Well, it’s Sunday afternoon, your dry heaving, your lungs feel like you smoked ten packs of butts, and your underwear is on backwards…that must mean it’s time for The Horror Hangover!
First up on the karate chopping block, comes a day of Stephen King made for TV mayhem over at SyFy. Starting out with part one of Stephen King’s The Langoliers (1995) at 9:00, followed up with the conclusion at 11:00. If you’re still hankering for some King action after The Langoliers, Part one of Stephen King’s The Tommyknockers (1993) is on at 1:00, with it’s conclusion at 3:00. That’s a 9-5 day of King, a full day of madness, if you will.
If you aren’t down with the crown, then ABC Family put's 'em in a body bag with an all day marathon of Karate Kid movies! Kicking things off with William Zabka’s The Karate Kid (1984) at 10:00, followed by The Karate Kid Part II (1986) at 12:30, then moving onto The Karate Kid Part III at 3:00, and finally finishing things off with The Next Karate Kid (1994) at 5:30. I love The Karate Kid…it’s a fact. The first two films are just fantastically fun movies that I hold near and dear to my heart and I still want to get my self a yellow outfit like the one Chozen wore, just so I can show up to parties on a zip line. I even love the third movie, but that is in a more cheesy, American Ninja way. Fourth film? Eh. Seriously, dude…there is no better way to spend a day feeling like Miyagi after a night of sake, than to spend it with The Karate Kid!
Alright, now that the all-dayers are out of the way, we can move onto Assault on Precinct 13 (2005), which is playing on FX at 10:30. It’s not a terrible movie by any stretch, but it is a remake that added nothing to what was done (with very little) in the original. It is the prime example of a remake that has no real purpose, but it’s watchable and Drea de Matteo is pretty hot. Ethan Hawke can eat it, though. Why does that guy get movie roles?
At 2:05, IFC is showing Primer (2004), a film I have never seen, but really want to, as I have heard very good things about it from many people. It’s a complex micro-budget Science Fiction film about time travel and at a scant 77 minutes, Primer is honored with my pick of the week. And just an FYI, it’s also available on Netflix instant view for anyone that doesn’t get a chance to check it out today.
3:00 has us finishing off our day with a wet fart, with Escape From L.A. (1996) on AMC. ‘Cause nothing says movie classic, quite like Escape From L.A.! The movie is such a pile, but I can’t help but get a kick out of Snake surfing and playing a little b-ball!
Okay baby boomers…I’m out of here. I have to go put on my gi and get ready for the Karate Kid marathon, so I’ll see you all on the flip side!