What exactly does one get when Christmas shopping for someone like a post transformation Seth Brundle? It's not as easy as you'd think. Brundlefly's physical form is quite odd in its shape, so a nice holiday sweater is out of the question. He's not so much into his looks, either, so you can forget about picking him up a 6 month gym membership with unlimited tanning. And without actual ears, what would be the point of getting him an iPod?
If you're shopping for a picky person, or fly, such as Brundlefly, you have to think outside the box and maybe take a look at his interests and likes. What is his passion? Well, family unity is clearly first thing on his mind, so why not try and go for a gift certificate to the Olive Garden? It's the perfect present for a family that is in need of a little bonding, and boy do those breadsticks taste so great, especially 'cause they're endless! Just make sure you go when it's not too busy, you know, because Brundlefly has not the greatest of table manners.
One thing I notice is, when Brundlefly is off working those late nights breaking into abortion clinics, he needs to take a break but just doesn't have the time to stop somewhere to pick up a quick sip to eat. It's a clinic-to-clinic lifestyle he lives. So, I'm thinking a nice 24oz thermos would make for the perfect solution for a fly on the go. Hey, you could even fill it with some meat and vegetables before wrapping it, then the entire family will laugh and clap as they watch as he pukes on it so it dissolves and becomes a form in which is edible for him. Hey look, he's making fresh Olive Garden alfredo sauce! YUM!
Lastly, I know I sometimes like to buy my mother an adorable Christmas ornament as a present. It's a great way to remind her about how disappointed she is in me when she goes to decorate her tree year after year. The problem is, what kind of ornaments are out there that a fly/human hybrid would enjoy hanging every holiday season? Well, here's where you can get creative. What do flies love? C'mon…think about it. That's right, they love shit! Now, how about a nice home made ornament made out of some form of feces? It's cheap and you can decorate it with glitter, put your picture on it, heck, you can even stick a candy cane through it if it's soft enough. Now, imagine Brundlefly's face when he hangs up an ornament that he can actually call his own. This Christmas is turning out, AWESOME!!
So there you have it. When shopping for someone like Brundlefly, sometimes you just have to think outside the pod. Happy shopping, kiddies!
P.S. I am fully aware that this entire post is probably null and void due to the fact that there is a 99% chance that Brundlefly is Jewish. I do believe, however, that the fly was Irish catholic, so it works.