Bounty Killer DVD Giveaway!

I have a nice little DVD giveaway to share you that involves the upcoming post-apocalyptic action film Bounty Killer. Much like the prize pack giveaway I did for The Purge a few months back, this one is very simple and the prize is pretty sweet. All you have to do is take the Could You be a Bounty Killer? quiz below, then post your results in the comments section to be entered into a random drawing to win a DVD copy of Bounty Killers. Easy peasy, right? I’ll give you guys until Thursday, September 12th to get your answers in, and I plan to announce the winner on Friday the 13th, because that sounds like the cool thing to do.

If you’ve never heard of Bounty Killer or aren’t exactly sure what it’s all about, then you can check out the trailer below to get an idea if it’s a movie that you might be interested in. I think it looks like it could be fun. More importantly, however, there are some sexy babes in there (I’m Loken at you, Kristanna), and we all know how much you like sexy babes, you sick pervert! Now quite tugging your rope* and take the quiz… we’re talking a free DVD here, brah!

*For those of you who do not have a rope to tug, then please consider this an apology. You’re still a pervert, though.

Dumpster Diving for Gold 666

It’s been far too long since I last did a proper Dumpster Diving for Gold video, but after an unacceptable hiatus, I am back with a brand new video filled with all sorts of dumpster worthy goodies to tickle your shriveled pickle! Take some time out of your day to watch me awkwardly ramble on about all my recent-ish finds, which include VHS tapes, DVDs, records, and all sorts of other wonderful things. Also, I refer to a movie as being “great-awesome,” so there’s that.

Guest Post: Why (Action) Matters

The ever incredible T.L. Bugg of The Lightning Bug’s Lair celebrated his FIVE YEAR (!) blog anniversary in August, and to help him celebrate such an incredible feat, he asked a bunch of awesome peeps (and myself) to take a defensive stance on specific genres of cinema. In what the Bugg has dubbed Why (Genre) Matters, myself and a bunch of passionate writers tackled topics and genres spanning everything from Trash Cinema and Westerns to Hitchcock and Horror Fandom. As for my topic, I got the opportunity to express why Action matters.

Now, while this seems like an easy A for someone who absolutely adores the action genre in ways that few can comprehend, this was sort of a difficult task for me at first. However, I found an angle that I think defends the genre in a way that expresses its depth as well as its importance in cinema. Though it very well could be a bunch of nonsense, but I’ll let you decide that for yourself.

Click here to read my post on Why (Action) Matters!

Also, be sure you take the time to check out all of the Why (Genre) Matters’ posts. There are some seriously wonderful people/writers involved, so I highly encourage you to dig into one of the coolest events the blogosphere has ever seen!

Click here to read all the posts on Why (Genre) Matters!

Before I sign off, I do want to take a moment to thank T.L. Bugg for asking me to take part in such a major event. Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to hang out with Bugg on a number of occasions, and he’s become someone who I consider a true friend. With that said, I want to wish him a happy five year anniversary, and I look forward to what the next five years bring us!

100 Ghosts: A Gallery of Harmless Haunts

When it comes to horror, nothing is more iconic than a ghost. From Slimer and Samara to Beetlejuice and Sam Wheat, a ghost can come in all shapes and sizes, but if there is one depiction of a ghost that is most recognizable, it is that of the white bed sheet with two eye holes cut into it. This ghostly image has been around for so long that it’s difficult to pinpoint when it began being used to frighten people, and to this day it is still one of the most prevalent pop culture icons associated with horror and Halloween alike.

This classic ghostly figure is the basis for 100 Ghosts: A Gallery of Harmless Haunts, a humorous and often delightful look at the versatility of the bed sheet ghost. Written and illustrated by Doogie Horner, 100 Ghosts takes the traditional bed sheet ghost and places it in various comedic situations. These range from a ‘Jellyfish’ ghost, which comes complete with little ghost like tendrils, to a one-eyed ‘Cyclops’ ghost.

100 Ghosts: A Gallery of Harmless Haunts is the perfect coffee table book for the coming Halloween season and could just as well find a nice home at the bedside of a young child. It’s charm is in its creative simplicity, and the wit that Horner injects into each and every one of these 100 ghosts makes the book enjoyable to spend as little or as much time with as the reader would like.

Here are a few examples of what you’ll find in 100 Ghosts:

100 Ghosts: A Gallery of Harmless Haunts VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

If these images are your cup of bed sheet covered tea, then 100 Ghosts: A Gallery of Harmless Haunts goes on sale September 10 from Quirk Books publishing. Furthermore, you can pre-order it right now for a very reasonable price of $8.96 over at Amazon.

Dreamaniac (1986): And She’s Killing Like She’s Never Killed Before

Steeped in ‘80s youth culture, David DeCoteau's début feature film, Dreamaniac, takes bits and pieces of all that was popular at the time, particularly heavy metal and the A Nightmare on Elm Street series. With a tagline such as "You don't have to live on Elm Street to have a Nightmare," it is clear that the target audience the film was aiming for was the Freddy crowd. In the same vein, this was a time when heavy metal was at its most popular (and most controversial), so the mixture was a no brainer for any cheap horror film looking to turn a few bucks. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you.

Despite the film's brilliant hybrid title and the promise of a female version of Freddy Krueger, Dreamaniac has very little-to-nothing to do with the dream world. In fact, the only time there is any actual dream sequence would be within the first five minutes where the audience is introduced to Adam (and his ass) and Lilly (re: The Succubus!), the women who Adam has been having sexually driven dreams about. After Lilly puts a kink in Adam's hose by killing him within this opening dream sequence, he wakes up, and this would be about the point where the dream portion of Dreamaniac ends. Maybe it should have been called Awakeiac.

Soon after the opening dream sequence, it is learned that Adam is a professional heavy metal lyrics writer (wait…what?) who is living on his own in a secluded area so he can focus on his work. Oh, and so he can privately focus on his satanic rituals, which he actually uses to bring Lilly out from his dreams and into the real world. To be honest, I'm really not sure why he does this. First off, Adam has a gorgeous girlfriend named Pat (Kim McKamyshe aka Ashlyn Gere!), which is actually a total surprise considering Adam’s style consists of a sleeveless Def leppard t-shirt, gold rimmed glasses, ripped jeans, and short (for a metal guy), blonde feathered hair. You know, the outfit of choice for most any kid who plays Dungeons & Dragons and kills small animals to feed their sexual urges.

Much of the film (well, all) is set in Adam's home, which is being used by Pat's sister to throw a party as a way to get into the good graces of a sorority she is trying to join. The partygoers consist of the usual hipster dweeb, the snotty - but oh-so entertaining - bitch, the lame-o jock, a valley girl, and every other stereotype you can imagine. These would all become the cattle for Dreamaniac's killer, Lilly (Sylvia Summers), as she works her way around the house using her powers of seduction to slay all of its inhabitants. This leads to what is a slew of sexually driven scenes filled with enough male tighty whiteys (and the butts behind them) to have granted a sponsorship from Fruit of the Loom. And with DeCoteau at the helm, it's not a surprise.

While Dreamaniac is filled with some hysterical dialogue (and I mean HYSTERICAL!), terrible music and bad acting, it is a film that tried to be more than just any old cheap ‘80s Slasher film. I've never seen or read anything to support this, but there seems to be a clear Italian influence as far as the film’s style goes. With liberal use of fog, colored gels and stilted camera angles to portray atmosphere, I couldn't help but think that people like Argento, Fulci and possibly Soavi were aesthetically very influential for DeCoteau. Granted, it's not anything to be impressed with, but I commend the attempt at creating a sense of style instead of simply mailing it in.

Released in 1986 by the long defunct and pre-Full Moon distribution company, Wizard Video (which fell under the Empire Pictures umbrella), Dreamaniac is one hell of a good time. Even if it doesn't deliver anything that it promises to, it's worth a watch for any fan of bad cinema looking for a quick chuckle. Furthermore, anyone who is interested in taking a deep look into the inner workings of a heavy metal songwriter will certainly be pleased with this one. Before I sign off, however, I feel I should mention that the VHS box art is simply wonderful, but what really shines most is the pure fact that the crazed looking Clint Howard look-alike is absolutely nowhere to be found in this film whatsoever. Like, not at all. That kind of tells you everything you need to know about Dreamaniac right there.

Who needs the trailer when you can watch the entire film?!

The Tao of BOLO!

Despite it being mid-August, I've already gotten a strong whiff of the upcoming Fall/Halloween season. Many stores have begun putting out their Fall gear, with some even having much of their Halloween items already on shelves. However, one of the biggest indicators that Halloween is on it's way comes in the form of our good friend Bolo, a gourd plant(s) that I started growing in my backyard about two seasons ago. During the last two Fall seasons, Bolo has given me and my slave woman a bounty of awesome gourds, but as you’ll soon see, this year things are certainly off to a very different start.

Here's a look at Bolo from exactly one year ago:

And below is Bolo right now. Same time of year but easily 80% bigger! I'm like mudda fuggin' Dr. Greenthumb and shit!

Based off past experience, Bolo will only get bigger, and chances are it will completely take over my entire home and eat me alive. And I'm okay with that, so long as it gifts me with many a gourd to decorate my house with this October.

Anyway, for those of you who would like to know more about the history of this beautiful creature (which is likely none of you), then click HERE for a look at Bolo past!

Blackbelt (1992): No Shirt Required

Ex-cop and master of the martial arts Jack Dillon (Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson) is forced out of retirement to help protect a beautiful singer named Shanna (Deirdre Imershein) from a crazed stalker, and master of the martial arts, John Sweet (Mathias Hues). Sweet - who rocks a sweet golden feathered semi-mullet - believes that Shanna is a woman he once had a sexual relationship with... his mother. Sweet isn’t the only one after Shanna, however, as she’s also in some hot water with the local mob because she refuses to renew her music contract, and seeing as her career is about to blow-up, they really want in on the action. That’s a lot of BS to deal with, but we are talking about Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson here, so I think it’s safe to assume that things are well under control.  

• B-Action Movie Fun Fact #1: You’ll never find flowers in a box of flowers. A gun? possibly. A severed human body part? Very likely.

Directed by Charles Philip Moore and Rick Jacobson, Blackbelt starts off with an awesome opening credit sequence that features the names of a number of martial arts actors and each of their individual competitive fighting accomplishments. I have to admit that it’s pretty cool seeing these real life fighters get some recognition for what they have done, something that I believe was important to Wilson. From there the film opens brilliantly with a scene that switches back and forth between Sweet kicking a ton of ass in a hotel room, while in another room, his date is stripping down to her sexy parts in anticipation of Sweet’s return. It’s the kind of imagery that’s pretty much the perfect way to open any movie. Unfortunately for the girl getting nekkid, however, Sweet is more interested in borrowing one of her fingers which he then sticks in a flower box to give to Shanna as a sign of affection. This event is what causes Shanna to, trepidatiously, go to Dillon for help.

• B-Action Movie Fun Fact # 2: If the lead character/hero walks into a bar, there will be an epic one-at-a-time bar fight.

  • B-Action Movie Sub-fun Fact: During a bar fight, no one is safe, especially wooden tables, beer bottles and pool sticks.

Something that immediately stands out about Blackbelt is the incredible fashion. For the most part, Jack Dillon’s style is simple, mostly consisting of a t-shirt tossed to the ground, a pair of jeans and a cowboy style boot. However, there is a moment early on when he’s shown training his martial arts’ students, and he’s just slaying bitches left and right in a black, acid wash denim karate gi top. Let me repeat that: a black, acid wash denim karate gi top. Then there’s the delectable Shanna, a rockin’ babe who can often be seen wearing any number of studded braziers. Though, it should be said that she is also a mid-drift mama of the highest order. And last, but certainly not least, there’s John Sweet, who is simply in a league of his own and must be seen to be believed.  

• B-Action Movie Fun Fact #3: There will be a warehouse shootout on the one day no one decided to come into work.

  • B-Action Movie Sub-fun Fact: Said warehouse will clearly be a leading producer of empty cardboard boxes and blue storage drums.

Blackbelt keeps a decent pace with some moderately fun action moments strewn throughout, but things really pick up in the third act, wherein you have a warehouse shootout, a multiple-baddie dojo fight, a car chase, and, of course, numerous shirtless/jean-clad fight scenes via Jack Dillon. Again, I have to reiterate how that dude simply does not want anything to do with a t-shirt. In fact, during one of the fight sequences, Jack tosses his shirt aside, takes a few dudes out, then instead of putting his shirt back on, simply throws on his brown bomber jacket for that open-chest sexy look.

• B-Action Movie Fun Fact #4: If there is a dojo, there will be a fight in that dojo, and that fight will consist of numerous thugs of various ethnicities, brandishing a slew of weapons and fashion choices.

The film wraps up with the eagerly awaited face off between Dillon and Sweet, and when the two are shown on screen together (with both being so extremely shirtless), it’s insane how massive the 6’5” Hues is in comparison to Wilson, who is no slouch himself at 6’1”. Overall, this end fight is as satisfying as one would hope for from a Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson flick, which is probably the perfect way to describe Blackblet as a whole. It features some highly entertaining, if not overly choreographed action scenes, there’s some questionable acting, namely from ‘The Dragon’, and of course the film features some silly fashion, all elements that one would expect and, more importantly, want from an early 90s B-Action movie starring Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson.

On a side note, can he ever not be referred to as ‘The Dragon’? Go ahead, try to say and/or type his first and last name without it. You will fail.