I’ve been doing this Chucktober thing for seven years now – and there’s a whole lot of content as a result – so I thought it would be nice to take a trip down memory lane and revisit a post from Chucktober past. Really, that’s not all too complicated, so I won’t waste anymore time on unnecessary details outside of saying that this post originally appeared on October 27, 2010, and it’s one of my favorites. Hope you enjoy!
Great Story, Emily
I've had a really tough time figuring out what to dress up as for Halloween, so I took to the internet as my guide and found this news report focusing on the hottest costumes for 2010!! Boy, I sure hope it helps with some creative and original ideas that'll stand out amongst the masses!
First off, while I do dig the clown outfit, Emily Deem should probably consider going as a mute. Not necessarily for Halloween so much as she should just become a mute.
So the first costume is brought out, and it's the Mad Hatter from that Tim Burton movie. I just love how Foot Locker describes the costume as being comfortable because Jesus can wear his own pants with it. I was more or less thinking the costume sucked because Jesus has to wear his own pants because, you know, the costume doesn't come with any. Also, is the hair awesome, Emily? Is it really? I'll pass on this one.
Finally, when the one costume I was waiting for the entire time makes an appearance (the Alice costume, naturally), I learn that the shoes are extra?! I totally can't afford all of that, and all the other girls at school are definitely going to laugh at me if I don't wear the right shoes. They really do make the ensemble pop.
The last costume is barely even worth mentioning, as we’ve already seen the idiot store owner wearing it for the last two minutes. Oh, but now it's on a little girl, so it must be cute, right? Wrong. If they wanted to do a family theme, they should go as father and disappointed in her father daughter. That would be more fitting.
You know what, forget it… this stupid news report didn't help me find shit. And seriously, Emily, do you think getting a news camera wet is a good idea? I love how her lame flower joke fails when she misses the camera the first time, and she’s then forced to reign it back in with her wit and charm. But the best part of this whole thing is the condescending female studio anchor saying "That was fun" with the excitement of someone that just found out they will be raped by an alligator everyday for the rest of their life starting in one hour.
Unless my luck should change, it looks like I might be wearing my go to costume for the 27th year in a row…
Well, for this year that is. I hope everyone had a fun Halloween out there in the internet. I had one of the better ones I've had in quite some time. Last year was a bit of a bust, but this year I got my fill of tricks and treats to make me more than happy. There wasn't much to do in terms of haunted house and things of that nature, unfortunately, but as opposed to last year, we did make it to a pretty great haunted trail which proved to be a good time. It doesn't take much to make me happy when it comes to that kind of stuff to be honest.
Something else we missed out on last year was trick or treating, due to the fact that they did it on a day that wasn't Halloween (like seriously?). This year they thankfully did, and we were ready with candy treats for the massive amount of kids that came by our place. We must have had like 50 some odd ghouls and ghouletts come by, and there is nothing better than seeing their reaction to my special doormat that makes spooky sounds when stepped on. Shit was priceless. Even if they were trick or treating in the day time, it still was a wonderful sight to see so many kids out there doing their thing. It certainly was a highlight of my day.
This also turned out to be a year where I actually came up with a costume, something I usually put off until the last minute, in which I end up just throwing some latex on my face making myself into a quick, but always decent looking, zombie, or wearing my Michael Myers' jumpsuit with a creepy rapist mask of some sort. This year as my main squeeze and I were trying to come up with ideas while at the costume shop, we stumbled upon a wig that basically made our decision as to what we would go as this year.
Yeah, we started off as Slash and Axl but, by the end of the evening, turned into drunk and hammered, which is kind of fitting. It happens, especially when you're barhopping on a school bus filled with forty or so party animals. It led to a supremely hungover Halloween day, but it was totally worth it.
What really topped the Halloween season off was certainly the series premier of The Walking Dead. I mean, wow. Much better than I could have hoped for, and outside of some CGI blood (which I can certainly overlook in the big scheme), the show is off to a wonderful start, and I cannot believe the amazing zombie make-up (but I guess can with Nicotero involved), as well as the amount of violence that is shown. Kudos is in order for AMC and everyone involved, and I can only imagine how great this show will be as we become immersed in the lives of the characters surviving the apocalypse. A fucking plus.
With Halloween passing on by comes the end of Chucktober. It was a busy but fun month here at CNAMB and as it turns out, it was the busiest month by far the blog has ever seen as far as traffic goes, so that is very awesome that people were stopping by and checking out the crap I have to say. It'll be nice to be able to get back to something a little more normal, and I do have a handful of films that I wanted to review for this month that I simply just didn't have time to in October. Now I can finally get to them before my memory fades as to what I liked or disliked about them. I will try and hit up a few different genres, especially after being all horror all the time, I need to break things up a bit.
So yeah, this has turned out to be a solid season of the witch, and I hope the same went for all of you out there. Thanks to everyone that stopped by and made Chucktober a part of their day, and now I'm off to start putting away the decorations until next year.
The time is finally here, tonight is the night where everyone can be a little more evil than they normally are, a night where all hell is free to reign its sinful ways through the most innocent of people. This is the night where the freaks DO come out, and they come out in droves to dance and celebrate with pizzazz. This is a night when even the hideous can cover up and become attractive, a night where the beautiful can disfigure themselves and become frightening, a night where we can all become something other than what we are. It's All Hallow's Eve, or, All Hallow's Evil if you are looking to have a little fun with things, and that's what we are here to do tonight in this special Halloween edition of Freddy's (not quite) Friday Night Dance Party!
Tonight's special dance of the dead is brought to us by the 1985 made for television Halloween treat, The Midnight Hour. The song, Get Dead (which is often mistakenly referred to as I'm Dead, You're Dying), is performed by one of the film's stars, Shari Belafonte-Harper, who would also be the sassy little vixen giving us this fantastical performance we have here.
While I do own what I believe is an unopened VHS copy of The Midnight Hour (it's in one of many boxes of VHS tapes I have), I have not seen it since it played on television in the 80s. It's clearly a fun film based off of this clip, and I remember it being so, but I also recall it being pretty scary for a made for TV movie that played on ABC, particular the graveyard scene where the creatures rise from their graves. I know Anchor Bay released the movie on DVD some time after the VHS had come out in '99, but The Midnight Hour seems to be pretty rare and just as under known, or at least under mentioned. It's a shame that it isn't played on TV every year during Halloween, but I think I may have to do a little digging to see if I can find it and take another long overdue look at it.
Either way, I hope you all are having a great Halloween, and I hope the spooky filled day has spilt over into an equally spooky night with plenty of haunts to remind you why Halloween is truly the best time of the year!
Well, it's Halloween, and as I was putting together all the films that would have been featured on this special Halloween edition of The Horror Hangover, I realized that there are so many movies to be seen that I wouldn't be able to do more than simply list them. There are a shit ton of movies and Halloween related marathons of all sorts showing on TV today, which is to be expected, so I thought why don't I make this Hangover a special one and pick only a handful of films that I think that everyone should watch today, if you already haven't made movie plans, that is.
First up, AMC has really stepped it up this season with a much stronger and more diverse line-up of horror movies than they have in years. Often criticized for only showing the 4th and 5th Halloween films constantly, this Halloween AMC has a Halloween (the film series) marathon with the crowing jewel being Halloween III: Season of the Witch, which is on at noon. The reason for my pick of this underappreciated gem is because I have always loved it, even before it was kinda cool to say so, but more so because it's never on TV. Out of all the Halloween films that get major airplay at this time of year, Season of the Witch is always left behind, standing there with an empty trick or treat bag, all sad looking. How can you turn down such a sweat little maggot ridden face?
My next pick for the day comes later on when Turner Classic Movies waxes that ass with a 6:15 showing of House of Wax. You know, it would do you no wrong to just leave TCM on all day long if you ask me, but I specifically love the original remake House of Wax quite a bit and you know it will look as nice as it can on TCM. And really, what's better than the dramatics of the great Vincent Price?
Now, while I would consider sitting through Carpenter's Halloween, or Romero's Night of the Living Dead the smart way to go on Halloween, films like that are all just a little too obvious. Instead, I will make my third pick a fun one and go with the sequel to last year's mega-hit, My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen 2, showing at 6:00. To be honest, I only watched a few moments of the first film (but I still really wanna see it!), but whenever I saw the trailer for this (la)M(e)TV production, I must admit, I got kind of stoked. I'm a stickler for a bad Slasher, and for whatever odd reason, I think MSPSS2 looks like it could be a fun one.
Last but certainly not least, we head back to AMC for the television event of the decade, the 10:00 premier of The Walking Dead, with a replay at 11:30. I mean, do I really need to say why this is a pick? You were planning on watching it anyway, but how could I not list it? Why are there so many questions? Why are my pants not on?
Hey, don't go too far as tonight brings forth a brand new Halloween episode of the hottest dance show on television, Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party! I know it's not Friday, but bear with me here. Sea-ya-then, pumpkin punchers!
Matt Amsterdam is frustrated. He's 12-years-old and no one shows him the respect that he has earned over his long and fruitful lifetime. He's treated like a child, like he is a lesser to his older siblings, both of whom get whatever they desire, while Matt pretty much gets the shaft. Matt soon realizes that life just isn't fair, that the world doesn't revolve around him the way it does his older brother and sister, and Matt figures out one of life's biggest truths, reality bites the big one.
After being told he cannot sleep in the attic, Matt decides he needs to take action and break free from these chains that have held him so tightly for all these years. He's had enough of this tyranny and has been held back by "The Man" (aka Mom) for far too long now, so he goes against his communist mother's wishes and sleeps in the attic anyways. In Matt's rebellious fit against reality and all that dare defy him, he finds solace in his new and incredibly dusty home, until his reality is turned upside down.
Don't Go to Sleep comes from the show's third season, originally airing on the 20th of September, 1997. The episode is one of the scarier ones that I have seen, mostly due to a few creepy and skewed close-ups of adults taunting our good buddy Matt, who is put to test by the reality police after all his complaints about his own reality. Matt is put into difficult adult circumstances, like being a pro-hockey player during a game, a brain surgeon in the middle of a surgery and a bomb squad ace just as a bomb is about to blow.
There's even a situation where Matt is just about to get married, which seems okay ('cause it's guaranteed ass) until the bride is revealed to be an onion chomping boar of a women, which is funny, because in Calling All Creeps, one of the bullies eats onions too. Must be a Canadian thing I suppose. Either way, it is these harsh realities that are meant to show Matt that it isn't so easy being an adult, and that maybe his reality isn't so bad after all.
While Matt might be coming off as a bit selfish and bratty, I think he could use some leeway here, especially when it comes to sleeping in the attic. He is 12 and he may need a little privacy for any future discoveries he might have, and what better place than the attic? I mean, the bathroom works okay, but if someone were to spook him while in there, he may just quickly leave without washing his hands afterwards, leaving a resi-don't all over the house. Plus, there is a female tailoring mannequin up in the attic, which despite having no legs, arms, head, facial features or hair, will be more than enough inspiration for a 12-year-old boy. Trust me.
One thing I noticed almost immediately, is that Matt, who while sharing my name, also has a look that is very familiar too…
Strange coincidence? Sure, but how about I throw in this fact: I made my room in the basement starting around the same age as Matt…how's that for spooky? Though, I didn't have a mannequin, but I did have cable (thank you USA network, thank you).
I've had a really tough time figuring out what to dress up as for Halloween, so I took to the internet as my guide and found this news report focusing on the hottest costumes for 2010!! Boy, I sure hope it helps with some creative and original ideas that'll stand out amongst the masses!
First off, while I do dig the clown outfit, Emily Deem should really try and go as a mute. Not for Halloween so much as she should just be a mute, period.
So the first costume is brought out, and it's the Mad Hatter from that Tim Burton movie that came out. I just love how Foot Locker describes the costume as being comfortable because Jesus can wear his own pants with it. I was more or less thinking the costume sucked, because Jesus had to wear his own pants because the costume didn't come with them. While we're on it, is the hair awesome, Emily? Is it really? I'll pass on this one.
Finally, when the one costume I was waiting for the entire time makes an appearance (the Alice costume, naturally), I learn that the shoes are extra?! I totally can't afford all of that, and all the other girls at school are definitely going to laugh at me if I don't wear the right shoes. They really do make the ensemble pop.
The last costume is barely even worth mentioning as we have already seen the idiot store owner wearing it for the last two minutes. Oh, but now it's on a little girl, so it must be cute, right? Wrong. If they wanted to do a family theme, they should go as father and disappointed in her father daughter. That would be more fitting.
You know what, forget it, this stupid news report didn't help me find shit. And seriously, Emily, do you think getting a news camera wet is a good idea? Love how her lame flower joke fails when she misses the camera the first time, and she then has to reign it back in with her wit and charm. But the best part of this whole thing is the condescending female studio anchor saying "That was fun" with the excitement of someone that just found out they will be raped by an alligator everyday for the rest of their life starting in one hour.
Unless my luck should change, it looks like I might be wearing my go to costume for the 27th year in a row…
With only six more days till we can all transform into demons and monsters for the entire day - just to ward off all the evil spirits that would mean us nothing but harm by stealing our candy - there is a mixture of emotions that goes on when the countdown gets this close to the end. One of those being the excitement brought forth by Halloween being almost here, which is what it's all about, right? Well, there is also the whole 'it's almost over' aspect that drapes itself over me, reminding me of just how sad it is to see Halloween go away as quickly as it does every year. What it comes down to is less the day, and more the build up, the anticipation that is many a horror fan's favorite holiday.
Halloween is more about the weather that surrounds us, the crackling of the leaves beneath our feet as we walk through a haunted trail filled with teens wearing masks and taking smoke breaks in-between easily frightened groups. It's the first and second, and third and fourth and…well, you get the picture, taste of seasonal microbrew made specifically for the month that is October and the holiday that haunts it. It's the decorations, the fear that your pumpkins will get stolen and smashed like they are without feelings. It's the stores and their transformation from normal, to abnormal, when they cover an entire section with a multitude of Halloween goodies that can be stared at with starry eyes for hours on end. It's the DVD sales, the movies on TV, the Scream awards (even if they're kind of lame), the haunted house and ghost television shows on a constant loop, it's watching Roseanne's Halloween specials.
It's everything.
And it's always sad to have that slip away so quickly, but it's a celebration that supersedes the day itself, and as sad as it will be to see it all go away…I am sure as hell happy to have all the build up beforehand.
Not too much of a surprise that with Halloween only one week away (where does the time go? Seriously?!), we are graced with a hangover worthy of the Great Pumpkin, Robert Z'Dar. I know, most people don't know that Z'Dar is the Great Pumpkin, but I mean, who else could it be? Anyways, as I was saying, this is a potent hangover for sure, so if you're feeling a lot like you were raped by the Great Pumpkin with how much you drank last night, then we are here to give you a little something to take your mind off things.
Why not go ahead and get SyFy out of the way, shall we? They start the day for us with a double does of men with runny noses with a 9:00 showing of Boogeyman, followed by Boogeyman 2 at 11:00. If those two films are snot good enough for you, then SyFy follows them both up with the film adaptation of Clive Barker's The Midnight Meat Train at 1:00. Surprisingly, that film does not star Peter North.
Okay, three down and a whole lot more to go! Yeah!! Can you feel the pump yet?!?! Well, you will once we head on over to AMC, which is surprisingly not showing Halloween 4 and 5 on a continuous loop. Yet. They start us off with a handful of family pets gone wrong Stephen King stories, starting with Pet Sematary at 9:45, followed by that big ol' lug, Cujo, at 11:45.
Not to be stopped, AMC keeps us going with a 1:45 showing of 1999's House on Haunted Hill, followed by that film's sequel, Return to House on Haunted Hill, at 3:45. And because we're on a role and I don't feel like stopping while the horror train is at full speed, AMC keeps the rest of our hungover Sunday a horror filled one with Constantine at 5:30, followed by zombies on meth in 28 Days Later at 8:00, and ending AMC's day is Jeepers Creepers 2, which is showing at 10:45 PM.
That about does it for movies, but I do have a few more tricks down my pants still, so don't go running off just yet. The first one comes to us from Biography and their new documentary, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Inside Story Pt. 1, which is showing at 4:00, followed by the second part at 6:00. That's four hours, with commercials, of Freddy docu-action, so I find that to be exciting, that's for sure. Now, the description states that it has all new interviews and all that jazz, but it is odd that there is yet another beefy Nightmare doc in such a short amount of time. So anyone with some info, please, share with the rest of the class.
And last, but certainly not least, The Travel Channel is showing Ghost Adventures from 9:00AM to 11:00PM!! WHAT?!?! There's no reason that you should not at least make some time in your day to spend a few moments with Zac Bagans, his bod and the other guys that no one care about.
That does it for me, kiddies…enjoy your hangover as best you can.
Man, am I feeling really down tonight…all the kids at school are nothing but yuppie jerk offs, and because of that dumb jock, Tim Hainy, I got chocolate milk all over my best maroon and white baseball tee. To make things worse, thanks to those idiot football losers, half the girls in the school almost saw my skin-flute and my full - and incredibly white - naked ass today. But the cherry on top of this shit sundae has got to be the greatest rock sta…no, scratch that, the greatest musician of all time, as well as my idol and object of affection, Sammi Curr, died in a fire today. Man, this sucks sooo bad! Sammi was the only person that understood me. He was the only one that could make all of this better.
There is one good thing that came out of today's many un-radical events, and thanks to my buddy, DJ Nuke, I now have in my possession the only existing copy of Sammi Curr's last recording. If anything can lift me out of this funk, it's the sounds of Sammi's voice. He understands where I'm coming from, he knows who I really am deep inside, and together, we can take down all of those stupid jocks. It's just you and me, Sammi, in my bedroom, all alone, and together we will rock this party all night long!! It's like you always said, Sammi…rock's chosen warriors will rule the apocalypse, so let's rock.
Trick or Treat is the title track for the 1986 horror-METAL!! classic (well, maybe not classic…), Trick or Treat. The entire soundtrack was performed by British heavy metal band, Fastway, who would later release the Trick or Treat OST as their fourth studio album. The music is decent for what it is, I mean, it's certainly dated, but it does capture a time in my life that I will always look back on fondly.
Trick or Treat is a shit fart of a film, but it's super fun and the level of entertainment that is reached with how bad it can be at times is what makes the movie a rewarding watch. However, I do enjoy Trick or Treat a little more than I should for how it does really bring me back to a time of being a rebellious youth who was constantly listening to Heavy METAL!! in my badass basement bedroom covered in Megadeth and Anthrax posters. This was a time when I would sit through 3 hours of The Ball waiting for a decent video. A time when I would pretend my GI Joe Cobra Raven was a guitar, a guitar I rocked like a motha fucka!!! I seriously did. Nevertheless, my love for METAL!! never resulted in me staring longingly at any male lead singer of any band. Well, maybe Lemmy, but he's like just so dreamy, how could I not?
Taken from the 50th book in the series, Calling All Creeps aired on February 15th, 1997 in the show’s second season. This terrifying time around, the episode's focus is on Ricky Beamer, a stereotypically dorky kid that sees a chance to get revenge on his arch nemesis, Tasha (don't call me John) McClain. You see, Tasha had Ricky kicked off the school newspaper, claiming he's a creep, a nickname that would begin to stick with the rest of Ricky's classmates. This is more than enough to push creep…err, I mean Ricky over the edge and into a world where his mind is plagued by chaotic vengeance. There are plenty of great ways to ruin someone's life after they have done you wrong. Putting a flaming bag of poop on their front porch, cutting their brake line, drowning their dog, killing their family, but Ricky, oh that Ricky, he goes one-step further. He sneaks into the school after hours and adds a special message to the upcoming edition of the school's paper, a message 'calling all creeps' to give Miss Tasha McLain a phone call after midnight. However, this disturbing act backfires, and the phone number in the message is switched to Ricky's, leaving him with numerous late night phone calls from random creeps.
It's really tough to follow-up the masterwork known as The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, and while Calling All Creeps is kind of terrible in comparison, it is entertaining in the silliest of ways. The best way to describe this episode is this one is more along the lines of a cheap B-Movie. If you can appreciate a bad film, one that is so corny and filled with hysterical dialogue, amazingly whacky looking creatures and a goofy pod-people inspired premise using cookies, then Calling All Creeps is worth the twenty minutes of time it wastes.
Where this episode shines the strongest in the "I cannot believe I'm watching this, but I'm so glad I am" department, are some of the characters and the dialogue that comes along with them. While pretty much everyone in the school picks on Ricky, there are three main bullies - apart from Tasha McLain - that give that poor creep the hardest of times. It just so turns out that these three bullies (one of them played by Matthew Lemche, brother of Kris, who stared in The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight!) actually moonlight as real creeps, but their day job is clearly one that consists of delivering incredible dialogue and fierce punishment to turds like Ricky, and all of it in under thirty minutes. Battle cries are sung, such as "Creeps rule! Creeps WILL rule!!" and "Humans are the past, creeps are the future!" Preach on, brother, preach on!
Still, the best part with the bullies comes early on when one of them instructs the onion chomping other one to - "breath on him, Wart!" which almost knocks poor Ricky unconscious. I mean, the guy's name is Wart, so that has got to be some serious stank coming from his onion hole. To top things off, they really push the boundaries of decency and force Ricky to sing a song. Oh, but not just any song, mind you, this is a tune that is so terrible, that it can do no less than ruin lives. That song is, Mary Had A Little Lamb. Are you starting to see where this show is going yet?
Tasha McLain isn't much better, but it isn't her dialogue that is impressive so much as it's the pure fact that she has the balls to make fun of anyone when she's looking like she just ate a handful of rickets and screws. She truly brings the pain with her looks, that's for sure. With all that said, there is an important lesson to be learned with this episode, but I unfortunately missed it, so I won't be playing the sage for anyone tonight. The only higher thought I have now is…
"What's in store for me in the next episode of Goosebumps?"
and
"How do I end this review now without anyone noticing?"
*Looks away and pretends to see another review over yonder…walks off awkwardly but with style*
1989's Intruder is a somewhat under-known Slasher film that indirectly had a major impact on horror cinema (and the genre in general) at the time it was released. To ensure an R rating, Intruder was unleashed on home video with a whopping five minutes of footage cut from the film, something of which was done without director Scott Spiegel's knowledge. All of the footage removed from the film consisted of incredibly graphic gore effects done by KNB, essentially leaving Intruder a shell of a film; a Slasher with no slash, if you will. This was an era when Horror VS the MPAA was a major battle, and censorship of the genre in general was at its worst.
Intruder would make another censorship splash with its gory set pieces, but this time in a much different way and certainly in a fashion that would be much bigger than the film ever was. [The real] Goerzone magazine came out with their March issue (issue number 6, to be exact), and what would follow would greatly hinder the presence that both Gorezone and parent magazine, Fangoria, would have on store shelves. Issue 6 featured a publicity shot from Intruder; a shot that came from the film's best and goriest death scene: a man's face cut in half with a meat cutter. To say it is one of the raddest cover's of a genre magazine ever is an understatement, but parents and ultraconservative do-gooders certainly didn't feel the same way when they saw this face looking them in the face at convenience stores:
Numerous complaints quickly resulted in Gorezone being banned from the shelves of all Circle K stores, and with the chain being the second biggest convenience store in the country at the time, this meant a circulation drop of several thousand copies for the magazine. Gorezone editor Tony Timpone was told by the publisher that the future covers needed to be less violent, and if they were to be violent, they should involve monsters and creatures, not humans. It's like the old adage that when a horror film's blood is green or black you can get away with murder, as opposed to if it were actually red. We all know that red blood equals real, and it's the realism that frightens and harms our children, turning them into the future serial killers of America. Thankfully censorship and fear mongering keeps all of this from coming to fruition.
At the time this was all happening, I was the spry age of twelve and read about all the controversy through the pages of Goerzone and Fango. I was young, and I yearned for the gruesome stuff, as at that ripe age during that period in horror, it was all about the gore. I had to see Intruder, and I cannot recall exactly how long it was before I finally did see it (though it wasn't too long afterwards), but even if the film was hacked to bits, I still thought it would be worth the time and there would have to be some trace of gore in the film. Well, as it turned out, there was hardly a gut to be seen, and when I did watch the movie, I was gravely disappointed in it.
At the time I didn't notice the cheesiness of most films, so that wasn't a factor, but I did find it to be somewhat boring, and the lack of great kills are exactly what would hurt this film for me. All that lead up only to have nothing more than a bad edit happen isn't any way to see any film. Sometime after seeing the edited version, I somehow came across the directors cut, but to be totally honest, I have no idea how that happened as coming across shit at a pretty young age in the tape trading days wasn't all too easy. Regardless, I watched the full Monty version of Intruder, and I certainly enjoyed it so much more than when I saw it sans the awesome death scenes. The film suddenly lived up to what was promised and more, and it was those five minutes of graphic slashing and slaying that made the film one that is worth a spot on any Slasher fan's list of must sees.
I will always have a strong sense of nostalgia for Intruder with what it represented for horror at the time. It certainly had a slight influence on the rebel that I would grow to become as the years went on. The censorship of Intruder and that specific issue of Gorezone are greatly reflective of that time period, and while it seems like these aren't issues that we need to worry about as much nowadays, something like what happened with Hatchet 2 comes along and reminds us that we will never get what we want when it comes to entertainment. There will always be someone there trying to tell us what we should and shouldn't watch, and it's our job to tell them to go fuck themselves and do it anyways.
Adam Green and co. have just unleashed the 12th annual ArieScope Halloween short film, Honor Bowl, staring Mr. Freeze himself, Adam Green, Wrong Turn 2 director, Joe Lynch and a special surprise guest for all you ghoulies out there to enjoy.
Our first Goosebumps at 33 review comes in the form of The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, which aired on November 9th, 1996 during the show's second season. The story focuses of Mark and Jodie, a brother and sister who are spending the summer at their grandparents farm. Something that every kid must dream about…spending time with old people on a farm with no wifi or cable. At least the grandparents are nice and sweet, not bitter, senile and wearing a diaper filled with feces. You know, like our grandparents are.
Almost immediately, there is a clue that something is off when the not-all-there farm hand, Stanley, warns the kids about their plans to catch frogs later on in the day. In fact, Stanley's warning is a fierce one as he tells the kids: "I like frogs. You shouldn't catch them…cause if you do, the scarecrow just might end up catching you!" Oh yeah, Stanley? Great story, guy. It isn't just the warning that Stanley so rudely spewed out that rubs the young visitors as strange, but grandma and grandpa are a little off too, and I don't think it's because they aren't getting enough fiber. For breakfast, instead of grandma's famous pancakes (famous where? On the farm?), she serves up a bowl of boring old corn flakes. Barfola. To make things worse, later on in the evening the kids get to have some of grandma's yummy apple pie! YAY! Unfortunately for these selfish brats, grandma has decided to go with cherry pie this time around. I actually don't blame them for being disappointed. Cherry pie sucks. You know what's funny about this whole cherry pie and corn flake situation, though? Well, it just so happens that Stanley (you know, the one that likes frogs) loves cherry pie AND corn flakes. He also likes making threats about scarecrows, so with there being an inordinate amount of scarecrows in the corn field and the episode being titled The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, I think Jodie and Mark might be in for some serious trouble. And I'm not talking about having to change grandma's colostomy bag type of trouble either. That would be way worse.
In the end, The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight is an episode of Goosebumps, meaning, it's very much geared towards children of a very young age. Still, after watching this first episode, I do not take any issue with that as it delivers the starter horror in a serious enough way (for the age), showing a respect for the genre by keeping it simple, scary and most importantly, fun. The acting is all decent enough for the type of show it is and there was actually a familiar face to be found with a youthful Kris Lemche, who is probably best known (or, only known) as the Goth kid, Ian McKinley, in Final Destination 3.
I had a good time with this episode - which has a fantastic and totally satisfying ending, I might add - and it certainly gives me promise that I will not be spending this Chucktober with the lights off at nighttime.
While it can often instantly tap into certain fears that many people already harbor, having a film set in a singular location is like walking a tightrope past the initial setup. Does a film set in, say, a coffin, have enough meat to it to keep the audience interested in the story being told for a feature length runtime? There are plenty of situational films such as this, horror or not, and many of them can bring out an automatic fear with the premise and setting alone, whether it's people being trapped in the middle of the ocean with no rescue in sight, or, being stuck in a tightly confined elevator that has lost all power. If you're claustrophobic, have a fear of water (or in my case, sharks), the filmmaker's battle is already half won, but to win the war with the moviegoer, the situation must stay captivating, the characters plight realistic and felt by the viewer, and the film needs the right tempo from start to finish.
Adam Green's Frozen has just the setting that automatically induces anxiety for many people, with a group of three friends - Parker, her boyfriend Dan and his best friend Lynch (Emma Bell, Kevin Zegers and Shawn Ashmore…wait, Iceman?!) - finding themselves accidentally trapped on a chairlift at Mount Holliston after everyone has gone home for the night. Trapped in the frigid Massachusetts winter with no place to go but down, 50ft to the snow covered ground. There are very few things that are more uncomfortable than being cold, let alone freezing cold and not having the means to do anything about it but to try and deal with it the best you mentally can. Mixing the fear of heights, the frostbite causing winter chill, and the chances that there is no rescue in sight, Frozen has the perfect recipe for a terrible situation for its characters to be in. But does the film do what is necessary to make it past the premise?
The answer is a resounding yes, and even if the situation can be picked apart and looked at as less than plausible by folks that are looking just to do so, this is a movie that makes the best use of the bad situation in which the characters are faced. The setting alone is very intimidating in how it's brought to life, with the uneasy creaking metal of the ski lift as it dangles so high above the ground, surrounded by intense winds and an everlasting world of emptiness. An emptiness that seems so confining, while being so vast as they are trapped on such a small ski lift that is located in such a huge - yet vacant - surrounding. As they slowly realize how dire a situation they are in, the more extreme their fear becomes, knowing there are very few options out of this steel trap high above the frigid earth below.
Withthe realization that the mountain will be closed until the following Friday - and it's only Sunday - some sort of action has to be taken. The only other option is to wait out the week, which in the middle of a New England winter, 50ft in the air with no food or water, is not an option in the least. Usually a big problem with a movie set in one place like Frozen is, it can be difficult to fill in 90 some odd minutes of time without having to stretch things out in certain areas. Frozen has a brisk pace, and there is hardly a dull moment as events unfold in a timely manner, which shows just how much can be done with such a seemingly one-note situation if things are put together properly.
Okay, so moving forward I'm afraid I am going to have to get into wicked*SPOLIER*territory, so if you have not yet seen Frozen, please do not read any further. I loved it, so go and check it out (it's ten bucks at Wal-Fart), then come back and finish. I'll be here, arms open. Maybe thighs too, if you're lucky.
Frozen works past the usual horror fair by giving the viewer some incredible reveals. One simple, but nicely pulled off moment is when Parker awakens - and in her groggy state - she looks down to her bare hand that is tightly gripping the metal safety bar on the ski lift. It's very simplistic, but knowing how awful it is for her to have her hand frozen stuck only makes the overall situation that much more devastating to watch. Another major moment is when Dan – who made the bold leap to the ground, breaking both of his legs in the process - is confronted by a wolf, which is quickly frightened away by a snowboard being thrown down by one of the other characters from up above. As soon as that wolf is out of sight, it lets off this howl, a frightening howl that you know is only meant for one thing…to call in the rest of his pack for a quick bite to eat.
The moment before the viewer knows that there is anything wrong and that Dan is going to be attacked, you see an odd reaction from Lynch, who - at that moment - was trying to get to another chair by pulling himself across the razor sharp ski lift cable. As Lynch crosses, he suddenly looks down and quickly moves back to the chair as fast as he can, with no indication as to why or what is happening down below. It isn't revealed until Dan himself looks up to see a wolf right in his face, with the rest of the pack now surrounding him, ready to feast on the wounded prey. The scene is only made better by how realistic it is, in fact, the wolf scenes in general are shot so perfectly that not once - even for a second - did it appear that the wolves were not right there, enjoying themselves a midnight human snack. It's very impressive, and the restraint Green shows with the scene makes it all the more impactful.
Outside of the horror of being trapped on a ski lift and all the terrible things that come along with it, the character's reactions to the situation(s) at certain points are handled quite well. One of the key moments in Frozen that won me over was when Parker starts freaking out about what is happening to them. But instead of focusing on her own well being and safety, she talks about how her new puppy will be home all alone, with no one to take care of it. She claims that the puppy doesn't know that Parker is trapped on a ski lift and will die thinking it's been abandoned. She then goes on to simply say that she misses her mom and dad as she knows she will more than likely never see them again.
People faced with any sort of life threatening situation will - at a certain point - begin to think less about themselves and start to focus their fear on how their impending death will affect others. Namely, the people in their life that they care about most. Instead of crying about not wanting to die, appreciation for the important things in life come bubbling to the surface, and there's a sort of selfless realization that life isn't the only thing that can be lost in one's own passing. This type of emotional honesty is rarely seen in horror films, and to have something so true to human reaction happen in Frozen was a nice and very much appreciated surprise for me.
It is all of these little things that come together and really make a horror movie great beyond its hook. Realistic emotions, dimensional characters that aren't completely selfish, a film that is simply well made technically, and a level of complexity in how many events can come up in a situation that is simply, simple. The attention to making this film as real as possible as far as feeling as if you are up there on that ski lift with the characters is so important, and Green has done so with great horror tactics and characters that aren't there to simply look nice.
In the future, Frozen will be Final Girl's Film Club Pick, so if you just read this, head over HERE to read some more thoughts on this fine film! Do it, I say!
