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Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Horror Hangover

hangover1

Now, THIS is a serious Horror Hangover I have going for you all this Sunday. And boy do you need it, especially after what you were up to last night…singing along to songs from Grease thinking that the girls you were singing along with would ever think about boning you afterwards – taking body shots off of that girl with the bumpy neck – eating bar peanuts…that were on the ground. In the bathroom! So, lucky for you, this hangover is Epic like Faith No More. 

We'll start off with the random stuff to get you rolling nice and smooth. AMC gets us going with Virus at 11:00, a movie that I saw in theaters and hated so much that I never would dare to return. Now, sometimes I wonder if I would possibly find something to enjoy about a film I hated back when I was younger, but I do know I was incredibly disappointed back when it came out. I am curious as to what others think about the film, though.

virus

Next up, the Horror Hangover gets mad funky, with the Martial Arts film, Iron Monkey. At 2:15 on IFC (I didn't want to mess up that flow). I can't recommend Iron Monkey enough, and unless you do not have IFC, you have no reason not to give this high-flying action film a view. For the last random movie of the day, FX does us all right with Doomsday at 4:30. I haven't watched Doomsday since I saw it at the movies, but I did enjoy it and would like to revisit it again at some point, even though that one chick couldn't keep her gonorrhea covered tongue in her mouth for more than ten seconds. Seriously, we get it, you're down with the sickness.

Alrighty, getting into the group rate portion of the hangover, TNT shows its power load with a double dose of revenge action when The Bride tries her damndest to Kill Bill at 2:00, followed by a second attempt at 4:15. I love the Kill Bill films quite a bit and Vol. 1 was on my top 25 of the decade, so no more shall be said.

To finish things off for today, I have a slew of SyFy cinema that is sure to keep you slightly distracted from the stench of your own vodka ridden breath (maybe if you flick your tongue the smell won't be so bad?). Things start off at 10:00 with Boogeyman, followed by Skinwalkers - a film I believe no one has actually seen - at 12:00. Things pick up at 2:00 with The Prestige, only to drop back down at 4:30 with the mediocre and totally disappointing Ultraviolet to finish off the day.

And that does it for this long ass and tiring edition of The Horror Hangover…see you next week ghoulies. 

7 comments:

  1. I liked VIRUS. But I am in a sad majority. I consider it a worthy "b-side" to the immortal DEEP RISING, as a sort of "sci-fi monsters at sea" double feature.

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  2. "Epic like Faith No More." Genius!

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  3. I've seen Skinwalkers. So you don't have to.
    Believe me.

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  4. I saw this when it PPV and remember hating the money I dumped on watching it. Maybe, but I highly doubt, I can watch it one day.

    And the day's bookend-ed by Milla in Ultra? I have never seen it because the trailer made it seem like she was playing the same character from RE franchise. So I pretty much said not thanks after that.

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  5. Astro: Ha, that's funny because I saw Deep Rising in theaters and had the same reaction as I did to Virus! Though, I have always thought I might enjoy it now with my taste ever evolving, plus there's a jet ski in use, something I can fully appreciate nowadays.

    Morgan: Thanks!

    Christine: Well, I am not surprised by that answer...Skinwalkers is a film I really have no desire to ever see, and I am a huge werewolf dude too.

    Geof: Yeah, she kind of does play a similar role in a way but it is worth a view for some of the decent action scenes and ideas the film has. Overall, it is a mess and not even near the same ballpark as the director's previous film, Equilibrium. I do love Milla, though.

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  6. So, where is the fun located in the picture? Is it in her vagina, or is it her thigh...or are her shorts supposed to be fun? I hate it when people give shitty directions.

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  7. I think it's pointing to a string, and if you pull it, you will get a really big surprise! Not sure how fun it would be, though.

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