Baby Babble: Chopping the LAMB and Other Random Nonsense

 

*Burp* I seriously cannot believe it's been an entire month since I've posted anything. It's not like I don't have anything I could post, it's just that I'm weird, so stop looking at me like that, okay! I will be posting some shit soon, I promise, but for this moment in time I have a few things to go over with you, so sit back, relax and allow me to take you on a journey to the other side… of your mind!

First up, Jason of Invasion of the B-Movies and Nolahn of Barging Bin Review were kind enough to once again allow me to join them for an episode of The Lair of the Unwanted. In this awesome episode, we talk about the '80s killer robot masterpiece, Chopping Mall, and I also play The Game of the Unwanted, in which I had to put up my trivia dukes and show my knowledge of Mall stores as well as Wes Craven's Scream. We also did an off-the-cuff version of Ask the LAMB (which I will go over in a little more detail in just a sec.), so make sure you tune in, drop out and turn it up! Or however that saying goes.  

 

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Alright, as I mentioned in the last paragraph, there is this thing called Ask the LAMB, a somewhat new feature over at The Large Association of Movie Blogs that gives readers the opportunity to ask a handpicked ragtag group of LAMB members (myself included) a question. Generally the questions are movie related, and so far we've been hit up with some pretty interesting (and sometimes strange) inquiries, and the result is some even more interesting and often hysterical answers.

Here's the question I was lucky enough to tackle this time around: 

Yahoo! User #9 Asks:
I'm an aspiring director. I'm looking to shoot my own short film. I
have actors & a hotel room. Any ideas?

If you'd like to read my answer or submit a question of your own, head over to The LAMB for more!

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Last things last, though this is a case where last is certainly not least, I went an entire month without even mentioning Halloween on this blog, and I sort of did that on propose. You see, I kind of killed Halloween last year with getting way into it way too soon, and by the time the actual day had arrived, I was a little worn out. This is something that I thought could never happen. Now, there were other factors that played into this fatigue, but I didn't want to take the risk of letting something like that happen again, so I figured I'd take it nice and smooth, just the way you like it. 

Anyway, I cannot go on any longer without mentioning that Halloween is indeed on it's way, and with it comes the fourth annual celebration known as Chucktober! And while I have been keeping my Halloween and Chucktober excitement bottled up for the most part, don't think that it hasn't been on my mind for the past month, because it certainly has, and I am extremely excited! I've already begun putting some stuff together for what I hope will be the finest Chucktober yet, with some returning features, a handful of movie reviews and whatever other random shit pops up between now and "the big day." I know I'm looking forward to it, and I hope you do, too!  

Alrighty, I've already taken enough of your time up, so for now I shall leave you with this…

Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era

Every generation of horror fans has a specific era that they grew up with. Naturally there is a nice transitional overlap from what came before and after, but at the heart of it all there is about a decade of time that sits comfortably in the center of what each fan considers "the good ol' days." For me, personally, that time period would be the 1980s. Not only did I get the overlap of the mid-to-late '70s, but I also watched as horror evolved, and often devolved, into what might be the strangest (and most entertaining) time in horror cinema with the early 1990s. That entire time period from the mid-'70s to the mid-'90s is as gory good as it gets, and the main factor for it being such an awesome time for the genre is the bridge in between.

Horror boomed big time in the '80s, and there are a number of factors for this, most notably being the VHS format. VHS took film out of the cinemas and ushered in an era of home video that caused movie fans to go completely bananas, and at the forefront of it all was the horror genre. There was an evolution that genre cinema went through because of home video, and home video itself evolved due in large part to the popularity of genre cinema on the format. As a result, a very specific formula began to prove immensely successful (i.e. profitable) for "non-Hollywood" production companies. Video goers began to yearn for something specific from their rentals; they wanted blood and monsters; they wanted fun and entertainment; they wanted a pair of nice tits on a beautiful woman. And like a perfect storm, all of these things came together and combined to result in the birth of the Scream Queen era.

It is the almighty Scream Queen and the time in which they ruled that is the focus of 2011's Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era, a documentary that, as promises, looks at the rise and fall of a specific group of extremely popular genre actresses: Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer. Often considered some of most notable and certainly three of the most popular horror actresses of the era, "The Terrifying Trio" of Stevens, Bauer and Quigley made a major splash on the home video scene throughout the '80s and much of the '90s, completely changing the landscape of the role women played in low-budget horror. These were the women who went from being the faceless but very "healthy" background babes to being the main selling point of a slew of B-Movies in the '80s and early '90s.

Directed by Jason Paul Collum, Screaming in High Heels follows the typical talking head format that seems to be the gold standard for a majority of film related docs. Outside of the three Scream Queens and their generous insights, interviews come in the form of subject relevant film folk such as Fred Olen Ray, David DeCoteau, Kenneth J. Hall, and a handful of other people who were a part of the scene, all of whom deliver plenty of interesting stories and tidbits for the viewer to chew on. The doc runs the gamut of numerous interesting subjects that cover the era from start to finish, as each Scream Queen speaks of the incredible highs that came with their popularity as well as the negative effects that came along with doing the "types of films" the women were doing. Some of which has followed them up until this very day. The price of fame, I suppose.

For the record, I am a huge fan of film documentaries, particularly ones that are about specific genres or eras of cinema, and outside of the insightful interviews, the doc is chockfull of great movie clips, something that is often a highlight of any film documentary. Also enjoyable is seeing things like television appearances that the girls had made as well as the many ways in which they "busted" their way into pop culture.

Screaming in High Heels certainly delivers the goods by covering a lot of ground; however, while the doc is overall very satisfying, there are two problems that I have with it, one being the runtime (I like 'em long, baby!) and the other being the lack of a fanboy perspective. Now, when I say fanboy perspective, what I mean is Screaming in High Heels could have used some commentary from a celebrity horror fan like an Eli Roth, an Adam Green or whoever could step to the plate and bring that solid fanboy perspective that I, as a fan, can relate to. And in doing so, the runtime of just over 60 min would be stretched out a solid 15-20 min, making the doc's length less of a problem for me.

Regardless of these minor issues, I thoroughly enjoyed Screaming in High Heels: The Rise & Fall of the Scream Queen Era and have no qualms about recommending it to anyone who loves Scream Queens as well as anyone who enjoys this specific time in horror cinema.    

If you'd like to check out Screaming in High Heels for yourself, the horror cable network Chiller shows it from time-to-time, but if you want to see the unedited version, then Breaking Glass Pictures is releasing it on DVD on August 28th. And, depending on your sexual preference, you might want to see this one unedited. *cough-cough lots-of-boobs cough-cough!*

The Slaterocalypse is Upon Us…

Not too long ago the mighty Eric from the equally mighty Back online. Back on Duty. asked if I would participate in an event worthy of busting out the ol' Black Jack Gum and cracking open that pack of menthols I stole from the corner store. This event would come to be known as Slaterocalypse, a week long celebration dedicated to the films of the great, and when I say great, I mean great, Christian Slater.

Now, chances are that Eric doesn't have access to my memories, so he probably isn't aware of the fact that there was a time when I was pretty much obsessed with a few of Slater's films, specifically Gleaming the Cube and Pump Up the Volume. Both films are a great representation of the type of kid I was at the time in which they came out, and I watched both of these movies on a constant basis. In fact, there were times when I used to watch Pump Up the Volume as often as twice a day (usually smoking stolen cigs). That sounds pretty over the top now, but I was 13 at the time and the rebellious nature of the film filled a void that very few could.

Anyway, what I'm getting at here is it's very awesome that Eric decided to ask me to take part in a Christian Slater theme week, because he is an actor who did a handful of films that were quite influential on me as a youngster. Now, Pump Up the Volume naturally would have been my first choice to review as a part of Slaterocalypse, but it was already taken, unsurprisingly. However, of the options that were left, I think I fared well considering I was able to pick a film that I not only have always enjoyed but one that I actually bought on DVD recently and had been wanting to rewatch, and that is Lot 249 from Tales from the Darkside: The Movie.

So, why not take a moments to stop by Back online. Back on Duty. to check out my horror host approach to Lot 249, and while you're there, check out all the other Christian Slater goodness that has overtaken his blog with the force of 10,000 hail storms. I don't even know what that means, but it does sound pretty bad ass. Click here for all the action! 

Paracinema's Sweet 16!

Issue 16 of Paracinema Magazine has been unleashed onto the world, and from the looks of it, it appears as if they are taking no prisoners with an issue chockfull of awesome cinematic goodies for you to feast on!

Check out some of what's in store! 

"Images of Horror and Lust" in Ken Russell’s The Devils
by Samm Deighan

Flinging Lingerie at Police Cars with Lulu, Peaches and Darlene: The Fashionably
True Story of How Female Rebellion Launched the Assault of the Killer Bimbos
by Jonathan Plombon

Recovered Realities: Found Footage and Mockumentary Horror
by C. Rachel Katz

Rehabilitating Daddy, or How Disaster Movies say it’s OK to Trust Authority.
by Jon Towlson

The Films of René Laloux: Notes on the Golden Age of French Science Fiction
by Derek Godin

This Ain’t Hollywood XXX: The Cultural Significance of the Porn Parody
by Justin LaLiberty

Issue 16 also features articles from a few very good friends of CNAMB, including everyone's favorite "Bug," Zach, from The Lightning Bug's Lair as well as the one they call "Magic Man" aka James from Behind the Couch. Also, I think there might be a little something in there about a film called Tourist Trap from yours truly, but don't hold that against Paracinema!    

Issue 16 is days from being released into action, so be sure to head over and order yourself a copy right now! Yes, now!! http://paracinema.net/issue-16-june-2012/

32-bits of Terror: Nightmares (1983)

The segments found in Joseph Sargent's 1983 film Nightmares were originally intended to be aired as a part of the ABC horror series The Darkroom, but when they were deemed too intense for American audiences Universal Pictures released the four segments in theaters as an anthology film. Nightmares is one of those movies that, due to a mixture of late night cable and the wicked insomnia problem I suffered from as a young hustler, I have incredibly fond memories of. The funny thing though, is those fond memories aren't really for the film as a whole, as I honestly cannot remember any one of the four segments outside of one, and that comes from the film's second chapter:

The Bishop of Battle

The Bishop of Battle stars Emilio Estevez as J.J., a video game wiz whose life has become overtaken by a desire to get to level 13 of one of the most difficult games ever designed, The Bishop of Battle. J.J. is first introduced as he and his best buddy Zock (played by one Billy Jayne) are out hustling money from fellow gamers (aka over-the-top, stereotypical Mexican gangsters) in the hopes that J.J. can nab enough cash so he can afford a few rounds against the Bishop.     

After staying out a little too late trying to make it to the almighty level 13, J.J. goes home only to catch a bunch of shit from his parents who are royally peeved due to his sudden drop in grades and crummy attitude. Because parents are simply too stupid to understand the importance of video games over garbage like math and science, they ground J.J. for a week.

A week?!

Being grounded means very little to a guy like J.J., as his obsession is far too great to be oppressed by parental tyranny. As a result, and soon after his parents fall asleep, J.J. sneaks out and breaks into the arcade for an evening with the Bishop (this is starting to sound a little homosexual, no?).

In an intense battle between man and machine, J.J. does finally make it to level 13. However, as it turns out, level 13 isn't exactly what he expected, and the game world crosses over into the real world with devastating results.

Graphics: 7/10

One word: laZers. And lots of 'em. In the post Tron world of 1983, the old school optical effects in The Bishop of Battle are surprisingly solid for such a minor film. The 3D game graphics blend well with the real world surroundings, making J.J.'s battle with the Bishop as realistic as can be, considering the technology available for the time. Apparently, all of the game sequences were so costly that the production nearly went bankrupt. But hey, at least they put their money into the right segment, right?

Sound: 9/10

Nothing says high score like a soundtrack consisting of music from Fear and Black Flag. 'Nuff said.

Terrortainment: 8/10

It's your standard morality tale with a video game hook, but the briefness of the segment, which runs just under 30-minutes, makes for the perfect little horror snack when the belly aches for a slice of cheap, lean '80s horror. The video game scenes are as fun as they are nostalgic, and it's cool to look back on a time when arcades were as abundant as they were popular. 

Something that's always been one of my favorite things about The Bishop of Battle segment is Estevez, who is, as he was in most every film he starred in around this time, awesome. Actually, Estevez was one of my first favorite actors when I was a young buck, so it's pretty difficult for me not to love the segment, as his bratty character was one of many that I could relate to growing up.

Replay Value: 8/10

I've made it to level 13 many times throughout my youth, and I can very easily see myself revisiting the Bishop at least a few more times within my lifetime.

The 32-Bit Rating: 8

Alien Quadrilogy DVD Winner Redux!

So the OG winner of the Alien Quadrilogy DVD Giveaway never contacted me to claim his prize, leaving me with no other choice but to pick another name, which is exactly what I do in this video.

You know what, though… with a thumbnail like that one who cares who won this damn DVD giveaway, right?! Straight up kissy face at the camera and shit. MWAH! 

The Linnea Quigley/Kuato Mystery Has Been Solved! Sort of.

Following up with my last post in which I was more than certain that the one and only Linnea Quigley was briefly shown pulling the strings of America's Sweetheart himself, Kauto, in the behind the scenes featurette for the Paul Verhoeven classic, Total Recall, I believe I may have been able to nail down the answer to this incredible mystery.

Shortly after posting my findings, I emailed Miss Quigley in the hopes that this gripping saga might finally come to an end. And as luck would have it, she actually emailed me back, and fairly quick, too. In what was a genuinely sweet email, she stated that it's a very good possibility that she did do some puppeteering on Total Recall, but she doesn't recall for sure whether or not she did. She did mention that, while being married to Steve Johnson, she remembers doing some behind the scenes work, like puppeteer work and things of that nature, on films like Dead Heat (which is so awesome) and a few others, so it likely was her. 

So there you have it… while the answer is not 100% definitive, I think it's safe to say that yes, Linnea Quigley did pull da strings on the Kuato puppet in Total Recall, and for now I can put this fascinating mystery to rest.

*I'm a Windows Paint master!*