Freddy's Halloween Dance Party!

'Tis the season to be scary...and there is nothing scarier than a DUI (well, except for that burning sensation when I pee), so why not spend your night here, at the hottest club in all the land, Freddy's Halloween Dance Party! YAEAZA!! Halloween weekend is upon us and the barbarian of bones himself, dj Skele-tone has dusted off his collection of great Halloween music for us all to enjoy throughout the next two nights! That's right, it's a two day dance party filled with haunts and happenings and all coated in candy flavored ecstacy! So, what are we waiting for...lets drop that beat, Slele-tone!

This is Halloween!



Whew! That was good clean fun, now wasn't it? But this party isn't gonna stay family friendly much longer. In fact, I would like to create a family with at least a few of our female attendees by the end of the night, so lets grime it up a little shall we?!

Hit it, Skele-tone!

Dead Kennedy's Halloween



YAHHHOWSA!! That was dope, son! I need to take it easy for a moment, take a chill pill if you will. Or any sort of pill for that matter, but this party isn't over yet...expect a few more tight tracks from our bony buddy Skele-tone over the next 48 hours!

Top 13 Favorite Horror Sequels!

Hey! You look a little bored, so I got something fun for you to do - remember a few days ago when I mentioned the big Halloween Top 13: The Sequel thing that is going on at The Lightning Bug's Lair? Well, if you don't, our good friend, T.L. Bugg has been counting down a list of his favorite horror film sequels of all time in honor of Halloween! Each sequel he has picked has been paired up with a submission from readers and fellow bloggers lists of their fav sequels and I was lucky enough to be involved, so if you head over there right this second, you can read my list! What made the cut? You'll have to find out for yourself! I do want to thank Mr. Bugg for allowing me to take part with this project and for featuring my list so high up in the countdown...I am truly honored! So head over there and check it out by clicking right...here!

Don't shoot, I'm gay!

Yep. Another zombie film. Another zombie Comedy. The fifth film announced for After Dark's Horrorfest: 8 Films to Die For is in fact a Zombie Comedy titled ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction. Directed and co-written (with Ramon Isao) by Kevin Hamedani, ZMD is about a small conservative island community that has been overtaken by flesh-eaters. The community has no hope for survival against the ongoing Zombie onslaught, until a rag tag band of rebels assemble to save the town.

Zombie movies...I just did a zombie movie review with Automaton Transfusion and I have a Zombieland review waiting to go up early next week, so I am kind of zombied out to be honest with you guys. However, ZMD does look like a cool little flick based off this trailer, with a couple of nice zombie gore shots and a mix of humor that actually seems to be somewhat funny. We will find out if this zombie comedy has any braaaaains (sorry, I should know better) or not January 29th of next year when 8 Films rolls into theaters yet again.

Chucktober Presents: The Final Horrifying Halloween TV Advertisements!

Unfortunately, all good (well, mediocre) things must come to an end, so here is the final batch of Halloween TV commercials for you to enjoy this fun and frightful week! I hope everyone got a kick out of these classic and not-so-classic advertisements, and hopefully they brought back some found memories of Halloweens past. I know I had a lot of fun putting them together and this last collection is a good one if I do say so myself!
Enjoy!

And once again, McDonald's!: What's more dangerous - a mallet, a chainsaw, an axe, or high cholesterol?



Doritos: Frankenstein's monster is such a loser.



Coors Light with Elvira!: Hmmm...I'd like to have an "adult party" with Elvira, if you know what I mean.



Fruity Yummy Mummy: Count Chocula and Frankenberry look for a place to love one another when they meet, Fruity Yummy Mummy...it's a match made in the closet.



Nick or Treat: This is one of my favorite of all the commercials that I have found since starting this thing back in the beginning of Chucktober - This ad came out at a time whene I was starting to learn about make-up FX and how they were done...I wanted to win this thing sooooo bad! What kid wouldn't?



Adios, folks!

Three More Days Till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

I went and put up a big fat baby ass with a pumpkin painted on it for my header in the spirit of the last week of Chucktober and the final and insanely sad moments before Halloween passes us by...like a candle in the wind. You know for a fact that baby ass is gonna be pumpkin pie for a certain bearded male with roundhouse kick capability, but till the season is over, safe that ass is. As always, I have had an okay Halloween, filled with a lot of excitement and a sliver of letdown for whatever lame reasons that decide to come up and ruin things.

I was off from work on Thursday and did whatever I do when not working (kicking a ton of ass and tanning). When Sunday rolled around, I was out of work remarkably early, so I thought, "I can go to one of the two local Haunted Houses tonight!" Nope. The mother fucking Haunted Houses are closed on Sundays - and here's the kicker...they're open on Thursdays! So I could have went to both of the local haunts in one day, but I would have never thought that a "weekend attraction" would be open on a weekday, let alone closed on a Sunday.

Being that I moved not too long ago, I got a new job, which is good, right? Yeah, good until you walk in and see a sign asking that no employees take off Halloween, or the day beforehand for that matter. I can begrudgingly deal with that a little more as I understand it's the weekend and I am new, so who am I really to complain. However, I will complain about the fact that two out of three pumpkins were snagged from my house the other night! I feel like I've been raped. By a shark. I shouldn't get too pissed...it's not like I've never taken a pumpkin from a house before, but mixed in with the Haunted House thing, it just really chaps my ass.

On the bright side, I am very happy that I can safely leave the rest of my Halloween decorations outside without anyone messing with them - and pumpkins of gigantic sizes are on sale at Walfart for $1. $1! Oh yeah, I did have a can of soup in the witches cauldron out in front to keep it from blowing away in the wind, but those cock-hairs took that too. At least it was vegetable soup, so no real loss I guess...in fact, I should thank them.

There have been plenty of ups to go with my downs however. I'm pretty psyched that I was able to see a few good horror films in theaters lately with Zombieland last week and Paranormal Activity tonight (reviews soon to follow). As always with this time of year, there are a ton of great Halloween programs on TV and I cannot get enough of it! Nothing says Halloween quite like Theo Huxtable in a Dracula custom topped off with a jheri curl wig! There is also a ton of Halloween fun to check out in the blog world too.

Over at Dinner With Max Jenke, my good buddy Jeff has a "Trick or Trailers" countdown to Halloween going on right this very second. He has some awesome trailers and his nostalgic thoughts on them are always entertaining. Every ones favorite Bugg, as in T.L. Bugg of The Lightning Bug's Lair has his own countdown titled: The Halloween Top 13: The Sequel! This is where he counts down his 13 favorite Horror sequels of all time and his picks have been mighty fine thus far. Also, keep a look out, as yours truly will be showing up on there with my own list of favorite horror sequels too! There are a ton of other blogs doing great Halloween shit, but too many for me to mention in just one post.

However, I would like to direct you all over to our good friends (and proud Baby Eaters!) at Planet of Terror who have an interview with Will Devokees, a 20 year old filmmaker who is finishing up his very first feature film, Macabre Medicine. This Grindhouse homage is self-financed by the young filmmaker and we here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby are big supporters of any one that has the tenacity to even attempt to make their own movie...independent Horror is the driving force of creativity, so support it I shall!

I gotta get moving...the Scream Awards are on and that will probably be kind of mediocre I'm sure, but at least it will have some cool shit on it mixed in with the lame musical performances, so I'll check it out. Thanks for listening to my whining and bitching and I would love to hear how your Halloween holiday season is going thus far. Until then, Happy happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

Totally Tubular Trailers!

Whew! I got a handful of great trailers for you guys this time around so let's not waste any time with my mindless babble and get right into it!

First trailer for the evening, we have an Israeli action film titled Kirot. Directed by Danny Lerner, Kirot is the story of two women - the first is an ex-prostitute named Galia, who is forced against her will into becoming an assassin by a skeevy criminal organization. The other woman is Galia's neighbor, Eleanor who is a grocery store cashier that cannot take her awful life anymore as an abused wife. They both team up and escape from there sorrows and together they embark on a campaign of revenge. Has the feel and some of the themes found in films like Bound and Thelma and Louise...you just can't go wrong with a couple of good looking Israeli girls strapped with gat's!



Hot on the heals of Dead Snow, there is more Nazi mayhem to come with the upcoming "Nazi Slasher" film, Final Solution - Nazi's really are the new pink this season, aren't they? Directed by Martin Bech, this Danish horror flick focuses on a woman's journey to find out what happened to her family (who were forced to leave her behind) when they fled a Nazi occupied Denmark to neutral Swedish soil. Her quest takes her to places more frightening than she could ever imagine, a place where she and her friends will uncover a Nazi evil of unspeakable proportions. Nazi Slasher sounds like a novel concept and the teaser is pretty cool looking - it actually looks like a French film more than anything else and that's not so bad considering the French have been cranking out some solid horror over the past few years.



Next up, Martial Arts legend Yuen Woo-ping makes a triumphant comeback as the director of True Legend. The film follows the story of the classic martial arts character, Su Qi-Er (Man Cheuk Chiu) who lost his fortune and reputation due to a conspiracy against him and his family. Now living the life of a beggar, he takes to practicing Martial Arts and eventually evolves into a master, better known as the King of Beggars. Yuen Woo-ping has not directed anything since 2002's The Tai Chi Master, so it's great to see him back in the director's chair. He has directed some of my favorite Martial Arts films, namely Iron Monkey and Twin Warriors and has done the fight choreography for films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and the superb first two entries in the Once Upon A Time in China series - so this is something to look forward to indeed.



Finally, and minus the Silver Shamrock song, we have Season of the Witch directed by Dominic Sena. Set in the 14th-century, Season of the Witch is about a group of knights who must transport a suspected witch to a monastery, for she is thought to be the source of the Black Plague. Dominic Sena has directed some pretty weak films, but I still think this one looks promising...and Nick Cage is in it, with long hair no less, and the awesome Ron Perlman to boot. Is it just me, or is the teaser takng a shot at Saw in the begining? At least that's what I got out of the opening statement of the teaser. We'll see if it can rise above amateur level on March 19th of next year.



Them was some great trailers, now weren't they? As always, I would love to hear what you think about anyone one of these movies...until then, I'll be watching Roseanne Halloween specials nonstop!

David VS Goliath

How fitting is it that a horror film with a budget estimated somewhere between $11-15 thousand dollars would be the movie to knock off the almighty Saw? Paranormal Activity came in first place this weekend with a solid $22 million in what is essentially its fifth week. Saw VI "saw" very little in terms of business for an opening weekend with $14.8 million (and played in over 1,000 theaters more than P.A.), only barely beating out Where the Wild Things Are which took in $14.4. I am not a fan of the Saw films and I admittedly have not given the entire series much of a chance outside of the first film and about half of the the third movie, but it's just not my thing. So, I am thrilled that an independent film, made for peanuts, was the one to take Halloween back from the franchise that is as far as you can get from the Halloween spirit in my eyes.

Even more impressive is the difficult road that Paranormal Activity has navigated to get to where it is today. I remember seeing trailers for it way back in late 2007 when Paranormal Activity was grouped in with a slew of other handheld horror films like Cloverfield, Diarrhea of the Dead, [REC], and the still yet to be released, The Poughkeepsie Tapes. I was excited for all of these films, and two out of the three that were released really delivered for me...but still, Paranormal Activity, the one I wanted to see the most, was nowhere to be found.

This homemade horror film was almost an unfortunate remake victim partially due to Steven Spielberg loving it after he had gotten his hands on a copy through DreamWorks (Spielberg also thought the film was haunted...dork.). After a strong showing at a screening the original film was set to be released in 2008, but issues with DreamWorks and Paramount yet again halted the release of the film. And finally, about a month ago, the movie was released in a very limited amount of theaters with the whole Demand It! marketing strategy that eventually got the film released in more and more theaters. The more theaters it got in, the better Paranormal Activity performed at the box office, the better it performed, the more theaters it got into. Until now, where the film is released wide and beating fucking Saw VI on its opening weekend, on its own turf nonetheless.

I may come off as bashing Saw, and I kind of am, but I'm just so tired of so many formidable movies getting left on the back burner, while another Saw film comes out and is successful. Successful because of the lack of head to head competition the Saw films have had by other horror movies the past five Halloweens. I'm completely over the annoying, and ridiculously terrible commercials stating "If it's Halloween, it must be Saw!" That's not the Halloween I celebrate, Mr. Man! It's almost poetic that Paranormal Activity would travel the long and difficult path it has to make it to where it is now, being the number one film in the country just before Halloween. Until a few days ago, the nearest theater that was playing Paranormal Activity was an hour and a half away - now with its strong box office showing, it is playing at a theater much closer, still 45 minutes from home, but I'll take it.