Sunday, July 31, 2011

CNAMB 'Turned' 2!

As I sat here reading an old review (that shall remain unnamed), twitching and nearly vomiting at how awful my grammar and sentence structure used to be, I suddenly came to the realization that my birthday should be just around the bend. Not MY birthday, mind you, but the birth of Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, the site that will end the deficit disputes, fix global warming and uncover the mystery of whether or not Jamie Lee Curtis is a bro. Naturally, I immediately checked, only to realize that it was indeed my birthday. Yesterday. Yep, late to my own birthday.

In any event, it was two years ago yesterday, July 30th, 2009 that I posted something that was really meant as nothing more than to simply get any sort of post up so I could get this sumbitch started. Thus, the birth of Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and the start of a revolution that would change the way people think. Or not. At least one of those things is true.

If I had foreseen this incredible event before it had already passed by, I might have written some sappy fucking thing where I got all introspective and shit, so it's probably good that I forgot. In any event, I MUST say thank you to each and every person that has wasted their time reading anything that I have ever written. I am honored to have any sort of readership, and I hope I am able to generate some sort of emotion out of you all as a payment for spending time with me, my opinions, my bad jokes, and my obsession with writing about the things I love. I also want to thank anyone that has supported CNAMB in any way, shape or form, and that includes people that have supported me and my wife in ways that they already know about. You know who you are, so this song is dedicated to you and you and you! Oh yeah, and you too, I guess.


  1. Hey, Happy Belated B-day CNAMB! Just wanted to say thanks Matt for 2 years worth of laughter, tears and of course filth, haha! Keep up the good work, and as a wise man by the name of Abraham Lincoln once said, and I quote: "Party on, dude!" :D

  2. Ha, nothing makes my day more than a Bill and Ted's quote! Thanks Dorian, it's very much appreciated!

  3. Jamie Lee Curtis IS indeed a bro.

    Happy Birthday CNAMB.

  4. Happy birthday CNAMB. If J.L.C is indeed a bro, then those were serious man boobs she was sporting in Trading places!

  5. Happy anniversary!

    Maybe Jamie Lee is a brother lady.

  6. Somewhere, Bea Arthur is smiling. Happy birthday! May Chuck Norris continue in his mad cannibalistic journey for many years to come!

  7. Awww man! That means I missed my blog's birthday too since our blog's are twinsies! Oh well, happy birthday to CNAMB and the HD !

  8. Happy Anniversary my friend and here's to many more to come! Huzzah!

  9. Uh, no presents?!

    Astro: I knew it! Thanks brother!

    Hero: Thanks! You know, sadly I have only seen Trading Places on cable (and so many times, too), so I have never been lucky enough to see her cans, though I imagine they are divine, despite the possibility that there's a penis there!

    Stacia: Like a sister wife?! Or is that different?! Thanks!

    Dylan: Thanks my dearest Blanche!

    Auntie: Thanks, and I'd like to think that Bea is up there singing along every time that song plays!

    Andre: You know, I was relying on YOU to remind me. I thought I missed yours, checked to make sure you didn't post it and I just missed it, but alas, you forgot too! We can celebrate together, with only the finest of boxed wines by our sides!

    POT: Thank you my brother from another mother!

  10. You're one of the few people from what I refer to as "the original crew" on the blogosphere who I still talk to and who still comments on my blog. Thanks for keeping CNAMB active and not disappearing for months at a time or deleting your blog altogether like some people out there (including myself). Congrats, Matt!

  11. Thanks brother! It is crazy reflecting on how much things have changed since I got into the whole thing. So many have come and gone, with way more coming than I could ever keep up (that sounds very homoerotic), but I am glad to have some of the same O.G. homeys still around, you being one of them, naturally!

    I'll always be making my rounds at The Rattle, Aaron. In fact, the only thing that could keep me away is if you were to do a week dedicated to shark movies! I like to keep my underwear shit free! ;)

  12. Moo-AH! (that's my kissy kiss sound)

  13. Congrats on the achievement, dear.
    If it means anything, I think your writing has grown leaps and bounds and that's a wonderful thing! You're one talented/funny dude.
    Here's to 2 more years! Or something!

  14. Emily: Aww, you! Much thanks to you, fair maiden!

    Christine: Thanks times two! I can't believe some of the shit I wrote sometimes, though it is a nice way to put how much better I have gotten in perspective. One look at my review of Quiet Cool is enough to send shivers down my spine! :)

  15. Happy birthday CNAMB! Keep up the total awesomeness. And thanks for the sexy Golden Girls action! ;)

  16. Thanks! And no problem; I knew a little Golden shower would do everyone nice!



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