Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Time Is Near, But Not Nearly Close Enough, Apparently

If you weren't already aware, there is very little as far as shopping goes in my crack of the butt. The closest mall is about an hour drive, so when ever my filet of solemate and I get the chance to make it to an area with a copious amount of shopping to do, it's somewhat of an exciting thing. This past weekend we went to an area with a lot of strip malls, as well as a regular mall, and I of course had one thing on my mind… 

I know for a fact that when I see a store of this size, with a sign made of dreams and wet butterfly kisses, I am in for a real treat. Deciding to save this behemoth for last was a good call since it would give us – well…me - something to look forward to after our adventures at the mall. However, nothing can take the gas right out of your ass quite like driving up, only to see a sign that says "Opens September 1st!" If you look at the date, like right now, it's not September 1st. Not even a little bit. This treat quickly turned into a trick right before my eyes, and to say all my dreams were suddenly crushed and pooped on would be an understatement.

However, there was a sliver of magical dust that was sprinkled on this darkened day, which came in the form of a Yankee Candle store that was located at the mall. After much deliberating - and sniffing - me lady and I decided that the scent of Farmer's Market would best suit the festivities known as fall. Seriously, it smells so incredible that I simply cannot get enough of it. I accidentally got some on my fingers and just couldn't hold back from smelling them constantly all day long afterwards. Imagine what the cashier at the gas station must've thought, especially since I was there to use the toilet.

To go with this candle of awesome - and after another majorly tough decision - I picked out this wonderful Flickering Haunted House Jar Shade. You can clearly tell that this thing is rad in the photo, but of course, there is not a photo that can truly capture just how great this thing looks when it's dark and it illuminates my surroundings with spooky specters and happy haunts. It's Halloween happiness in the purest form, and it should certainly hold me over until September 1st hits. 


  1. Oddly, they are putting two Halloween Stores in in the same shopping center this year out here Matt, Ive never seen it done, but one thing is clear: Im going to have to spend twice as much money this year.

  2. So can we all just officially announce September 1st as the start of the Halloween season then???

  3. That shade is pretty damn cool, meng. And our local Hy-Vee grocery stores have had Halloween candy put for @ 3 weeks already... shit's gonna be stale by the time Halloween actually gets here.

  4. Oh I love that shade!!

  5. There's this place near my place where this huge-ass Halloween store rents every year, and they leave after Halloween, and just leave the boxes inside for next year.

    That shade is awesome.

  6. Hell yeah, I'm already in the Halloween spirit as well. I live for those Halloween stores. I rarely spend much there (because I'm cheap), but I love going to them.

  7. Carl: Wow, that would be a dream come true! That store was in Fort Wayne Indiana, but last year we went to one in Columbus that was in an old Circuit City building, and it was incredible, to say the least! I could spend hours in a place like that.

    Emily: I already do, so you have my vote!

    Astro: Thanks! Yeah, some places have had shit out since the beginning of August. It just makes me fiend even more. I bet Christmas stuff will be showing up in the next few weeks!

    Stine: Thanks...It looks so cool, and I simply love stuff where light shines through some sort of design like that. Preferably something that is Halloween related, of course!

    Simon: Thank you! I am gonna have to take an off season trip to this store with a couple of trash cans and a brick!

    Rev!: I always buy a few things, but I avoid going crazy as I am also somewhat cheap too. I do love them, though, and they always put me in a great mood.

  8. There is a year round Halloween store in an old Linen's 'N Things a few miles from my place. When I first found out about it, I would go there more than a Jesus freak goes to church.

  9. I'm glad your rotten eggs turned into a 5 star omelet because here where shopping is only a block away walking, no vestiges of All Hollows Eve until September as well.

    The big costume stores are just boxes mazes currently filled with candy corn and slutty nurse outfits.

    Fall scented candles are great! They should make one that smells like a school hallway to really get you into the spirit.

  10. That's how it was where I used to live...tons of places to find Halloween goodies. Of course I peeked inside to get a glimpse of the Halloween awe4someness, but that only made things worse for me!

  11. "Imagine what the cashier at the gas station must've thought, especially since I was there to use the toilet"--haha, that cracked me up! It reminded me of a similar situation that happened to my dad years ago (long story), and my family and I still give him a hard time about it to this day :) Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting my hands on some Halloween candy really soon (I'm trying to hold out for a few more weeks), and maybe making some caramel apples...yum!

  12. Mmmm...I can smell the Farmer's Market from here. Yay for fall!

  13. Dorian: Ha ha, your poor dad! I was checking out some Halloween candy today, but I fought the urge to buy some. If I do, I will eat all of it in a day or two, which is probably not a good thing!

    Becky: It's a wonderful scent and really gets me in the mood for the season! I am starting to curse at summer so it can end and fall can begin already.


Most Popular Posts

Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is in no way endorsed by or affiliated with Chuck Norris the Actor.