Did Someone Say Halloween?!

There have been sightings recently, small but smile inducing rumblings that Halloween is indeed creeping slowly but ever so surely upon us. I'm trying to keep my excitement at bay for the time being (and it's not easy!), however, our good friends over at Strange kid Club are diving head first into the fray with their first annual Halloween costume contest! 

This is a fantastic idea to get folks into the mood a little early (because Halloween starts in August), and it's also a great way to win yourself a few awesome Halloween related prizes, too!

For the sake of not having to stumble through a summarization of how this whole contest works, I am going to simply pull a copy and paste job from the announcement page over at Strange Kids Club to save myself some thought. I can't waste too much time thinking or else I'll fall asleep. On your lawn. Naked. If you're lucky?   

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"The weather may still be hot outside, but Halloween will be upon us before you know it which can only mean one thing… HOMEMADE COSTUMES!

To celebrate Strange Kids Club is kicking off our very first Halloween Costume Contest, but we need YOU to make it happen. This is your chance to dress up like your favorite monster, ghoul, creep, or superhero for a chance to win some awesome prizes!

One Grand Prize Winner will even walk away with $125 in Halloween-related merchandise including a Nail Mouth Halloween Mask sculpted by Justin Mabry (based on original artwork by David Hartman), Limited Edition Strange Kid T-Shirt illustrated by Glen Brogan, FREE copy of our Halloween Comix Anthology and more!

HOW TO WIN

Entering the SKC Halloween Costume Contest is easy: simply put together the most face-meltingly fearsome (or amazing) costume you can and send us a photo. Oh, and remember to follow these guidelines:

1) You can choose to become anyone or anything including a famous monster, comic book character, video game icon, cartoon character, or something completely original (the more creative your submission the better).

2) You can use store-bought items to make your costume, but the final submission MUST BE homemade (absolutely no off-the-racks costumes). Again, be creative and try to use items in original and interesting ways like having actual salad leaves for your Salad Fingers costume.

3) Have a friend or family member take a photograph of you in costume and send the final submission via email at 150dpi resolution. Please be sure to include your full name, age, address, email, and the name of the character you’re dressed as if applicable. Submissions CANNOT be digitally enhanced or tampered with (that means no Photoshop) at all and should be recent– no digging through the family photo album!

Important: We MUST receive your submission by August 21, 2011.

Selected submissions will be chosen for display on the SKC website or in future printed materials, your entry constitutes acceptance of the terms and conditions below.*

SUBMIT YOUR ENTRY TO:

Email your photo and contest details as described above in to ghostlab.ds@gmail.com"

Check Out The Taint for Free!

Not my taint but The Taint, as in the incredibly offensive, yet grossly funny, independent movie I reviewed back in January. If you want an idea as to if The Taint is something that you could get into, then take a quick refresher course by checking out my review of the movie, then you can make your way over to Vimeo (or even watch it below!) and check out the film for free, in HD, for the rest of the month! IT'S FUCKING FREE!!!

 

Dumpster Diving for Gold Episode 2: DVD Finds

Once again I have returned to bring you yet another VLOG edition of Dumpster Diving for Gold. This time around I will be going over a handful of DVD finds that I recently made during my journeys to hell and back. Hope you like the video, and thanks ahead of time to anyone that actually takes the time to watch it!



Post video thoughts:

This video is so dark, white folk cross the street to avoid it.

I actually dip my toes in hot cocoa to keep them warm.

There is no way The ButterCream Gang will ever let me join with the filth that spills from my mouth.

I have since watched Ghost Dog, and I believe it might be one of my favorite films of all time. For realz.

That's all. Peace be with you.

Polished Poop: Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2 Trailer

I have very mixed feelings about a new Laid to Rest film. The first Laid to Rest was essentially a bag of hot wolf farts, a movie so moronic I couldn't figure out if I was supposed to laugh at how stupid it is or be pissed off at its lack of competence. I generally fell towards the latter when I watched and reviewed the film, though, in retrospect, I now might be able to enjoy the unintentional humor that comes from watching "The Girl" stumble around, spewing nonsense about dead boxes as well as the handful of other ridiculous things that littered a world stalked by a killer named Chromeskull.

Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2 looks to be more of the same based off this first trailer. I'm very surprised to see that Chromeskull (Nick Principe) is still sporting that awkward shoulder cam. More so, he seems to still be using videotape?! Dude, that shit is so 2005, and that's being very generous. From what I remember of him in the first movie, Chromeskull poses about as much of a threat as Gary Coleman does now. With that said, one of the totally awesome things about Laid to Rest are the brutal, and well executed, knife kills courtesy of Chromedome, and I am fully expecting to see the gruesome ante upped in this not at all anticipated sequel.

That stars Brian Austin Green.

I begrudgingly look forward to this sequel, which is odd with my initial reaction to the first film and the bad taste left after witnessing just how poorly the film's director, Robert Hall, took to criticism of it. My expectations are very low, which isn't much of a surprise when we're talking about a Slasher flick that's using its killer's name as the title before the title, when that killer's name isn't Leatherface.   

6 Reasons to Love Deadly Prey

1. Lock and Load During Downtime, to Save Time

Opening credit sequences are really a great way to give the viewer an idea of what they are in for with the film they are about to watch, as well as a good way to pump them up for what's ahead. In Ted Prior's Deadly Prey, the opening preparation for battle credit sequence does both of these things in a fashion that I cannot fully explain in a way that is justifiable to its awesomeness. It would be like explaining the intricacies of why taking a nice long crap at work is great. It's not easy to fathom, it just is. And on that note, watch the opening credit sequence for yourself and know what it feels like to get paid to crap.

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2. Who Needs Clothes?

AKA

Shorts As Short As Private Parts Will Allow are the Only Shorts I Know

Mike Danton (played by golden god, Ted Prior) is a man of few words, but more importantly, he is a man of few clothes. For 92% of Deadly Prey, Danton wears no more than a pair of jean shorts that are so short, if he were to put on a belt, you would no longer see the shorts, just the belt.

What's great about Danton is the fact that when given the chance to arm up for a serious climactic battle, he puts on pants, yet, he still opts out of a shirt, knowing that the heat of his incredible body will be enough to keep him warm on those damp cold nights out in the woods. In addition, it keeps the homoerotism at a solid 9 on the homoerotic Richter scale. 

He must be a naval officer

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3.  Highlights are Always the Highlight

The lead hero/stud rocking a kick-ass mullet is to be expected from a cheap action film such as Deadly Prey, however, Danton goes one-step further by adding gorgeous blond highlights to his messy, but oh-so adorable, mullet. Now, these are the real deal highlights, not that frosted tips pussy bullshit. Business in the front, beach party in the back with plenty of Sun-In on hand. I know it's the only way I roll.

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4. Hidden Agenda

There are at least 25 different and completely amazing ways in which Mike Danton makes mincemeat outta mark-ass busters by using the natural wooded surroundings as cover, but there is one moment in particular that stands out as the greatest. That moment would be when Danton, who has buried himself under the leaf covered ground, grabs a mercenary by his wrist, growls like an animal about to 'get it in', and stabs the dude in the chest. Sure, my description doesn't sound all that great, but trust me here, this is a moment that will certainly make you hold back a laugh-shit.  

Leaf me alone, already!

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5. Explosive Choppers

The explosions that are to be found in Deadly Prey are truly something to behold. Grenades, in particular, appear to be quite ineffective with the little puff of smoke they let out when they go off (always behind their victims, naturally), regardless, the results are still very deadly for those that are unfortunate enough to have one land three feet behind them.

On the opposite end of the grenades spectrum is the rocket launcher, which when fired at a chopper creates an explosion so massive and powerful that even the great Peter North would be green with envy (or should I say white with envy?). I have brought along with me a series of screen grabs, all of which happen within the span of three sequential frames, to show you just how powerful this rocket launcher is, which is apparently powerful enough to turn day into night. Uh-mazing.

  Game over, man.

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6. The Right to Bear Arms, Then, Beat the Shit Out of the Bear With the Arm You Just Cut Off

From the moment he appears on screen, it is clear that Lt. Thornton (Fritz Matthews) will be the baddie that goes one-on-one in a battle to the death against our lion-esque hero, Mike Danton. The two even have a partial brawl where Thornton beats Danton, and quite effortlessly at that, which only means that when the two face-off in the finale, it's sure to be epic. 

(SPOILERS!!)

However, Deadly Prey doesn't play by the rules and ends in what is possibly one of the most shocking scenes in all of cinematic history with a battle scene that is less like a final brawl to the death and more of a Mortal Kombat finishing move. Mike Danton, after seeing Thornton shoot his wife dead, runs up, machete in hand and pecs glistening in the sun, and chops Thornton's arm off like a knife through butter. Now, while that may come as a bit of a surprise when it initially happens, things only get better from there as Danton not only cuts Thornton's arm off, he then proceeds to take the arm and beat the deadly prey right out of his punk ass. It is IN. CRED. UH. BULL.   

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These are but a few of the many reasons why Deadly Prey is a film to love and behold. To go on with your life and not experience the joy that can be had from seeing a grown man run around in daisy dukes will only lead you to utter sadness. If you want to keep from dying sad and alone, watch Deadly Prey, and all will be right with your life.

Paracinema's Dream Home

What I have here is a double dose of Paracinema love to spread all over you funk soul brothers and sisters on this here sultry supersonic evening. First up is a review I wrote for Dream Home, a Hong Kong Slasher film about a woman who decides the best way to lower the market value of her dream home is to takeout a few of the surrounding residents. And when I say takeout I don't mean take them out for a nice surf 'n turf dinner followed by an ice-cream cone with rainbow sprinkles at the dairy queen, I mean takeout as in kill their asses.

Head over to Paracinema to scope out my review, and not to totally spoil my thoughts about the film or anything, but I totally fucking loved it, and if you wanna know why I loved it, you then will be forced to read my review. Capiche?     

CLICK DA LINK!

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Meanwhile…

In other Paracinema news, Paracinema Magazine Issue #12 has just recently been made available for pre-order, and as always, this newest issue of America's premiere genre magazine is ready to sock you in the cock (or vagina) with a slew of awesome articles covering all the genres that you, and I, care about most!

Take a look fer yerself…

The Man From Australia: Falling Without a Parachute Through the Films of Ozploitation Filmmaker, Brian Trenchard-Smith
by Justin Bozung

Howling All the Way Straight to Video
by Brett Taylor

The Good, The Bad and The Fulci:
Tales of Redemption and Revenge from Four of the Apocalypse
by Christian Sellers

No Future for You: Punk Aesthetics and British Identity in Derek Jarman’s Jubilee
by Andreas Stoehr

Explorers: Exploring Childhood Escapism
by Matthew House aka me

Kiyoshi Kurosawa: Reflections on Revenge
by Joshua Samford

Now, how's that for a line-up?! And don't get it twisted, there's so much more, including a free bowl of soup, a coupon for a FULL-body massage by team Paracinema (and boy do they have strong hands!) as well as a bunch of kickass articles written by peeps that kickass!

Click Here to Pre-order…it's only $7 for crying out loud!!

Totally Tubular Trailers

Admittedly, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark hasn't really been on my radar, and that's not due to a lack of interest or anything like that. I guess it's one of those films I knew would come to me eventually. Now after having the chance to check out this full-trailer for the film, I must say, I am now at full-attention. Don't Be Afraid looks incredibly creepy in a way that screams Guillermo del Toro's involvement, and even if it's only half as good as it looks, it should be pretty solid.

On the other hand, I hate when the under the covers "trick" is used at the end of any trailer. As if I didn't know something was going to happen right then. Maybe it would've been a surprise if Gary Busey were down there instead of a creature. Now THAT would be fucking scary! 

 

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Next up I have the full-trailer for Julien Lacombe and Pascal Sid's, Behind the Walls (Derriere Les Murs). I posted the fantastic and very subdued teaser trailer for this film in my last TTT post, and this full-length trailer works well to keep the movie dead in my sights.

To watch the trailer with the English subs you have to turn the CC on, which is located right under that little arrow thing that points upward.

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Following up his 2007 breakout film, the fantastic Shotgun Stories, writer/director Jeff Nichols once again teams up with Michael Shannon for Take Shelter. The plot is very simple, focusing on a family man plagued by a series of apocalyptic visions, forcing him to obsess with preparing a bomb shelter, thus causing a rift between him and his family. Is homeboy as crazy as Charles Manson eating fruit loops on your front porch, or are his vision a sign of what's to come? It's an intriguing idea, however, an idea very similar to this was used in the form of George Sibley in the greatest television show ever (outside of Mama's Family), Six Feet Under. 

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Here I have the trailer for Miguel Ángel Vivas' Kidnapped, a Spanish home invasion film where the family is forced to fight back! Not much to say about this one except the trailer is great and the film looks very promising, however, the dubbing is immensely off putting, so hopefully when the film does see a stateside release there will be a subtitles option. 

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Our final trailer for the evening is for Eric Valette's Super Hybrid. I'll take a step back and allow this wonderful standard press kit synopsis do all the explaining for me: 

"Late one night a mysterious car is brought into the Chicago police impound garage after a deadly traffic accident. The garage's female mechanic, Tilda, and her young, hip fellow mechanics soon discover the car has a mind of its own: It morphs into different cars to confuse them, and instead of needing an engine to run, it breathes. It's a killing machine that is capable of outrunning and outwitting humans. In a high-octane fight to the death, it's our group of determined humans versus the car in this supernatural action-adventure in the vein of Stephen King's 'Christine' and 'Transformers'."

Fucking Transformers and Christine, bro! This movie is totally for all the cool kids that love Transformers and have no idea what Christine is, while nabbing all the older horror fans that think Transformers is lame-o, but totally love Christine! WIN-WIN SITCH, BITCH!! 

Super Hybrid is being released by Anchor Bay on August 23rd, and I am so fucking sold. Vroom-vroom.