered it way back. You'll get the gist of the film from the trailer, and it is a great trailer for what looks to be a great movie. Sundance will certainly due it justice, so I'll have to go with Shotgun Stories as my pick of the week! 

Second place pick of the week would have to go to IFC's showing of Right at Your Door (2007) at 4:45. Very low-key and almost as low budget, this is a movie that would fall under the genre of the Apocalypse! Set almost entirely in one home and over the course of a day or two, Right at Your Door is a solid post-911 character study about the many levels of fear and paranoia that could be faced at anytime due to attack. Great movie that uses imagination and Wellsian tactics very well, and anyone that is a fan of Pontypool, should definitely give this one a try.

That's all the guidance I can give you for this week, love. See ya next time!

Polishing a Turd

As you may have already noticed, I changed the look of the blog and quite drastically I must say. I have been wanting to do something different for a long time now (the brown blog never really worked, now did it?), so I took advantage of the new blogger design stuff to do so. I would love to hear feedback, if it looks fucking stupid, awesome, or is it difficult to read…blah, blah. I did try and go with a background as epic and powerful as the one who carries the beard, so I think I made a solid choice. BUT, if it is too distracting, please, let me know.