Freddy's Halloween Dance Party! Round 3!

WHOOOOO!! This party is off the meat rack, brah! And it isn't over just yet, we have one last round of hot beats to frighten you right out of your seats...and on to the dance floor! With the celebration getting close to being over, I should let some of you ladies know about the haunted house set up in the private suite...it's filled with bats and ghouls and trouser snakes, and I promise to protect you from all but one! What's that Skele-tone? Okay people, Skele-tone really out did himself and found this last minute doozy late last night while he was trying to find a ghoul-friend on Hott Buttz.com! You all ready for round three?
Drop it, Skele-tone!

Soul Snatcher feat. Kfiz "Creepin' Tonight"



Wow, Skele-tone...seriously?! Talk about frightening! Those dudes were mad scury and next time someone steps to me, I'm using the line..."You looking like Skeletor, and your old lady already look like...Skele-whore!" Talk about tight rhymes! Alrighty, we got one final track that is the perfect way to end this epic dance party! I hope you all are having a wicked Halloween and while I would hate to see it all come to an end, it has been a blast for us over here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby!

Helloween Halloween!



Happy Halloween!

Freddy's Halloween Dance Party! Round 2!

Hey there spooky specters and happy haunters, nice to see you're still hanging tough, NKOTB style and ready for some more DANCING!!! Skele-tones dealer just showed up a little while ago, so he's rearin' to go for at least another couple of hours and I hope you are too, because it is officially...Halloween! YIOPPIEOPE!

Oh no! I hear the sounds of something frightening, I hear the sounds of bumping and rattling chains - It must be the sounds of...

...Grim Grinning Ghosts!



Eek! Them ghosts sure are scury! I may need to seek "protection" from that chick in the cat costume. I just don't feel safe otherwise! Skele-tone, we gotta scare these ghosts away quick, spin something to fight off these evil forces!

The Misfits Halloween



Well, that certainly worked! Skele-tone has really outdone himself for Halloween, hasn't he?! Stay tuned kiddies, Halloween is going on all day long, so we'll be back for one last dance before the night closes in!

Freddy's Halloween Dance Party!

'Tis the season to be scary...and there is nothing scarier than a DUI (well, except for that burning sensation when I pee), so why not spend your night here, at the hottest club in all the land, Freddy's Halloween Dance Party! YAEAZA!! Halloween weekend is upon us and the barbarian of bones himself, dj Skele-tone has dusted off his collection of great Halloween music for us all to enjoy throughout the next two nights! That's right, it's a two day dance party filled with haunts and happenings and all coated in candy flavored ecstacy! So, what are we waiting for...lets drop that beat, Slele-tone!

This is Halloween!



Whew! That was good clean fun, now wasn't it? But this party isn't gonna stay family friendly much longer. In fact, I would like to create a family with at least a few of our female attendees by the end of the night, so lets grime it up a little shall we?!

Hit it, Skele-tone!

Dead Kennedy's Halloween



YAHHHOWSA!! That was dope, son! I need to take it easy for a moment, take a chill pill if you will. Or any sort of pill for that matter, but this party isn't over yet...expect a few more tight tracks from our bony buddy Skele-tone over the next 48 hours!

Top 13 Favorite Horror Sequels!

Hey! You look a little bored, so I got something fun for you to do - remember a few days ago when I mentioned the big Halloween Top 13: The Sequel thing that is going on at The Lightning Bug's Lair? Well, if you don't, our good friend, T.L. Bugg has been counting down a list of his favorite horror film sequels of all time in honor of Halloween! Each sequel he has picked has been paired up with a submission from readers and fellow bloggers lists of their fav sequels and I was lucky enough to be involved, so if you head over there right this second, you can read my list! What made the cut? You'll have to find out for yourself! I do want to thank Mr. Bugg for allowing me to take part with this project and for featuring my list so high up in the countdown...I am truly honored! So head over there and check it out by clicking right...here!

Chucktober Presents: The Final Horrifying Halloween TV Advertisements!

Unfortunately, all good (well, mediocre) things must come to an end, so here is the final batch of Halloween TV commercials for you to enjoy this fun and frightful week! I hope everyone got a kick out of these classic and not-so-classic advertisements, and hopefully they brought back some found memories of Halloweens past. I know I had a lot of fun putting them together and this last collection is a good one if I do say so myself!
Enjoy!

And once again, McDonald's!: What's more dangerous - a mallet, a chainsaw, an axe, or high cholesterol?



Doritos: Frankenstein's monster is such a loser.



Coors Light with Elvira!: Hmmm...I'd like to have an "adult party" with Elvira, if you know what I mean.



Fruity Yummy Mummy: Count Chocula and Frankenberry look for a place to love one another when they meet, Fruity Yummy Mummy...it's a match made in the closet.



Nick or Treat: This is one of my favorite of all the commercials that I have found since starting this thing back in the beginning of Chucktober - This ad came out at a time whene I was starting to learn about make-up FX and how they were done...I wanted to win this thing sooooo bad! What kid wouldn't?



Adios, folks!

Three More Days Till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

I went and put up a big fat baby ass with a pumpkin painted on it for my header in the spirit of the last week of Chucktober and the final and insanely sad moments before Halloween passes us by...like a candle in the wind. You know for a fact that baby ass is gonna be pumpkin pie for a certain bearded male with roundhouse kick capability, but till the season is over, safe that ass is. As always, I have had an okay Halloween, filled with a lot of excitement and a sliver of letdown for whatever lame reasons that decide to come up and ruin things.

I was off from work on Thursday and did whatever I do when not working (kicking a ton of ass and tanning). When Sunday rolled around, I was out of work remarkably early, so I thought, "I can go to one of the two local Haunted Houses tonight!" Nope. The mother fucking Haunted Houses are closed on Sundays - and here's the kicker...they're open on Thursdays! So I could have went to both of the local haunts in one day, but I would have never thought that a "weekend attraction" would be open on a weekday, let alone closed on a Sunday.

Being that I moved not too long ago, I got a new job, which is good, right? Yeah, good until you walk in and see a sign asking that no employees take off Halloween, or the day beforehand for that matter. I can begrudgingly deal with that a little more as I understand it's the weekend and I am new, so who am I really to complain. However, I will complain about the fact that two out of three pumpkins were snagged from my house the other night! I feel like I've been raped. By a shark. I shouldn't get too pissed...it's not like I've never taken a pumpkin from a house before, but mixed in with the Haunted House thing, it just really chaps my ass.

On the bright side, I am very happy that I can safely leave the rest of my Halloween decorations outside without anyone messing with them - and pumpkins of gigantic sizes are on sale at Walfart for $1. $1! Oh yeah, I did have a can of soup in the witches cauldron out in front to keep it from blowing away in the wind, but those cock-hairs took that too. At least it was vegetable soup, so no real loss I guess...in fact, I should thank them.

There have been plenty of ups to go with my downs however. I'm pretty psyched that I was able to see a few good horror films in theaters lately with Zombieland last week and Paranormal Activity tonight (reviews soon to follow). As always with this time of year, there are a ton of great Halloween programs on TV and I cannot get enough of it! Nothing says Halloween quite like Theo Huxtable in a Dracula custom topped off with a jheri curl wig! There is also a ton of Halloween fun to check out in the blog world too.

Over at Dinner With Max Jenke, my good buddy Jeff has a "Trick or Trailers" countdown to Halloween going on right this very second. He has some awesome trailers and his nostalgic thoughts on them are always entertaining. Every ones favorite Bugg, as in T.L. Bugg of The Lightning Bug's Lair has his own countdown titled: The Halloween Top 13: The Sequel! This is where he counts down his 13 favorite Horror sequels of all time and his picks have been mighty fine thus far. Also, keep a look out, as yours truly will be showing up on there with my own list of favorite horror sequels too! There are a ton of other blogs doing great Halloween shit, but too many for me to mention in just one post.

However, I would like to direct you all over to our good friends (and proud Baby Eaters!) at Planet of Terror who have an interview with Will Devokees, a 20 year old filmmaker who is finishing up his very first feature film, Macabre Medicine. This Grindhouse homage is self-financed by the young filmmaker and we here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby are big supporters of any one that has the tenacity to even attempt to make their own movie...independent Horror is the driving force of creativity, so support it I shall!

I gotta get moving...the Scream Awards are on and that will probably be kind of mediocre I'm sure, but at least it will have some cool shit on it mixed in with the lame musical performances, so I'll check it out. Thanks for listening to my whining and bitching and I would love to hear how your Halloween holiday season is going thus far. Until then, Happy happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

The Horror Hangover

Well, the lack of Halloween Horror has really turned around for this edition of The Horror Hangover. This is actually the final edition before Halloween since it lands on a Saturday this year, so there is plenty of horror fun to be had while you wither away in pain and dehydration this fine and dandy Sunday afternoon.

Starting as early as you can possibly get up after the night of debauchery you partook the previous evening, 10:30 AM brings you Wolf (1994) on AMC. You know the film, werewolves, hot Michelle Pfeiffer, and Jack Nicholson pissing on James Spader's pants. What better place to piss, I ask you?

Also at 10:30 AM and fulfilling your childhood needs, Casper Meets Wendy (1999) is on ABC Family - and it's on again at 12:00 PM over at the Disney Channel! WOW! Two chances to watch a Casper movie! The only thing I can guarantee with this one is...there will be an epic tan courtesy of George Hamilton. Because he is in the film, that's why I can guarantee it. Also, instead of a trailer, I give you something so much better...you know you love it.



12:00 PM brings out a copy of the Devils Diary (2007) courtesy of Lifetime! A Canadian made for television film about a cursed book that will grant any evil desire to whoever writes in it. Two high school girls find the book where one would use it for evil deeds, while the other would try to destroy it. Should be fantastic.



If your in the mood for even more teen trouble, at 12:00 PM MTV will be replaying My Super Psycho Sweet 16 (2009). This is my pick for some odd reason...I know this movie is gonna suck and I would honestly be disappointed if it didn't. Simply enough, it is a Slasher film set in the world of bratty little spoiled cunts on their birthday...excuse my English. I guess you could switch back and forth between Devils Diarrhea and SPS16 and together they could make for a good movie. Maybe.



12:00 PM isn't messing around this Sunday - An American Haunting (2006) will be showing thanks to our good buddy, SyFy. I never saw this film, but kinda wanted to until I heard how garbage it was. The film is based on the novel The Bell Witch: An American Haunting, by Brent Monahan and alternates between two separate haunting events in the 19th and 21st century...blah.



Last on the 12:00 PM chopping block, the History Channel is showing Exorcism: Driving Out the Devil (2006). A documentary on the history of the exorcism and how it is still practiced to this very day.

If a half an hour into any of those films at noon don't grab ya, 12:30 PM gives us Final Destination 2 (2003) on USA. My personal favorite of the Final Destination franchise, though as most of these films on the Hangover will have some cuts, I think that this one may suffer the worst of them all. USA is kinda weak with showing the goods on TV as opposed to some of the other channels. Still, it's a fun movie and should make for a good watch between puke breaks.



1:00 PM brings the more credible of the horror today with The Silence of the Lambs (1991) on A&E. You know the story, you know Hannibal Lecter, and you know all about tucking your dong in between your legs and dancing around like the pretty little princess that you truly are. This could be a pick for me, if I haven't seen it so many times already.

AMC is showing Alien 3 (1992) at 1:30 PM - I think Alien 3 is okay, hated it when I saw it in theaters, but it's tough to follow in the footsteps of the first two Alien films, to be fair. I would prefer to watch the "Directors Cut" that is not Fincher approved, but is apparently the cut he would have intended to be released. I never did see it, so if I watch Alien 3 again anytime soon, it will be in that capacity.

At 2:00 PM, SyFy is bringin' da pain with Stephen King's Rose Red (2002) - It's a miniseries, so it is going straight through and up until 8:00 at night! That's a lot of Hangover time! It's a Stephen King miniseries that is not directed by Mick Garris and I never saw it. That's all.



Rolling into a late afternoon Hangover, at 3:00 PM Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktakular (2003) will be on Cartoon Network. I had never heard about this Scary Godmother bologna before this post, but it's supposedly based off a very popular series of children's books and comics created by Jill Thompson. The animation style is a mixture of CGI for the characters, with a watercolor background, resulting in a very neat looking style all its own. Wud-eva.

3:00 PM brings us a more adult type of Halloween action with the History Channels Vampire Secrets (2006). I have probably seen this already, but would watch it again as it covers all aspects of Vampires - from Stoker's Dracula to the history of Elizabeth Báthory.

Getting close to shower time, FX brings us Snakes on a Plane (2006) at 3:30 PM. Snakes on a Plane is a bus load, or should I say, Plane load of fun...and here is a little known fact about me - I actually bought a Cobra Starship cd because I liked the song Snakes on a Plane - Bring It! "I can see the venom in your eyes!"



At 4:00 PM AMC has Alien Resurrection (1997) for your Alien fix - if Alien 3 wasn't enough. And I'm sure it was.

And lastly, at 4:00 PM, the Scary Godmother is back, with Scary Godmother: The Revenge of Jimmy (2005) again on the Cartoon Network. I already went over this one with you, so if you weren't paying attention...then shame on you, you little hussy!

I'm tapped kids...there is a lot to choose from and hopefully something tickles your pickle amongst the numerous choices for this weeks final Halloween inspired Horror Hangover. Until next Sunday, Baby Eaters!

Chucktober Presents: Horrifying Halloween TV Advertisements!

Only a little more than one week left until Halloween! Actually, I am already getting a little depressed by the fact that it's almost over....October flies by way too fast if you ask me! To help with the sadness of the forthcoming end of the Halloween season, I have another collection of Halloween advertisements to fulfill your nostalgic holiday needs!

Pillsbury Doughboy: Nothing says addiction quite like sugar cookies...they are the gateway to heroin.



Pepsi: The addiction continues into adulthood with "upper" echelon sugar snacks and cleavage.

Woolworth & Woolco: More shitty costumes...perfect for quick and painful deaths when near an open flame.



The Monsters of cereal!: Or, the monsters of drag?



McDonalds...again: Now at Mc Donalds - hamburgers made out of meal worms. How spooky!

One more week to go, and one more batch of Halloween ads are yet to come...see you on the flip side!

I Might Be Showing Paracinema My Jack-O-Face!

What better way to encapsulate the month of mayhem known as Chucktober, than by watching classic Halloween themed horror movies?! Okay, maybe I'm stretching a little when I say classic, but 1995's monster mash masterpiece, Jack-O is a horror film, and it is set during Halloween...so I'm not that far off, right?

I can't help but love cheesy holiday and event themed Slasher films of the utmost ridiculous nature - whether it be celebrating Independence Day with Uncle Sam - giving the gift of three abducted Innocent women to Ma dukes for Mothers Day - getting your diploma on Graduation Day, or drinking a pint with a Leprechaun in honor of St. Patrick's Day. Christmas has this "sub genre" on straight lock down with a slew of awesomely wacky and out there holiday horror with movies like Santa's Slay, Jack Frost, and Silent Night Deadly Night 2 just to name a few.

I think most of these films are set out to achieve what they are, and that is entertaining B-movies that aren't to be taken too seriously, but instead are meant to be fun. You almost cannot judge this type of film with other more serious, or direct horror movies - they are schlock and are to be judged for how many times you can roll your eyes back in giddy disbelief, or how many times you can simply say, wow. This type of film may be looked down upon by some, and that seems to be a little unfair since they are not made to win awards, or to actually be scary, let alone be taken seriously. I wonder how many of those same people went all ape shit for Eli Roth's Thanksgiving segment in Grindhouse...which is the epitome of the films I am talking about here. Maybe Thanksgiving could be looked at as a kind of gateway drug to these "bad" movies in a way...I'm more than okay with that.

So, now that I have completely rambled on about movies that are of the lowest score on IMDB, I should get back to the reason why I am here in the first place. That reason is Jack-O, which I just so happened to write a review of over at Paracinema...The Blog. It fits in perfectly with the films that I am unintentionally ranting about, and should fill your Halloween horror needs if you are looking for something on the trashy side to watch...and it is on Netflix instant watch! I'll tell you one thing, Jack-O is a whole hell of a lot better than Automaton Transfusion.

The Horror Hangover

This weeks Horror Hangover is brought to you by corn apparently, and you shouldn't have too much trouble figuring out why soon enough.

SyFy steps up to the horror plate once again with Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996) at 11:00 AM. This fourth film in the Corn series stars Karen Black and a pre-famous Naomi Watts...so that could prove interesting. I haven't watched any Corn movie after the original, which I can barely remember to be honest...but at least Black and Watts have something to bring to the table. Hopefully it's turkey to go with that corn! AHHHH!



At noontime, and keeping with the celebration that is known as Chucktober, Return to Halloweentown (2006) will be on the Disney channel. It's the fourth film in the popular Halloweentown series and has something to do with teens going to witch college? I'm not asking you which college, I'm telling you that they're going to witch college silly head! Cause I am a super Halloween dork, I will put stuff like Halloweentown on and watch it for a little bit...that is, until Lady Suzaka decides to call me a little girl. She's a hater.



The Corn keeps-a-coming at 1:00 PM when Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998) shows on...you guessed it, SyFy! This one has a very interesting cast with a pre-female Alexis Arquette, Kane Hodder, one of those douchbag Zappa kids, Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, the yummy Eva Mendes, and the late great David Carradine! That cast is enough alone to generate a little interest in the movie...a little. I'm sure there's some undigested Corn in there too.



More Halloween spooky fun comes to us from the Travel Channel at 2:00 PM with, Mysterious Journeys: The Ghosts of Gettysburg! Gettysburg, PA is known to be one of the most haunted locations in all of America, and nothing says Halloween quite like some real life apparitions and specters!

If you'’re too skerred for real ghosts, then you can just keep on enjoying the Corniest marathon in SyFy history! Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999) - returns at 3:00 PM and promises more scares that you could've ever expected to have on a Sunday afternoon spent on your couch holding back vomit! Besides being the number of the beast, this sixth installment marks the return of that creepy as shit John Franklin, who played Isaac in the original Children of the Corn...I know you wanna watch now, how can you miss the return of Isaac?!



My pick for this fine and frightening Sunday afternoon goes not to a movie, but instead, I'm taking you back to the Travel Channel for another episode of Mysterious Journeys: The Witches of Salem at 3:00 PM! The true accounts of the 1692 Salem, Mass. witch trials should be more than fulfilling for your Halloween horror needs, and what better way to spend an afternoon, than with a bunch of witches?! Hold on, I may have an answer to that...

You could turn that afternoon into a dinner date with Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001) at 5:00 on...uhm, SyFy! I wouldn't normally go this late into the day as it is past the hangover window, but how can I leave out the seventh installment of this frighteningly husky series, that is guaranteed to leave your ears deaf from all the screaming! Michael Ironside is in it, and Michael Ironside is awesome, so that may be enough to give this one a whirl. Or not.



Have a great afternoon, drunkards! And non-drunkards, of course!

Give Me Something Good to Eat

What seems like a millennium has passed since the first trailer for Trick 'r Treat, and now all of the anticipation has finally halted to a complete stop with the movie finally sitting comfortably in the disc tray of my DVD player. It came out sometime last week, so by now, everyone, including your mom, has written a review for Michael Dougherty's Halloween themed horror film. I won't go all crazy here with details, as I am sure most horror fans have had their fill of reviews for this movie and already know what needs to be known outside of personal opinion.

However, this is a film that had some major expectations to meet, and it is a film that seems to have divided many a horror fan...maybe not so much divided, as it is more a film that is not overwhelmingly loved by everyone, nor disliked either. I have completely avoided reviews for the sake of keeping my brain free of spoilers, but I do know that people either like, dislike, or are just kind of underwhelmed, by Trick 'r Treat.

For me personally, I really liked it, but I can see why some would not. Trick 'r Treat is a horror movie that even outside of unfair expectations, is geared towards a certain kind of horror fan...better yet, a certain kind of person. That horror fan, that person...is me. It is literally, as if someone opened up my cranium, stirred around the tiny little portion of brain fragments, and dumped out everything I love about the Halloween aesthetic. Every ounce of Trick 'r Treat hits on my love for every little intricate detail that comes along with All Hallows' Eve, from the atmosphere to the costumes, to the locations and right on down to the story.

Trick 'r Treat is an anthology film, but is not told in a direct "this is this story, and this is that story" kind of way, it is more of a Pulp Fiction narrative where characters intertwine and may make decisions that can affect other characters. While the stories are far from original, each one calls back to a different era for me, it is nostalgic in a way - first of all, it is an anthology, something that is not quite as prevalent in movies now, as they were when I was a little gangsta. So that alone pulls on my young little heart strings right there and may cause me to have my nostalgic blinders on firmly.

But it's more than just the anthology thing that gets me all giddy inside...in fact, if I could describe the inner makings of Trick 'r Treat in terms that are as simplistic as possible, which in turn, would explain what I like so much about the movie, it would be:

The Trick 'r Treat
Fill a 20 oz Gibraltar glass with ice so it is just over the top
Add 1 oz of Amazing Stories
2 oz of Tales from the Crypt
6 oz of Creepshow
Add a splash of baby blood (or you will catch a roundhouse)
Shake for 7 seconds
Garnish with a cherry and E.C. Comics orange flag
Straw, and serve

Those are ingredients that I love, the ingredients that along with the Halloween aspect - may even cause me to turn a blind eye to some of the issues that the movie does have. And it does have some issues, as I said, the stories are completely unoriginal, and all are things I have read in Creepy or Eerie magazine, or seen in movies and TV shows like Tales From the Darkside/Crypt, and Creepshow. Still, I love those moral tales of terror where someone is punished for their wrongdoings or their mistreatment of others...so even if I can call exactly what is going to happen before it happens, I still get a kick out of it. You could maybe pass it off as classic storytelling, myths and legends are the makings of these stories found within Trick 'r Treat and you aren't always getting a side of original with you order of classic as you may know.

If you think you would enjoy The Trick 'r Treat concoction I made for you, you may enjoy the movie as I did. If you enjoy the holiday of Halloween as I do, once again, you may enjoy the movie as I did. If not, then you may not enjoy the movie, but I don't know, cause I'm not you, now am I? If I was you, how could I hug and hold you dearly? I could get all into the characters, and be more specific with plots, breakdown what I liked about the film technically, and blah, fucking blah. What it all comes down to, and if this makes sense, Trick 'r Treat is not a perfect film, but in many ways, it's a perfect film for me.

There's Nothing to Clean, Dude

Director Adam Green posted his 11th annual Halloween short film and I found it to be quite entertaining, so I thought you might too.

The Horror Hangover

First of all, I want to sincerely thank everyone for all the great feedback and kind words on the first edition of The Horror Hangover! You all might not have as many kind things to say after this Sunday afternoons slate of films that I have lined up for you...but I didn't have much to choose from either. Plus, you're hung-over, so you'll probably nap through half of the movies if you decide to watch any of them anyways. You would think that with Halloween creepin' and crawlin' closer by the day, there would be more decent horror films on Sunday at noontime, but that really isn't the case. So please, bear with me here.

First up at 11:00 AM we have BloodRayne II: Deliverance (2007) on Sy Fy. Directed by Uwe "I completely appreciate him" Boll, BloodRayne II takes the popular Vampire franchise (HA HA!) and plops it dead smack in the middle of the 1880's Wild West, where Rayne has to stop the vampire version of Billy the Kid (HA HA HA!) and his undead posse of vampire cowboys! I personally have learned to love and enjoy the work of cinema master, Uwe Boll, but most people hate his movies and him. If Boll's movies aren't your bag, then you may still find some fun in this one since it is on at 11:00 AM and you are probably still a little drunk from the night before. Oh, and Natassia Malthe is pretty hot too...if that's your thing.



At 12:00 PM you can double your pleasure with Twitches Too (2007) on The Disney channel! No, it's not about crack or meth addicts, but it does star Tamera and Tia Mowry, who are best known for their genre film work in the classic horror television series, Sister, Sister. I didn't bother to look up the details about the plot of Twitches Too, but I do know that you will need a double take to take in all the double trouble these two teen witch's have in store for you! Betcha that BloodRayne II ain't looking so bad now, huh?



1:00 PM brings us yet another Vampire movie with Rise: Blood Hunter (2007) palying on (thank the heavens for) Sy Fy. Rise stars the delectable Lucy Liu and Vic Mackey himself, Michael Chiklis - who puts in a performance worthy of a deli it's so hammy! I will go with Rise: Blood Hunter as your best bet for this Sundays Horror Hangover - I actually think this film is not too bad, and not that you would or should, but if expectations are in line and not too high, you will find some enjoyment out of this little Vampire film. Lucy Liu is great and there is nothing hotter than O-Ren Ishii with a set of fangs and covered in blood, well, outside of Chiklis doing his best Chiklis imitation that is.



And just before it's time for you to finally role off the couch, Prom Night (2008) is on ENC at 2:40 PM. You know all about the Prom Night remake, I did a write up for it myself over at Paracinema a few months ago, and while it inspired some good thought, it does so for the wrong reasons. The movie is pretty shit ball, but if you were up late last night doing more than drinkin' alcohol and you still just can't get up and off the couch by this time, then I guess you could watch Prom Night. Here is my question though, I have no idea what this ENC channel is...I looked it up, but it was a pain in the dick trying to find anything out about it. I think it's an Encyclopedia Channel or something? I don't know - maybe no one has ENC and therefore no one will have to be subjected to the poopieness of Prom Night "08!


Well, hopefully next Sunday will bring a little more in the quality dept. as by then we will be knee deep in Chucktober (!), but there are at least a couple of things to check out while wasting away the day this fine Sunday afternoon. Make sure to drink plenty of water!

Chucktober Presents: Horrifying Halloween TV Advertisements 2: The Frightening!

Boy, is it getting chilly out - all the leaves are staring to turn color - I've been seeing more and more horror films playing on the boob tube - my neighbors have strange and frightening decorations on their lawn and on their front porches - and when I go to the grocery store, I cannot help but think I smell pumpkin pie and apple cider in the air. That can only mean one thing...IT'S CHUCKTOBER!! To carry on with the month long celebration of the greatest season and holiday, I have yet another batch of spooky TV commercials guaranteed to scare the witch's brew right out of ya! So lets get on with it already!

McDonald's: Ronald: What are you making? McNuggets: We're scaring up secret sauces! Aka making Meth.



Boo Berry: Is it just me, or does Boo Berry make your Pooh a Berry odd color?



Radio Shack 2001: Two left feet?! Maybe it's because he was left for dead!



Pizza Hut: Is this ad condoning cannibalism?



Okay, I have absolutely nothing snarky to say about this last advertisement, because it is one of my all time favorite Halloween themed commercials. Why? Because this commercial so reminds me of being young during the Halloween season - it reminds me of just chillin' in the cut, sitting in front of the living room TV, watching watered down horror movies on cable, and loving every single minute of it. I am pretty sure most people outside of the Massachusetts area do not know of this company as I think it was mainly a New England thing, but Carvel was wicked good, and these commercials always made me happy and got me excited for Halloween. I can almost guarantee that I have some old VHS tapes of Horror movies that I recorded off of TV, and this commercial would be present in a quite a few of them!

Carvel Ice Cream!: Looked the same coming out, as it did going in! Sorry, I tried.



That's all she wrote kiddies! See you next week...if the monsters don't get you first that is!

The Horror Hangover

Welcome to The Horror Hangover! A "MAD" experiment I am putting on where every Sunday, you can stop by the very blog you are reading right now, to find out what good or bad genre/cult movies are playing - while you lay on the couch all afternoon - sweating out the alcohol and other toxins you may have ingested throughout your wild weekend! I think I may actually call this segment The Hangover (so don't steal it!) since I will not limit my film choices to just horror movies all the time. However, it is Chucktober, so I will stick to the horror highway for this wonderful month! I'm not sure exactly how this will work out every week, whether I will pick one film, or a handful of films that are playing on TV, maybe it just depends on the movies themselves. I do know that the movies will always be on in the afternoon, thus the name, The Horror Hangover and they will not be on pay channels so most people will have the access to watch the movies I post. All times are Eastern too!

For this first edition of The Horror Hangover, I have three films for you to check out if you are planning on loungin' on the couch all day, and aren't a football fan...

At 11:00 AM The Headless Horseman (2007) will be on SY FY. Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante, who is some one I know as the make up FX guy behind horror masterpieces like Wishmaster 2, The Dentist 2, and other such number 2's! It riffs on the Washington Irving story saying that it was not the real story, but this one is!! How scary! It's Sy Fy, so you're never exactly sure what you're getting...well, you are kinda sure that your getting shit I guess, but that's just details! I personally think it looks great, but that's just me...Mr Taste.


Next up - Disturbia (2007) is on TNT at 12:30 PM. You more than likely know this movie already as it was a somewhat popular film when it came out in theaters. I never saw it, though I always kinda wanted to, heard it was meh-to-okay. Shia Lapoop is the star, and the film is like Rear Window without Hitchcock. Nuff said.


If you are still on the fringe of tossing cookies, then the best is saved for later on in the afternoon as Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956) will be on Turner Classic Movies at 2:30 PM. If you can't figure out what the movie is about based off from the title, then watch Disturbia please. This would be my pick for best Sunday afternoon movie, then again it is the only one that I have seen, so I may be biased. It's a classic in the purest form, it's straight up black and white Science Fiction with Saucer FX by the great Ray Harryhausen! How can you go wrong?!


I guess you could essentially watch all three films with a little overlap from Horseman and Disturbia if you so choose. If you have any films that you know of, I will try and have these up after midnight on Saturdays, so feel free to leave a comment if you would like to share with the rest of us. Also, feedback is more than welcome...any ideas or criticisms would be very appreciated, so please feel free! Hope you have enjoyed this first edition of The Horror Hangover! See you next week!

Chucktober Presents: Horrifying Halloween TV Advertisements!

In honor of the month of madness, the four weeks of fear, the 31 days of doom - I will rename the month of October to a moniker more fitting to my personal blogging needs - CHUCKTOBER! Take a minute, go ahead, take in the awesomeness slowly, or your lungs will collapse. The moment I thought of the name, "Chucktober," my nose began to bleed in a fashion very similar to that of a Scanner-on-Scanner brawl in the middle of a windy deserted street...that's how intense Chucktober is. Now if only I had though about it three days ago. Okay, you seem alright now, so lets get into it already, if there is one thing I have always loved during the days leading up to Halloween, it is the fun advertisements that play on TV. Sure they are just meant to prey on children and the weak minded with their fancy words and pretty colors, in the hopes that they will make profits for this quarter. But when it comes to Halloween and Horror ads, lets just say, my mind weakens faster than you can spell relief. Here is a handful of cool Halloween themed commercials I hand selected for this week, and I plan on doing a batch of theses classic, and not so classic TV ads every week until the earth is covered in spooks and specters on the 31st of CHUCKTOBER!!!
Enjoy!

Toys 'R Us: If my parents got me any of these costumes, I would pull a Macaulay.



Capt. Crunch: Nothing says Halloween quite like peanut butter?



Doritos: Now I wonder, who exactly started the fire in the fireplace?



Dunkin' Donuts: Unfortunately, kids prefer smack over donuts these days.



There you have it! Look for another batch of ads sometime next week, hope you all enjoyed seeing these commercials...I know they all induced some nice memories for me, and hope they did for you as well!

The Halloween Countdown Tree Takes Over Chuck Norris Ate My Baby!

Thanks to one of my friends, I found this nifty little thingamabobber aka the Halloween Countdown Tree on Face book and I just had to have it for the blog! It is a bit intrusive, but still very cool, and I love knowing exactly...to the very second, how long before it is time to celebrate Halloween! So, unless you all hate the sight of this thing (and I would take that into consideration), it will be right here at the top of the page reminding you that the time dress up and get down is almost near!

Halloween? Did somebody say....Halloween?!

And so it begins - the yearly decorating for my favorite of holidays, Halloween! I'm super excited to be able to share some of my Halloween love with you all through Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and I'm sure there will be more than a few posts concerning the subject of Ol' Hallow's Eve. In my first Halloween themed post, I thought I would share with you a couple of photos of my so far decorations! Here, at the front door of the ol' Baby Eating lair, I have put together a nice conglomeration of horror imagery with a couple of sick looking gravestones that I have had in my "possession" forever, a random skull and hand, along with my newest addition, the skull dude with cloak that I bought for a measly $10! In the window of the front door, you will notice an Eaten Baby skeleton just hanging around, along with some masterfully done spider webs! There will be more added to this as I will put some tight pumpkins going down the stairs for added awesome Halloween effect and I'm sure I will find something cool in stores to add - in any event, I think it looks quite nice so far!

One of the coolest things about the new Baby Eating lair is, there's a fireplace! And where there's a fireplace, there's a mantle for me to cover with Halloween goodies! It may be hard to see everything on the mantle, but I have the mummy dude and the three headed dude (or dudes?) that came from Yankee Candle thanks to the awesome, Lady-Suzaka. There is the skeleton faux candle holder that if you notice only has one light that is working...well, I've had that thing for about 16 years, but some of the other lights will all of the sudden start working from outta no where...like it's possessed! So I don't replace them 'cause I'm weird like that. I love the glass pumpkin candy holder that we got a few years ago, but I had no candy to put in it yet, so I put a couple packages of Ramen noddles in there for the time being. I should point out, if you look closely, you will see the one and only Bruce Campbell and myself in that picture!

Alright, that is enough excitement outta me for now...I'm sure I will be back soon with some more Halloween love, but in the meantime, there are a few blogs that I will direct you to that love to share the Halloween wealth! The first one is Freddy in Space - Not just specifically a Halloween themed blog, as it is a horror blog in general, but John loves Halloween and often puts up some great and very fun posts concerning the Season of the Witch. Another one is, Frog on the Pumpkin - A full on Halloween themed blog filled with all sorts of haunts and scares for any Halloween fiend to enjoy and love! Any suggestions for good Halloween themed blogs, or if you have any good Halloween stories, please feel free to share them!