The Horror Hangover

After a whack ass schedule last week, this Sunday gives us a line-up worthy of even the most ferocious of hangovers. So if you're feeling the aches and pains of an evening gone drunk, then let me protect you from the pain of having to figure out what is on this afternoon, so you can focus on erasing the memories of who you almost boned last night. 

We'll start our day off with a SyFy animals gone wild, mutated, or whatever scientifically plausible excuse used that makes them eat people, or each other, blowout! First up is Dinocroc (2004) at 9:00, a movie that realizes crocodiles just aren't scary enough on their own, so it may be best to add a little dinosaur in there to spice things up. Funny, aren't crocodiles kind of like dinosaurs? We got any herpetologists reading? If so, maybe you can help with the 11:00 film, Snakehead Terror (2004), about a fish bigger than Shaq with a snake's head for a ummm…head, naturally. Following Snakehead Terror, SyFy then gives us a double dose of my favorite movie monster, the shark, with Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) at 1:00 and Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus (2009) swimming closely behind at 3:00.

Oh, is that SyFy gold not good enough for you? Fine, going back to 10:00, TBS brings the pain with the film that made Jackie Chan a household name, Rumble in the Bronx (1994). It's not one of his best films, and while it's no Super Cop or Drunken Master, Rumble is a blast and fun for a million and one reasons. One of them not being that annoying asshole kid in the wheelchair who cannot stop complaining about his cushion. Seriously, that little prick almost gives Franklin from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a roll for his money when it comes to most annoying character of all time.

Things don't slow down after that, though, when AMC keeps the Asian action coming with, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (1993) at 12:00. Great biopic about a man beyond any praise I am capable of. Jason Scott Lee (who I loved in Mallrats) plays Bruce Lee wonderfully, and even though I have seen this film many times, I can always leave it on and watch it at any point when it plays on television.  

Immediately following Dragon, AMC gives us our final film this afternoon with the tough guy classic, Above the Law (1988) at 2:30. A salt and peppered Henry Silva vs. Steven Seagal before he got fat and developed that special Seagal-sense that he uses to catch criminals in New Orleans. Man, New Orleans is so lucky… 

Not a bad way to go out for this edition of The Horror Hangover, if I do say so myself. Now you have a nice variety of cinema to enjoy, but really it's a choice between Martial Arts movies and cheesy SyFy films. You're welcome.

RIP Dennis Hopper

A madman's cinematic reign comes to sad end, and even though it was inevitable, it still lessens the blow none whatsoever. Dennis Hopper's battle with prostate cancer was long lasting, but his career and impact on screen outlasted any illness that would become him. Hopper was a true original, he lived his life his way and by his rules, and that is something that translated to his films and his performances…never will there be anyone quite like him. You will be missed Dennis Hopper, and even though you were in the Super Mario Bros. movie, you're still the man, man.

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Feel My Nervous Touch Edition!

It's was very difficult not going with an ode to The Touch or Feel My Heat when deciding to let Dirk’s Diggler invade Freddy’s Friday Night Dance Party, but what it comes down to is not missing the chance to show some love for a classic cinematic moment. Paul Thomas Anderson's 1997 masterpiece, Boogie Nights - a film about a boy, his dream, the big dong that made that dream cum true and his eventual downfall – is a favorite of mine, and while there are many wonderful musically driven scenes in the movie, the one that stands out most is the drug deal gone wrong.

Keeping in line with the times, Jessie's Girl - written and performed by Rick Springfield - was a perfect song to use for this scene. It was a major hit when it was released and most anyone would recognize it almost immediately for the 80's memories it induces. Jessie's Girl is a song that I would equate to incredibly corny but slightly infections pop cheese, but as popular as it was in its heyday, this scene from Boogie Nights is so iconic that it almost takes the song and makes it its own. If you are a film fan, you will forever associate Jessie's Girl with Boogie Nights, and that is due to this being such a perfectly executed and memorable scene.

In a way, the song is intrusive to the viewer as well as the characters, as this is a moment that unfolds in such a tense way, that the music is only serving to add a few beats to ones heart rate. There is so much going on for the characters sitting on that couch, so much going through their heads, and the cranked up tape cassette and half naked Alfred Molina dancing around just adds to their level of drugged up stress, which conveys amazingly to the viewer. My favorite moment is the shot that just lingers on Eddie Adams' face - you can see in his eyes that his brain is working overtime - as he is assaulted by the loud music, the disruptive snaps of firecrackers, Rahad dancing around the apartment, the nervous thoughts about ripping off this dangerous dude and being completely coked up to top it all off. Truly brilliant and it all comes together to make one of cinemas most intense scenes as well as one of my personal favorites.     

Totally Tubular Trailers: Extra Credit

Only one day after posting a bunch of great trailers, thanks to 24 Frames Per Second, this one falls right into my lap. I normally stockpile trailers then decide which ones I like enough to post, but this trailer gets one all to itself. The film is titled I Saw the Devil and is the newest from South Korean director, Kim Ji-woon, the man behind films such as, A Tale of Two Sisters, The Good, the Bad, The Weird and the fantastic, A Bittersweet Life (a film that made my best of the decade list).

Kim Ji-woon is one of the best directors out of South Korea and one of the best directors working period. He is the one guy that can go toe to toe with Park Chan-wook, and anything he does will be fully anticipated by me. Making that anticipation hit even greater heights is the cast, which consists of two of the biggest and best that film has to offer, Lee Byung hun and Choi Min-sik. With a double dose of talent and presence like those two, the only thing that is missing is Song Kang-ho…but that would possibly result in the Earth imploding.

I Saw the Devil is a revenge tale with Lee Byung-hun's character looking to get retribution for the murder of his girlfriend by the hands of a psychotic serial killer, naturally played by Choi Min-sik. Simple enough story but where the films of Kim Ji-woon shine brightest is in the complexity hidden within simplicity, so this film should have a lot to chew on I would assume. Either way, I am rambling on about this trailer, maybe you should just watch it and see just how fantastic this movie looks for yourself.

Does Your Beard Hang Low?

Oh, hey guys! I just wanted to remind everyone that lives in my computer that the Chuck Norris Ate My Blog Contest is in full swing, so if you were planning on getting down with some Norris action, you have until the end of the week to do so. Well, you can still get down afterwards I suppose, I more or less meant for you to be eligible to win one of many dope ass prize packs. I've already received a decent amount of submissions, so I am super happy for that. If no one were to participate, I would so have cried and thrown a sneaker at my cat's head. I still might if YOU don't get in on the action, so do the right thing and save my pussy from catching a sneaker to the dome piece.

Totally Tubular Trailers

I have a nice versatile set of trailers for you to check out today, with all of them being of the horror variety, so don't let me keep you any longer…enjoy the show.

First up is the first trailer for the Daniel Stamm directed, cinema vérité horror flick, The Last Exorcism. The film follows a reverend that allows a film crew to document his final exorcism, but while his previous encounters with exorcisms were less than legit, this one would turn out to be 2 legit 2 quit. I don't know what that means, I would guess it's not a good thing, though. This trailer shows a lot of promise, and I am definitely excited for the film…I just hope it gets a wide release when it does come out. Eli Roth's name attached as a producer should be a help, however, Lionsgate has been known to leave a few non-Saw films to rot in limited release hell. We'll find out August of this year.

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Next up we have Old Scratch, and no, it's not a film about the genital reaction that J. Howard Marshall had after getting with Anna Nicole Smith, it's actually the newest film from writer/directed Robert Hall. If that name sounds familiar, he is the FX artist that wrote and directed Laid to Rest, a film that I didn't show too much love for in the review I wrote somewhat recently. While I didn't like his other ilm, I would give him another chance and think he might have something decent in him horror wise. Whether or not it will be this one, will remain to be seen, but this trailer is very awesome as is the premise, which has to do with a washed-up musician who plays one of his demo records backwards, resulting in Trick or Treat flashbacks. Well, maybe not that last part. Being a child of the 80's and someone that has more than once played a record backwards to no result, I am all in for giving Hall another shot with Old Scratch. Hope he can deliver the goods this time around.

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Hey, what set of horror movie trailers would be complete without at least one zombie film? Played out or not, there are still some pretty dope zombie flicks that come out here and there, and for whatever reason, faith is always stronger when it's a zombie flick of the foreign variety as is the case with Rammbock, a German Zombie film that looks solid, if not slightly familiar to the near horror masterpiece, [REC]. Fantastic trailer for what looks like a nicely crafted film, with a plot not worth going over as it fits the usual infected zombie bill.

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One thing we don't get enough of is cannibal films, and I may be wrong, but I think the last one I saw was Ravenous, which was a great movie from my memory of it. We Are What We Are (Somos lo que hay) is a Mexican cannibal film, written and directed by Jorge Michel Grau and follows a family of cannibals that aren't sure how they will survive when their father and provider passes away, leaving them homeless and to find food for themselves. Interesting concept, and I love the idea of questioning the motives of these kids…is doing what they are doing wrong when it is what they know, what they where taught and they know no other way to live? This trailer shows a movie that looks taut, challenging and absolutely gorgeous. 

That's all for now, hope there were some cool trailers for you to ingest, and I would love to hear your thoughts on these upcoming horror films.

Adrien Brody…Scream King?

It recently dawned on me that Adrien Brody has really started to emerge as a full-fledged genre actor as of late. Since winning an Oscar for his role in Roman Polanski's The Pianist in 2002, he has appeared in numerous horror related films, with some of them being high profile, while others where somewhat less than so. In 2004, he put forth a fabulous performance in The Village, a film that has its issues and its detractors but is one that I personally love. The following year, he popped up in a giant remake of a giant monster movie, with Peter Jackson’s incredibly flawed King Kong, quickly followed by the underrated thriller, The Jacket that same year.

Considered terrible by most horror fans, Brody even showed up in an Argento film in 2009 with Giallo, a movie I have yet to see and am really in no rush to either based off what I have heard. Still, it's an Argento movie, and it gives a shred of horror cred to the actor in a way. But what really brings all of this actors work to my attention, is what he has on slate this year alone, with at least two of his films being much anticipated horror movies. The very promising Splice is just around the bend and looks to bring us a type of film we haven't seen in theaters in quite some time. Based off the new TV spots, the movie looks like it will deliver, and I believe that horror fans are pretty excited for the film, as I know I am.

What is even more anticipated than Splice is this year’s return of the dreaded one (plus some), with Predators, a movie that is by far one of the highest profile genre films of the year. Even with both of these big horror movies on the horizon, he still has another film due out in 2010 with the remake of 2001's Das Experiment, aptly titled, The Experiment. That's three horror movies in one year, two of which are definitely being released wide like your mom. Now, I think Brody is, most of the time, an excellent actor, and to have him doing as much work in the field of horror as he is doing is a great thing.

In a genre (and medium) that has become overly prettified over the last decade or so, it's nice to see an actor who can act, is respected and slightly awkward looking. Awkward as in, he looks kind of like the horse from Ren & Stimpy. So here's my question to you…is Adrien Brody carving himself a nice little niche as a horror icon, or am I completely crazy?