No matter how many times I had heard great things about the 2006 Canadian zombie film, Fido, I still, for whatever reason fronted on it. Finally sitting down to watch it recently, I found myself far from disappointed, and while there are many ways to handle a horror comedy, Fido does so with the sharpest of wit and a double dash of social commentary, avoiding the over-the-top route that many of the genre seem to take.
Directed by Andrew Currie, Fido is set sometime in the 50's where - due to some cosmic space dust the Earth passed through - all of the dead have come back to life, fittingly, with a taste for human flesh. A massive war against the zombies ensued and with the end of that war came the birth of ZomCom (short for Zombie Comedy?), a government funded corporation that found a way to domesticate the living dead so they could be used as servants. Special collars were created to control the zombies, and every household in America has one of their own. These tamed un-dead do everything from laundry and mowing the lawn, to even being used for tasks like delivering the newspaper and working as crossing guards for school children.
Fido focuses on the Robinson's, a seemingly normal family consisting of Bill, his wife Helen and their son, Timmy. While they seem as normal as anyone else does in their perfect little suburb, they lack one thing, a zombie. This is something of an embarrassment for Helen, as it's all about appearance in their snotty neighborhood and being without a zombie is less than the best. Due to a childhood trauma during the "Zombie Wars," (as they're referred to) Bill has always been against getting a zombie, but to fit in with the rest of their neighbors, Helen gets one anyways and Bill begrudgingly goes along with it.
Timmy Robinson, who is sort of a loner and is picked on by his peers, befriends the zombie when he saves Timmy from some bullies. Timmy aptly names his new best friend and pet, Fido, and they form a strong bond much like a boy and his dog would. However, when Fido's control collar malfunctions, he eats one of the neighbors, resulting in a small zombie outbreak and the possibility of the Robinson's being held accountable and being sent to the forbidden zone by the ZomCom corporation. If you can't tell by the name, the forbidden zone is bad news.
Fido relies less on outrageous jokes and goes for the comedy jugular in a much smarter and more subtle way. While there are some very funny moments, Fido is not a laugh riot, but more of a cleverly thought out comedy with a heavy splash of satire on American culture. There's peer pressure to be like everyone else as seen with Helen feeling the need to own a zombie like her neighbors as well as Timmy being bullied for, essentially, not supporting ZomCom. There are moral questions about the enslavement of these flesh eating creatures for personal use and whether or not they really are nothing more than just monsters, or is it fear projected on society that makes these zombie more monstrous than they might be. Are the zombies a product of fear themselves and they react violently due to how the human population reacts to them? With this situation also comes the subject of racism with the zombies taking the place of minorities in this perfect little white bread American setting.
Many of these social issues are as fitting then as they are even in our modern times. Setting the film in the 50's works as that is a time when America is perceived as cookie cutter and easily influenced with the use of fear tactics (Fido fittingly starts off with a propaganda film about the zombies, which is shown to kids in school). It's a perfect contrast to the world we live in today and while some would look back on that time and think how ignorant people were, really, nothing much has changed outside of the country being more cynical and somewhat more informed due to technology. More informed doesn't equate to less ignorant, however.
The 50's setting is perfectly captured and the look of Fido is spot on to that time period but through the eyes of a TV sitcom as opposed to real life. There are great little touches like the edges of the movie being slightly rounded, to make it look as if it's playing on an old styled television or the clearly fake background when characters are driving their cars. There are many elements that are akin to an episode of Lassie, complete with "Timmy" asking Fido to go and find help when stuck in a bad situation. Funny enough, instead of barking to get help, Fido growls and grunts.
All of the portrayals are fantastic with a great cast that consists of Dylan Baker, Carrie-Anne Moss, and K'Sun Ray making up the Robinson's and Billy Connolly playing the titular role of Fido. Carrie-Anne Moss actually stood out the most, as I would never had pictured her being able to play the role of 50's housewife, but she pulls it off incredibly and looks quite nice doing so, which was an even bigger surprise.
Fido is not an in your face comedy like Zombieland, or even to an extant, Shaun of the Dead. With it's setting and how the humor is handled, it is more along the lines of the Tim Burton classic, Edward Scissorhands, than anything else. Even with all of the social commentary throughout the film, it never feels forced, instead, it comes to the viewer naturally during the movie and when further thought is provoked. Even in the oversaturated zombie and horror comedy markets, Fido finds a way to breathe some fresh air into both genres, and I can only suggest you take a whiff of these un-dead flowers for yourself.
After much deliberation and difficult whittling down of posts, in the end, it was a toss of the dart that made the final decisions for the winners of the Chuck Norris Ate My Blog Contest. It was just way too difficult to pick which post was better than the next, because each of the posts were simply great, and even more so, there was a lot of versatility in them as well as the writers that wrote them.
So without any further ado, I present the winners…
Congrats to you both and you each shall receive a copy of the Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper game for XBOX 360 as well as a copy of the Gorehouse Greats Collection!
A huge congratulations to Stacia, who has won herself all of these prizes!
There you have it, three very deserving blogs that put some quality Chuck in their posts. Each of the winners can email me their addresses so I can send out the prizes as soon as I feel like. Thanks again to everyone that took part in this historic event, it would have been nothing without your contributions. I really do wish you all could have won, but in a way you did, because I now love you and forever will you be safe in my home in case the apocalypse should begin. That's a promise.
If it's Sunday afternoon, than it must mean that you are this close to puking up tequila, $1 draught beer and that rooty tooty fresh 'n fruity from the night before. Luckily for you, Sunday afternoon also means it's time for The Horror Hangover!
Nothing quite says next level in fear like a Children of the Corn sequel, and that is exactly what SyFy is starting us out with this week when Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001) reveals itself at 10:00. It's the seventh and last film in the franchise (if you don't count the remake), and this time the corn is going urban when a woman finds that here apartment complex is built on the old stomping ground of the OG children of the corn. You gotta love how this trailer pimps so hard the fact that Stephen King wrote the original story that this film is based on, intercut with shots of some hot chick taking a bubble bath. Class.
Speaking of class, at 10:15, Strangers On A Train (1951) pulls in for a stop at Turner Classic Movies. Strangers is such a great film and definitely a must see for any genre fan that has not seen it already. Fantastic performances, ahead of it's time and completely inventive visuals, and a great story based off Throw Mama from the Train. It's so weird how that came out after Strangers, though. It's classic Alfred Hitchock and will be treated as such on TCM, and this may be one of the best ways to watch this film, therefore, it gets my pick of the week!
Taking a nose dive in the quality department, SyFy is showing Cold Creek Manor (2003) at noon. I actually saw this movie, but it was on TV I think, and I can't really remember much about it, probably because there was nothing worth those precious brain cells of mine. I can guarantee you this, there will be mystery, suspense and lots of boredom with this one.
In something that rubbed me as odd, at 1:30 a film titled Stick It is on ABC Family. Now, I am not sure what's going on over at this "family channel," but if I am being asked to stick it, then I shall happily oblige, but should the whole family be watching this "sticking?" I'm fine with grandma, but the kids seem a little out of place, don't cha think?
At 2:00, Lifetime Movie Network outdoes itself by showing The Return (2006), a movie that I would possibly watch, and not for a few overly dramatic laughs either. Not that I would guess it's good, but it doesn't look totally terrible either, and I don't mind me a little Sarah Michelle Gellar in the afternoon, let alone anytime for that matter.
And our day comes to a close at 2:30 with a film that got the shaft worse than Armando Galarraga, Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005) on SyFy. I actually never saw either of the Exorcist prequels that were made, but how crazy is it that all of that happened? If you don't know the history, this film was made as a prequel to the Exorcist, but the studio got cold feet and thought the movie wouldn't be well received by modern audiences with a taste for Saw. So to spice things up, they fired director Paul Schrader and hired Renny Harlin, to do a little Richard Lester inspired retooling, resulting in Exorcist: The Beginning.
Either way, it blew up in their faces and the Harlin film did terrible and they ended up releasing the Schrader version sometime afterwards. but by that point, no one was spending any more cash on another Exorcist prequel nor did anyone really care. At some point in my life, I would love to watch both films to see how different they are from each other. Still, I am sure the history is much more interesting than either of the movies.
That does it for this Sunday kiddies, hope to see you next week, same drunk time, same drunk channel.
Hey, hey, hey, it's Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!
And I'm gonna play a song for you…
It's a bit of an embarrassment for me not you…
You'll have some fun now, as I make jokes about my wang…
Learning from each other, while we do our thang…
Na, na, na, gonna have a dance party, with Fre-e-ddy!
Sorry, I think I got carried away there for a second with the Fat Albert thing. Speaking of Fat Albert, I wonder if there was ever a porno version called Prince Albert? If not, there should be.
Anyways, if you paid attention to my dope lyrics, I mentioned that I have a bit of an embarrassing dance party track for tonight. I am a wicked music snob and pretty much hate most modern commercial music. I like some current bands, but they are few and far between, and none of them are played on the radio from what I know. However, once in a blue moon a song infiltrates my better judgment, and I find myself liking something that I probably shouldn't…a guilty pleasure if you will. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen, and that would be the case with tonight's tune, Snakes on a Plane (Bring It!).
Ah yes, Snakes on a Plane, the 2006 phenomena starring Samuel L. Jackson, an airplane, a whole bunch of snakes and a ridiculous plot. Ridiculous, yes but an entertaining plot nonetheless, and as outrageous as the idea of snakes attacking people on an airplane is, the film became a pop culture sensation, transcending B-Movie status. Everyone seemed to be fascinated by it, but not enough to actually go and see the film in theaters based off the poor box office numbers it received. I personally had one of the best theatrical experiences with Snakes on a Plane, but it was definitely due to the right movie, the right mood and the right group of friends. A few beers might have been involved too, but what's that have to do with anything?
Snakes on a Plane (Bring It!) was the debut single from Cobra Starship and appeared on the bands first album, While the City Sleeps, We Rule the Streets as well as the Snakes OST. The song has a slew of guest appearances, which would almost ensure that it would be successful, and I always kind of thought Cobra Starship was formed for this one song in particular. I mean, their name is Cobra Starship and their first song is Snakes on a Plane (Bring It!)? Seems a little odd. Even odder is the (Bring It!) portion of the songs title…seriously? (Bring What?) Like, do they want the snakes to (Bring It!)? If so, that is a losing battle unless they have Sam on their side, and I bet he only helps out the white chick, who is pretty hot in a coke head sort of way. Betcha he lands his snake in her cockpit in that scenario.
Here it is folks, every single one of the posts and entries into the Chuck Norris Ate My Blog Contest Blogathon, all in one neat and tidy package for you to enjoy. There are quite a few links here, but it would be wicked rad if each of you try and check out as many of these as you can, if you already haven't read them of course.
There is nothing short of greatness from every one of these posts, and making the decisions on who is going to win will not be too easy for my impartial secret judge and especially myself. I have a feeling a hat may need to be involved at some point. Good luck to you all!
If I missed anyone, or if any of the links do not work properly, please, feel free to punch my neck really hard, therefore I will fix it with the quickness.
That there is a fancy way of saying done, finished, it's all over. Of course, I would be referring to the wonderful Blogathon known as the Chuck Norris Ate My Blog Contest. I put my contribution up only ten minutes before the "deadline," even though I wrote it at the beginning of the week…I'm such a goof, aren't I? Luckily, mine doesn't count, or I would have won all three prize packs, but that might constitute as cheating? Anyways, I received a nice amount of submissions, which I will be sorting through and posting links to all of them here in a monster-mega-post very very soon. Shortly after that, my unbiased secret judge will be helping with picking the winners, which will be announced by the end of this week. Probably.
I have gotten more than enough submission to keep me from having even been able to read them all still, which is a great thing, so I will be playing a whole lot of catch up in the following days, while trying to keep up with my meditation and Kung-Fu exercises. I'm sure I will do this more than once, but I really want to thank everyone that took the time to write something for this bearded cause. Heck, some people even wrote multiple posts, which is nothing short of awesome if I do say so myself. So thanks again. You all are true baby eaters. Now, watch this clip until you get tired of it. Oh wait, you never will.
Ever wonder how Chuck Norris is able to throw down dope kicks to foolish suckers while wearing jeans tighter than a Chinese foot binding? It wasn't always easy for the blonde black belt, and for many horrendous years, Chuck suffered from embarrassing crotch rips, shortened kicks and a lack of confidence. Not to be one to take that crap lying down, on a bed of nails, Norris took matters into his own beard and created Action Jeans.
Chuck Norris Action Jeans, made for a man, by a man, these multipurpose Karate-kick jeans are each individually handcrafted by forging steel, human dreams, and a chest hair from Chuck himself, in every pair. As you can see from these lovely adverts, Chuck got his swagger back, he became one with his jean and this gave him the opportunity to create the Norris look, which consisted of bad ass, a form of facial hair, cowboy boots (made of human skin, naturally) and of course, a size too small pair of Action Jeans.
This next one should just probably say: If you have a huge cock, like Chuck Norris, go with the Action Designer jeans! Look at his smile (and the close-up cock shot) and you know it's true.
