Man, after a mention in Paracinema magazine, things just keep going in the direction of positive when it comes to Eating Babies...Chuck Norris style! Tonight I was informed that Chuck Norris Ate My Baby received another award - I received a bunch back when I started Eating Babies, and those moments were certainly proud ones, but to receive an award of this magnitude is epic to say the least. What is the award you ask? It's "The 2009 HOT ZOMBIE AWARDS: For Excellence in Horror Blogging!" and my award specifically was for the "Blog With the Catchiest Title, EVAH!" This was presented to me by one of the big dogs in horror blogging, Pax Romano over at the finest of the fine horror blogs, Billy Loves Stu! Thanks Pax, I am beyond excited to be recognized by someone as dope as yourself!
In return, I would like to explain the birth of the title Chuck Norris Ate My Baby in honor of receiving an award for that specific title...I was thinking about starting my own blog, but had no clue what to call it. It was pretty late, probably after work, so I would guess around one or two in the A.M. and I was eating a bowl of cereal when it came to me...“Chuck Norris Ate My Cereal!!” Not bad, I thought...then, in a flash of brilliance, and maybe because of a hunger for innocence, in my head popped, "Chuck Norris Ate My Baby!" I thought it was magical to be honest with you, and I guess my so-called brilliance has paid off as I have been recognized for it with this sick ass award!
Also in return, I would like to honor Pax with an award that may make him puke with awesomeness...it is the honorary "Chuck Norris Black Belt of Blogging" award! this is an award that will be very difficult to accept as it holds power beyond all that is known by man, but I think Pax can handle that shit! Thanks Pax!
And so it begins - the yearly decorating for my favorite of holidays, Halloween! I'm super excited to be able to share some of my Halloween love with you all through Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and I'm sure there will be more than a few posts concerning the subject of Ol' Hallow's Eve. In my first Halloween themed post, I thought I would share with you a couple of photos of my so far decorations! Here, at the front door of the ol' Baby Eating lair, I have put together a nice conglomeration of horror imagery with a couple of sick looking gravestones that I have had in my "possession" forever, a random skull and hand, along with my newest addition, the skull dude with cloak that I bought for a measly $10! In the window of the front door, you will notice an Eaten Baby skeleton just hanging around, along with some masterfully done spider webs! There will be more added to this as I will put some tight pumpkins going down the stairs for added awesome Halloween effect and I'm sure I will find something cool in stores to add - in any event, I think it looks quite nice so far!
One of the coolest things about the new Baby Eating lair is, there's a fireplace! And where there's a fireplace, there's a mantle for me to cover with Halloween goodies! It may be hard to see everything on the mantle, but I have the mummy dude and the three headed dude (or dudes?) that came from Yankee Candle thanks to the awesome, Lady-Suzaka. There is the skeleton faux candle holder that if you notice only has one light that is working...well, I've had that thing for about 16 years, but some of the other lights will all of the sudden start working from outta no where...like it's possessed! So I don't replace them 'cause I'm weird like that. I love the glass pumpkin candy holder that we got a few years ago, but I had no candy to put in it yet, so I put a couple packages of Ramen noddles in there for the time being. I should point out, if you look closely, you will see the one and only Bruce Campbell and myself in that picture!
Alright, that is enough excitement outta me for now...I'm sure I will be back soon with some more Halloween love, but in the meantime, there are a few blogs that I will direct you to that love to share the Halloween wealth! The first one is Freddy in Space- Not just specifically a Halloween themed blog, as it is a horror blog in general, but John loves Halloween and often puts up some great and very fun posts concerning the Season of the Witch. Another one is, Frog on the Pumpkin - A full on Halloween themed blog filled with all sorts of haunts and scares for any Halloween fiend to enjoy and love! Any suggestions for good Halloween themed blogs, or if you have any good Halloween stories, please feel free to share them!
Only about a week ago, I posted about the newest issue of Paracinema Magazine, issue 7 to be exact. I received my copy in the mail today, and while thumbing through the issue before I left the house for a long ass day of errand running and doctor's appointments, I made a discovery. What is that discovery you ask? Well, every issue of Paracinema has a section titled "Dawn of the Blog," which spotlights a cult film blog in every issue. And much to my delight, this very own blog that you are reading right here, Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is the Dawn of the Blog feature for issue 7! As some of you may know, in the past year I have been all over CNN, in Cosmo, but I am beyond elated about being featured in Paracinema Magazine for my blogging efforts! Pick up issue 7 (here) so you can read the overly kind words that were written about CNAMB, and while you’re at it, read some of the amazing articles that are in there...I know I can’t wait to read the one about Candyman and the history of Chicago’s Cabrini Green Housing Projects, amongst many other great articles! Thanks to the adorable Dylan and the lovely Christine for showing some love by partaking in the Baby Eating...Chuck Norris shall never Eat their Babies. Unless they want him to that is...
Hello my pretty little princesses! I got a couple of great little trailers to share with you all in this edition of Totally Tubular Trailers. I hope that you all see something that you have not yet seen, and hopefully your interest is piqued as was mine when I initially watched these trailers! Well, enough flirting...lets do this!
First up is a Thai film titled, Slice that once again brings together writer, Wisit Sasanatieng and director, Kongkiat Komesiri. Slice's story has been compared to Silence of the Lambs wherein after the murder of a government officials son, the police seek the help of an imprisoned former hit man turned informant to help them bring in a serial killer that has been mutilating the genitalia of the antagonist's male victims (YACK!). The hit man agrees to helps them, in return for his freedom of course, but there's a stiplulation - the hit man’s wife is also held hostage to ensure he does what he has promised, which is catch the murderer within a 15 day time frame. You will see some great visuals and nice looking and highly stylized color palates used in this trailer, along with a hefty dose of violence and some bloodshed. No English a be a spoken with this trailer, but as with any trailer I put up without subs or dubbing, it is well worth the watch.
Next up, and in holy crap...I can't wait for this one news, here is the teaser for Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy. I would take an educated guess and say you already have figured out the subject matter of this upcoming documentary - of course, it covers the legacy of my favorite horror franchise, A Nightmare on Elm Street! *Cue the cheers* Just in time for the Nightmare remake His Name Was Jason director, Daniel Farrands takes a "stab" at Freddy Kruger in this upcoming two disc DVD set (!!). I LOVE documentaries, and even more so when they are ones about movies...and even more so when they are covering movies as important to me as the Nightmare series. His Name Was Jason was... okay, but I really hope for much better when it comes to the man of our dreams, maybe something along the lines of the fantastic Halloween doc, 25 Years of Terror?! No release date yet on Never Sleep Again, but I would gamble that it will be out before the remake hits theaters, which is slated for April.
Our last trailer for this warm and snugly evening, belongs to yet another Thai film, the female driven action flick, Vanquisher.Vanquisher follows bad-ass female CIA agent, Genja (Sophita Sribanchean) as she becomes the victim of the very same agency that she works for, when they set her up to be assassinated. Of course you know that shit ain't gonna happen easily and this fine ass femme fatale is gonna put up one heck of a fight...all while looking fine as all hell! This trailer is filled with some of the most insane, over the top, nonstop action and it looks like it will deliver everything and anything you would want in an action film. It will be a while before we find out if it does deliver on the goods promised in this trailer, as Vanquisher opens it Thailand in November of this year, with no U.S. release date as of this time.
That about does it - hope you saw something you had not before, and even more so, I hope you enjoyed what you saw in my small collection of trailers this time around. Laters!
Hey hey! Just posted a review for the Pink film A Lonely Cow Weeps at Dawn, brought to us by the good people over at Pink Eiga! Pink Eiga is the go to distribution company for Pink films, and they have put out quite a large number of interesting titles since their inception only a few years ago. For those of you who do not already know, Pink Eiga (or Pink Film) is a low budget, Japanese soft-core erotic film that usually covers genres along the lines of action and general sexploitaion. Sometimes delving into other genres like comedy and drama, Pink films are a huge market in their native Japan, and have become increasingly popular over here in the states as of late. According to someone that knows more than I do, there are rules that must be followed to make a Pink film...umm, Pink?!
1. The film must have the requisite number of sex scenes (typically a minimum of five). 2. The film must be approximately one hour in length (perfect for the Pink Eiga triple-bill format). 3. It must be shot on 35 mm film (or occasionally 16mm) in a week and finished within one month. 4. The film must be completed within an extremely limited budget (around $35,000 US).
Okay, hope someone learned something out of all that jibber jabber...there is a whole lot more when it comes to Pink films and their many genre incarnations, so check out the wiki page for some more info. I personally enjoy what I have seen from the Pink Eiga company, though the films are real good at making you feel slightly uncomfortable in all their insanely sexual glory, as was the case with A Lonely Cow Weeps at Dawn - which is possibly the strangest movie to make it's way into any review I have ever done. Watch the NSFW trailer below, and you will get an idea what I mean!
Now, don't let that trailer scare you completely off! It is super odd and totally unacceptable for some, but there is more there than meets the eye. If you are curious as to what I mean, then now would be a great time to go ahead and click on the link and read my review! Hope you enjoy!
Wocka wocka wocka! Thought I would take this time to compile a list of some of my favorite funny film moments. Keeping with the content that I normally post about, I will not include classic comedy scenes from the likes of Caddy Shack, or The Jerk, and other films of that ilk. Instead, I choose to do scenes from cult films that fit in with the normal Baby Eating subject matter, but even then, I will stay away from the more obvious films, such as An American Werewolf in London, or Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn. I could probably make this a top 30 list and 1 through 30 could be from Troll 2 alone, and to be honest with you, it would still probably be wicked funny. However, I cannot go the easy rout and I did put some thought into it, while also putting as much variety in the types of films these scenes stem from. And now, the list shall begin…
5. Mars Attacks - This is what it sounds like, when doves cry
I had a ton of trouble finding a shorter clip, so just fast forward to around 7:30...ma bad. Oh, and it's in French too, but that kinda makes it funnier?!
This entire scene is comedy at its best in how it’s built up and ultimately executed, but I am more concentrating on a certain smaller moment in the fantastically funny, Tim Burton alien invasion classic, Mars Attacks. Not even sure if it’s that funny to anyone else, but to me, it’s flat out hysterical…the scene that the actual moment takes place in, is when the Martians first meet with the leaders of the world. Things seem to be going great and so far the Martians thankfully seem friendly and peaceful…that is until a silly hippie type decides to express his patchouli happiness by releasing a dove into the air in honor of peace! The shirt he is wearing and how he softly sets free the dove into the air as he says, “They came in peace” is so funny to me. Even better, is when the Martians flip out from the sight of the flying creature and immediately shoot it down, turning it into nothing more than a pile of burnt up incense. Nice job ya hippie jerk off!
4. Kung Fu Hustle - Have a knife day
Love Stephen Chow and love Kung Fu Hustle. It’s just a super fun mix of amazing Martial Arts fighting, drama, and of course, the reason why I bring it up, humor. Kung Fu Hustle, along with most the films on this list, has a ton of great comedic moments and/or scenes that could easily make this top 5 list that I have put together for you. With that said, one of my favorite comedy scenes in the film is when Sing, (played by Chow) and his good pal Bone (played by Chi Chung Lam), plan to take out the dreaded landlady to prove themselves to the almighty Axe gang. Sing and Bone are quite inept when it comes to gangbangin’ and the result is Sing being stuck with more sharp implements than Pinhead. I love how well the physical humor is done in this film and especially in this scene; one of the best moments is when Sing meets Indiana Jones’ worst fear, snakes. Perfectly executed and the look on his face is just priceless.
3. Pieces - Cobra Kai, never die!
Not unlike Troll 2, Pieces is a film that is filled with numerous funny moments. One of my personal favs is when the character of Mary (Lynda Day George) is attacked by an Asian man - that of course knows KARATE! After this jumpsuit jump-kicker gives this bitch a beat down, he just passes out!? Why? Well, you find out when Kendall (Ian James) shows up and informs Mary that the man is non other than his Kung fu professor, and as the man from Hong Kong comes to, he explains that it must have been some bad Chop Suey that he had eaten, that may have caused the lapse in judgment! After his great explanation for assaulting a woman, he just says “See you later!” to Mary and Kendall, then jogs off into the darkness as if nothing happened, with no charges pressed whatsoever. Not sure what sense that makes, but it’s fucking hysterical for sure. I think when you beat-up a pretty blond lady, you are in for a tough night in the slammer, but that’s not the case with Pieces…maybe Chris Brown could take some notes and try the bad Chop Suey excuse next time.
2. Jack Frost - Snowman does a little plowing of his own…
I haven’t seen Jack Frost in so long, but I will always remember that one scene that anyone who has watched the film will remember with great psychotic glee. I’m sure it’s obvious that I am not referring to the “Jack Frost that is getting a second chance to be the world's coolest dad... if he doesn't melt first.” I of course mean the Jack Frost with the pissed off killer snowman, and the scene is when Shannon Elizabeth uses her natural storage container to keep a certain snowman’s carrot nice and fresh. It’s one of the stupidest things I have ever seen, but it is also on of the funniest in how unbelievable the scene is. The actual moment I speak of happens at 1:50 into the provided video, (but I encourage you to watch the whole thing due to it being very entertaining) and starts with Elizabeth, who after blow-drying her hair, decides to take a bath (?). Unfortunately, for Elizabeth’s character, Jack Frost is feeling a little dirt-teh too and decides to join her so he can clean out his “misplaced” carrot…if ya know what I mean. I cannot even handle the music in this scene and the thought of a snowman raping a girl is just…a thought I thought I would never have. Thanks to Jack Frost, I have had that thought now.
1. American Movie - For the shits and for the birds
American Movie is definitely my all time favorite documentary - and a film that I have loved since the first time I was welcomed into the lives of Mark Borchardt, his family, and his bat shit crazy friends. There are a plenty of scenes I could've went with in this hysterical film, but I narrowed it down to the one when Mark is attempting to get his Uncle Bill to cooperate on a scene he is shooting for the horror masterpiece, Coven. I love Uncle Bill and think he was so awesome, and I love how irritated he constantly gets when being around his obnoxious and overbearing nephew, Mark. Uncle Bill is most annoyed here as he tries to deliver a line of dialogue with numerous unsuccessful results. “It’s all right, it’s okay, there’s something to live for, Jesus told me soooo…” is a line that Bill just can’t get right, and Mark trying to direct him isn’t making anything any easier for Uncle Bill, who would much rather chill 'til the next episode in his frighteningly filthy trailer. I don’t blame him, it is wintertime in Wisconsin, he is old and tired, and it’s take 31 already. I love that at the end of the clip, when Uncle Bill is all done saying he wont do anymore takes, Mark says “I‘m gonna see what we have to work with” like he is frustrated with Bill’s lack of cooperation…cooperation that lasted 31 takes mind you!
So, that’s my list and I’m sticking to it! Hope you had a chuckle or two, and if you have any funny moments of your own to add, please feel free.
What up partner?! I see you've decided to take a trip and explore the wild side of you inner dance machine this fine and lovely evening. Well, my young and influential friend, you quite possibly have made the greatest decision in your life, because you just came into the hottest thing since two-ply toilet paper...Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!! YEAHHHHHHHHHH! This is the dopest club in town, with the flyest women, the coolest dudes, and the strongest Quaaludes in all of Mexico! And we're not even in Mexico! Imagine that! First round is on me, and remember that if I give you any powdered mixes to secretly put in a pretty lady's drink later on...kay?! It's alright, there just vitamins that they sometimes forget to take at night when they're partying hard, I just wanna look out for their health and shit dawg...just don't tell them about it! We got each other’s backs here at Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, we also have each other’s venereal diseases as well...but you gotta take the good with the bad I guess. YEOWWWWWA!! Let’s cut the chitchat and turn this mother out already! You really picked a sick night to walk in these doors, as we have the most super of special DJs this evening...straight outta Nilbog, we got da hottest of da hot, the one who don't stop with the body drop - I present you, DJ Holly Waits!! And what's this that she's brought with her?! Oh snap! It's Hunger Pains, by hip-hop revolutionaries, The Electric Duck Experience Ltd.!
Great...is that guy over there eating eggs?! BLECH!
Boy I cannot get enough Troll II, and if this isn't one of the greatest things you have ever seen, then I am sorry, but you have to leave the club immediately! I don't know anything about who put this Hunger Pains video together, but it is totally brilliant and one of the funniest things I have ever watched. Troll II is just one of those rare films that inspire people to make shit like this, and there are a ton of great clips and fan made videos strewn throughout you tube that are inspired by the worst movie of all time, but this is one of my favorites fosho. Certainly deserving of a proper dance party it is, and like Yoda I speak, for reasons I am not sure of.
Enough of that crap, how bout that DJ tonight? Man, that Holly Waits woman is right off the meat rack, son! OWWWWWWA! I bet she could use a nice dose of vitamins...err, you know, because she has a bit of a cough and we would want her to go back to Nilbog sick...right?! Anyways, hope you all enjoyed tonight’s Dance Party, it was a pleasure having you and chances are that it would pleasure you to have me sometime.
In return, I would like to explain the birth of the title Chuck Norris Ate My Baby in honor of receiving an award for that specific title...I was thinking about starting my own blog, but had no clue what to call it. It was pretty late, probably after work, so I would guess around one or two in the A.M. and I was eating a bowl of cereal when it came to me...“Chuck Norris Ate My Cereal!!” Not bad, I thought...then, in a flash of brilliance, and maybe because of a hunger for innocence, in my head popped, "Chuck Norris Ate My Baby!" I thought it was magical to be honest with you, and I guess my so-called brilliance has paid off as I have been recognized for it with this sick ass award!
