Our first Goosebumps at 33 review comes in the form of The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, which aired on November 9th, 1996 during the show's second season. The story focuses of Mark and Jodie, a brother and sister who are spending the summer at their grandparents farm. Something that every kid must dream about…spending time with old people on a farm with no wifi or cable. At least the grandparents are nice and sweet, not bitter, senile and wearing a diaper filled with feces. You know, like our grandparents are.
Almost immediately, there is a clue that something is off when the not-all-there farm hand, Stanley, warns the kids about their plans to catch frogs later on in the day. In fact, Stanley's warning is a fierce one as he tells the kids: "I like frogs. You shouldn't catch them…cause if you do, the scarecrow just might end up catching you!" Oh yeah, Stanley? Great story, guy. It isn't just the warning that Stanley so rudely spewed out that rubs the young visitors as strange, but grandma and grandpa are a little off too, and I don't think it's because they aren't getting enough fiber. For breakfast, instead of grandma's famous pancakes (famous where? On the farm?), she serves up a bowl of boring old corn flakes. Barfola. To make things worse, later on in the evening the kids get to have some of grandma's yummy apple pie! YAY! Unfortunately for these selfish brats, grandma has decided to go with cherry pie this time around. I actually don't blame them for being disappointed. Cherry pie sucks. You know what's funny about this whole cherry pie and corn flake situation, though? Well, it just so happens that Stanley (you know, the one that likes frogs) loves cherry pie AND corn flakes. He also likes making threats about scarecrows, so with there being an inordinate amount of scarecrows in the corn field and the episode being titled The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, I think Jodie and Mark might be in for some serious trouble. And I'm not talking about having to change grandma's colostomy bag type of trouble either. That would be way worse.
In the end, The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight is an episode of Goosebumps, meaning, it's very much geared towards children of a very young age. Still, after watching this first episode, I do not take any issue with that as it delivers the starter horror in a serious enough way (for the age), showing a respect for the genre by keeping it simple, scary and most importantly, fun. The acting is all decent enough for the type of show it is and there was actually a familiar face to be found with a youthful Kris Lemche, who is probably best known (or, only known) as the Goth kid, Ian McKinley, in Final Destination 3.
I had a good time with this episode - which has a fantastic and totally satisfying ending, I might add - and it certainly gives me promise that I will not be spending this Chucktober with the lights off at nighttime.
While it can often instantly tap into certain fears that many people already harbor, having a film set in a singular location is like walking a tightrope past the initial setup. Does a film set in, say, a coffin, have enough meat to it to keep the audience interested in the story being told for a feature length runtime? There are plenty of situational films such as this, horror or not, and many of them can bring out an automatic fear with the premise and setting alone, whether it's people being trapped in the middle of the ocean with no rescue in sight, or, being stuck in a tightly confined elevator that has lost all power. If you're claustrophobic, have a fear of water (or in my case, sharks), the filmmaker's battle is already half won, but to win the war with the moviegoer, the situation must stay captivating, the characters plight realistic and felt by the viewer, and the film needs the right tempo from start to finish.
Adam Green's Frozen has just the setting that automatically induces anxiety for many people, with a group of three friends - Parker, her boyfriend Dan and his best friend Lynch (Emma Bell, Kevin Zegers and Shawn Ashmore…wait, Iceman?!) - finding themselves accidentally trapped on a chairlift at Mount Holliston after everyone has gone home for the night. Trapped in the frigid Massachusetts winter with no place to go but down, 50ft to the snow covered ground. There are very few things that are more uncomfortable than being cold, let alone freezing cold and not having the means to do anything about it but to try and deal with it the best you mentally can. Mixing the fear of heights, the frostbite causing winter chill, and the chances that there is no rescue in sight, Frozen has the perfect recipe for a terrible situation for its characters to be in. But does the film do what is necessary to make it past the premise?
The answer is a resounding yes, and even if the situation can be picked apart and looked at as less than plausible by folks that are looking just to do so, this is a movie that makes the best use of the bad situation in which the characters are faced. The setting alone is very intimidating in how it's brought to life, with the uneasy creaking metal of the ski lift as it dangles so high above the ground, surrounded by intense winds and an everlasting world of emptiness. An emptiness that seems so confining, while being so vast as they are trapped on such a small ski lift that is located in such a huge - yet vacant - surrounding. As they slowly realize how dire a situation they are in, the more extreme their fear becomes, knowing there are very few options out of this steel trap high above the frigid earth below.
Withthe realization that the mountain will be closed until the following Friday - and it's only Sunday - some sort of action has to be taken. The only other option is to wait out the week, which in the middle of a New England winter, 50ft in the air with no food or water, is not an option in the least. Usually a big problem with a movie set in one place like Frozen is, it can be difficult to fill in 90 some odd minutes of time without having to stretch things out in certain areas. Frozen has a brisk pace, and there is hardly a dull moment as events unfold in a timely manner, which shows just how much can be done with such a seemingly one-note situation if things are put together properly.
Okay, so moving forward I'm afraid I am going to have to get into wicked*SPOLIER*territory, so if you have not yet seen Frozen, please do not read any further. I loved it, so go and check it out (it's ten bucks at Wal-Fart), then come back and finish. I'll be here, arms open. Maybe thighs too, if you're lucky.
Frozen works past the usual horror fair by giving the viewer some incredible reveals. One simple, but nicely pulled off moment is when Parker awakens - and in her groggy state - she looks down to her bare hand that is tightly gripping the metal safety bar on the ski lift. It's very simplistic, but knowing how awful it is for her to have her hand frozen stuck only makes the overall situation that much more devastating to watch. Another major moment is when Dan – who made the bold leap to the ground, breaking both of his legs in the process - is confronted by a wolf, which is quickly frightened away by a snowboard being thrown down by one of the other characters from up above. As soon as that wolf is out of sight, it lets off this howl, a frightening howl that you know is only meant for one thing…to call in the rest of his pack for a quick bite to eat.
The moment before the viewer knows that there is anything wrong and that Dan is going to be attacked, you see an odd reaction from Lynch, who - at that moment - was trying to get to another chair by pulling himself across the razor sharp ski lift cable. As Lynch crosses, he suddenly looks down and quickly moves back to the chair as fast as he can, with no indication as to why or what is happening down below. It isn't revealed until Dan himself looks up to see a wolf right in his face, with the rest of the pack now surrounding him, ready to feast on the wounded prey. The scene is only made better by how realistic it is, in fact, the wolf scenes in general are shot so perfectly that not once - even for a second - did it appear that the wolves were not right there, enjoying themselves a midnight human snack. It's very impressive, and the restraint Green shows with the scene makes it all the more impactful.
Outside of the horror of being trapped on a ski lift and all the terrible things that come along with it, the character's reactions to the situation(s) at certain points are handled quite well. One of the key moments in Frozen that won me over was when Parker starts freaking out about what is happening to them. But instead of focusing on her own well being and safety, she talks about how her new puppy will be home all alone, with no one to take care of it. She claims that the puppy doesn't know that Parker is trapped on a ski lift and will die thinking it's been abandoned. She then goes on to simply say that she misses her mom and dad as she knows she will more than likely never see them again.
People faced with any sort of life threatening situation will - at a certain point - begin to think less about themselves and start to focus their fear on how their impending death will affect others. Namely, the people in their life that they care about most. Instead of crying about not wanting to die, appreciation for the important things in life come bubbling to the surface, and there's a sort of selfless realization that life isn't the only thing that can be lost in one's own passing. This type of emotional honesty is rarely seen in horror films, and to have something so true to human reaction happen in Frozen was a nice and very much appreciated surprise for me.
It is all of these little things that come together and really make a horror movie great beyond its hook. Realistic emotions, dimensional characters that aren't completely selfish, a film that is simply well made technically, and a level of complexity in how many events can come up in a situation that is simply, simple. The attention to making this film as real as possible as far as feeling as if you are up there on that ski lift with the characters is so important, and Green has done so with great horror tactics and characters that aren't there to simply look nice.
In the future, Frozen will be Final Girl's Film Club Pick, so if you just read this, head over HERE to read some more thoughts on this fine film! Do it, I say!
It was inevitable that we would have a prom themed dance party at some point around these here parts, what with the great chance of getting wasted, laid and everything in-between, it's a no-brainer. Proms aren't what they used to be, however, with stories of the big dance starting twenty seconds after school gets out, breathalyzers being used at the door and after parties that are thrown by the school, how can the kids have any fun with these restrictions? Might as well have prom at a church but even they have alcohol, and the confessional would make for a great make-out spot, so maybe that wouldn't be so bad after all. With that said, if we is having a prom we is having it right, and what better way to do it than to go back to a time when no one gave a crap about boning, boozing and overall excess. I would of course be referring to a time known as the early 80s, and nothing quite says bring it like Jamie Lee Curtis does in 1980's Prom Night!
You know, there's a lot to take in with this extravagant prom dance scene, including an incredible light show, a funktastic disco track, amazingly on point dance moves, even more amazing fashion styles, and still, the star of this show is clearly Jamie Lee's luftballons and the way they move about. It's like her bewbs are having their own little dance off in her top, and both are breaking it down with a fury. It's quite intense.
While Prom Night is far from a great Slasher film, it does have a few good moments, a (kind of) great opening and Leslie Nielsen being serious. But anyone that has seen Prom Night knows that it is the JLC dance scene that takes the cake, smashes it, then straight busts a move on it afterwards. It's like a really long dance scene for any movie that isn't a Step Up film, and it never gets boring, not even for a millisecond. There could be an argument made that it's the best moment in the film. I'm not sure who would even argue about anything in Prom Night, but I'm just saying. Anyways, I gotta take off for now…I need to go and practice my arm and shoulder moves for a bit, then my serious left to right head jolts. I can't look like a mark ass buster out there on the dance floor, now can I?
Ah yes, Goosebumps, a Canadian made horror television show based on the ever so popular R.L. Stine book series of the same name. Seeing as I was a massive TV horror kid, and much of what shaped me as a horror fan came from the glutton of content in the 80's and part of the early 90's, Goosebumps was never a part of that. I was simply too old. Not to watch it, mind you, and it wasn't because I was too cool or anything, I mean, I was, but that's not the reason for me never watching the series.
Goosebumps aired from 1995 through 1998, a time when I was discovering different types of genre films, from classics such as A Clockwork Orange and The Warriors as well as modern for the time independent films like Reservoir Dogs, El Mariachi and Man Bites Dog, for example. I didn't have time to sit back for a good cheesy horror-filled time as I was too busy becoming a man, in the cinematic sense.
The show came after my time, but I always had an appreciation for what it was, which is essentially a gateway drug for future horror fans of America and beyond. That's what speaks to me and always has, and for good reason too. I appreciate the influence something like Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of the Dark? can have on their young audience, because shows similar to those influenced me as a child, as well as older shows that influenced older horror fans in their youth. It's like the circle of life via horror.
I of course have seen bits and pieces of the show throughout the years, but I had never actually sat down to watch an episode from start to finish. So whenever I would see the cheap DVDs with a handful of episodes for a measly five bills, I knew that one day I would have to fulfill a sort of blanket nostalgia - that grows very strong during the Halloween season - by giving a few episodes a watch. That's what leads us to this, Goosebumps At 33, where throughout the month of Chucktober, I will watch and review a handful of the show's episodes. Basically, watching Goosebumps through the eyes of a 33-year-old male. With no life (can't forget that part).
Hopefully it will make for a fun read, even if you aren't a fan of the series or have never watched it, but it does give me a good excuse to finally give the show a watch for myself. Based off the intro - with the yellow eyed dog barking the lyrics for a blissfully brief moment - I am in for quite the treat.
I had only seen one of writer/director Joel M. Reed’s (very few) films previous to watching 1976’s Blood Sucking Freaks (aka Bloodsucking Freaks, The Incredible Torture Show, Annie), and that was a film titled G.I. Executioner, a snoozer that I found boring enough to stop watching halfway through. So even with a very controversial reputation behind it, I was trepidatious going into this one, and I even thought about turning back at one point, but I held fast and on I continued to watch. In true exploitation fashion, the plot is nearly nonexistent, focusing on an off-off-Broadway S&M torture show - in the vein of the Grand Guignol - where women are mutilated and even murdered in front of a live audience. However, to keep it realistic, the show doesn’t resort to cheap special effects or lame 3D to captivate and draw in the audience, instead, these heinous acts performed on stage are actually real.
This family friendly show is known as Sardu’s Theater of the Macabre, and is run by, well, Master Sardu (Seamus O'Brien), with the help of his midget assistant (and Lionel Richie look-a-like AND star of The Anal Dwarf), Ralphus (Luis De Jesus). What goes on behind the curtain of this horror show is even more terrible than one could, or would, ever imagine. Sardu, being the true sadist that he is, has a stable of women that he has captured, and using torture techniques, has turned them into slaves to be used however he sees fit. One of those uses is to sell the women off in what is a minute plot involving white slavery, but that is more of a method used to fund Sardu’s theatrical exploits. It would be clear that Sardu is more about having these women around to serve his own callous reasons…to torture them in as many creative ways as he and Ralphus can come up with, then using them as part of his killer act.
While some are truly fascinated by the show that Sardu puts on, there are plenty of viewers that feel otherwise, however, Sardu knows the work he is doing is true theater and should be seen and loved by all - no matter what his critics may think or say. To bring his show to the next level, Sardu kidnaps a famous ballet dancer, Natasha DeNatalie (Viju Krem), so she can give his next show a little more credibility, proving the naysayers wrong about the product he puts forth. Much of the film is based around Sardu and Ralphus trying to break this dancing queen using various acts of violence on other women to shock her into becoming Sardu’s slave, and in turn, a willing participant of the show. And the viewer is along the sick and insane ride for every second of it.
Blood Sucking Freaks is the definition of torture porn before it was a critically coined term created to degrade a specific style of cinema and the fans that watch it (whew, that was a mouthful). It’s pure exploitation, with a plot that is seemingly there only to have wicked scenes of brutal violence and incredible amounts of nudity. This film delivers both in spades, with a copious amount of unmatching carpet, and constant scenes of abuse that play from hysterically weird, to surprisingly creepy and somewhat disturbing. There is a fabulous mixture of electrocution, dismemberment, degradation, necrophilia…and that’s just the normal stuff kids. Blood Sucking Freaks is twisted, it’s dark, it’s misogynistic but there is something about it that stands out above the average B-Movie exploitation film. There is humor that is so dark that it makes the movie somewhat rise up a level, almost exploiting its own exploitation. It’s as if Reed made a film that was making fun of itself and its own ideas at times, and there are points where the movie is incredibly funny in the blackest of ways.
A few stand out scenes that are just completely out there, yet, oddly funny are when Sardu and Ralphus gamble on the results of a board game they‘re playing. Sounds normal enough, sure, but instead of cash, they use the appendages of a couple of girls, removing them on the spot as they make their bids! Then there's the scene where Sardu is enjoying a delicious dinner by candle light, however, he defies conventions by not enjoying his feast on a table made of simple wood and nails, instead, he does so on a doggie styled female, complete with candle wax dripping down her fanny and all. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, as there are plenty of wild moments that will be burned into the viewers memory long after watching Blood Sucking Freaks. I’ll just say this, when you see a feral woman remove a man’s heart, only to lovingly rub it all over her tits afterwards, you know that you are viewing something playing on a completely different level of sleaze.
There are a few moments in Blood Sucking Freaks that actually play in a very menacing and harsh way, with the main one being a scene where a doctor does some work for Sardu, and is paid by being allowed to have his way with one of the women. Instead of doing some dirty sexual deeds with his payment - in what is a drawn out and truly cringe worthy scene - the good doctor decides to slowly extract his victim’s teeth. However, it doesn’t even end there, as he then proceeds to slowly drill a hole into the top of her head, then, sticks a straw in that hole and begins to drink her fucking brains! So even during an effectively raw and tough to watch scene like this one, it is still capped off with something that is comedic in the sickest of ways.
It isn’t much of a surprise that Blood Sucking Freaks is considered one of the most offe nsive films of all time nor is it anymore of a shock to learn that the movie was attacked by WAP (Women Against Pornography) for its abusive and degrading scenes involving women. The film is quite vile, and the women are depicted as objects for mutilation, but in a way, that is the point. While I am not making an excuse for how women are portrayed, the film does these shocking things in such a tongue in cheek sort of way that it changes the landscape of it all. It is meant to be offensive, but knows it will offend and pokes fun at those that find it to be that way by going so far over-the-top. The movie itself almost mirrors what the character of Sardu is trying to achieve with his own live shows. Sardu uses over-the-top torture and sadism to create a grand show to entertain the masses, he looks at it as a form of art, and people, no matter how sick the art is, watch it. Same goes for Blood Sucking Freaks, the sicker and more degrading it is, the more people will be fascinated by it, even if it disgusts them to a certain level.
What up party people in the house?! I know you know what time it is, but if you don't then you is about to learn, shun! Today may seem like a typical Friday night on the surface, but this Friday is actually coated in an extra special caramel glaze here at CNAMB. And no, I didn't become a woman today or anything like that, instead, it is the first day of October, meaning, it's the first day of Chucktober! Now, what exactly is Chucktober you ask? Well, even if you didn't ask, here is the lowdown: The entire month of October will be celebrated in style, with all - and I mean ALL - content being of the horror variety! I know, crazy right?!
Now, this blog is already like 85% horror to begin with, but we're going all out here for Chucktober. I'm talking about all the dance parties, all the hangovers and all of the reviews will be horror or Halloween related in some capacity throughout this month of madness. I will also continue to share with you all of the fun and/or marginally interesting Halloween happenings that go down here in my real (lame) life. And lastly, there will be a special surprise or two tailor made specifically for this epic event of bearded brutality, and I know how much you love surprises that aren't of the "I'm pregnant" variety!
I know I know, you're excited, but don't waste all your energy just yet as there still be some dancing to do. This is a five Friday month(!), so lets start Chucktober off with nothing less than a simple good time. Tonight's funky track is a homemade Halloween rap that comes to us via German duo, NEtotal. Now, I really don't know much about these guys but, from what I have seen, they are a German comedy-duo that make videos like the one provided. It's always funnier when this shit is not on purpose, but this video still rocks thanks to the great lyrics and the accents that are endlessly entertaining whilst slinging rhymes.
Enjoy, and don't be afraid to check out the ghost of Chucktober past by clicking the link! *LINK*
With a resume that includes every film directed by Quentin Tarantino, Sally Menke's contribution to cinema is quite impressive, and the news of her passing is beyond unfortunate. People often overlook the importance of great editing, but the second you see a film that is poorly put together, it really sticks out like a sore thumb. An editor can control the flow, tone and direction of a film. They can make an actor look great, or completely terrible. They can even make a scene epic, or completely subdued and personal. Editors are the unsung heroes of film, and Sally Menke's contribution to the form is quite important.
Menke had received Oscar nods for both Pulp Fiction and Inglourious Basterds, and being a huge fan of Tarantino's films, I see this as a major loss as her work on his movies was so very important to their success. While her passing is saddening - especially considering her age - she will always be remembered when I watch something like that amazing car chase in Death Proof, the House of Blue Leaves scene where The Bride faces off against the Crazy 88 in Kill Bill Vol. 1, or any number of amazing scenes she helped bring to life.
It isn't just the warning that Stanley so rudely spewed out that rubs the young visitors as strange, but grandma and grandpa are a little off too, and I don't think it's because they aren't getting enough fiber. For breakfast, instead of grandma's famous pancakes (famous where? On the farm?), she serves up a bowl of boring old corn flakes. Barfola. To make things worse, later on in the evening the kids get to have some of grandma's yummy apple pie! YAY! Unfortunately for these selfish brats, grandma has decided to go with cherry pie this time around. I actually don't blame them for being disappointed. Cherry pie sucks. 
You know what's funny about this whole cherry pie and corn flake situation, though? Well, it just so happens that Stanley (you know, the one that likes frogs) loves cherry pie AND corn flakes. He also likes making threats about scarecrows, so with there being an inordinate amount of scarecrows in the corn field and the episode being titled The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, I think Jodie and Mark might be in for some serious trouble. And I'm not talking about having to change grandma's colostomy bag type of trouble either. That would be way worse.
in their youth. It's like the circle of life via horror. 
