Will the latest film in the still youthful Paranormal Activity franchise be able to replicate what its predecessors have done in the past? With less than 10 days left before Paranormal Activity 3 receives its major theatrical release across the country, I wonder if there will be enough audience interest to once again generate Activity at the box office, while also delivering something of worth. Personally, I really enjoyed both the first and second Paranormal films; however, I am weary about this prequel to a prequel where we already know the children will be safe.
Based off what I have seen in the trailers and TV spots and what I know of the story, I believe the chances that lightning will strike 3 times is pretty low. I love the idea, aesthetically, of an '80s period piece told through the home video technology of the time. On the other hand, outside of the date and time code, I don't see any real indication that a retro look has been fitted to this film. Moreover (and this is me being nitpicky), who the fuck could afford more than one video camera in the '80s, let alone multiple?!
As for the fear factor, there are some superbly creepy moments strewn throughout the trailers thus far, but unfortunately, there are also some moments that look way too big and overly manufactured for a Paranormal Activity film. In that sense, this is a sequel, so I suppose the ante must be upped, the scares bigger and all that stereotypical sequel jazz that comes with a sequel.
The mathematical chances that Paranormal Activity 3 will be able to deliver some good scares and another story that isn't completely derivative is fairly low. In all fairness though, I was quite weary of the PA2, and I ended up enjoying that film quite a bit due to the smart direction the story took and a few likeable characters (specifically the character of Ali). Regardless of my skepticism for PA3, having Christopher B. Landon return as the writer and the team behind last years fantastic documentary, Catfish, are certainly promising pieces of this equation.
In the end, all of these pregame thoughts mean very little when it comes to the final product (I just like to read myself write), which will not be revealed to me until I make my way to the theater and see the film for myself.
That sure is a whole hell of a lot of shit going on to start things off, isn't it? You're probably all like, "what the hell is this crap, huh?" Well, if you're still here after all those crazy photos, this is Goosebumps at 33, a yearly Chucktober tradition (as in, I did it last year) where I watch and review Goosebumps episodes without any nostalgic bias, whatsoeva. The kicker here is I am watching episodes of the much beloved children's horror show, for the first time, through the eyes of a 33-year-old man, who is now actually 34. Details, brah.
First up on Goosebumps at 33, I have a little ditty known as The Headless Ghost, a title that I am positive I will mistakenly type as The Headless Horseman at least seventy-five times.
Originally airing on September 21st, 1996, this season 2 episode focuses on Duane and Stephanie, who have become best known around town as the Twin Terrors of Wheeler Falls. You see, both Duane and Stephanie, who are not actually twins (talk about false advertising), have built a nice little reputation for themselves by pulling off pranks and scaring the poop out of the residents of Wheeler falls. Their main place to practice such tomfoolery is Hill House, a tourist attraction haunted by the ghost of a headless boy. As the tale goes, some moron kid was so into strawberry ice cream (strawberry, really?) that he fell into a dumbwaiter and somehow it decapitated him or some shit. Bet that wouldn't have happened if he was eating chocolate ice cream, because chocolate ice cream is for people that win.
In any event, Duane (who has this marvelous '20s styled Flapper hairdo) and Stephanie grow bored of pulling off such elaborate pranks and decide they need a good, true scare for themselves. They figure the best way to do so is to spend a night in Hill House searching for the head of the mediocre-berry ice cream loving boy. Little do they know, they are in for the scare of their lives.
I suppose the one thing that sticks out in The Headless Ghost is one-half of the Twin Terrors, Stephanie. The best way to describe Stephanie is she is a full on obnoxious busybody, who has little to no redeeming qualities about her. She lacks respect for even the simplest of things, for instance, she uses the term "smooth move," but completely neglects to mention anything about Ex Lax?! Like, listen here, Steph with the lame-ass laugh, that line don't work without the Ex Lax ending, so get your head out of your idiot ass and learn how to rank of peeps properly, kay?
Outside of Steph-fanny face, The Headless Ghost is actually a great episode in the Goosebumps library. It has a nice, creepy colonial setting with the Hill House itself, giving it an instant spooky factor. It would also makes for one of the more serious episode in the series, or at least more so than others that I have seen thus far. It's mostly all about the scares and atmosphere, though there are a few simply adorable moments strewn throughout! One of my favs is a simple little line that plays out in a very funny but subtle way. It involves a scene where a ghost wants Duane's head, so he pointedly tells him, "I need your head, Duane!," at which point Duane simply responds by saying, "I do too…" It's pretty hysterical.
As with every episode of Goosebumps, there is indeed a twist, however, The Headless Ghost breaks free of the oppressive chains of one single boring plot twist by giving the viewer not one but TWO different twists! Yowzaziwowa!! I won't go into detail about either of them (you know, in case you might watch the episode?), but I will say that super-bitch Stephanie learns a little lesson about respect. And thank heaven for that, 'cause that chick pissed me the crap off from moment one.
The Headless Horseman is a solid episode that would certainly entertain any fan of the series, and more importantly, it's a nice way to kick off Goosebumps at 33. Great location, fun story and it's nice and SPOOOOKY!
Nothing says grubby quite like someone else's slightly warm loose change. Though, if you want to kick the grub factor up a notch, putting that loose change in an old, wrinkled plastic sandwich bag and handing it out to trick or treaters should just about do the trick. It's disgusting, dude. Might as well give out a bagful of your toenail clippings. Do yourself and the rest of humanity a favor, spend the ten spot and pick up a bag of candy, you know, so I don't have to be plagued by your grotesque germs.
I think it's fair to say that the centerpiece of most every home is the television. While the home computer almost gives it a run for its money, the TV will likely rule most households for the foreseeable future thanks to the various amounts of entertainment that it brings. The television is like a gateway, a portal for our video games, TV shows, movies, and even our music to come to life and grant us all the entertainment we could ever want. But what if that gateway were instead used by zombies to cross over into our world so they could tear the flesh right off our bones? This would be the burning question posed in 1987's The Video Dead, a direct to video horror film with a comedic twist.
Written and directed by Robert Scott, (who has done a fair amount of second unit work in, fittingly, television), The Video Dead follows the tale of a possessed TV (or something) that is accidentally delivered to the wrong home. Soon after it arrives, the TV unleashes a slew of shambling zombies that kill the home's sole occupant, leaving the house vacant until a new family buys it a few months down the road. With their parents still abroad, both Zoe (Roxanna Augesen) and her younger brother Jeff (Rocky Duvall) are the first to arrive on the scene. As they are working on getting the house situated for their parents while they are away, Jeff soon discovers the haunted television set, and zombies eventually come a pouring out of it and start jack everyone's shit up. Cable prices totally aren't worth this hassle.
"I think I might move it to the corner to give the room a little more space."
"Hi mom!"
Never has a television been more frightening. Well, except for when Nancy Grace is on, that is.
Made for somewhere around $80,000, The Video Dead very much feels like a cheap, shot on video zombie film. However, despite the fact that it's not shot on video and there is enough money behind it to bring it up a few technical notches, the vibe is very much still there. The setting is simple and secluded, and more than likely the houses used as sets belonged to those involved with the film. The acting is also quite awful, coming from a cast of thespians with very little to none in terms of other film work. Some of the make-up is rough around the edges, and sadly, there is very little gore for a film that one would expect copious amounts of grue from.
Where The Video Dead does sort of sets itself apart from the pack is, despite the unoriginal setting, there are a few cool ideas that come to life in a way that is sometimes visually appealing. Seeing the zombies represented in a black and white film on the television is certainly a nice touch. However, one of the better moments is when the zombies actually come rising out of the screen, something that flat out looks cool. In addition, even if the make-up is a tad sketchy at times, most of the zombies have a great look, which is certainly important in a zombie film. One thing that really surprised me about this movie though, is the level of unpredictability, specifically in the final act. I won't spoil anything, but I will say that The Video Dead has more balls than I would have ever expected going into it.
The Video Dead works perfectly as a party film, but I would be somewhat hard pressed to fully consider it a movie that's so bad it's good, and that's due to the fact that there is a sharp sense of humor laid throughout the film. It's very tongue-in-cheek, almost playing more as a comedy than it does a B-horror film. The character interactions and some of the dialogue is, at times, very funny. Moments like Jeff renaming another character Cow Shit in retaliation to constantly being referred to as boy, or Zoe claiming to be a college Aerobics major are just a few examples of the humor strewn throughout The Video Dead.
"Lightening the mood" to watch The Video Dead.
Can't blame this one on the tobacco companies…
Flock of Seagulls?!
Some of the comedic elements I did enjoy, however, that humor does get a little tiresome at times, causing a few dull moments when there shouldn't be. Unless it's VERY funny, I prefer my bad cheap horror to be just that, bad and cheap, and I wouldn't consider The Video Dead to be anything more than marginally funny during the times where it's actually trying to be. I would much rather be entertained by bad acting (which is dealt out in spades in the film) and other such cinematic atrocities than have a film try too hard to be humorous. Simply put, the situations are far funnier than the execution.
Regardless of my minor qualms, The Video Dead delivers the '80s goods in a way that truly fits the time period. It embodies the VHS era in just about everyway with its incredible box art, it's low-budget, the bad acting, and the whacked out zombies. As I mentioned earlier, it makes for the perfect group viewing, preferably with a little something-something to lighten the mood (you know, like heroin), and if you're a connoisseur of this type of film, then it should certainly tickle your pickle. Unless you don't have one, in which case it will have to tickle the female organ that rhymes with pickle. Sickle maybe? How about Travis Bickle?
It is indeed a day of joy for some of us. Those of us who see an entirely deeper level to the colors of the trees as they begin to change as each day grows colder than the last. Those of us who are unexplainably drawn to the sounds of these once vibrant decorations crunching below our feet as we walk the streets, breathing the fresh autumn air into our rejuvenated lungs. Those of us who have an incredible, almost natural draw to the seasonal aisle in almost every single store we walk into (well, maybe not Fashion Bug). Those of us who keep our eyes peeled for anything and everything showing on cable that might give us Goosebumps. It is indeed a day of joy, for those of us who love Halloween.
Now, some of you may have already noticed, but in case you haven't, today is the 1st of October. And with this day in October comes an event unlike any event known to man, the first day of Chucktober!! BAM! Shit just came up and shattered your eardrums with its intensity! But listen up, brah, there ain't no time for shattered eardrums when we have an entire month of Halloween madness to enjoy!
If you're new to these here parts and are not yet aware of Chucktober, well, I suppose I should explain it to you then. It's about as simple as it gets, Chucktober is a month long celebration of all things Halloween, and with that comes a 100% focus on horror. All the movies reviewed as well as any other general postings will either be horror or Halloween related. Now, I know it's not much of a stretch for me to solely focus on horror when the horror genre already makes up about 85% of Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, but it is still 15% more than normal, so there!
This would actually mark the third year for Chucktober (yikes!), and I couldn't be any more excited! Well, I could if I was eating pancakes, but I digress. So, what's in store during this month of macabre? Well, I don't want to outright blow my load, so I won't go into too much detail. Buuut… I will say that there might be a returning segment, a brand new micro-segment, a handful of reviews of movies that should fit in well with the month, and all sorts of other Halloween related shit that will litter Chuck Norris Ate My Baby during the days leading up to All Hallow's Eve!
Now, to get you in the spirit proper, I thought I would provide you with a song about the only (non-wife) love I know, Halloween. Enjoy, and get ready, 'cause it's fucking Chucktober.
That title's a bit of a stretch, but whateva. You see, it's not the title that matters so much as it is the content that makes this post Beyond Thunderdome epic. Best part about it is I didn't even have to write it, because the ever-fantastical Stacia of She Blogged By Night fame has already done so. You see, Stacia has this incredible habit of posting a comprehensive list of "Movies to Watch for" on Fox Movies, TCM and Sundance Channel during the month ahead. And it just so happens that there is a certain little month known as October creeping up and around the corner, and that would naturally mean that many of the films featured on Stacia's list are of the horror variety! And hey, you love horror, don't you?! Sure you do!
So take a moment or two and head over to She Blogged By Night and check out what's in store on three of the best movie channels around (two of which I don't get ). You can literally use the post as a reference guide to a ton of unedited, commercial free horror goodies that October has to offer, without any of the work. It's like The Horror Hangover, but on roids and 100% less SyFy!
). You can literally use the post as a reference guide to a ton of unedited, commercial free horror goodies that October has to offer, without any of the work. It's like The Horror Hangover, but on roids and 100% less SyFy! 
