Saturday, July 9, 2011

'Zero' People Came to My 'Bloody Birthday' Party

What's up, man. I see you decided to stop by this fine and often magical place known as Chuck Norris Ate My Baby. That's very nice of you, and I fully support your browsing of this here scene, in fact, I encourage the shit out of it. However, I have to ask you a real big favor. No! I don't want you to hide drugs in your girl's bra, again! Geez…that was one time two months ago, and she only had to spend one night in jail. Don't worry, this is way easier than shoving an eight ball down an A-cup.

bloody birthday5

Okay, first I'm gonna need you to give me a quick ride to Dalton McBeal's house so I can grab that cash he owes me. Then we'll head over to Wal-Mart so I can pick up a 'Bloody Birthday' cake for my little brother's birthday party that's being thrown over at someplace called PARACINEMA. I think it's near the Y. Gas money? Man, you know I got no cash to spare! This is a recession! I have just enough for a pack of smokes and a ten bag. How about I smoke you up instead?   



Thanks for the lift, bro. I appreciate it and all, but you think you could do me a solid and swing me by Darius' crib real quick so I can pick up that cash he owes me? Thanks, man. I always knew you were my boy. Hey, you think I can use your phone to give him a quick call first? I have 'ZERO' minutes left of my cell, and I gotta make sure he's home and not over at that STRANGE KIDS CLUB picking up STDs again. Thanks, man. Hey, you got an extra smoke by any chance?


  1. I enjoy the narrative of this post.

  2. HA! And I enjoy the straight forwardness of your comment!


Most Popular Posts

Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is in no way endorsed by or affiliated with Chuck Norris the Actor.