And no, that's not a misspelled Punky Boobster joke, though, it did cross my mind as a tit…I mean title. The reason for the Boo in Brewster is due to a traumatic episode of the beloved kids television show titled, The Perils of Punky. This season two, two-part episode aired in 1985, which would put me at the tender age of…1+1=2 5x4=…about 8-years-old. Now, why would I post a commercial free two part episode of Punky Brewster on Chuck Norris Ate My Baby you ask? Well, that would have to do with the extremely surreal and frightening events that developed within this horrifying story-line.
What starts off as a normal and fun filled camping trip, Punky, Allen, Cherie, Brandon the dog and that bitch Margeaux (way to spell your name, grub), run into something far worse than mosquitos on this trip to hell. Having a lot more to fear than wiping with leaves, Punky and the crew find themselves in a cave that is haunted by an old Indian curse (so litter they best not), that would want to harm Punky and her pals. As would be expected, there are no adults around - once again showing that Henry is too old, senile and unfit to take care of a child. Unless he was giving Cherie's grandma, Betty, some much needed cream in her coffee. Then I could forgive him, I suppose – so it's up to the kids and the power o' Punky to save the day!
There is a whole lot of video to watch here, so I wouldn't expect you to sit through it all, unless you might actually want to. You can skip right to the third portion (starting around 2:08), better known as the meat and taters of this creepy kids classic. It's totally worth it.
Pretty damned frightening for a kids TV show, don't ya think? I have always had a strong memory of The Perils of Punky due to the fact that it did scare me quite a bit as a child, especially Allen's fucked up head and his nicotine stained teeth. I also remember my mother coming into the living room as I was watching the episode's finale and after only a few seconds she said: "This is a kids show?!" Like she was all pissed that it was so intense and said it with a slight tone like she might make me stop watching it at any moment. Thanks to chloroform, she didn't.
Sure, there is the possibility that it was a little much for kids, with the trippy effects, the screaming giant spider, Allen's and Cherie's freaky heads, and the H.P. Lovecraft by way of Sparkle Motion inspired creature that tells Punky that he is going to kill her. But there's nothing wrong with a 'little much' for a kid as that little much was a small factor in who I would become as an adult film fan. It was a little much, sure, but more importantly, it was enough to stick around in my horror loving mind since I was too young to think about Punky as a sex toy.