In honor of the far too long awaited DVD release of Best Worst Movie, a documentary chronicling the enigma that is only known as Troll 2, I shall dedicate this dance party to one of my many favorite moments from the greatest of sequels. Very few can truly grasp what it means to be dope, but one person I know of does it like very few can even conceive of, and that would of course be the incredibly talented, Holly Waits. She's got the look, the moves, the sass and everything in-between to make her a true Freddy's Friday Night Dancing Queen. So without further ado, lets pop in that Memorex cassette tape and let Holly do what she does best, outside of bodybuilding and keeping boys at bay, of course.
It's probably the quickest dance party of all time, but Holly's spoken word in the second half is something I liken to a form of freestyle rap, and when she spits, she spits venom. It's like Def Poetry Jam but with a fine ass white chick in a Garfield nightgown. Elliot Cooper, you have no clue what you're missing out on with this one. While you're off laying in bed with some dude you call "a friend," Holly is all alone, only to find the time to hone her "I'm one banging broad" skills with precision. Seriously, do you think that mirror reminisces every day about the moment that Holly stood in front of it? Like, I can totally imagine it gets really sad knowing that such a talent will never be displayed on it's reflective surface ever again. This one's to you, Holly Waits, for you bring it unlike no other, and for that, we thank you.
I've had a fair share of roommates in my life, and I believe that anyone that has ever lived with someone else (even good friends or family) knows it can be difficult to do at times, especially when your roommate and yourself are completely different from one another. 2002's 2LDK (which is Japanese apartment lingo for two bedrooms with a combined living room, dining room and kitchen area, not the name of some hot new boy-band. I know, too bad.) takes a very close look at Nozomi and Rana (Eiko Koike and Maho Nonami), two roommates who are from opposite ends of the Earth when it comes to personality, upbringing and how they carry themselves socially.
Nozomi is a bit of a prissy little miss goody two shoes, while Rana is more of bad girl with a skankier edge to her. Both women have one thing in common, though, which is each of them are aspiring actresses, and the only reason they even live together in the first place is due to their agency putting them up for free in the same gorgeous apartment. While there is no mention as to how long they have lived together, it would seem as if it hasn't been very long, but it's been long enough for them to find those little annoyances with one another. Annoyances that can build up over time.
Early on it is learned that Nozomi and Rana are both vying for the same career changing part in a major movie, Yakuza Wives. Everything start off casually, with their conversation being somewhat cordial on the surface, but what each girl is thinking is done so with a hysterically rude voice over so the audience can hear just what their thoughts actually are. Almost as if they are having a mental and verbal conversation. Even with the faux kind exterior, they speak to each other with this passive-aggressive tone making it obvious that they both dislike one another, they just refrain from saying it aloud. At first.
As the two females interact with one another, their discontent slowly bubbles to the surface throughout the span of the evening. Little conflicts arise, jabs are thrown, jealously begins to cut deeper - especially with both hoping to land the same film role – and the pleasant filter quickly begins to dissipate. Eventually, things start to spiral out of control as one little thing like used shampoo without asking turns into all out chaos over the scant 70-minute runtime. In this short amount of time, these two girls do to one another what many a roommate would love to do to their respective space sharer (and then some), or to any one that you cannot stand but are forced to deal with on a regular basis. I'll keep the details to myself as to not ruin any of the fun.
Directed by Yukihiko Tsutsumi, 2LDK is a part of the Duel Project, in which producer Shinya Kawai challenged both Tsutsumi and director Ryuhei Kitamura (whose respective half of the project is titled Aragami) to see who can direct a better feature length film using only one set, minimal characters and all of it being done within a week’s time. The common theme of both films: A battle (or Duel) to the death, naturally.
Now, this is an idea that can breed creativity in the face of difficulty, forcing established directors to use their imaginations to overcome the extreme limitations. This is a challenge that must be risen to for egotistical as well as personal artistic reasons, and Tsutsumi certainly does so with 2LDK. This film is the definition of entertainment, a film that skewers human dynamics, specifically those of incredibly sensitive and spiteful women (the BEST kind!), and it is done in a way that it is just simply hysterical at times. Much of the interactions between Nozomi and Rana are funny because they are true. Well, true to a point, of course, as the film does go from 0-60 mph with 60 being somewhat over-the-top in true Japanese form. However, by that point in the movie, over-the-top is the only way to go.
Both actresses are fantastic, playing off each other perfectly, almost like a demented version of Felix Ungar and Oscar Madison. They are forced to physically face one another in a slew of ways, and both handle it quite well, but the bread and butter is the lead up to the eruption of anarchy. Watching these two go at it in the snarkiest of ways is simply enjoyable. No matter how well made the film is, especially considering the limitations, it is the actresses and how their character's interact with each other - as well as the quirky but darkly spot on sense of humor - that make 2LDK one of the most enjoyable films I have seen in a while.
Well, that may be a bit of a stretch but there is an all new Paracinema website that can be found, and I do have a review of the true crime documentary, Cropsey, posted there, so that's close enough I suppose. Make sure to stop by and read my review, but also make sure to take in all the glory of this fine new site where you will be spending your nights and weekends taking in all the cinematic magic that will be showered upon you!
Holy hangover, Batman, it's The Horror Hangover. Sorry, that's a lame ass way to start off a post. You deserve better than that. You deserve better because it is you that suffers from the horrors you have put your body through in the past 24 hours. It's not even so much you that has caused this as much as it is the disturbing amount of alcohol that made its way down your throat, the 3 packs of Parliament Ultras that you smoked and the dirty person you poked afterwards. It happens. So let's start over again…My name is Matt, and I would like you to take a load off after your rough evening and enjoy, The Horror Hangover. Presented by Stayfree.
We'll kick this bitch off over at SyFy for a triple thrash threat of incredible special effects and story lines, starting at 11:00 with Cyclops, a film about a Cyclops. Following Cyclops, SyFy spins a web of mystery and suspense with Ice Spiders at 1:00. I've seen Ice Spiders and it is terrible, sure, but it's also pretty fun, so in the pantheon of SyFy films, Ice Spiders is a go in my book. Keeping with the mutated animal theme, SyFy shows a movie that I actually have been wanting to see for some time now (I'm serious), and that's Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus at 3:00.
Speaking of sharks, AMC is showing Deep Blue Sea at 3:30. Now, I hate and have a Deep (blue) SEAded fear of sharks. Like, it's really bad. However, I love Deep Blue Sea and think it's simply a fun giant monster movie made in the truest of B-Movie fashions. Even though I have seen it quite a few times, I am still such a pus about sharks that I shudder at the idea of watching the movie and seeing one of those disgusting assholes open their mouth. So it's all you.
Ending the day, we head over to TNT for a back-to-back does of Tarantino's Kill Bill films, starting at 3:00 with Kill Bill: Vol. 1, with Vol. 2 immediately afterwards at 5:15. Funny enough, as I am writing this, Vol. 2 is on TNT, and I just watched the trailer fight scene between The Bride and Elle Driver. I couldn't resist. Love both the Kill Bill films, especially the first one, so my recommendation is a no-brainer. If you don't have time to watch the films, take a minute and watch the whole bloody affair below.
You know, I have done more than my fair share of dance parties in my time here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and rarely have I found myself speechless due to a video. I can almost always drum up something snarky or semi-witty to say about whatever disaster-piece that crosses my path. Then along came Vortex, a Dutch metal band that came jumping from out of nowhere, studded leather and all, right into my life and my heart. Like I said, I'm speechless, so why don't I stop yapping and let the lords of metal take over this show…
I can probably just retire from throwing Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party and simply repost this video every week. I mean, where do I go from here? What's going to trump this one? Nothing. Nothing trumps a dude with fangs that's wearing a cape, a studded headband and who sings beautifully into a fucking tibia. Or at least I think that's a tibia, but you know, I ain't no doctor, so what do I know about anything that isn't hot beat related. This shit is like the metal equivalent of Jan Terri, only with slightly higher production values and better hair. It's incredible and also quite riveting, and I would like to thank Vortex for Opening the Gate in the name of metal, with metal. If they didn't do it, who would?
Well, for this year that is. I hope everyone had a fun Halloween out there in the internet. I had one of the better ones I've had in quite some time. Last year was a bit of a bust, but this year I got my fill of tricks and treats to make me more than happy. There wasn't much to do in terms of haunted house and things of that nature, unfortunately, but as opposed to last year, we did make it to a pretty great haunted trail which proved to be a good time. It doesn't take much to make me happy when it comes to that kind of stuff to be honest.
Something else we missed out on last year was trick or treating, due to the fact that they did it on a day that wasn't Halloween (like seriously?). This year they thankfully did, and we were ready with candy treats for the massive amount of kids that came by our place. We must have had like 50 some odd ghouls and ghouletts come by, and there is nothing better than seeing their reaction to my special doormat that makes spooky sounds when stepped on. Shit was priceless. Even if they were trick or treating in the day time, it still was a wonderful sight to see so many kids out there doing their thing. It certainly was a highlight of my day.
This also turned out to be a year where I actually came up with a costume, something I usually put off until the last minute, in which I end up just throwing some latex on my face making myself into a quick, but always decent looking, zombie, or wearing my Michael Myers' jumpsuit with a creepy rapist mask of some sort. This year as my main squeeze and I were trying to come up with ideas while at the costume shop, we stumbled upon a wig that basically made our decision as to what we would go as this year.
Yeah, we started off as Slash and Axl but, by the end of the evening, turned into drunk and hammered, which is kind of fitting. It happens, especially when you're barhopping on a school bus filled with forty or so party animals. It led to a supremely hungover Halloween day, but it was totally worth it.
What really topped the Halloween season off was certainly the series premier of The Walking Dead. I mean, wow. Much better than I could have hoped for, and outside of some CGI blood (which I can certainly overlook in the big scheme), the show is off to a wonderful start, and I cannot believe the amazing zombie make-up (but I guess can with Nicotero involved), as well as the amount of violence that is shown. Kudos is in order for AMC and everyone involved, and I can only imagine how great this show will be as we become immersed in the lives of the characters surviving the apocalypse. A fucking plus.
With Halloween passing on by comes the end of Chucktober. It was a busy but fun month here at CNAMB and as it turns out, it was the busiest month by far the blog has ever seen as far as traffic goes, so that is very awesome that people were stopping by and checking out the crap I have to say. It'll be nice to be able to get back to something a little more normal, and I do have a handful of films that I wanted to review for this month that I simply just didn't have time to in October. Now I can finally get to them before my memory fades as to what I liked or disliked about them. I will try and hit up a few different genres, especially after being all horror all the time, I need to break things up a bit.
So yeah, this has turned out to be a solid season of the witch, and I hope the same went for all of you out there. Thanks to everyone that stopped by and made Chucktober a part of their day, and now I'm off to start putting away the decorations until next year.
The time is finally here, tonight is the night where everyone can be a little more evil than they normally are, a night where all hell is free to reign its sinful ways through the most innocent of people. This is the night where the freaks DO come out, and they come out in droves to dance and celebrate with pizzazz. This is a night when even the hideous can cover up and become attractive, a night where the beautiful can disfigure themselves and become frightening, a night where we can all become something other than what we are. It's All Hallow's Eve, or, All Hallow's Evil if you are looking to have a little fun with things, and that's what we are here to do tonight in this special Halloween edition of Freddy's (not quite) Friday Night Dance Party!
Tonight's special dance of the dead is brought to us by the 1985 made for television Halloween treat, The Midnight Hour. The song, Get Dead (which is often mistakenly referred to as I'm Dead, You're Dying), is performed by one of the film's stars, Shari Belafonte-Harper, who would also be the sassy little vixen giving us this fantastical performance we have here.
While I do own what I believe is an unopened VHS copy of The Midnight Hour (it's in one of many boxes of VHS tapes I have), I have not seen it since it played on television in the 80s. It's clearly a fun film based off of this clip, and I remember it being so, but I also recall it being pretty scary for a made for TV movie that played on ABC, particular the graveyard scene where the creatures rise from their graves. I know Anchor Bay released the movie on DVD some time after the VHS had come out in '99, but The Midnight Hour seems to be pretty rare and just as under known, or at least under mentioned. It's a shame that it isn't played on TV every year during Halloween, but I think I may have to do a little digging to see if I can find it and take another long overdue look at it.
Either way, I hope you all are having a great Halloween, and I hope the spooky filled day has spilt over into an equally spooky night with plenty of haunts to remind you why Halloween is truly the best time of the year!
