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Friday, November 5, 2010

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Dutch Oven Edition!

vortexopenthegate

You know, I have done more than my fair share of dance parties in my time here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and rarely have I found myself speechless due to a video. I can almost always drum up something snarky or semi-witty to say about whatever disaster-piece that crosses my path. Then along came Vortex, a Dutch metal band that came jumping from out of nowhere, studded leather and all, right into my life and my heart. Like I said, I'm speechless, so why don't I stop yapping and let the lords of metal take over this show…  

 

I can probably just retire from throwing Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party and simply repost this video every week. I mean, where do I go from here? What's going to trump this one? Nothing. Nothing trumps a dude with fangs that's wearing a cape, a studded headband and who sings beautifully into a fucking tibia. Or at least I think that's a tibia, but you know, I ain't no doctor, so what do I know about anything that isn't hot beat related. This shit is like the metal equivalent of Jan Terri, only with slightly higher production values and better hair. It's incredible and also quite riveting, and I would like to thank Vortex for Opening the Gate in the name of metal, with metal. If they didn't do it, who would? 

4 comments:

  1. Holy Shit! In my vast, infinite wisdom of metal bands, how have I not heard of this band before? One of those dudes is a dead ringer for Judas Priest guitarist KK Downing.

    And just check out some of their song titles. Very Spinal Tap-ish. 'Heavy Metal Pussy'. Gotta love it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vortex_(Band)

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  2. What's even crazier is the fact that bands like this are still around?! It's great, and whomever wrote the shit on that Wiki page is incredible unto them self! Open the Gate indeed.

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  3. Wow! I've never heard of this band either. It's like everything I love/miss/hate about 80s Heavy Metal all rolled up into one infectious, synchronized guitar-playing package. The dude is singing into a fucking bone! At least King Diamond had a microphone attached to the bone he sang into, but not this dude. He don't need no bloody microphone. If there turns out to be a Heavy Metal horror movie out there with these guys in circulation, I might just cream myself. Hail Vortex.

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  4. "It's like everything I love/miss/hate about 80s Heavy Metal all rolled up into one infectious, synchronized guitar-playing package."

    Exactly!

    This is the video that lead me to that Nightmare one, which is really like gold leading to gold which is really the thing that we all search for. And dude, if they had a movie, I would maybe have a heart attack!

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