Wax Nostalgic

After a short yet grueling day of work had finally come to a long awaited end

My mind was tired, body beat but no rest as Bolo was still to be fed

I gave him food, gave him blood, gave him my own internal wine

He then arose and flexed his pecs as he felt the rejuvenating strength returning to his vine

I quickly moved my behind inside where I would simply coast and sail

Directly to the couch where a nap would be most certain and without much fail

I made one quick stop as I passed by my sun kissed front door

To check inside the mail box when my jaw dropped and nearly hit the floor

As I began to feel an internal warmth fill deep down inside my core

I slightly screeched as from within my reach came a prize that only one such as I could truly adore

As unexpected as it was this could not have had better timing

With the summer heat that's nearly broken me, for fall's start I have truly been dying

It's a reminder that the greatest time of year will soon be here, so there is no need for me to fret

And my excitement for fall and Halloween is incredible, this much you can surely bet

Now the day is done, my mind content, and I can claim it truly complete

As I plop down on my couch and open up to enjoy this wonderful festive treat

I ignored my TV as there was nothing that could compete on each and every channel

When the greatest thing to me at this very moment is the 2011 Halloween edition of Yankee Candle

The Time Is Near, But Not Nearly Close Enough, Apparently

If you weren't already aware, there is very little as far as shopping goes in my crack of the butt. The closest mall is about an hour drive, so when ever my filet of solemate and I get the chance to make it to an area with a copious amount of shopping to do, it's somewhat of an exciting thing. This past weekend we went to an area with a lot of strip malls, as well as a regular mall, and I of course had one thing on my mind… 

I know for a fact that when I see a store of this size, with a sign made of dreams and wet butterfly kisses, I am in for a real treat. Deciding to save this behemoth for last was a good call since it would give us – well…me - something to look forward to after our adventures at the mall. However, nothing can take the gas right out of your ass quite like driving up, only to see a sign that says "Opens September 1st!" If you look at the date, like right now, it's not September 1st. Not even a little bit. This treat quickly turned into a trick right before my eyes, and to say all my dreams were suddenly crushed and pooped on would be an understatement.

However, there was a sliver of magical dust that was sprinkled on this darkened day, which came in the form of a Yankee Candle store that was located at the mall. After much deliberating - and sniffing - me lady and I decided that the scent of Farmer's Market would best suit the festivities known as fall. Seriously, it smells so incredible that I simply cannot get enough of it. I accidentally got some on my fingers and just couldn't hold back from smelling them constantly all day long afterwards. Imagine what the cashier at the gas station must've thought, especially since I was there to use the toilet.

To go with this candle of awesome - and after another majorly tough decision - I picked out this wonderful Flickering Haunted House Jar Shade. You can clearly tell that this thing is rad in the photo, but of course, there is not a photo that can truly capture just how great this thing looks when it's dark and it illuminates my surroundings with spooky specters and happy haunts. It's Halloween happiness in the purest form, and it should certainly hold me over until September 1st hits. 

House of Wax

As the summer heat beats intensely pounding fiercely on my back, I hope and pray that the season will soon end – it's as simple as that. While darkness and chill slowly fill the air, I stroll up the walkway - with a bit less despair. The cold breeze is strong and digs deep inside my lung, I then soon realize that the time has nearly come. With each little step I take I have absolutely no clue, just what waits for me up ahead - oh whoopee doo. I reach inside a box of gold plated metal, but did not find bills, junk nor my Netflix copy of Barbra Streisand's Yentl. Instead I felt the full color pages of something great, something grand, something I find impossible to hate. All my humid summer woes were suddenly fast forgot, as I quickly entered my darkened home – without even the slightest of thought. The time has finally come and it's nearly too exciting for me to handle, as I opened up the 2010 Halloween edition of - Yankee Candle.      

Halloween? Did somebody say....Halloween?!

And so it begins - the yearly decorating for my favorite of holidays, Halloween! I'm super excited to be able to share some of my Halloween love with you all through Chuck Norris Ate My Baby, and I'm sure there will be more than a few posts concerning the subject of Ol' Hallow's Eve. In my first Halloween themed post, I thought I would share with you a couple of photos of my so far decorations! Here, at the front door of the ol' Baby Eating lair, I have put together a nice conglomeration of horror imagery with a couple of sick looking gravestones that I have had in my "possession" forever, a random skull and hand, along with my newest addition, the skull dude with cloak that I bought for a measly $10! In the window of the front door, you will notice an Eaten Baby skeleton just hanging around, along with some masterfully done spider webs! There will be more added to this as I will put some tight pumpkins going down the stairs for added awesome Halloween effect and I'm sure I will find something cool in stores to add - in any event, I think it looks quite nice so far!

One of the coolest things about the new Baby Eating lair is, there's a fireplace! And where there's a fireplace, there's a mantle for me to cover with Halloween goodies! It may be hard to see everything on the mantle, but I have the mummy dude and the three headed dude (or dudes?) that came from Yankee Candle thanks to the awesome, Lady-Suzaka. There is the skeleton faux candle holder that if you notice only has one light that is working...well, I've had that thing for about 16 years, but some of the other lights will all of the sudden start working from outta no where...like it's possessed! So I don't replace them 'cause I'm weird like that. I love the glass pumpkin candy holder that we got a few years ago, but I had no candy to put in it yet, so I put a couple packages of Ramen noddles in there for the time being. I should point out, if you look closely, you will see the one and only Bruce Campbell and myself in that picture!

Alright, that is enough excitement outta me for now...I'm sure I will be back soon with some more Halloween love, but in the meantime, there are a few blogs that I will direct you to that love to share the Halloween wealth! The first one is Freddy in Space - Not just specifically a Halloween themed blog, as it is a horror blog in general, but John loves Halloween and often puts up some great and very fun posts concerning the Season of the Witch. Another one is, Frog on the Pumpkin - A full on Halloween themed blog filled with all sorts of haunts and scares for any Halloween fiend to enjoy and love! Any suggestions for good Halloween themed blogs, or if you have any good Halloween stories, please feel free to share them!