8 is Great?!

Finally set in stone, the 8th and final film has been announced for the 4th annual After Dark Films Horrorfest 8 Films to Die For line-up. Written by Kelly Palmer and directed by Chris Moore, Kill Theory is about a group of seven college friends that celebrate their upcoming graduation at a secluded vacation home. Things take an ugly turn when the group encounter a sadistic unknown madman who forces them to kill one another in order to survive. Whomever is left standing at 6 am the next morning, is the one that is allowed to walk away with his or her life.

Sounds interesting enough to me and Kill Theory seems to have elements of Saw and even a bit of Cabin Fever and Battle Royal in a way. All of the After Dark Films acquired for the upcoming festival (which begins January 29th) have a lot of promise and I have already heard positive things about Lake Mungo, which is one that I really wanted to check out even before reading a few solid reviews.   

Now that the movies are all in place, there is a tight little trailer for the festival and to be completely honest, it gets me pumped for this line-up and I have pretty high hopes for it. There have been some real gems in the previous three installments, but those gems were hidden in piles of mediocre-to-bad. I would love to see After Dark come out with a strong set of movies, if not for the fact that they are spotlighting independent horror cinema and giving films a chance that might not have gotten one any other way. And while I will more than likely not have any chance to see any of them ‘round these parts, at least I know there will be a DVD release soon enough. 

When a non-foreign language trailer for Kill Theory is available, I will be sure to post it, but for now, here is the trailer for the festival itself. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the line-up’s potential and what you think looks good!

It Ain’t Over Just Yet…

And in recent blog award’s news, the love orgy going down in the blogosphere is still going strong and Chuck Norris Ate My Baby has once again been invited into the pile of sweat and warming oils. Brittney-Jade aka BJ-C aka Don’t spell my name Brittany, of the lovely and vaginal Day of the Woman has created her own award for the blogs she loves to love and CNAMB was one of the blogs she named! The award is the Fantastically Frightening award and CNAMB won for The blog that has the best headers ever created. While I have put up such classic headers as Baby-butt Pumpkin and Scary Santa killer, my usual header showing Chuck Norris post baby dinner was created by Dylan of Paracinema Magazine and …The Blog fame, so I must not take all the credit.

There aren’t any real rules for this award outside of being able to give it to whomever I deem Fantastically Frightening, so anyone that gets this award here today from me need not do anything with it unless they want to. If you would like to pass it on to a deserving blog, please, feel free…just make sure that you know it is from the bottom of my heart, which is located somewhere near my Bass Pro-Shop. I am going to give this award to a few (of the many) of my favorite blogs and ones that I do not think already received it…I hope.

Deadly Doll’s House of Horror Nonsense – Emily takes one for the team all too often and she will watch some seriously bottom of the barrel stuff, just to bring funny and fair reviews. She has such a unique voice and it shows in her writings. I just love this woman’s taste!       

I Like Horror Movies – Carl is the hardest working man in blog-business and he keeps things simple, fun, and there is always an abundance of awesome shit to check out at his site. He is the man.  

Behind the Couch - James is one of the best writers on the block and he brings so much to his reviews that he can almost make a movie better than it is through his descriptions. Just read his review of H2…fantastic.

Dear Bastards - King Mob puts out an interesting  and fun blog that is one part daily diary and two part’s movie and TV talk. He always has great stories that we can all relate to in a million different ways.    

The Lightening Bug’s Layer - T.L. Bugg is just the king of it all…he reviews a multitude of genres covering all things cult and B-Movie and his knowledge is limitless. Any man that shows as much love to the great Klaus Kinski as he has, is more than okay in my book. 

Assorted Loaf – Pickleloaf is a fresh voice in the blogging world and his theme months are very informative, insightful, and I can only imagine how much work they must be. To top it off, the dude is funny as shit and his always great screen captures he has for his reviews can cause me to make a little pee pee.  

So there are my picks this time around…all of you winners are now proud owners of the chick with the great knockers and the luckiest Skelton hands ever( Actually, those hands looks very familiar? Skele-tone?)! So do what you see fit with it, just know that you all are the wind beneath my wings. Thanks to BJ-C for the love! 

I also want to thank Rachel of Rach’s Media Opinions and Venom5 of Cool Ass Cinema for both being kind enough to pass on the Kreativ Blogger award to CNAMB. Check out both their blogs and tell them that Matt sent ya…for their babies!

The Horror Hangover

As if being half in the bag isn’t a good enough excuse to stay in today, it is frackin’ cold out pretty much everywhere, which is all the more reason to stay in, snuggle up right next to me, and let me guide you through the great things that are on television today. Okay, maybe great is stretching it a bit, but at least good…kinda. I have a pretty solid and interesting Horror Hangover to get you through the agony of alcohol poisoning this Sunday afternoon, so wipe the crust from yer eyes…it’s time to begin.

Starting off at 10:00 AM The Skulls (2000) is on AMC. I saw bits and pieces of this movie and it is pretty terrible, but movies like this always seem to keep me entertained in a guilty pleasure type of way. Perfect to watch whilst hanging mad hard, The Skulls is like a Full Moon movie with a budget and a few stars. The Skulls! What a name!

Also at 10:00 SyFy kicks The Skulls in The Balls with Dark Breed (1996). You know, I said that The Skulls would be adequate Hangover material, but after seeing the trailer for Dark Breed, there is only one way to go! I think this may be my pick of the week – you can’t beat 90’s Sci Fi cheese, melted on a warm piece of gore-met bread!

12:00 noon and SyFy is still going strong with Living Hell (2008). I actually have seen this movie available on Netflix instant watch a million times (that’s a lot!), but under the title Organizm. I just shrugged it off, but it does actually look kind of fun in a B-Movie way. It stars that dude that ate cum off his hand in The Doom Generation and also played the killer in the fantastic remake of Prom Night.      

At 2:00, SyFy is continuing to bring the pain with Heatstroke (2008)…and when I say bring the pain, I mean it. This pic from the film should say it all.May the lord bless you SyFy, for you are truly the greatest thing ever created. 

Speaking of the greatest, at 3:00 Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994) is playing on ION. When I said earlier that Dark Breed may be my pick of the week, I knew that it wasn’t the only one, because I knew that a Death Wish movie was on. I’m so sneaky! Even older than shit, Bronson will knock yo ass out and I love it!

Ending the Hangover with a bang, at 4:00 The Golden Child (1986) is on Comedy Central. I love and have seen The Golden Child a ton of times. It’s Eddie Murphy, when he was funny, in a horror movie - and not just a horror movie, but an occult horror movie! It’s funny, it’s totally ridiculous, and “I want the knife…Pleeeeease!” Is still funny as shit. My sweet brother Numpsay, I love this movie!

That’ll do her for today baby eaters…I hope you found some positive guidance this Sunday and Go Patriots!

CNAMB Presents: The Pre-Top 25 Films of the Decade Thing!

This is going to take forever? I’m asking only because I am just starting this and I plan on doing my top 25 very tight and quick, so not to drag it out for too long. I just don’t want to get all crazy talking about these movies (‘cause it’s gonna be hard not to) as there are 25 of them and to spend too much time on each one is too much time to ask you to spend with me. I know you like to spend time elsewhere (because to miss me is epic), so to keep you all to myself is just selfish.

This is how it’s going to work: I am going to do this in three segments…first, I will do my 25-16, then a few days later 15-6, then to cap it all off with a bang, I will do my top 5 best films of the decade. Or, I’ll just do it all together depending on how it goes. Guess we’ll see when it happens! I’ve been stewing on this post for sometime, just dreading all the work it will take deciding what films should go where, but I also have got to do it so I can share my thoughts on what exactly ruled the decade in films, through my eyes. Tough decisions have to be made! So yeah, be on the look out for that and I think that is all for now…you are dismissed! 

Freddy’s Friday Night Dance Party!: He’s A Maniac – Maniac Cop Edition!

Man have I got a beast master of a song for tonight’s Dance Party!! For the first time in a good number of years, I rewatched William Lustig’s Maniac Cop 2 a few weeks back and much to my unknowing rapper’s delight, there was a song at the end of the movie. Sounds normal, right? You expect a song at the end of any movie, but when that song has a poppin’ hip-hop beat laid out to some intricate and dope lyrics about the story and dangers of the Maniac Cop himself, Matt Cordell, well, all just becomes right with the world. There is unfortunately no official music video for this one, but this fan made clip will do just fine - the song is more than good enough on its own. Just listen for yourself.

Can you believe that shit is REAL?! Real fucking awesome! I mean, where do I even begin? How about the Maniac Cop himself throwing his police issued cap into the hip-hop ring with his Miranda rights styled chorus! Or how about some of these crazy lyrics even…” Set him on fire, I shoot him with an uzi, but he’ll show up in your Jacuzzi!” Jacuzzi?! Is this a Maniac Cop that patrols the streets of the Jersey Shore? Better watch out, Snooki! Oh yeah, and the name of the song is get this…Maniac Cop Rap!

I really tried to find out who the”lyricists” were behind this masta-piece, but I had no luck at all. The song as well as the entire Maniac Cop 2 OST is composed by Jay Chattaway who has composed a ton of films and television, including the first Maniac Cop. Is there a chance that Mr. Chattaway was the M.C. behind this classic track? Look at this guy…he has thug Doug written all over him. Maybe he and Ted Turner can team up and create the hottest rap duo since Kid ‘n Play.

“You have the right to remain silent…forever!”

No Need to Put a Bag Over Paracinema’s Head!

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CNAMB Presents: Monster of the Week!

I haven’t done a Monster of the Week in some time - I’ve just been so busy watching Steven Seagal, his Martial Art prowess, his peach colored sunglasses, and his special “Seagal Sense” on Lawman to spend as much time as I should be spending here…with you. Ma bad. So for this week's Monster, I am going with a little something special, a creature that almost harkened back to the creature features of the old days, but did so with a sly sense of humor and a double dash of fun and set in a modern age.

This week’s Monster of the Week goes to…

The Graboid(s)!

These subterranean invertebrate first appeared in the 1990 giant monster movie classic, Tremors and the Graboids were created by that films director Ron Underwood and the writing team of Brent Maddock and S.S. Wilson. Graboids are based off the Mongolian Death Worm and they are incredibly large creatures that are attracted by noise, or better yet, vibrations. They can grow up to about 30 feet at full adult state and have an almost beck like mouth that contains three smaller mouths that extend beyond the Graboids bite and even seem to have a mind of their own. Only weakness that a Graboid has is it cannot pass through solid rock or concrete as it is an underground creature. However, these Graboids are monsters that have brains to go along with their beauty and are able to come up with creative and destructive ways of drawing their pray out for a little snack.

There were a few different versions of these creatures as the series went along, but I only need to focus on the O.G. Graboid as that is where it all started. So sorry, no ass-blasters! The Graboid appeared in four Tremors films altogether and also in a very shirt lived Tremors television series that kinda got the shaft in how it was all handled. Tremors is a fantastic little horror/comedy that mixed in classic B-Movie sensibilities, with a fistful of black comedy, an original creature, and it worked to…Perfection.