It's once again time to take a trip over to the wonderful world of Paracinema…The Blog. If you are to do so right this very second, you can check out my incredible review for Vicious Lips (aka Pleasure Planet)! What is (or are) Vicious Lips you ask?! Well, if you must know, it's an 80's sci-fi/horror/musical/comedy, set in the future, and follows an all girl rock band that run into all sorts of crazy trouble!! How crazy you ask? Wicked crazy! Now, enough with the questions and get to the reading (by clicking here!). Oh, and have a great day.
No trailer for this one to be found, but here is a clip that is more than enough to whet your appetite, and also serve as a look into the future of Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party - Me
With the recent and unfortunate passing of Glenn Shadix, I thought no time would be better than to show some love for the Tim Burton horror/comedy classic, Beetlejuice, on Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party. Shadix perfectly played Otho, a flamboyant interior designer that was one of the unfortunate (or fortunate?) victims of the infectious Caribbean rhythms in a scene that gives us today's wonderful dance party extraordinaire.
*Warning*
It takes a good minute and a half to get to the dance party goods here, so I apologize in advance, but the lead up is, of course, worth the watch.
Written by Irving Burgie, William A. Attaway and performed by the King of Calypso himself, Harry Belafonte (who also had a total of three other songs that were used in the film), Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) was cemented as a piece of American pop culture due to its use in this scene from 1988's Beetlejuice. To be honest, Day-O is completely ridiculous (and wicked annoying during baseball games) but it so perfectly works for this hysterical scene, a scene that is really sold by the letting it all hang out performances from the cast. Especially the always amusing Catherine O'Hara, who really shines the comedic light in just about everything she does.
I don't know what else to say about this iconic musical moment outside of it being super fun in the silliest of ways, something that is not always easy to achieve. When it comes down to it, this scene speaks for itself, and I do know watching it again makes me want to revisit Beetlejuice as it has been far too long since I've seen it.
Is there anything better than watching trailers? Well, how about watching great trailers, huh? Yeah, that's right, great trailers, and we (as in me) got a bunch of them here for you today. So grab your popcorn and get ready for another set of fantastically awesome trailers!
First trailer up to bat is for the British science fiction/monster movie, aptly titled, Monsters. This is one that has been bouncing around the internet here and there, but I still don't think it's as well known as it should be. I'm honestly avoiding too much as far as the plot goes, but it is clearly a post-apocalyptic/alien invaded (past tense) film, with what looks to be a very H.P. Lovecraft influenced style of creature. The budget is reportedly only $15 thousand bucks, and I really cannot wrap my head around that figure as Monsters looks like it has way more money behind it than that number suggests. If you haven't yet seen it, check out the trailer below, and the movie will be available on On-Demand, Xbox Live, Playstation Marketplace - and all the usual online suspects - on the 24th of this month.
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Next up comes the trailer for Deserted House, South Korea's first foray into the ever-so-popular - and growing - handheld genre. I'm sure many are already over this style of film, but I personally love it and have hardly been disappointed as of yet. Plus, South Korea does have a decent track record for putting out pretty great films. However, the plot is a little on the been there, done that side with it being about a group that goes missing after exploring a haunted house with a horrible history, and the only evidence of what happened to them is to be found in the frightening footage left behind. Still, familiar or not, this non-English trailer has a few moments that are certainly worth a look.
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Keeping things in the same region, our next trailer is for Bedevilled, a movie that is being described as a Korean Slasher film, though, I would say it looks more like a revenge flick. Bedevilled is helmed by first time director, Jang Cheol-so, who has previously worked as an assistant director on a handful of Kim Ki-Duk films, so he comes from as good a film background as one can. Now, while there is an English subs trailer if you prefer, the no speaka no English trailer I have provided here is the better of the two in my opinion. You'll see what I mean when it hits the 1:20 mark, and when it comes down to it, the language of sickle into human flesh is a universal one.
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The final trailer for the day is for Adam Wingard's A Horrible Way to Die, a film about a woman who is starting over again in a new town and under a new identity, in the hopes of getting away from her incarcerated ex-boyfriend. However, things go awry when her ex escapes from prison, only to come after her, leaving behind a bloody trail along the way. The ex is played by A.J. Bowen, who is really starting to carve out a decent little nitch for himself in the horror genre. He was also quite frightening in his role in 2007's The Signal, so I can imagine he will bring the intensity convincingly enough to make A Horrible Way to Die a possibly great film to watch.
Not a bad batch, and as always, I hope there was something in there somewhere that tickled your pickle. Until next time.
Since there hasn't been a hangover worth doing for the second week in a row now, I thought I would take this time to focus on something that is of the utmost importance to me. Your safety. A buddy of mine showed me this workplace safety video some time back, and while I have seen plenty of classic safety videos, this is one that comfortably sits on a throne of blood, ruling over all others. The wonderful music, the phenomenal acting, and of course, the gruesome, incredibly violent and blood soaked deaths! This shit is like watching a Final Destination film in under five minutes, but better! I shall give ye a warning as this video does contain many violent images that kick a ton of ass, but it is OSHA approved, so it's okay.
Here we go again, with yet another funkdafied edition of Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, and boy did you pick a hell of a time to check what we got going on up in here. I see a cat like you strolling in, looking all decked out, ready to do this party right, and we have just what the doctor ordered to make your night nothing short of alright. What you need? Want some coke? Have some weed? You know me, I'm your friend, your main boy, thick and thin. I'm your Pusherman.
Written and performed by the great Curtis Mayfield, Pusherman appeared on the 1972 album, Super Fly, which would double as the official soundtrack to the Blaxploitation classic of the same name. Deservingly ranked on numerous best album lists, Super Fly is one of the greatest to come out of the era as well as one of the best to come from a Blaxploitation film. The anti-drug themed collection has plenty of unforgettable tracks from Superfly to Freddie's Dead, but my personal favorite of the bunch is Pusherman. There's something about the way Mayfield speaks the raw point of view lyrics in a fashion that, while not actually being sung, still comes off as very soulful. It simply gives off this cool vibe, and the way his meaningful words simply flow off of his tongue are certainly a major piece of influence on Hip-Hop music.
I was actually planning to use the Mayfield in film club performance from Super Fly because I simply love that scene, but I also love the monologue that Carl Lee (who ironically died of an over-dose) gives at the beginning of this clip too. It perfectly sets up the awesome drug dealing/making moves photo montage, which plays as an integral turning point for the film's characters. If you've never seen Super Fly, it is a must, but if for whatever reason the genre isn't your bag, then the music is most definitely worth your time.
*Spoiler Warning* If you aren't familiar with the story of The Last House on the Left, then there are spoilers in this review. However, everything I have written here is shown in the trailer, but I feel a warning is still worthy. -Me
Not all remakes are created equal and while this is a time when remakes are one of the biggest downfalls, complaint inciters and problems with the movie industry, it isn't so much remakes that are the problem, it's the people behind them. Shitty movies are always abound, it's not just remakes of films that we horror fans hold near and dear to our heart that muck up the cinemas. However, they do encapsulate the many issues Hollywood has, namely the lack of creativity and respect for the art of film. Taking what once was great, only to churn out a lesser version for the sake of a quick buck.
As is the case with all cinema, there's the good, there's the bad, and occasionally we are graced with a remake that is done properly. This would be the case with 2009's reboot of the Wes Craven/Sean Cunningham exploitation classic, The Last House on the Left. The story remains similar enough to what was done back in 1972, focusing on two teenage girls, Mari and Paige (Sara Paxton and Martha MacIssac), that are abducted by a demented family of criminals led by an escaped convict named Krug (Garret Dillahunt). After Paige is murdered, and Mari brutally raped, the gang unknowingly take refuge in the summer home belonging to Mari's parents. Woops.
As was the case with the last Last House, this version is simply a modern retelling of The Virgin Spring, putting a set of parents in the position to face the people that would bring harm to the child that they brought into the world. One of the big differences between both this take and the previous versions of the story is that their daughter survives and (barley) makes it home, which is partly how the parents become aware that it was their houseguests that did this to her. While it seems like it may have been a commercially acceptable attempt to take away from the shock of having both girls murdered, it actually works on a different emotional level, as the father knows that one of the men, staying in his home, raped his own daughter.
What works about the film in comparison to the original, is the fact that it is a glossy and well-crafted update. One of the many complaints for a remake of a gritty film from our past is that the new one will be an overly pretty-fied version that will have no chance of capturing what was done in the original. However, that is what actually works for this incarnation. I've already seen a grimy and grungy version of The Last House on the Left, so seeing the story with a different pallet actually gives the film its own identity. To be a successful remake, there needs to be a separation form the source material and to go with a stylistic and well-crafted version is a major departure from 72's Last House.
Another major piece of the successful remake puzzle is being able to somewhat improve upon what was done with the original film. While I love Craven's Last House, and consider it an exploitation classic, it is certainly not without its problems. Two that immediately come to mind are some of the dialogue scenes between the parents as well as everything involving the two police officers. Overall, in this update, the dialogue is solid and mostly natural for all the characters, including the teenage girls, the rents and the gang of psychos. And of course, there is not a cop in sight, but it would be hard to not improve upon the police scenes that were found in the '72 Last House. Even if one of the cops was the leader of the Cobra Kai.
With Last House being a rape revenge film, it is that aspect that works as the film's vengeful drive. While this update is not nearly as brutal as its predecessor, it definitely has its moments and the rape scene itself is a tough watch, as it should be. However, there is an emotional additive that was not found in the Craven film, and after the rape there is an intense and uncomfortable quietness between a few of the characters, namely the female of the group, Sadie (as played by Riki Lindhome), that spoke volumes as to how heinous an act it was, even to a couple of seemingly heartless murderous thugs. No matter how bad of a person she is, Sadie is still a woman, and rape is one of the worst things that can ever happen to one, so this was a nice touch of humanity to see her slight but important reaction to the events.
Now, I'm giving this film a lot of credit, and while it is mostly deserving, it is not without its own faults. While the cast is actually quite impressive all around - with a group of actors that have collectively seen a fair share of genre work - they all sure are purdy. I'm fine with the parents and teenage girls being attractive – they are the seemingly perfect people that are having their lives thrown into chaos, so they should fit that mold. But why can't Krug's gang be at least a little bit ugly? Not a one of them is nothing short of attractive, and no amount of creepy facial hair and snarling can take that away from their looks. It truly speaks volumes as to the difference between 70's cinema and the cinema of today. Ugly people were put in film for that reason and David Hess is an ugly dude and so isn't the entire gang in 72's Last House, and they are a whole lot more intimidating than the '09 crew because of it.
There are other minor faults (some would state the film's final moment as one, which I somewhat liked in a throwback to outrageous 80's horror sort of way) and this movie is far from perfect, but director Dennis Iliadis made a film (with the help of both Craven and Cunningham) that takes from the original what was necessary and crafted a movie that can stand on its own two feet…even if the house isn't actually the last one on the left or not.
If you weren't already aware, there is very little as far as shopping goes in my crack of the butt. The closest mall is about an hour drive, so when ever my filet of solemate and I get the chance to make it to an area with a copious amount of shopping to do, it's somewhat of an exciting thing. This past weekend we went to an area with a lot of strip malls, as well as a regular mall, and I of course had one thing on my mind…
I know for a fact that when I see a store of this size, with a sign made of dreams and wet butterfly kisses, I am in for a real treat. Deciding to save this behemoth for last was a good call since it would give us – well…me - something to look forward to after our adventures at the mall. However, nothing can take the gas right out of your ass quite like driving up, only to see a sign that says "Opens September 1st!" If you look at the date, like right now, it's not September 1st. Not even a little bit. This treat quickly turned into a trick right before my eyes, and to say all my dreams were suddenly crushed and pooped on would be an understatement.
However, there was a sliver of magical dust that was sprinkled on this darkened day, which came in the form of a Yankee Candle store that was located at the mall. After much deliberating - and sniffing - me lady and I decided that the scent of Farmer's Market would best suit the festivities known as fall. Seriously, it smells so incredible that I simply cannot get enough of it. I accidentally got some on my fingers and just couldn't hold back from smelling them constantly all day long afterwards. Imagine what the cashier at the gas station must've thought, especially since I was there to use the toilet.
To go with this candle of awesome - and after another majorly tough decision - I picked out this wonderful Flickering Haunted House Jar Shade. You can clearly tell that this thing is rad in the photo, but of course, there is not a photo that can truly capture just how great this thing looks when it's dark and it illuminates my surroundings with spooky specters and happy haunts. It's Halloween happiness in the purest form, and it should certainly hold me over until September 1st hits.
