The Halloween Hangover

Well, it's Halloween, and as I was putting together all the films that would have been featured on this special Halloween edition of The Horror Hangover, I realized that there are so many movies to be seen that I wouldn't be able to do more than simply list them. There are a shit ton of movies and Halloween related marathons of all sorts showing on TV today, which is to be expected, so I thought why don't I make this Hangover a special one and pick only a handful of films that I think that everyone should watch today, if you already haven't made movie plans, that is.

First up, AMC has really stepped it up this season with a much stronger and more diverse line-up of horror movies than they have in years. Often criticized for only showing the 4th and 5th Halloween films constantly, this Halloween AMC has a Halloween (the film series) marathon with the crowing jewel being Halloween III: Season of the Witch, which is on at noon. The reason for my pick of this underappreciated gem is because I have always loved it, even before it was kinda cool to say so, but more so because it's never on TV. Out of all the Halloween films that get major airplay at this time of year, Season of the Witch is always left behind, standing there with an empty trick or treat bag, all sad looking. How can you turn down such a sweat little maggot ridden face?

My next pick for the day comes later on when Turner Classic Movies waxes that ass with a 6:15 showing of House of Wax. You know, it would do you no wrong to just leave TCM on all day long if you ask me, but I specifically love the original remake House of Wax quite a bit and you know it will look as nice as it can on TCM. And really, what's better than the dramatics of the great Vincent Price? 

Now, while I would consider sitting through Carpenter's Halloween, or Romero's Night of the Living Dead the smart way to go on Halloween, films like that are all just a little too obvious. Instead, I will make my third pick a fun one and go with the sequel to last year's mega-hit, My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen 2, showing at 6:00. To be honest, I only watched a few moments of the first film (but I still really wanna see it!), but whenever I saw the trailer for this (la)M(e)TV production, I must admit, I got kind of stoked. I'm a stickler for a bad Slasher, and for whatever odd reason, I think MSPSS2 looks like it could be a fun one.

 

Last but certainly not least, we head back to AMC for the television event of the decade, the 10:00 premier of The Walking Dead, with a replay at 11:30. I mean, do I really need to say why this is a pick? You were planning on watching it anyway, but how could I not list it? Why are there so many questions? Why are my pants not on?

Hey, don't go too far as tonight brings forth a brand new Halloween episode of the hottest dance show on television, Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party! I know it's not Friday, but bear with me here. Sea-ya-then, pumpkin punchers!

Goosebumps At 33 Season Finale!: Don't Go to Sleep

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Don't Go To Sleep

Matt Amsterdam is frustrated.  He's 12-years-old and no one shows him the respect that he has earned over his long and fruitful lifetime. He's treated like a child, like he is a lesser to his older siblings, both of whom get whatever they desire, while Matt pretty much gets the shaft. Matt soon realizes that life just isn't fair, that the world doesn't revolve around him the way it does his older brother and sister, and Matt figures out one of life's biggest truths, reality bites the big one.

After being told he cannot sleep in the attic, Matt decides he needs to take action and break free from these chains that have held him so tightly for all these years. He's had enough of this tyranny and has been held back by "The Man" (aka Mom) for far too long now, so he goes against his communist mother's wishes and sleeps in the attic anyways. In Matt's rebellious fit against reality and all that dare defy him, he finds solace in his new and incredibly dusty home, until his reality is turned upside down.

Don't Go to Sleep comes from the show's third season, originally airing on the 20th of September, 1997. The episode is one of the scarier ones that I have seen, mostly due to a few creepy and skewed close-ups of adults taunting our good buddy Matt, who is put to test by the reality police after all his complaints about his own reality. Matt is put into difficult adult circumstances, like being a pro-hockey player during a game, a brain surgeon in the middle of a surgery and a bomb squad ace just as a bomb is about to blow.

There's even a situation where Matt is just about to get married, which seems okay ('cause it's guaranteed ass) until the bride is revealed to be an onion chomping boar of a women, which is funny, because in Calling All Creeps, one of the bullies eats onions too. Must be a Canadian thing I suppose. Either way, it is these harsh realities that are meant to show Matt that it isn't so easy being an adult, and that maybe his reality isn't so bad after all.

While Matt might be coming off as a bit selfish and bratty, I think he could use some leeway here, especially when it comes to sleeping in the attic. He is 12 and he may need a little privacy for any future discoveries he might have, and what better place than the attic? I mean, the bathroom works okay, but if someone were to spook him while in there, he may just quickly leave without washing his hands afterwards, leaving a resi-don't all over the house. Plus, there is a female tailoring mannequin up in the attic, which despite having no legs, arms, head, facial features or hair, will be more than enough inspiration for a 12-year-old boy. Trust me.

One thing I noticed almost immediately, is that Matt, who while sharing my name, also has a look that is very familiar too…

Strange coincidence? Sure, but how about I throw in this fact: I made my room in the basement starting around the same age as Matt…how's that for spooky? Though, I didn't have a mannequin, but I did have cable (thank you USA network, thank you).

My 13 Favorite Remakes!

Whoa, that sounds like some heavy stuff right there and it is. See, if you remember last year during this time, our good friend and master of the universe, T.L. Bugg of The Lightning Bug's Lair, had put together his second annual Halloween Top 13, with the subject being that of his favorite sequels. And now, one year later, the Bugg is back and this time around his Halloween Top 13 focus is on the ever controversial horror remake!

As with last year, Bugg made a call to arms and asked that people participate with their own list of remakes that they love, and I of course once again grabbed my battle axe, mounted my stead and met that call to arms full on with a list of my own. It's an epic read to say the least, and I really put some serious work into it as if I were writing it for CNAMB. So, I ask of you to take a few minutes, or more, and check out my list, T.L. Bugg's fantastic daily picks, and all of the other people that made contributions to this event of incredible proportions. Bugg has poured a ton of work into all of this, so for that he deserves a huge thanks and a pat on the butt, err, I mean back, so get over there and start patting.

Click-click-click to see my picks!

British Lesbian Vampires Showing Their Boobs Over At BThroughZ?!

Now that's the kind of eye-catching title that'll draw in the crowds! Can't wait to see the Google keyword searches that bring people to this post. So yeah, I am here to share with you my latest review over at the newest issue of BThroughZ, the Halloween issue of BThroughZ, if you will. As you might be able to guess by the incredibly subdued title of the post, I wrote a review for a film that has British females that play vampiric lesbians and get naked like it's their job. Actually, it was their job, thus the movie Vampyres (often subtitled Daughters of Darkness, or, Daughters of Dracula)was born. If you would like to read my thoughts on this little slice of heaven, then I encourage you to take a a trip to BThroughZ and make it a part of your day. And hey, while you're there, why not check out all the other goodies that the newest issue has in store for you. M'kay? Now that's the spirit!

Click on the sexy ladies for the review!

Great Story, Emily

I've had a really tough time figuring out what to dress up as for Halloween, so I took to the internet as my guide and found this news report focusing on the hottest costumes for 2010!! Boy, I sure hope it helps with some creative and original ideas that'll stand out amongst the masses!

First off, while I do dig the clown outfit, Emily Deem should really try and go as a mute. Not for Halloween so much as she should just be a mute, period.

So the first costume is brought out, and it's the Mad Hatter from that Tim Burton movie that came out. I just love how Foot Locker describes the costume as being comfortable because Jesus can wear his own pants with it. I was more or less thinking the costume sucked, because Jesus had to wear his own pants because the costume didn't come with them. While we're on it, is the hair awesome, Emily? Is it really? I'll pass on this one.

Finally, when the one costume I was waiting for the entire time makes an appearance (the Alice costume, naturally), I learn that the shoes are extra?! I totally can't afford all of that, and all the other girls at school are definitely going to laugh at me if I don't wear the right shoes. They really do make the ensemble pop.

The last costume is barely even worth mentioning as we have already seen the idiot store owner wearing it for the last two minutes. Oh, but now it's on a little girl, so it must be cute, right? Wrong. If they wanted to do a family theme, they should go as father and disappointed in her father daughter. That would be more fitting.

You know what, forget it, this stupid news report didn't help me find shit. And seriously, Emily, do you think getting a news camera wet is a good idea? Love how her lame flower joke fails when she misses the camera the first time, and she then has to reign it back in with her wit and charm. But the best part of this whole thing is the condescending female studio anchor saying "That was fun" with the excitement of someone that just found out they will be raped by an alligator everyday for the rest of their life starting in one hour.

Unless my luck should change, it looks like I might be wearing my go to costume for the 27th year in a row…

6 More Days Till Halloween-Halloween-Halloween!

And no, that jingle will never get old.

With only six more days till we can all transform into demons and monsters for the entire day - just to ward off all the evil spirits that would mean us nothing but harm by stealing our candy - there is a mixture of emotions that goes on when the countdown gets this close to the end. One of those being the excitement brought forth by Halloween being almost here, which is what it's all about, right? Well, there is also the whole 'it's almost over' aspect that drapes itself  over me, reminding me of just how sad it is to see Halloween go away as  quickly as it does every year.  What it comes down to is less the day, and more the build up, the anticipation that is many a horror fan's favorite holiday.

Halloween is more about the weather that surrounds us, the crackling of the  leaves beneath our feet as we walk through a haunted trail filled with teens wearing masks and taking smoke breaks in-between easily frightened groups. It's the first and second, and third and fourth and…well, you get the picture, taste of seasonal microbrew made specifically for the month that is October and the holiday that haunts it. It's the decorations, the fear that your pumpkins will get stolen and smashed like they are without feelings. It's the stores and their transformation from normal, to abnormal, when they cover an entire section with a multitude of Halloween goodies that can be stared at with starry eyes for hours on end. It's the DVD sales, the movies on TV, the Scream awards (even if they're kind of lame), the haunted house and ghost television shows on a constant loop, it's watching Roseanne's Halloween specials.

It's everything.

And it's always sad to have that slip away so quickly, but it's a celebration that supersedes the day itself, and as sad as it will be to see it all go away…I am sure as hell happy to have all the build up beforehand.

The Horror Hangover

Not too much of a surprise that with Halloween only one week away (where does the time go? Seriously?!), we are graced with a hangover worthy of the Great Pumpkin, Robert Z'Dar. I know, most people don't know that Z'Dar is the Great Pumpkin, but I mean, who else could it be? Anyways, as I was saying, this is a potent hangover for sure, so if you're feeling a lot like you were raped by the Great Pumpkin with how much you drank last night, then we are here to give you a little something to take your mind off things. 

Why not go ahead and get SyFy out of the way, shall we? They start the day for us with a double does of men with runny noses with a 9:00 showing of Boogeyman, followed by Boogeyman 2 at 11:00. If those two films are snot good enough for you, then SyFy follows them both up with the film adaptation of Clive Barker's The Midnight Meat Train at 1:00. Surprisingly, that film does not star Peter North.

Okay, three down and a whole lot more to go! Yeah!! Can you feel the pump yet?!?! Well, you will once we head on over to AMC, which is surprisingly not showing Halloween 4 and 5 on a continuous loop. Yet. They start us off with a handful of family pets gone wrong Stephen King stories, starting with Pet Sematary at 9:45, followed by that big ol' lug, Cujo, at 11:45.

Not to be stopped, AMC keeps us going with a 1:45 showing of 1999's House on Haunted Hill, followed by that film's sequel, Return to House on Haunted Hill, at 3:45. And because we're on a role and I don't feel like stopping while the horror train is at full speed, AMC keeps the rest of our hungover Sunday a horror filled one with Constantine at 5:30, followed by zombies on meth in 28 Days Later at 8:00, and ending AMC's day is Jeepers Creepers 2, which is showing at 10:45 PM.

That about does it for movies, but I do have a few more tricks down my pants still, so don't go running off just yet. The first one comes to us from Biography and their new documentary, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Inside Story Pt. 1, which is showing at 4:00, followed by the second part at 6:00. That's four hours, with commercials, of Freddy docu-action, so I find that to be exciting, that's for sure. Now, the description states that it has all new interviews and all that jazz, but it is odd that there is yet another beefy Nightmare doc in such a short amount of time. So anyone with some info, please, share with the rest of the class.

And last, but certainly not least, The Travel Channel is showing Ghost Adventures from 9:00AM to 11:00PM!! WHAT?!?! There's no reason that you should not at least make some time in your day to spend a few moments with Zac Bagans, his bod and the other guys that no one care about. 

That does it for me, kiddies…enjoy your hangover as best you can.