Monday, November 30, 2009

Suicide Solution

Shion Sono's Suicide Club (Jisatsu sâkuru or Suicide Circle) is a tough film to review...I don't even know where to begin; yet, here I am at the beginning, so I guess it has begun. That statement is as confusing as my thoughts about Suicide Club - a film that sat on my DVD shelf for a couple of years now and for whatever reason I never sat down and watched it. Not like there aren't tons of unwatched films in my collection, but I'm just saying. My only previous knowledge of the movie is about the same as most, which is the crazy opening involving a large group of Japanese schoolgirls that take a plunge right into an oncoming train. I heard that it was pretty good, but I feel like I heard that the train opening was the best scene in the movie and it never quite hits that level of madness again. Whoever said that could not have watched the same movie as I.

Suicide Club is a total mind fuck of a film. In theory, it is a simplistic tale of a rash of unexplained suicides that begin with the opening train slaughter. The local police, led by Detective Toshiharu Kuroda (Ryô Ishibashi) attempt to figure out what may be causing these suicides, ruling out the possibility that they could be caused by someone intentionally and chalking them up to a fad that kids have caught on to. There are so many themes in this film that I could do two full posts on the themes alone. Some of them may be a bit out of my knowledge range, as I only know so much about Japanese culture and how suicide seems to have found a way into the culture of Japanese society, but some of these ideas are very world-weary.

Most of these social commentaries individually factor into what may be the cause of these suicides. Each one adds a thick layer of oddity, while keeping you guessing throughout as to which of these things could be the reason, or even the cause of these self inflicted, life-ending decisions. Technology, selflessness, celebrity, fads, and even J-pop are all skewered in some capacity within Suicide Club's framework. All of them mix together to really throw off the viewer's sense of direction, a sense of direction you get with a lot of the detective aspects of the film - which work perfectly like a solid crime thriller. The police are what drive the film and everything unfolds around them for most of Suicide Club's run time. The value of family, friendship and even the connection to ones self is a thematic element found initially with the detectives portion of this tale.

Suicide Club is gruesome and at times almost comes close to being too over the top. In fact, it is over the top in a dark dark way and almost goes into the territory of more recent films like Tokyo Gore Police and Frankenstein Girl vs. Vampire Girl, films that also have outlandish next level (in comparison to Suicide Club) suicidal elements in them. While films like that make you say "What the fuck?!" It's in a, you cannot believe how crazy and almost silly kind of way, as opposed to the "What the fuck!" moments in Suicide Club, which are incredibly creepy and surreal even while being slightly over the top. Scenes of borderline humor that make you cringe in how they are presented and the way they unfold.

All of the peculiar elements are mainly outside of the police investigation aspect and almost work like little weird and wonderful vignettes that become increasingly strange as the film moves along. Throughout, I was captivated as to what was the cause of these suicides and as the movie rolled along, the more complex it became and the more interested I was in understanding what exactly is going on with this film. You know what? I really wasn't sure what had happened by time the films runtime ran dry. Suicide Club is one of those films that doesn't present you with a definitive explanation to what is going on. Something that may be a turn off for some, but for me, it makes it all the more mysterious.

There is one scene in particular, that is set very far into the movie that just comes from out of nowhere and I was not so sure about it at first. I thought that this was the moment where I would be let down. It is essentially a musical number involving a very effeminate male named Genesis (Rolly), who leads a small gang of murderous psycho's. The setting can be best described as a bowling alley of horrors, filled with sewn up white bed sheets containing various victims wiggling around, trying to get free. As the piano began, the music mixed with the squealing of a female victim became instantly recognizable as the underground Hip-Hop duo, The Leak Bros did a fantastic version of this song. Even with that recognizable sample, I still wasn't sure about this scene at all. However, as it went along, and it became more and more clear what was happening on screen and how disturbing it was, by the end, I was completely taken aback. Phenomenally haunting.

I cannot get this film out of my head for so many reasons and the ambiguity of an antagonist is a part of it. It is a movie that you can choose your own theory and there are plenty to choose from, but I think after some research, I have a better perspective of the happenings in Suicide Club. For me, the sign of a powerful film is the fact that I made the attempt and looked into understanding the story better after seeing it. If the movie were weak, I would have said "What a pile of stupid shit!" and left it at that. The intense imagery and frighteningly inspired ideas are captivating and Suicide Club may be one of the best Japanese horror films I have seen in many many years. The film is full of surprises from top to bottom and even when I thought I had the tone and style figured out, they threw in a gyro ball (get it?!) to throw off my game.

I barely tapped into the vastness of this movie in my review and I could really go on and on about so many things that I didn't even graze here. I hope that some of you have seen this and I would gather you would leave your thoughts if you did...this is a movie that I really would love to hear what other people that I know think about it.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Horror Hangover

Ahhh...the long weekend that begins on a Thursday with Thanksgiving is nearing an end! Hopefully everyone had a nice one filled with a copious amount of food and drink and everything in between. Sadly, I got a pretty anemic hangover for you all today, but there are a few interesting things to check out, so not a complete loss I guess.

11:00 AM starts off with The Beast of Bray Road (2005) on SyFy. A film that I would guess would be your average cheese ball SyFy film, but the trailer actually looks really badass! It's about a Wisconsin set urban legend werewolf that has moved from livestock, to humans! The creature looks really cool and it appears there is some gore to be had, though this is afternoon cable, so who knows what you will actually see.



Keeping with the cycle of the wolf at SyFy, Cursed (2005) will be on at 1:00 PM. I never saw the entire film, just bits and pieces, which was more than enough to keep me away from this Williamson/Craven re-team. Still, Cursed may make for a mind numbingly acceptable watch while completely hungover and lacking any real brain function.

I said this was a weak hangover, so I am forced to already include something of the Christmas nature...at 2:00 PM A Christmas Carol (1984) is on Hallmark. I really enjoy this incarnation of A Christmas Carol and outside of Scrooged and the Disney animated film, it is a solid telling of the Charles Dickens' classic story.

At 3:30 PM, you better get off my lawn when The Enforcer (1976) is on ION (I am a lyrical assassin!). Love the Dirty Harry films and The Enforcer is one of the best. Pick of the week, punk!



3:00 brings us the non-Zemeckis Beowulf (1999) on SyFy. It's the story of Beowulf, but as played by uber movie tough guy, Christopher Lambert and the mega-hot, Rhona Mitra also stars. It says it all when you have an old English tale setting with the action pumped up to the max by techno music!



And for the final film of the day, at 3:30 PM, Demolition Man (1993) is on AMC. I have never seen this film and that may be due to my dislike for Sandy Bullock, which may just keep me away for another decade or so. Otherwise, I wouldn't mind checking it out.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Grace's Jones

I'm going to keep this one real quick as I wasn't even planning on doing a review for 2009's, uneaten baby film, Grace, but I felt compelled to write something about it. First off, I really enjoyed the film, the only issues I may have had were eradicated by the end of the movie. It seemed to be a little ambiguous as to where it was going, but where it went was fitting to the film as a whole. I did think that some of the vegan stuff was a little overdone and unnecessary in its in your face-ity (?). In your face-ness? No?

Grace is a very slow, brooding film that just keeps everything simple and stays away from almost obvious over the top temptations that must have been had with a story like this. It is superbly shot and the Zoran Popovic cinematography and direction from Paul Solet are tops, with the ominous and well crafted technical aspects really matching and pushing the eerie mood and tone of Grace's story.

The acting and character development was a very nice change of pace with this movie. There is a lot of depth to the secondary characters with a film that is essentially about a mother and her blood lovin' baby. Every character serves a purpose and is important to the story, and to the main characters, but carry their own individual back story too. One of the best of the secondary characters was Gabrielle Rose as Vivian Matheson, who puts forth a rendering that is remarkable in its creepy sadness and outright bitchiness.

A huge stand out was Jordan Ladd as Madeline Matheson. I have been a big fan of hers since Cabin Fever and to be honest, it was for her looks. Not that she was bad in other films, but in Grace, she completely puts herself out there and gives a fantastic performance. She carries a very emotional film here and is able to keep from going campy or over the top in a role that could invite an over the top portrayal.

What really got me about Grace was the birth scene, where Ladd really brings it. This scene is incredibly emotional and powerful...it was a very tough scene to watch and even as a man, who has no kids, I was very moved and saddened by it. Great slow burn and very subtle horror film that is one I recommend if you like that type of movie. In addition, I should note, the DVD extras are fantastic too, with great behind the scenes stuff and fun commentary from Solet and producer Adam Green. Shortest review eva!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Sunday-Sunday-Sunday! Ms. Horror Blogosphere vs. Pretty-Scary.net!!


I have been pretty tempted to toss in my two cents about this whole ordeal here, but after much thought and deliberation, I have decided against it because it takes away from my time spent watching movies, writing moronic reviews and throwing sexist dance parties.

Everyone has said everything that can be said, and I agree with most people’s thoughts. It's just too bad that it's taking away from the entire reason we are all here, which is to talk movie shop. The entire blogging world is doing the Karloff thing or talking about this moronic made up non-issue, while I'm just sitting here all alone. Weeping like a willow.

I need to stir up a pot of some sort, and I think I will do so by coming out against one ply toilet tissue. For years I have conformed to the tyranny of this waste efficient source of rear cleaning known as one ply T.P., and I'm done with it! Say what you will, three ply for me, whether or not you like it! Public restrooms be warned...your time is almost up!

Now, maybe I'll get a ton of hits here at CNAMB for this faux issue, and instead of learning my thoughts, people will become outraged by my "toilet tissue issue" stance. The line has been drawn in the sand and either you like a bloody ass, or you don't...now, what's it gonna be?

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Motör(Pin)head Edition!!!

Yo-yo-hoes! Didn't do a dance party last week and I can't even remember why now...actually, come to think of it, I was just being lazy. Anypooh, I got a dope ass track for you turkey stuffed sassy pants tonight and I think a lot of you are really gonna dig this one. The song: Hellraiser! The band: Motörhead!!

A couple of quaaludes and a half hours time, and I too, will put a spell on you...



Did you feel that thundering heat?! Well, I did, but the heat I felt is from when I went pee during the guitar solo...thanks, Lemmy. There are very few things scarier than a cenobite, but Lemmy from Motörhead comes pretty damned close. Written by Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde, and the moley one himself, Lemmy, Hellraiser was previously recorded by Ozzy in '91 for his No More Tears album. Motörhead went on to record the song and it famously showed up on the OST for 1992's Anthony Hickox directed, Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth.

Hellraiser and this post in general, bring me back big time. I love this song and the video is a welcome blast from the metal past too. I know for a fact that I have a VHS tape with this video on it as I used to recorded all the dope shit from Headbanger's Ball, and Hellraiser was one of my favs. You can't beat Lemmy playing poker against Pinhead, especially when you know Pinhead ain't got no chance...in HELL! And it may not be the best of the series, but I can't help but love every bit of 90's sweat that Hell on Earth drips. Great video for a great song!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Retail Terror!

With Black Friday almost upon us, why not celebrate the horror that many go through when forced to work retail. Dealing with customers is not the easiest thing ever; most are insatiable moronic douche bags looking for a hand me out and cannot read sale signs. Then there are the people that pick stuff up, look at it, and then just toss it wherever they see fit. Shopping amongst these people is just as bad, they have an ability to take up entire isles as they walk slower than a Romero Zombie, while being in the way of others who are trying to get from one store to the next.

Here is a list of films that while being terrifying, are no match for a woman with a cart full of crud, a checkbook, and a double baby stroller pushed by a five year old.

THIS is Retail Terror!

The Mist - And I thought Supermarket Sweep was tough?



Intruder - Some customers just deserve a band saw to the dome piece.



Little Shop of Horrors - Unfortunately, Rick Moranis' career was cut short when he was crushed by a group of stampeding women on the hunt for Cabbage Patch Dolls. All he wanted was an ONYX cd.



Splinter - The Least convenient store of all time.



Dawn of the Dead - Are mall walkers just fast zombies?



Bonus Terror!

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