There are very few things that are worse than waking up with a screaming hangover. What IS worse than waking up with a screaming hangover, is when you wake up with a screaming hangover after losing an hour of sleep last night. Just the idea of being bombed at 2:00 in the morning, only to realize it's actually 3:00, is just plain awful. Hopefully your pain is minimal, as well as the possible venereal diseases you may have picked up last night. If it's any consolation, there are movies to be had this afternoon, so lets get this party started!
Starting bright and early at 9:30, The Skulls (2000) is playing on AMC. It's a movie - with some people - who wear some clothes and say some words. Watch it if you want. Or don't and go back to sleep…
…so you can wake up and watch Blade (1998) at 10:30 on FX. I love me some Blade (well, the first two) and when folks say that vampires are bitch asses now because of Twilight, least they forget that it hasn't been all that long since the Blade films. Solid action, some pretty badass vampires, and the opening bloodbath are all reasons worth giving Blade a view this afternoon.
Up next at 11:30, Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2008) is on SyFy. I thought this one was pretty decent, and I actually wrote a review of it over at Paracinema some time back. Far from perfect, Jack Brooks has a pretty slow first half and a slightly obnoxious character played by the dude that played Freddy Krueger, but the film makes up for it with an exciting final act filled with a copious amount of old-school practical effects and puppetry.
Keeping with a similar tone, SyFy follows up Jack Brooks with My Name is Bruce (2007) at 1:30. I liked it enough, I guess. As a fan of Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi, I loved it. If you aren't a HUGE fan of The Evil Dead films and Campbell, then there isn't much to enjoy about this incredibly lame movie. It's filled with a ton of funny horror fan in-jokes that only fans of the Dead movies and Campbell would get, so outsiders, tread lightly.
And now continuing with the respectable vampires of recent years, Underworld: Evolution (2006) is on FX at 3:30. The Underworld films are okay, but my issue with them has mostly been the poor depiction of werewolves, especially how they are brought to life. At least the vampires are pretty decent, and more importantly, wicked hot. An Underworld film is not the worst way to spend a day on the sofa.
SyFy once again keeps it movin' at 3:30 when, The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) brings about a great way to end the Hangover. Do I really need to say anything about this one? It's a masterpiece of cinema and everything that is wonderful about the art of film. There, how's that? Works for me.
That about does it for this edition of The Horror Hangover. Unfortunately, I just lost a damned hour of sleep, but it was all worth it to bring you a slate of televised cinema that would be worthy of a person that isn't even hungover.