George: A ZZZZZZombie Intervention (2011)

What is essentially a pairing of A&E's Emmy award winning series, Intervention (which usually finds a way to make me feel somewhat better about my addiction to Charleston Chew candy bars) and the zombie subgenre, George: A Zombie Intervention (2011) takes two overplayed genre conventions, zombies and humor, and injects them with a fresh idea that doesn't necessarily equal a winning combination.

The premise is fairly simple, showcasing zombies as people who are, as per usual, dead and enjoy the sweet, succulent taste of human flesh. However, they are also able to function as normal human beings and are accepted members of society, but there is the rare occurrence of a zombie going on a human flesh binge, which is the case with this film's titular character, George. Seeing his problem as a form of addiction, George's friends get together to intervene, giving him the ultimatum of going to rehab or losing them as friends. As you would see in any given episode of Intervention, George doesn't believe he has an eating humans problem and becomes standoffish to the idea of rehab. However, as the night grows long and more people begin to show up - and even more begin to mysteriously die - George must eventually face his demons.     

The zombie subgenre, or, more specifically the zombie/comedy subgenre, has become so over saturated that there is barely even the smallest sign of a fresh idea in what is produced nowadays. Naturally, there are still a few that shine through; films that are able to take a tired genre staple, inject a fresh idea into it and deliver something fun and refreshing, even in an overly submerged market. Director J.T. Seaton, who co-wrote the film with Brad Hodson, had what was initially a great idea, but it's how that idea was executed that holds George: A Zombie Intervention (aka George's Intervention) back. 

Where George: A Zombie Intervention falls flat is in how unnecessarily over-the-top silly it tries to be, which results in the film feeling like an overlong comedy skit that simply overstays its welcome. The concept is already funny, but to go so overboard takes away from the humor that comes naturally from the initial idea. A perfect film that I could compare George to is 2006's Fido, a zombie film with a hysterical concept but a subtle, stick to your guns execution. The humor in Fido was tongue in cheek, subdued and sharp, and it is those aspects that made that film a joy to watch. George: A Zombie Intervention pushes the matter too far and it affects the film's overall appeal. There are some very funny moments, but most of the more successful comedic moments come from subtlety as opposed to the times when full-on humor was being attempted. The comedic tonal changes and ideas are confused and tedious, leaving the film to be scatterbrained and, more importantly, left this viewer with a slightly bored taste in his mouth.

Regardless of the film's major comedic flaw, George: A Zombie Intervention is not a terrible movie in regards to the filmmaking and acting. For a low-budget movie, the film looks good enough quality wise. Most of the performances are decent, with Carlos Larkin given the standout performance as George. It was also nice to see genre actress Lynn Lowry (I Drink Your Blood, The Crazies) in the film, as she does a commendable comedic job playing a half-assed interventionist hired to help George with his problem. In addition, the budget make-up effects are very good and the film does deliver a few fun gore moments that should be best appreciated by genre fans of my generation. 

I wish I had more positive things to say about this film, but so much of it hinges on the humor. Sadly, much of the humor simply did not work for me. I am incredibly picky (and cynical) when it comes to my comedy, and I generally do not find much of what the mainstream considers to be funny all that humorous, so maybe the humor might work for you. I wouldn't want to necessarily discourage people from giving George: A Zombie Intervention a shot because it's not a terrible film, I just didn't find it to be a very funny one.

Salute Your Shorts: The Code (2011)

Directed by Mark Blitch, The Code is a horror comedy short film that was specifically created to compete in the 2011 Splatterfest Festival in Houston, TX where it went on to win an impressive 11 awards. Written by Jason Walter Vaile and Alan Tregoning and featuring Tamara Voss, Taylor Brandt and Todd Terry, the just under 6 minute short is a look at the importance of communication in an internet savvy world.

Outside of telling you I think The Code features a funny idea that is well executed (especially in the first half), reviewing a horror comedy such as this would be somewhat pointless. I wouldn't want to simply repeat jokes I think are funny, though, I will mention that Chad's laugh is pure gold.

It's good stuff, so take a break from your hard partying and have good laugh!

The Commune (2009): Daddy's Girl

Written, produced and directed by Elisabeth Fies, The Commune (2009) is an independent thriller that follows the exploits of a young teen named Jenny, who is staying at her deadbeat dad's commune for the summer. Jenny harbors much negativity for her father (played by Stuart G. Bennett) as he abandoned her and her mother both emotionally and financially to live a carefree life as the leader of a New Age cult. However, after all these years, he now wants to rekindle his relationship with his angst-filled daughter, but his reasoning for doing so might be more sinister than simply wanting redemption for his past parental neglect.

While The Commune doesn't necessarily come right out and tell you where the film will go on a thriller level, you will have a good idea as to where things could end up simply due to that delicate line between free loving hippies and full on delusional cult psychos. Now, while there is a twist that actually caught me by surprise, and in a good way, the film is not so much focused on forcing the thriller angle down its viewer's throat as it is on projecting the difficulties of a teenage girl going through the motions of becoming a woman.

The viewer is privy to a first hand look at Jenny dealing with her daddy issues as well as her budding sexuality. She is fiercely independent, something which is clearly attributed to her mother's upbringing, but her independence is heavily challenged within the ironically confined commune setting she is now begrudgingly living in. Which is something that is kind of interesting, actually, as the people within the commune speak of freedom from religious oppression, openness and the ability to express one's self, yet Jenny is constantly judged for being who she is while also not given the privacy she, a 16-year-old girl, desires. Jenny is portrayed by Chauntal Lewis, a strikingly gorgeous actress who is uncannily reminiscent of a young Jordan Ladd. Lewis has an immediate screen presence about her and plays the role of Jenny well enough. She is clearly not playing to her actual age, but at certain moments, she does an admirable job capturing the rebellious innocence of a teenage girl hurdling down the highway of adulthood.

While The Commune plays more to the character growth and development of Jenny than it does the thriller aspect, something which is mostly refreshing and honest, it is also that aspect of the film that suffers from its only real issue. There are a few moments in the second half of the movie where things crawl at a pace only a tortoise could appreciate. These specific moments are a result of extended scenes between Jenny and her budding relationship with a local stud named Puck (David Lago), who thankfully keeps his fingers out of the peanut butter. The overall romantic story thread between Jenny and Puck is not at all boring unto itself, and the entire relationship is very important to Jenny's character arc, but some of their scenes just go on a tad too long. 

As mentioned, the story and female character development are something worth strong compliment from me, but where The Commune shines brightest is in the surprising visual prowess of the film as a whole. For a low-budget feature, The Commune looks very clean and is nicely shot with a level of high quality rarely found in an independent horror film. Adding another layer to the visual stamina of the film is a visually fulfilling spectrum of colors that runs across the screen, with a vibrant color palate that is overly bold and exotic, giving a false sense of ease meant to mask the true intentions of those who surround Jenny. A lot of this can be attributed to the amazingly picturesque location (the film was shot at Isis Oasis, a retreat center and ocelot wildlife preserve in Geyserville, California), but there was clearly attention paid to the cohesiveness of the location, specific character wardrobes and set dressings as well as lighting techniques used.  

In many ways, The Commune is really a coming of age tale with a thread of thriller laced throughout and a splash of quirkiness thrown in for good measure. If you are one who has little interest or desire to watch a film which sheds light on a young girl's discovery of who she really is, in more ways than one, then The Commune might not work for you. For me, it's something I can appreciate on a number of levels. I truly enjoyed the character driven approach to what results in a fairly creepy, low-key, paranoid thriller as well as the impressive technical demeanor that was shown from someone who was essentially a first time feature filmmaker in Elisabeth Fies.

You can pick up The Commune on DVD for super cheap on the film's official website, where you can also read more about the movie, check out some other reviews and all sorts of good stuff. 

The Death of Death-cember and Other Random Crap

For the time being, the holiday season has completely made its exit from our current existence, and with that comes the end of Death-cember. Death-cember, a month where I was far from prepared to do anything whatsoever, turned out to be decent enough, all things considered. I'm happy with the posts I got up, especially with how damn busy my life was for most of the month, and Death-cember surprisingly brought about what would be the busiest month, traffic wise, CNAMB has ever seen! And for that, I have to thank you peeps out there in internetland.

Anyway, on to a new year, and with 2012 all up in our guts, I look forward to growing as a writer and making this blog the best I can make it. I have a pretty awesome new monthly segment that I actually started working on about seven or eight months ago, but just never got around to posting any of the individual posts ('cause I'm weird like that). Also, since 2011 has gone done past us up, I have begun to work on my best of '11 movie list, but I won't really do anything with that until the end of the month so I can have the chance to catch up with a few more flicks. Though, I do have quite the girthy list already. As for this month, I want to try to get a bunch of screeners and other shit out of the way, so I might make low-budget/independent horror my focus for January. And as for right now, I think I'll spend a little after holiday quality time with me wife and the Christmas lingerie I bought for her.

Somebody's getting their stocking filled all the way up this year.

Hope everyone had a great New Year, and I will see you in the DangerZone!^*

 

*_{Not Sure what the DangerZone is, but it sounded like a pretty sick thing to say at the time.}

Holiday in Handcuffs (2007): Sleighed by the Bell

I can only imagine that there are less than a few of my readers who would actually watch a movie like 2007's Holiday in Handcuffs. An ABC Family Christmas movie staring Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez does not make up the type of cinema of those who normally frequent Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, but I do know there are a select few out there whose love for bad cinema isn't solely relegated to horror and action films. There is a certain level of bad taste that one must possess to get on board and actually watch a movie like Holiday in Handcuffs, and I think the entertainment value comes from how silly and utterly ridiculous mainstream, feel-good movies can be. Like, in a way, when you laugh at a film such as this, to the point of enjoyment, it's almost as if you're laughing at what normal people actually find entertaining. It's like laughing at country music in front of people who like it.

Written by Sara Endsley and Directed by Ron "Tremors" Underwood, Holiday in Handcuffs follows the tale of an artist named Trudie (Melissa Joan Shart) whose Christmas is not going as holly and jolly as she'd like. From a botched job interview to Mr. Perfect dumping her the day before he is supposed to meet her equally perfect parents on Christmas Eve, Trudie, being the outcast of the family (aka the artist), is fearful of the prospect of once again being looked at as the family loser. But ya know, she is, so she really should just roll with the punches at this point.

Anyway, in an act of desperation, Trudie uses this antique gun displayed at her restaurant job and takes a random guy hostage with the thought that she can force him to act as her Mr. Perfect and keep her parents off her back. And guess who her Mr. Perfect replacement is? No, not Danny Trejo… it's Mario Lopez, of course. However, I think we all know the real Mr. Perfect is Zach Morris, but I guess his salary wasn't in the budget. Conquering Kelly Kapowski demands the big bucks. 

So there you have it, Trudie takes Lopez hostage, forces him to act as her beau and completely believable hijinks ensue. From convincing her parents that David has a social quirk that causes him to act as if he's been kidnapped, to an impossible chance where love is so blind that it transcends being taken hostage at gunpoint.

This being an ABC Family Christmas movie staring Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez, Holiday in Handcuffs is mildly entertaining at best and can only be relegated to those who like televised parades and minivans. Or someone like me, but I digress. Much of the fun I have watching a film like HIH (that's short for Holiday in Handcuffs) is predicting every little thing that will happen before the film even begins, only to be right almost every time. However, I also had a blast watching Joan Hart, or Hart, or whatever, constantly make these faces as if she just shot up some incredible black tar heroin. Like, I thought I was watching Intervention: The Movie for a second.

Something else I found to be pickle tickle worthy is witnessing Mario Lopez trying is damnedest not to be A.C. Slater. I mean, this guy is only three preppies, a momma and a backwards chair away from being full-on Slater. The guy cannot fight it, no matter how much relaxer he puts in his hair. 

Since I already feel like I'm running out of shit to say about this film, I suppose I can take a minute to mention the rest of the cast, which is surprisingly pretty solid. The ever lovely Markie Post plays Trudie's mom; Tim Bottoms shaves his BUSH to play her dad, while June Lockhart does her best "I'm a sassy but kind of unaware about it in a way that is simply hysterical" performance as Trudie's grandma. Oh, and mom, dad and grandma are their character names, just so you know.

Besides mentioning the cast outside of team Lopez/Hart, or Joan Hart, or whatever, and the fact that the cabin setting is off the hook dope, there's not much else I can drudge out of myself to say about this one. Depending on your specific tastes in cinema, there is a good chance that you may find Holiday in Handcuffs to be the feel good movie of 2007. Too bad it's 2011.

CNAMB Presents: Presents!

What Death-cember would be complete without a post where I show-off the Christmas goods that I received, while completely ignoring the true meaning of the holiday in a completely selfish and childish way? So here we are, only a few days after Christmas, and - despite the fact that there was not even one flake of snow to be found and the sun was shinning strong like my chest after an intense aerobics class - it was quite the wonderful Christmas celebration indeed. Of course, the fact that the overall holiday was very satisfying and fun on all fronts, the main factor for success is certainly do to all the awesome gifts I got! How selfish?!   

For this holiday season's edition of Presents, I went and saved myself the headache of having to spend an hour and a half typing, instead opting for the much elongated six hour headache of trying to make a video post with a shitty phone camera and cumbersome editing software. Soon enough I'll be able to use my actual video camera (it's a long story), and poorly synched videos littered with horrendous image quality will be a thing of the past.

Anyway, why am I typing when I already did the video? Go ahead… press play, enjoy and be sure to share the awesome gifts you received in the comments section!

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Great Gift Ideas For: Robocop

Christmas shopping can be quite the task for many of us, especially when it comes to picking out the perfect gifts for those who we love and care about the most. While it's tough searching out the perfect holiday gift for your aunt Janice, whose main interests are cat hair and cigarette butts, no one is more difficult to shop for than your local Robocop. I mean, what exactly are his hobbies? What is Robocop passionate about? What is it exactly that you could purchase that would force Murphy's gun to pop out of his leg with a joyful glee? Well, I went ahead and came up with a few great gift ideas that you can use while out making moves for the Robocop in your life.        

• A new chick - Seeing as Murphy spends much of his time moping about, daydreaming of a past relationship that is long gone, a great gift idea for him would be a gift card to match.com. I mean, who wants a bummed out Robocop around? Not me, and the only way to get his mind off that old dime piece of his is to get his oil squirting again.
• A hat - Because Robo's head is wicked off-putting, and it doesn't take much to cover that thing up. I understand he is going for the whole "I'm still a human being with emotions and feelings" look, but when it comes down to it, your head is a total gross-out, bro.    
• A bottle of stainless steel cleaner and polish - Working the streets of Detroit can take one heck of a toll on a stainless steel bod. And using a stainless steel cleaning/polishing product will not only clean Robocop right proper, it will also give him that freshly brought to life look he had when he first opened his eyes and focused on that pen.  
• A pair of middle fingerless gloves - In the event that he must extract important information, or just flip someone the metallic bird, a pair of middle fingerless gloves would be a nice way to keep Murph's hands warm without cramping his style.
• Christmas shoes - Something that has always plagued Robocop is the fact that every year when he shows up to church for Christmas mass, there is never a time where he isn't totally embarrassed by the incredible sounds his steel boots make as he strolls into god's amphitheater. A nice new pair of Christmas Shoes, tailor made to fit his specific arches, is the perfect gift to help Murphy with this problem, while also giving him a true sense of style and pizazz. Of course, no pair of Christmas Shoes would be complete without a copy of NewSong's classic Christmas shoe song, The Christmas Shoes. Suddenly, Robo's got a whole new attitude when he's walking down the aisle, ready to take that communion without any fear of standing out in front of the rest of the churchgoers.

Hopefully some of these gift ideas help inspire you to bring joy to the Robocop in your life, while also bringing joy to the world, because a happy Robocop is a hard working Robocop, right?! ED 209 best watch his non-Christian ass.