Does Your Beard Hang Low?

Oh, hey guys! I just wanted to remind everyone that lives in my computer that the Chuck Norris Ate My Blog Contest is in full swing, so if you were planning on getting down with some Norris action, you have until the end of the week to do so. Well, you can still get down afterwards I suppose, I more or less meant for you to be eligible to win one of many dope ass prize packs. I've already received a decent amount of submissions, so I am super happy for that. If no one were to participate, I would so have cried and thrown a sneaker at my cat's head. I still might if YOU don't get in on the action, so do the right thing and save my pussy from catching a sneaker to the dome piece.

Totally Tubular Trailers

I have a nice versatile set of trailers for you to check out today, with all of them being of the horror variety, so don't let me keep you any longer…enjoy the show.

First up is the first trailer for the Daniel Stamm directed, cinema vérité horror flick, The Last Exorcism. The film follows a reverend that allows a film crew to document his final exorcism, but while his previous encounters with exorcisms were less than legit, this one would turn out to be 2 legit 2 quit. I don't know what that means, I would guess it's not a good thing, though. This trailer shows a lot of promise, and I am definitely excited for the film…I just hope it gets a wide release when it does come out. Eli Roth's name attached as a producer should be a help, however, Lionsgate has been known to leave a few non-Saw films to rot in limited release hell. We'll find out August of this year.

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Next up we have Old Scratch, and no, it's not a film about the genital reaction that J. Howard Marshall had after getting with Anna Nicole Smith, it's actually the newest film from writer/directed Robert Hall. If that name sounds familiar, he is the FX artist that wrote and directed Laid to Rest, a film that I didn't show too much love for in the review I wrote somewhat recently. While I didn't like his other ilm, I would give him another chance and think he might have something decent in him horror wise. Whether or not it will be this one, will remain to be seen, but this trailer is very awesome as is the premise, which has to do with a washed-up musician who plays one of his demo records backwards, resulting in Trick or Treat flashbacks. Well, maybe not that last part. Being a child of the 80's and someone that has more than once played a record backwards to no result, I am all in for giving Hall another shot with Old Scratch. Hope he can deliver the goods this time around.

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Hey, what set of horror movie trailers would be complete without at least one zombie film? Played out or not, there are still some pretty dope zombie flicks that come out here and there, and for whatever reason, faith is always stronger when it's a zombie flick of the foreign variety as is the case with Rammbock, a German Zombie film that looks solid, if not slightly familiar to the near horror masterpiece, [REC]. Fantastic trailer for what looks like a nicely crafted film, with a plot not worth going over as it fits the usual infected zombie bill.

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One thing we don't get enough of is cannibal films, and I may be wrong, but I think the last one I saw was Ravenous, which was a great movie from my memory of it. We Are What We Are (Somos lo que hay) is a Mexican cannibal film, written and directed by Jorge Michel Grau and follows a family of cannibals that aren't sure how they will survive when their father and provider passes away, leaving them homeless and to find food for themselves. Interesting concept, and I love the idea of questioning the motives of these kids…is doing what they are doing wrong when it is what they know, what they where taught and they know no other way to live? This trailer shows a movie that looks taut, challenging and absolutely gorgeous. 

That's all for now, hope there were some cool trailers for you to ingest, and I would love to hear your thoughts on these upcoming horror films.

Adrien Brody…Scream King?

It recently dawned on me that Adrien Brody has really started to emerge as a full-fledged genre actor as of late. Since winning an Oscar for his role in Roman Polanski's The Pianist in 2002, he has appeared in numerous horror related films, with some of them being high profile, while others where somewhat less than so. In 2004, he put forth a fabulous performance in The Village, a film that has its issues and its detractors but is one that I personally love. The following year, he popped up in a giant remake of a giant monster movie, with Peter Jackson’s incredibly flawed King Kong, quickly followed by the underrated thriller, The Jacket that same year.

Considered terrible by most horror fans, Brody even showed up in an Argento film in 2009 with Giallo, a movie I have yet to see and am really in no rush to either based off what I have heard. Still, it's an Argento movie, and it gives a shred of horror cred to the actor in a way. But what really brings all of this actors work to my attention, is what he has on slate this year alone, with at least two of his films being much anticipated horror movies. The very promising Splice is just around the bend and looks to bring us a type of film we haven't seen in theaters in quite some time. Based off the new TV spots, the movie looks like it will deliver, and I believe that horror fans are pretty excited for the film, as I know I am.

What is even more anticipated than Splice is this year’s return of the dreaded one (plus some), with Predators, a movie that is by far one of the highest profile genre films of the year. Even with both of these big horror movies on the horizon, he still has another film due out in 2010 with the remake of 2001's Das Experiment, aptly titled, The Experiment. That's three horror movies in one year, two of which are definitely being released wide like your mom. Now, I think Brody is, most of the time, an excellent actor, and to have him doing as much work in the field of horror as he is doing is a great thing.

In a genre (and medium) that has become overly prettified over the last decade or so, it's nice to see an actor who can act, is respected and slightly awkward looking. Awkward as in, he looks kind of like the horse from Ren & Stimpy. So here's my question to you…is Adrien Brody carving himself a nice little niche as a horror icon, or am I completely crazy?

Baby Babble: The LAMB Shot Cyrus' Wolf Dork!

No Hangover today, obviously – the line-up was weak but I gots me some other shit to go over with you while you're here.

• First up is this Teen Wolf MTV series that's been recently announced. While I loved the first film when I was a kid, I have no real interest in anything Teen Wolf related in my life again, but I am interested in what this show is going to be like for some reason. Is it going to have some sort of an influence from the Twilight Werewolves? Will Stiles be part of the show, and will he once again be someone I yearn to be just like? Will this extra show up to once again show everyone his dick?

These are all burning questions that must be answered.

• The 2010 LAMMY nominations were recently announced, and as I fully expected, Chuck Norris Ate My Baby was nominated for best blog name! Thanks to anyone and everyone that voted for my blog and please feel free to do so once again to make sure I win that shit!! Though, I did not receive nominations in any other category, I was super pleased to see votes for almost every one of the categories, so that was nice to see.

• Speaking of nominated for best blog name, elgringo from He Shot Cyrus is hosting an interesting little blog thingy titled My Best Blog Post Blog-A-Thon, where a handful of bloggers submitted their best or most underrated post. I was asked to participate, and I gladly submitted a review I did for a film that I truly loved. Like, I made babies with it and got it's name tattooed on my lower back, loved. I won't say what it is because you will have to find out for yourself. I don't think it's my best post, necessarily, but it is one of my best reviews and it went completely ignored, unfortunately. Can you read the bitterness in my words damn it! Great idea on elgringo's part, and while no one will probably still read it, I like the idea of giving a post a second chance for love. 

• Oh yeah and the Chuck Norris Ate My Blog Contest begins…like wicked soon and shit. Badass.   

That's all I got for now…I was planning on doing a post on a bunch of VHS purchases via tag sales that I made as of late, but my internet connection has been nothing short of horrible, so it may take longer than I had planned. Until that time, see you on the flip side, shun!

Arnold's Friday Night Dance Party!

Hey hoes, it be a late night dance party tonight, as I spent much of the day busy at the gym, working on my bod, getting it primed for tonight's special edition of Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party. I need to be as tight as possible, or the baby oil just won't look right, plus, the stronger I am, the harder I can push myself to keep the darkness illuminated with intense trails from my glow sticks. So I hope you came prepared with a solid tan, deep cuts, massive bulges and a bottle of Nair, because tonight, it's an all-nighter with the one and only, Arnold Schwarzenegger!

What is there really to say about this clip that isn't said all on it's own? The song is fantastic and really gets my blood pumping, and I find it supremely difficult to look away as each move Julius Benedict makes, is one of style and intense dedication to the dance. If being 'Born to be Alive' is a metaphor for falling into a dance trance with nothing but you and your glow sticks, then consider me born like Jason. There should be a dance-off between Arnold's rave dance and Jean-Claude's onsie dance scene from Breakin' for homoerotic supremacy. The winner gets both the glow sticks and the onsie, but more importantly, street cred. Oh, and an Applebee's gift certificate worth $15.

The Beard is Growing Closer…

Just a friendly little reminder that this coming Monday, May 24th, marks start of the Chuck Norris Ate My Blog Contest, a week long blogathon with the subject matter being that of mister Chuck Norris himself. If you are taking part, I cannot wait to see what you have in store, if you aren't taking part (send submissions to chucknorrisatemybaby (at) gmail (dot) com), then you should, if not for the reason that it will be a blast to honor the man that is the definition of honor. Also, there are all sorts of dope ass prizes to be won for those that do participate, so don't be a heel and miss out on the coolest thing since mesh cut off tee-shirts!

More details come with the click of your cursor…

Hunger Pains

The Hunger may have very well been the first movie added to my Netflix instant queue, and the reason I say that is, it’s been the first movie on that ridiculous queue for well over a year. I wanted to see it and even started watching it at least twice, but it was late each time, and I passed out very early on. To be honest, it didn’t really seem like anything special from what I saw of it before dozing off. Then finally, after some pressure from the old lady - who was tired of seeing the same movie sitting there at the beginning of my queue for more than a year - I broke down and watched 1983’s The Hunger.

I had completely forgotten that it was a Tony Scott movie, probably because I added it so long ago, but I'm sure his name was a selling point for me adding it to my list originally. I like some of his films, not all of them are great but he has done some solid work and having his name pop up in the opening credits to a Vampire film (and his first) from the 80’s, certainly is appealing.

As for the opening scene that I had previously fallen asleep to (and almost did this time, but I fought like a lion to stay awake, son!), the same opening scene I deemed lackluster, I quickly realized that I must have fallen asleep in the first minute or two those other times I tried to watch the film. The Hunger's beginning is about as far from lackluster as it gets, as it starts off in a sort of Goth club, with a music video style performance intercut with an introduction to our two main characters, Miriam (Catherine Deneuve) and John (David Bowie), the film’s opening left me very surprised and excited to move forward.

It’s a very flashy introduction, totally absorbing in how it just comes at you, showing how Miriam and John pick up another couple for a night of partner swapping, but their motives are much more sinister as you witness them slice open their prospective lay’s and drink the sweet lifeblood as it leaves their unsuspecting victim’s bodies. These event’s aren't presented in a straight forward fashion, instead, they intercut in such a chaotic way and without dialogue, just physical acting and quickly edited moments to show the viewer what is happening. This opening tells you everything you need to know about Miriam and John in such a simple and indirect way.

I was simply impressed with this very unconventional and stylish start to the film, but what’s even better is, The Hunger never goes near anything like that again. It is just a set up to show what John and Miriam have been doing for what would be a very long time in order to fulfill their needs. The Hunger then becomes a pretty slow moving character study, and even the filming style and the look of it become almost like a modern version of a gothic styled horror movie. Very cold and quiet with much of the film set in John and Miriam’s flat which conveys a sense of solitude and almost looks like a museum, filled with a rich history.

“The Goth club” John and Miriam as seen in the opening kill scene are much different and use that facade to find prey. In reality, they are elegant and in a way seem to live a classy life style that would come from living for numerous centuries and through a multitude of culture changes that reflects in their taste and how they live. They seem much older than they are, which is actually the case. That is where the film’s conflict would come into play, when John begins to suddenly age very rapidly. He seeks the help of Dr. Sarah Roberts (Susan Sarandon) who specializes in age research, but she chalks his rapid aging problems up to insanity and brushes him off.

However, Miriam seems to be infatuated with Sarah after seeing her talk about her research on television, and now with John fastly aging to the point of nothingness, she appears to be ready to move on to a new partner in her life. There is no sure reason for why John ages rapidly, but it’s very clear that Miriam knows what is going on with him, and it becomes apparent as to how she knows later on in the film in what is a fantastic reveal. This reveal also drastically changes gears for the characters in the movie, and when you think it’s going one way with the story of John’s sudden descent into old age, it turn’s into a seduction tale with Miriam swooning the Sarah character.

While I said that The Hunger is a Vampire flick, it is hardly like many of the better known films that the genre had to offer in the 1980’s. These “Vampires” are not affected by the sunlight (though they are never directly in the sun at any point in the movie), they do not sport fangs nor is there a coffin anywhere to be found (kind of). With that said, The Hunger still works like a Vampire film but an original and fresh take on the genre, almost like Romero’s Martin was when it came out in ‘77. Unlike Martin, however, there is a strong supernatural element to the characters, with Miriam living eternally and how she has the ability to mesmerize her potential victims. These atypical Vampires are not creatures or even monsters in their appearance, but for whatever reason, they need blood or at least have a hunger for it.

For something that is sort of a Vampire movie, it is not, as is the case with how it works as a horror movie. It is, but it isn’t. While there is some bloodshed at times, overall, it is a slow moving film that takes the time to get to know the characters and the world that they live in, instead of focusing on the animalistic aspect of Vampires and/or their mythology. It looks at more the power that Miriam has over John and Sarah and how she uses that power to whatever best suits her slightly selfish needs.

A complete fresh breath of air, The Hunger was a big surprise in what it is, compared to what I expected of it initially. Even when I thought I had my head wrapped around it, the story (based on a Whitley "alien rape" Strieber novel) would take a turn and bring in something new, keeping everything from getting stale. Though, the ending is a little off from the overall feel of the movie and almost takes a silly E.C. Comicsish turn, it’s a fun and highly satisfying way for it to finish the way it does for all of the characters.

So, while I don’t have to look at this film every time I fire up watch instantly and go to my queue, I do know that it will not be the last time I see The Hunger, that’s for sure.