Wake up you sleepy heads…you can’t sleep all day because if you do, you will miss all the goodies than are in store for you today. You don’t have to get out of bed, up off the couch, or anything crazy like that - you can stay right where you are to enjoy today's events, because it’s time for The Horror Hangover! I got a great one for you today with a couple of very solid films that should make your cloudy day just a tad brighter. So go take your first of many draught beer dumps, get a couple glasses of water for rehydration, shut your ringer off, and cozy up while I give you the gift of guidance through this painful Hangover.
Starting off with a Monday to Friday bang, at 10:30 Snakes on a Plane (2006) is on FX. Not a great movie, but it is fun as all hell, not that all hell is fun I assume, but that’s not the point. Snakes is entertaining for what it is and it is a film that played very well in theaters with an audience of appreciative horror dorks. How will the film translate to cable? Just click on the monkey fighting clip below and that question will be answered.
At Noon, SyFy shows up very strong with The Crow (1994). Love The Crow and have very little to say about it besides it is a great way to spend an afternoon holding back vomit and trying to remember that girl or guy’s name that probably gave you gonorrhea from the night before.
At 3:00, you better be ready to protect ‘cause Kickboxer (1989) is playing on ION! I haven’t seen Kickboxer in a hundred years (which is odd since it came out in the 80’s), but I used to watch that and Bloodsport all the time when I was wee. Bloodsport always plays on cable (like ALWAYS!), but Kickboxer…not so much, which is too bad, ‘cause it’s awesome. Watching this great trailer brought back a flood of memories from the movie with some of the best fight training sequences eva! Love drunk Van Damme doing some Van Dammage to the dance floor when he gets cocked, then tricked into fighting those thugs! Pick of the week!
If Van Damme doesn’t tickle your pickle, also playing at 3:00 is Pitch Black (2000) on AMC. I think I am not alone in saying that Pitch Black is a very solid horror/action/sci fi film and makes for another very great choice during today's Hangover. Though, it’s no The Pacifier, but what exactly is?
And if Pitch Black ain’t yo thang, then 3:00 gives you yet another choice with Saw (2004) on SyFy. Not the biggest fan at all, but it is something I could probably sit through as the drool count lowers late in the afternoon during a hardcore Hangover. Cary Elwes’ acting certainly fits in perfectly with the standard SyFy movie fare at least.
Okay chalupa’s…I’m outta here like Doug. Hope you have a great Sunday free from any new burning sensations!
The LAMB does this fun little blogathon thingy called the LAMBs in the Director’s Chair, in which a specific director is put under the spotlight and any LAMB member can contribute in any way they see fit as long is it has to do with the directors overall work in film or a specific movie helmed. When they announced that the fifth director for the Directors Chair event was going to be Clint Eastwood, I was very ecstatic to say the least. Eastwood is a director that I adore and his filmography is filled with so many great movies, but there is only one that came immediately to mind when I thought about my own contribution.
1973’s High Plains Drifter is set in the town of Lago, and the townsfolk have a whole lot to worry about. They suffer from a dark past that haunts them for their greedy ways, and there’s a trio of gunslingers that are to be released from prison and will be looking to take revenge on the town that betrayed them and had them sent to jail. In rides a mysterious gunslinger only known as The Stranger (Eastwood), who seems to be just stopping by for a drink and some R&R.
The Stranger immediately makes his presences known when he is confronted by a couple of would be tough guys, whom he turns into human targets after they try to attack him. Seeing an opportunity to keep the three imprisoned gunslingers from coming back to seek vengeance on the town that did them wrong, the people of Lago talk The Stranger into helping them out with the issue. The Stranger, claiming not to be a gunfighter, only agrees when the townsfolk offer him anything he wants during his stay in Lago – all the food, drink, room and board, anything he wants and all for free.
Eastwood’s character is the definition of anti-hero and it comes across as clear as day in the matter of a few minutes. You root for him right from the get go when he is confronted by the men in the opening moments, but in the blink of an eye, he has his way with a woman in a way that shows he isn’t necessarily a good guy at all and he clearly has no concern for rules. His character goes much deeper than that though - the town does have a history involving a Marshal that was whipped to death by the three imprisoned gunslingers due to the people of Lago and their greed. For some reason The Stranger seems to be plagued, or connected to this tragic event, but why exactly is this?
High Plains Drifter is certainly a Western…on the surface, but it also has many elements of a supernatural Thriller in many ways. Eastwood was unsurprisingly influenced by Sergio Leone and Don Siegel, two directors he famously worked with on films very different from one another. The influence shows greatly in High Plains in that it is a Western in the classic sense, but the epic presence found in a Leone film is traded for what I would consider a gritty urban styled thriller more along the lines of Dirty Harry in how it is shot and the feel of the film. It is almost a meeting of the two genres and it makes for an interesting combination and one that works very well.
One big stand out that shows the two genre styles come together, is the superb music in the film done by Dee Barton. Right as the movie opens, you get a great and almost traditional Western tune that steers you to think that the movie will be a straight up Western. As the movie goes along and especially when the whipped to death Marshal first shows up (in the form of a dream via The Stranger), the music becomes very ominous and eerie. Even as High Plains movies along, the music gets even more dark and brooding, as does the movie itself and it almost reminds me of something that you might hear from Goblin even.
Eastwood still being somewhat green as a filmmaker at this time does a fantastic job with High Plains Drifter and the film looks great on all technical levels. Some of the best stuff in the film is the long panning shots of The Stranger as he’s walking or on horseback, going slowly from one place to another as the camera follows him patiently. As the inhabitants of Lago look on in curiosity, the only sound you hear is that of his spurs. Fantastic stuff. The entire ending is great looking too, with the set design and the how the town of Lago is turned into the town of Hell with a fresh coat of red paint – just for the purpose of putting fear into the hearts of the three bandits on their way to torture the townsfolk.
Eastwood is perfect as The Stranger and he does a great job portraying a character that would seem to be just another gunslinger, to his transformation to something more supernatural. In whatever form it is, whether it is a brother, the soul of the Marshal that was killed, The Crow, or whatever, The Stranger is clearly one that is sent to take vengeance on more than the three gunslingers that murdered the Marshal. He is awful and despicable to the people of Lago, but they deserve it and if he were sent to avenge the death of the slain Marshal, then he would have to make the townsfolk suffer as well since they are the ones responsible in the first place. And that plays into the end of the film heavily as he lets things unfold in a certain way, instead of taking care of it right away…he wants the town to pay for what they have done before he steps in.
High Plains Drifter is one of the best and most original takes on the Western genre and Eastwood really shows his mastery early in this one by going with something that is a little different stylistically. The ambiguity of what The Stranger is makes this a fascinating film and giving it a supernatural feel is a bold choice that pays off. I can only highly recommend this film and the slight supernatural aspect, mixed with the grittiness of the movie, makes it something that may be enjoyed by fans of horror as well as fans of Westerns.
Gabba Gabba Hey kids! Have I got a super duper song lined up for tonight’s edition of Freddy’s Friday Night Dance Party! A classic track from a band that should need no introduction…but I will introduce them anyway, it’s The Ramones with their fine contribution to horror, Pet Sematary!
Written by Daniel Rey and Dee Dee Ramone for the 1989 film adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary, the titular song would prove to be one of the bands most successful and would soon after appear on their album, Brain Drain. While it isn’t the most loved film ever, I actually like Pet Sematary and think it has a lot of solid qualities, but the title track by The Ramones is probably the best thing to come out of the Mary Lambert directed film.
I love The Ramones - their music is beyond influential and Pet Sematary is one of the best songs that they put out, so it’s pretty great that it was a decent success, especially since it can out so late in their career. I actually think the song may have been my introduction to The Ramones - I was already way into horror and around that time I was also getting into punk music and I remember always loving the Pet Sematary song. It is a little subdued and almost darker that most of their other work, but still, the song is incredibly catchy and the main chorus is slightly hokey, but great. Though, I don’t know exactly why Joey Ramone would fear being buried in a Pet Sematary…at least you’re surrounded by a ton of pussy.
Summer School is a 2006 independent film that is somewhat of an anthology film in that there are five different stories, but all five stories are bridged together by one main character and setting. Summer School’s setting is…summer school, of course, and the film follows Charles, a horror fan and internet movie reviewer, who after a marathon horror-movie session, succumbs to a series of terrifying dreams. Each nightmare is worse than the last and Charles begins to have trouble knowing what exactly is real, and what is not as he wakes up from one bad dream, only to be in another, even more frightening nightmare.
Summer School is written and directed by five different film school acquaintances that filled numerous roles behind and in front of the camera in this low-income $8K horror film. The directors include - Lance Hendrickson, Troy McCall, Mike P. Nelson, and Ben Trandem. Trandem, who also produced, wrote, edited, and even did the special FX, is the brainchild behind Summer School, which came about when he himself was actually in summer school. Being a fan of horror films, as one would guess, Trandem was bored out of his mind, so he created the character of Charles and the idea of having him be tortured by a series of five different nightmares during a day spent in summer school.
After this initial idea, Trandem got a bunch of film school classmates to come up with their own take on a favorite horror genre and make a fifteen-minute story out of it with Charles being the connector to each one. Each story itself is very simple, but varied from one another with genres touching on monsters, vampires, Nazi’s, Hill Billy rapists, Slasher films, and even the occult. There is nothing super original about most of the stories, but they are very short and to develop so much is a somewhat more difficult than with a full-length feature. It is the simplicity of these stories that almost makes Summer School kind of fun and is something that may be great for a younger horror fan. If I saw this at 14 or 15, I would have loved it for sure!
I didn’t necessarily love it, but I did really enjoyed Summer School and with the movie having its story limitations, it keeps such a quick pace that it isn’t much of an issue. Each dream is fast, fun, and directed with an individual style from each other. That is where the biggest positive comes from in this negative budget film, the movie is so well made and even with major budgetary restraints, it is impressively shot and looks almost as good as any well made film found in theaters with a budget of $45 million. It is shot in a way that looked very natural, with great camera placement and angles.
The overall films style was very tight too and there is a huge 70’s-80’s vibe and it is done quite well, especially at the very first few moments as Charles comes rollerblading into his empty class, to this music that you would hear in a video collage of New York hustle and bustle from an old ass Sesame Street episode (long sentence). Even the character of Charles has a slight retro look with a slightly moppy hairdo, a yellow t-shirt (‘cause yellow = 70’s to me), and swap the rollerblades for a brand new pair of roller-skates and the look is complete. It isn’t overpowering or obnoxious either and along with that, a film involving a horror fan, made for a low budget and it is not self-referential is such a nice break. Not once was there a line like “Guys! What would Bruce Campbell do in this situation?” or “This is just like a Carpenter movie!”
The supporting characters are all fine and a few of the youths are near typical of a low budget horror film, but they are all interesting enough. There are only a few supporting roles played by Tony D. Czech, Lance Hendrickson, Amy Cocchiarella, who would make up Charles’ two trouble maker friends and a love interest/crush. Charles, aka “up-Chuck” is played by Simon Wallace, who does a mostly solid job as the film’s driving character and he has a good enough look and quality to pull off the lead role. Some of the acting is pretty bad, however, to give a film that cost less than James Cameron’s cum rag would be slightly unfair. Clerks had some terrible acting too.
Summer School has very recently shown up on “the second coming of Christ,” or better also known as Netflix instant watch – so it can easily be seen that way and I think it is worth a look if you are a fan of fun independent horror films. Most of you know how I feel about the subject; support the little guys, especially when they are making some technically great films with almost no money.
Check out the Summer School website for more info and film credits for the movie and also, CNAMB club kid, Cortez the Killer did an awesome interview with the filmmakers over at Planet of Terror not too long ago. If you get a chance to check out the movie, please let me know your thoughts, just be sure to bring a hall pass with you.
1979’s Zombie Holocaust is a film that I have a bit of history with and one that brings back some nostalgic memories for me. Sometimes known as Zombie 3, but better known by myself for its U.S. release under the title Doctor Butcher M.D. - M.D. being short for MEDICAL DEVIANT, of course. It is a movie I had seen way back in 8th grade (yikes!), when a good friend and fellow horror fiend had told me about the film and all of its gory glory. This same friend had two VCRs (which back in 90-91 was rare and badass) and would tape every horror movie he rented from the almighty video store, including one Doctor Butcher M.D. So I saw it many many years ago and my memories of it were more that it was a big gory deal for my buddy and myself, but besides that, I couldn’t tell you much more about it.
Flash-forward to about a year ago when I was scoping out the used DVD scene at FYE, when I stumbled upon a cheap copy of Zombie Holocaust. Not knowing anything about its connection to Doctor Butcher beforehand, I was very delighted to read that it was the original Italian version of the film from my youth and one that I had not thought I would probably never see again. Plus, it was like $5 bucks, so that made it all the greater.
Like I said, my found memories are not so much of the movie itself (cause I barely remember it), but of the time in my life that it reminded me of. So I had no expectations in watching Zombie Holocaust outside of some cheap gore and poor dubbing. It is a clear cash in on the zombie craze as well as the popularity of cannibal films at the time and it takes a lot from Fulci’s classic Zombie (or Zombie 2) with some of the same locations, and even some footage from Zombie is used in Zombie Holocaust.
Directed by Marino Girolami and written by Fabrizio De Angelis and Romano Scandariato, Zombie Holocaust even has a story very similar to Zombie in that it starts of in “big city” New York and eventually ends up placing the characters on an expedition in a foreign land filled with many dangers. In New York, a doctor named Lori (Alexandra Delli Colli) discovers a cult of flesh eating, organ stealing foreigners. When the cannibals are caught in the act, they go crazy and proceed to take their own life. The only clue left behind is a symbol painted on the flesh eaters body, a symbol that kind of looks like a set of butt checks to be completely honest with you.
Lori meets up with another Doctor, Peter Chandler (played by Ian McCulloch who also appeared in Zombie), who organizes a mission to find out exactly what is happening with the organ stealing, which is apparently an epidemic that has been happening in more than just New York. Joined by a reporter named Susan (Sherry Buchanan) and Peters assistant, George (Peter O'Neal) the four head out on an expedition to the primitive island of Keto, which is where the butt check symbol stems from. This island inhabits many dangers, with one being the cannibalistic natives and the other being the zombies that are a result of the work done by the mad Dr. Obrero (Donald O'Brien), better known (to me) as, Dr. Butcher…MEDICAL DEVIANT! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! *Cough-cough*
Overall, the movie is poorly made, even for a cheap Exploitation rip-off of genres and films that were being done by better directors like Umbero Lenzi with his cannibal films and of course Fulci with Zombie. Zombie Holocaust is watchable and not the worst filmed movie ever, but in general, it’s near incompetent. There are dubbing issues, but that almost comes with the territory in any film of this type, so no need to harp on it. Even if the dubbing was good, however, it wouldn’t help with dialogue that is just poor to the point of humor at times.
Our characters are standard and very typical - and trying to make anyone believe that the ever so beautiful Alexandra Delli Colli character of Lori is more than eye candy, is as mad as DOCTOR BUTCHER! She has degrees in medicine and even has one in anthropology, which is just kind of funny since at no time does any sense of brilliance leave her lips…though, her clothes more than once leave them hips - and thankfully too.
Even though it isn’t a well-made movie, Zombie Holocaust is not a terrible film by any stretch – it’s not great, just more of a middle of the road one. The biggest issue that can arise with a movie of this nature (besides craftsmanship) is pacing and it’s surprisingly a well-paced movie with very little downtime. It movies along quickly and there is something always going on to keep the viewer entertained in one way or another. I mean, the movie has cannibals, zombies, nudity, and gore, so there is no excuse not to have something interesting to see every ten to fifteen minutes and the goods are delivered.
As far as the gruesome stuff goes, Zombie Holocaust lives up to its rep and my memories as the gore count is very high and most of the FX are executed and “fuck yeah!” inducing. There is a great booby trap scene when a character gets one of those beds of sharpened sticks sprung up onto his body, trapping him while the natives proceed to slit his throat and go to town on his tasty flesh. Then there’s an eye gouging of epic proportions that put quite the smile on my face. The cannibals provide most of the good stuff, not the zombies – in fact, the zombies are strangely not very prevalent in a movie that is titled Zombie Holocaust.
Though they aren’t in the film much, their impact on me is something worth mentioning. I do love that the zombie’s make grunting and moaning noises along the lines of something you would hear from a fourteen-year-old boys bedroom while reading one of his dad’s Hustlers. Even better, they look like old dog crap – like when it gets all brittle and white…they are very ashy zombies to say the least and Oil of Olay would make for a great Christmas present for these undead creatures if you ever decide to visit Keto (Kaelin?).
I actually really enjoyed the ending of this movie and some of the best stuff is with Dr. Obrero and his MEDICAL DEVIANCY! as he performs his mad brain surgery on the poor reporter, Susan. Pretty mean-spirited stuff and this scene was actually shot pretty well in a great ramshackle sort of cabin setting that was also a setting used in…you guessed it, Zombie! Even during these moments, Zombie Holocaust finds a way to once again steal from another film with some of the things that happen to Lori, being very reminiscent of things that happen to Ursula Andress character in the Sergio Martino film, The Mountain of the Cannibal God.
Messy and imperfect, Zombie Holocaust completely steals so many things from so many movies (that stole from so many others!) and has very few original qualities about it. However, this “thievery” makes for a fun mishmash of so many different types of Italian Exploitation films that it is hard not to enjoy for how much shit is thrown into the blender. Not every sip tastes great, but overall, I enjoyed my Zombie Holocaust smoothie and can recommend it to any one that is a fan of these genres.
Finally set in stone, the 8th and final film has been announced for the 4th annual After Dark Films Horrorfest 8 Films to Die For line-up. Written by Kelly Palmer and directed by Chris Moore, Kill Theory is about a group of seven college friends that celebrate their upcoming graduation at a secluded vacation home. Things take an ugly turn when the group encounter a sadistic unknown madman who forces them to kill one another in order to survive. Whomever is left standing at 6 am the next morning, is the one that is allowed to walk away with his or her life.
Sounds interesting enough to me and Kill Theory seems to have elements of Saw and even a bit of Cabin Fever and Battle Royal in a way. All of the After Dark Films acquired for the upcoming festival (which begins January 29th) have a lot of promise and I have already heard positive things about Lake Mungo, which is one that I really wanted to check out even before reading a few solid reviews.
Now that the movies are all in place, there is a tight little trailer for the festival and to be completely honest, it gets me pumped for this line-up and I have pretty high hopes for it. There have been some real gems in the previous three installments, but those gems were hidden in piles of mediocre-to-bad. I would love to see After Dark come out with a strong set of movies, if not for the fact that they are spotlighting independent horror cinema and giving films a chance that might not have gotten one any other way. And while I will more than likely not have any chance to see any of them ‘round these parts, at least I know there will be a DVD release soon enough.
When a non-foreign language trailer for Kill Theory is available, I will be sure to post it, but for now, here is the trailer for the festival itself. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the line-up’s potential and what you think looks good!
And in recent blog award’s news, the love orgy going down in the blogosphere is still going strong and Chuck Norris Ate My Baby has once again been invited into the pile of sweat and warming oils. Brittney-Jade aka BJ-C aka Don’t spell my name Brittany, of the lovely and vaginal Day of the Woman has created her own award for the blogs she loves to love and CNAMB was one of the blogs she named! The award is the Fantastically Frightening award and CNAMB won for The blog that has the best headers ever created. While I have put up such classic headers as Baby-butt Pumpkin and Scary Santa killer, my usual header showing Chuck Norris post baby dinner was created by Dylan of Paracinema Magazine and …The Blog fame, so I must not take all the credit.
There aren’t any real rules for this award outside of being able to give it to whomever I deem Fantastically Frightening, so anyone that gets this award here today from me need not do anything with it unless they want to. If you would like to pass it on to a deserving blog, please, feel free…just make sure that you know it is from the bottom of my heart, which is located somewhere near my Bass Pro-Shop. I am going to give this award to a few (of the many) of my favorite blogs and ones that I do not think already received it…I hope.
Deadly Doll’s House of Horror Nonsense – Emily takes one for the team all too often and she will watch some seriously bottom of the barrel stuff, just to bring funny and fair reviews. She has such a unique voice and it shows in her writings. I just love this woman’s taste!
I Like Horror Movies – Carl is the hardest working man in blog-business and he keeps things simple, fun, and there is always an abundance of awesome shit to check out at his site. He is the man.
Behind the Couch - James is one of the best writers on the block and he brings so much to his reviews that he can almost make a movie better than it is through his descriptions. Just read his review of H2…fantastic.
Dear Bastards - King Mob puts out an interesting and fun blog that is one part daily diary and two part’s movie and TV talk. He always has great stories that we can all relate to in a million different ways.
The Lightening Bug’s Layer - T.L. Bugg is just the king of it all…he reviews a multitude of genres covering all things cult and B-Movie and his knowledge is limitless. Any man that shows as much love to the great Klaus Kinski as he has, is more than okay in my book.
Assorted Loaf – Pickleloaf is a fresh voice in the blogging world and his theme months are very informative, insightful, and I can only imagine how much work they must be. To top it off, the dude is funny as shit and his always great screen captures he has for his reviews can cause me to make a little pee pee.
So there are my picks this time around…all of you winners are now proud owners of the chick with the great knockers and the luckiest Skelton hands ever( Actually, those hands looks very familiar? Skele-tone?)! So do what you see fit with it, just know that you all are the wind beneath my wings. Thanks to BJ-C for the love!
I also want to thank Rachel of Rach’s Media Opinions and Venom5 of Cool Ass Cinema for both being kind enough to pass on the Kreativ Blogger award to CNAMB. Check out both their blogs and tell them that Matt sent ya…for their babies!
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