Halloween is in full swing ’round these here parts, and with that comes the final touches to our outdoor Halloween decorations!
Much like what was done for the indoor setup, I made some of these decorations myself, and for very little money at that. A few of the standouts are the “Smell My Feet” sign, which I made by painting over an existing Dollar Tree Halloween sign as well as adding some dangling “witch feet,” which were also a repurposed Dollar Tree Halloween decoration. The other is the witch’s cauldron, wherein I made a teepee out of dowels and some crafting string, and like the indoor cauldron, made some glowing burning embers out of great stuff and battery operated LED lights. We already had the cauldron, so all in all this decoration cost very little to put together.
In any event, it was hard to capture how the decorations look on video, as they look best at night when all the spooky lights are on, so I ended up making a video collage of images that nicely captures everything in a satisfactory fashion. I’m happy with how it came out, and I hope you take a moment to check out the video for yourself. If you do, then be sure to let me know your thoughts as well as what you’ve been up to so far this Halloween season!
It’s October 1st, which means it’s time to kick off the sickest and twistedest celebration of all, Chucktober!
A month-long celebration of all things Halloween and horror, Chucktober is guaranteed to make you shake and shiver! Though, I suppose that could just be speed wearing off, but there’s no denying the results.
After finally having finished decorating the inside of my house for Halloween, I figured the best way to kick off this season of insanity is by sharing the results with you via this handy video posted on my YouTube channel, which I just know you are already subscribed to... RIGHT?!
I’m pretty happy with how everything turned out, especially the witch’s cauldron and the spooky village, both of which were handmade by my own hands, both of which I was born with. Beat that.
I expect I’ll have the outdoor Halloween decorations finished in the next few days, and when I do, I’ll be sure to share my results with you here. Until then, please enjoy the video, and happy Chucktober, friends!
If you'd like more amazing Chucktober content, CLICK HERE!!
While some elements of the Halloween season are and will continue to be hindered by the ongoing apocalypse we are currently going through, the great thing about the season of spook is just how many fun things there really are to do. And really, when it comes to Halloween, some of the most enjoyable elements are those little things, from lighting that dusty Pumpkin Fart Dollar General candle that’s been sitting on your bookcase since last October, to the dangerously dark shit you get from eating too many Halloween Oreos.
As is the case every season, I’ve been witch’s tit deep into all things Halloween, and whether you like it or not, I’m going to share some of what I’ve been up to with you right this very second.
HallowBaby Halloween training continues...
The decorating process is still, well, in the process, but this year I decided to start creating some fun decorations of my own, which is something we hadn’t done since 2013 when I posted these two videos (Indoor Halloween DecorationsOutdoor Halloween Decorations).
So far this year, with some inspiration from the Demon Queen of the Demented (better known ‘round these parts as my wife), I hand cut this Haunted village out of poster board, which as you can see will be backlit by some seriously spooky orange lights. We plan to do more with this, but this is the main theme for the mantle, and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.
We also decided to do a witch theme this year, which will be highlighted by a not-quite-started and more complex cauldron for the front/outside of the house, and a more simple cauldron for the fireplace inside the house. The inside cauldron was done by encasing a set of orange LED lights in some expanding foam sealant to create the look of burning embers, and the cauldron is simply a $1 cauldron with some green LED lights inside and some spider webbing around the edge to make it look as if a bubbling brew is boiling over. Once everything is all said and done, I plan to post a video of how it all looks.
I don’t think I need to go into detail about the state of the cinema in 2020, but while things have been pretty bleak on the multiplex front, the drive-in made a bit of a comeback this Summer, and I am lucky enough to have a couple drive-ins near me. As a result, I have been able to take in a ton of movies at the drive-in, which really kicked off at the beginning of the Summer with a viewing of Jaws. Following Jaws came some family friendly drive-in trips to see ET and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, both of which are big favorites in my household.
As cool as all that was, things really kicked into gory gear over the last month, where I was able to catch a double feature of A Nightmare on Elm Street paired up with The Lost Boys and a double feature of The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2. It was all pretty awesome getting the opportunity to see movies that are so integral to my development as a horror fan on the big screen, and at the Drive-in no less. Hopefully they’ll keep the goodies coming throughout October.
There’s plenty more I could go over, but at this point you’ve probably begun to decay due to boredom. So with that being said, I hope you have found some nice Halloween silver linings to keep your spirits up so far this season, and if so, I’d love to hear all about it!
Oh, hey there. It’s been awhile. In fact, it’s been almost a year. I don’t feel like dwelling on the lack of content on this here ol’ blog over the past year, as it really all comes down to time, which I have very little of. But hey, I’m here now, and that’s all that really matters. Right? RIGHT?!! Don’t give me that look…
I honestly don’t really have any plans for what I’m going to do here during this fine month of Chucktober. Normally I would have a ton of stuff all prepped and ready to rock and roll your black little soul. But that’s simply not the case this year. However, regardless of not having anything planned, and regardless of not knowing what kind of content I’ll be doing, let alone how much I’ll actually be putting out, I simply cannot ignore the fact that it is my favorite time of the year, and Chucktober plays a fairly sizable part in that. Needless to say, I simply cannot let the month slide by without trying to do whatever I can to get some sort of content up, as minimal as it may very well be, as Chucktober has been a part of my Halloween celebration for 9 years now.
Anyway, seeing as it is indeed the season of scary, I figured I’d share a few photos of the Halloween happenings that have been going down in my life.
You may be familiar with Hallowbaby aka my baby, who is not much of a baby these days. In fact, just today when I asked her how she felt about being Hallowbaby, she was quick to inform me that she is not Hallowbaby, she is HallowBigGirl. Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. In any event, here are a few photos of Hallowwhatever enjoying a day of pumpkin picking and overall Halloween fun.
__________________________
I just recently picked up VHS copies of The Official Eddie Spuhghetti Halloween Companion Vol. 1 and Vol. 2 courtesy of Here Lies. To give you a quick history of these companions, each tape is meant to play out like a 6 hour block of Halloween-inspired television, complete with movies, Halloween specials, TV episodes, and kick-ass, retro Halloween/horror-centric commercials.
Vol. 1 is now completely sold out, but there are a few copies of Vol. 2 left if you still rock a VCR and have a hankering for Halloween. Just hit up OSI 74 to grab yourself a copy before it’s too late.
__________________________
Lastly, we finally got some decorating done outside. I went heavy on the spider webs, which I know I’ll regret come November. The lights at the top actually flicker. Because they’re spooky. They can also make exaggerated, Frankenstein electricity sounds if I so please, which is pretty cool. There is still more work to do, but I’m happy with what we have done so far.
__________________________
So for now I shall bid you farewell. As previously mentioned, I don’t know how much you’re going to see from me, but if I didn’t post anything at all, I would feel really sad. But sad I won’t be, because it is indeed Chucktober, so lets kick this party off on the FRIGHT foot!
As many of you are well aware, the Halloween season is well underway. In fact, it’s impossible not to notice if you’ve stepped foot into any type of store over the past month or so. As is the case with every Halloween season, I am gourds-deep in everything orange and black, and I thought it would be nice to share with all three of you just what I’ve been up to in the days leading to…
CHUCKTOBER!!!
If you’ve been a long-time reader of CNAMB, then you should be familiar with Bolo, the mighty gourd plant that I started growing some years back. This season Bolo came on STRONG and grew so large that things got a little scary for a minute.
Unfortunately, however, Bolo fell ill, and do to his size it was tough/expensive keeping him healthy. As a result, Bolo kicked the bucket pretty early this season, but not before giving us a handful of new gourds to decorate our crack house with.
What’s interesting is that each year Bolo gives us vastly different looking gourds, and this year was no different. This is specific to the five oddly shaped gourds that were best described by a friend as vaginal, something that might come in handy one of these lonely nights.
As is the case every year, I am spending my days of darkness enjoying as many seasonal beers as possible. After coming across this shrine erected by the mighty Kroger, I knew the season had officially begun!
Below are but a few of the many Fall/Pumpkin beers I’ve been enjoying…
And of course, no Halloween season would be complete without me ingesting a ton of Halloween influenced junk food. I am a complete sucker for Halloween packaging, something I am only slightly ashamed of, and I have been doing nothing more than adding to my potential for developing diabetes.
Here’s a sample of my inability to control myself…
Normally by this time of year, I would have most of my Halloween decorating done. However, the days leading up to the month of madness have been overtaken by something other than Halloween. Specifically the fact that my mail-order bride and I have a child on the way, which I think is an acceptable reason to not get a lot of Halloween decorating done.
What’s sort of fitting about this whole baby thing is the fact that she (as in a girl!) is due on November 4th, which is obviously right around Halloween. What are the chances, right?! Anyway, I have my claws crossed that our daughter will be born on Halloween day, but outside of black magic, I have very little control over that whole thing.
In any event, my mail-order in-laws were awesome enough to throw my mail-order bride a baby shower, and seeing as she is due right around Halloween, Halloween was indeed the theme for the baby shower.
Below are a few photos of the decorating they did, which I think came out pretty darned fantastic!
That about does it for now, kiddies. Hope you enjoyed this in-depth look into all the Halloween Happenings I have been enjoying over the past month or so. Now I have to get my rock-hard ass in gear and start setting up for Chucktober, so soon thou shall see you!
We are knee-deep in the haunted marshes of October, and after a frightening amount of rain and a few days of wicked wind, my witch bitch and I were finally able to put up our outdoor Halloween decorations!
Last year was the first Halloween where we started to go all out with our outdoor decorations. Sadly, however, last year was a little rough for us, as a lot of what we had done as far as decorating goes was rocked by the lame weather that comes with living in a wind tunnel (you can read more about that here). But hey, it was a learning experience, and with last year under our proverbial belt, we went into Halloween 2013 armed with the smarts to do things a little different as a way to counteract that loser wind.
Anyway, some things are similar to last Halloween, namely the Rave to the Graveyard being back in full effect. Also, we did get a new Pumpkin Light Cover Guy, which was one of last year’s horrific wind casualties. Outside of that, we do have a few new additions, specifically the two jack-o jerks offs and the skele-whore, both of which we built ourselves. Of course it’s pretty obvious that they’re homemade, but they only cost us about $15-$20 in materials to make all three. Plus they were fun to make, so there’s that, too.
I’ll stop jibber-jabbing and let you get to watching the video. Hope you guys dig our decorations, and be sure to keep your eyes peeled for some of Bolo’s babies!
While October is still more than a few days away, the Halloween celebration has been in full-swing here at the CNAMB dungeon of doom. Naturally my bare breasted vampire woman and I have already spent countless hours perusing the Halloween goodies that all the stores have to offer, looking for various ideas and sales and such. Furthermore, and the reason why I’ve brought you all here today, we’ve already decorated the inside of our humble abode of doom, which you can see for yourself in the video below!
Hope you all enjoy our spooky decorations, and I’ll be seeing you all in less than a week for the start of Chucktober!
Despite it being mid-August, I've already gotten a strong whiff of the upcoming Fall/Halloween season. Many stores have begun putting out their Fall gear, with some even having much of their Halloween items already on shelves. However, one of the biggest indicators that Halloween is on it's way comes in the form of our good friend Bolo, a gourd plant(s) that I started growing in my backyard about two seasons ago. During the last two Fall seasons, Bolo has given me and my slave woman a bounty of awesome gourds, but as you’ll soon see, this year things are certainly off to a very different start.
Here's a look at Bolo from exactly one year ago:
And below is Bolo right now. Same time of year but easily 80% bigger! I'm like mudda fuggin' Dr. Greenthumb and shit!
Based off past experience, Bolo will only get bigger, and chances are it will completely take over my entire home and eat me alive. And I'm okay with that, so long as it gifts me with many a gourd to decorate my house with this October.
Anyway, for those of you who would like to know more about the history of this beautiful creature (which is likely none of you), then click HERE for a look at Bolo past!
I wanted to take a quick moment to share some of the front yard decorating my domestic partner in crime and I had done for Halloween this year. Unfortunately, however, as exciting as this should be, this post is plagued by sadness and despair. More on that in a minute, though. In the meantime, I'll go over these sick pics real quick so you can see what we did!
Here are a couple of jack-o'-lanterns that my slave lady and I carved up to ward off demon's during the Halloween season. This was only our second Halloween carving jack-o'-lanterns, and I think they came out pretty rad, especially considering we did them freehand.Ain't no stencils up in dis piece!
This is a quick glimpse of the rave to the graveyard we put together. This is certainly the most we've ever done as far as outdoor decorating goes, and I like how it all came together. I actually built the spooky looking dude on the left as well as the rave to the graveyard fence, both of which were done for under $10 in total.
Here's a video that will give you a better look at what we did as far as decorating goes. Don't mind me being an idiot, because I don't.
Anyway, as great as all this Halloween decorating was, tragedy struck. Well, actually, lame Ohio weather struck, and because we live on the flat chested part of the country, most of these beautiful decorations took a beating from Mother Nature's unrelenting flatulence. No matter how well I reinforced them, all of the rave to the gravestones were uprooted two or three times, and no matter how far into the ground I stuck him, the grim reaper dude also kept getting blown over. To top it all off, our awesome $2 pumpkin light cover was blown away and into oblivion, never to be seen again. $2 or not, that shit pissed me off like you wouldn't believe. That thing delivered an orange glo powerful enough to clean any surface.
In the end, I gave up on constantly trying to re-secure and reinforce shit, only to have it get rocked like a hurricane on a constant basis. I've taken out all of the rave to the gravestones as well as the grim reaper dude and away they have been put for the season. At this point, I'm over it. Though, for the record, we did carve the jack-o'-lanterns after all that shit went down, so that's helped make this disaster a little easier to deal with. Keyword being little.
RIP Pumpkin Light Cover Guy
May your orange light glow oh so brightly in pumpkin light cover guy heaven.
It's been nearly a month now since I first introduced the world to the creature growing in my backyard that doubles as both beauty AND the beast. Within that short amount of time, Bolo has made incredible strides, growing so massive and powerful that even Bud Selig couldn't ignore it. Well, he probably would anyway, but I digress. It has been long enough, with more than enough results, to follow-up with the epic monster that adorns my back yard. That sounds so brutal.
On with it, damn it!
Okay, first things first, here is a photo from the introductory post where I unleashed this bad boy unto you last month. Just to give you something to compare it to.
As you can see, Bolo has grown more than a 12 year old boy looking through those boxes in the attic labeled "Dad's Stuff." Bolo is officially out of control, growing so long that he now has his own transportation system, complete with trains and homeless people. It's incredible.
All that growth and shit is awesome and all, but this thing is here for one reason and one reason only, to suck my…I mean, to produce bad-ass mutant gourds for me to turn into bongs that I can sell to the neighborhood kids. And holy poop has Bolo been barefoot like Contessa since last month. The three gourds pictured above actually started growing shortly after the first post at the beginning of August, and since then, they have just about fully grown. I took a picture of one in my gross looking hand to give you an idea of their size.
Reminds me of those days spent at Uncle Steve's house
So, these first three came out swinging, however, there were a handful more that started and, unfortunately, didn't make it. You see, I had a small surgery on my arm a few weeks back due to an arm-wrestling injury where I was trying to go over the top, but instead, I ended up on the bottom. Sadly, this surgery kept me from trimming the bushes surrounding Bolo, therefore taking away from the amount of sun he was receiving, causing more than a few Bolo abortions.
A moment of silence…
After realizing that the dead babies were being caused by a lack of sunlight, and me drinking a gallon of schnapps, I called upon Oden and pulled out the strength to trim those wicked bushes, therefore giving Bolo the light that he needs to grow strong again! The results, well, within one day, three new baby Bolos came up (with many more lingering) and all look to be quite healthy in their infant stages as you will see below when you look there.
See?!
The two on the right look as if they've been pollinated (due to how the flowers look), but I won't be sure until tomorrow. The one on the left is good to go, and it should be noted that the one on the left has a distinct yellowish/orange bottom that doesn't appear on any of the other gourds from the first batch that you saw up above. Also, none of these gourds, thus far, look at all like the one that I stuck in the ground to start all of this, so I am curious as to how these things will all look in the end.
Alright, that's way too long a post about for me to talk about a plant, but I am proud of my baby boy Bolo and hope you all enjoy seeing his progress thus far. I'll do another update sometime next month, depending on progress, of course. Hopefully by that time, you know, in October (!), there will be some serious momentum and possibly even some new decorations from all of this!
It's September 1st, bitches, and you know what that means, right?! No, it's not time for your monthly urine test that you have to do as a part of your probation. Well, it is, but that's not what I'm here for. Of course, I am talking about Halloween, which is now only 59 days away! I certainly have the fever, and I gander that you do too, so I thought it would be fun if I were to do a special Dumpster Diving for Gold showcasing a few of the cool Halloween items I have picked up on the cheap so far this year.
A few days back, the lady that I fast kiss to rock ballads with and myself went on a journey of Halloween proportions. It was still a tad early for any of the seasonal Halloween stores to be open just yet, but there were a few already bringing that straight grimy Halloween funk. After checking out a few places and getting ideas for what decorations we might want to nab this year, we took a walk into Goodwill where they had a surprisingly nice amount of solid decorations on display.
The first - and maybe the worst - thing that I picked up was this set of light-up hands that unfortunately do not work. As you can see from this gorgeous photograph I have taken, they are meant to appear as it they are rising from the earth, just waiting to wring someone's neck. Instead, they are holding my television for reasons none of us should ever contemplate. Regardless of whether or not they work, together they were only $1.49 for the pair, and they don't look too terrible, so stay they will. Also, the hand holding the remote is from last Halloween, but I loved it so much that it ended up staying there year round. It really comes in handy when dusting my entertainment center.
Next, I have this awesome .99¢ ghost decoration thing, which, in all honesty, I have no idea what it's actually called. I suppose I could look it up, but me sounding dumb is far more interesting a read, I think. We don't have anything in any of the kitchen windows as far as decorations go, but when I saw this fucker, I saw a future for him in the window above the sink. I remember making shit like this when I was a kid, and after picking this guy up, I kind of want to make my own Halloween whatever these things are called to decorate with.
The last two items I have to share would just so happen to be the best of the best of the bunch, and that would be both the skull and the jack-o-lantern tea light candleholders. First of all, these things are pretty great looking pieces that only make my Halloween horror collection all the doper, but to add to the dopeness of it all, they only cost .99¢ apiece! If I were to take a guess, and I will, I would say that the two of these bought at a regular store would at least cost me a five spot for each one, maybe more, so I think I got me a serious deal here.
Now, both look great and all, but to really see them is to see them in their full glory, with lit candles all up in their guts. Which you can see in this not at all dorky video I made below.
Rad, right?! Also, I want to point out the candle on the right of these two bad boys. It doesn't FALL into the dumpster category, but I must mention how awesome it is. It's made by a Cali company called McCall's Country Canning, and I found it at one of those country stores you see in the mall while shopping for boys.
The store had a handful of incredible Halloween and Autumn scents from McCall's, and each one comes in the most Halloween hard-on inducing jar holder with artwork that nearly caused me to start breakdancing on the spot. The scent that I picked up is Pumpkin Spice (which will not be lit until the 1st of October!), and let me tell you, the smell is so intense and wonderful, that I will never again bother to smell the roses. It smells like a pumpkin orgy with me right in the middle, covered in pumpkin spunk. Yumm….
Okay, this post is too long, and it's starting to get weird. Have you found any great Halloween decorations for yourself yet? If so, then please share them with me and the rest of us, whoever the rest of us are!
As I mentioned in my "Halloween is on the way, and I have a wicked boner because of it" post from the first of the month, I referred to a secret Halloween related something or other that I've been working on. Knowing that you have eyes and you can probably already see the photos down below, you more than likely have a good idea about what I've been up to, but elaborate on the details I shall.
In late August of last year, my wife was given a homegrown gourd by one of her work friends who knew of my obsession with all things Halloween and Fall. I wish I had a picture of it to share with you guys, but unfortunately, I don't. Either way, the gourd was very pumpkin like in shape and color, which I loved, and on my fireplace mantle it sat. And sat. And sat, all the way until sometime in April. Now, my knowledge of gourds is minimal at best, but I was flabbergasted by how long the thing stayed before showing even the slightest signs of rot. To me, that was a sign that this gourd was something special.
In any event, the same friend that had given my friend with benefits the gourd had told her that we could simply toss a gourd in our yard somewhere, and chances are it would grow into magic. Well, being the Fall fiend that I am, I did just that back in April, and there it sat, in perfect shape, for almost two months. I would check on it occasionally to see it still there, straight chillin', fully intact. Then suddenly, from out of nowhere, it was gone! Vanished into thin air, except there was something left behind. A little teeny tiny plant that was clearly not a weed. Within a few weeks the little plant became what I thought was a big plant, which is what you can see here in this first picture that I took on June 28th.
You can see smaller gourd plants all around it!
How fucking cute, right?! Anyway, I have done no more than water it almost everyday, and every time my wife or I looked at the thing, we would be shocked at the rate in which it's growing. In fact, it went from what I thought was a big plant into something that is almost uncontainable, as seen in the next picture, which was taken on August 1st.
THAT'S ONE MONTH!!
Remember, this was a gourd that lasted for an inordinate amount of time (I think) on my mantle, so this rapid rate of growth only points to the fact that the gourd was indeed a mutant. Not only that, but the mutant gourd shall produce other mutant gourds, making me Charles Fucking Xavier. You can't see them in this picture, but there are numerous yellow/orange flowers all over as well as a ton of twisting tendrils ready to produce some serious gourd action (or play The Ruins with my skin). And then there are the stems that are so long and thick, John Holmes would be jealous.
In any event, with a creation such as this, there has to be a name. While names such as Eddy Gourdo, Commissioner Gourdon and Gourdon Ramsay floated through my head, I quickly realized there is only one name that can capture the intense mass and burliness of such a plant, and that name is BOLO! Aptly named after Asian martial arts actor, and buffest mofo around, Bolo Yeung.
He already kind of looks like a pumpkin, no?
So there you have it, an introduction to Bolo. If things go as planned and Bolo continues to dominate my backyard, I will continue to give you all updates with photos showing his progress. I have high hopes this all will result in a post where I can share with you whatever greatness comes from this freak of nature.
On a related note, Johnny over at Freddy in Space has (beaten me to!) been sharing in the maturation of his very own home grown pumpkin patch, which he has fittingly dubbed "The Evil Pumpkin Patch," as some of the dirt from the set of The Evil Dead was used to plant it. Head over there and check out his progress if you are fiending for more decorative Halloween madness.
