Stake Land: Putting Teeth Back Into the Vampire Genre

"It's JUST like Zombieland but it's not funny, and instead of zombies it's vampires that are causing everyone so much grief!"

Barf.

I don't know how many fucking times I read that description whenever reading a review for Jim Mickle's latest film, Stake Land. The two films (Zombieland and Stake Land) have NEVER had ANYTHING to do with one another, and I believe that should have been obvious (especially to horror fans) right from the film's first teaser trailer that was released before Zombieland had even come out. Sure, there are some similarities with the post apocalyptic setting, something that was never done in any other film outside of Zombieland. The Last Man on Earth, Omega Man, Phantasm II, The Road Warrior, 28 Days/Weeks Later, Night of the Comet, Carriers, etc. None of those films were set in a time when the world was riddled with either zombies, vampires, infected, crazy people or even some concoction of the four. Is the name Stake Land is a bad choice? Well, it's not a great movie title by any stretch, but the film was initially conceived around the same time as Zombieland, so the comparisons are simply ridiculous if you ask me, especially when every Tom, Dick and Harry felt the need to make the exact same comparison when reviewing the film. 

Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. Shit has been bothering me for months. Let me reign things back in here and get back on track now that I've probably offended someone I like...

Directed and co-written by Jim Mickle - who made a nice little splash with his solid, original take on the zombie film with 2006's Mulberry Street – Stake Land is set sometime after the world had become infected by a deadly virus. But this isn't your typical airborne type of contagion; instead, the deadly plague comes in the form of vampires. Without any back-story to how it all started, the vampires have quite easily taken over the planet, leaving few survivors behind and their victims to come back as their allies.  

Now, these vampires aren't the type of chiseled abs adorned hotties that make out with chicks and style their hair (You know, like me). Nope, these are vicious, man-eating vampires filled with aggression and a certain level of survival smarts and tactics. The idea of a plague by vampirism is a smart choice, as most of us are already aware of how vampires work and how they can turn people into fellow vampires. Therefore, there is no need to explain how the disease has spread; it's a part of the monsters mythos. Though, there are some things that separate the film from the by the book characteristics of vampires, one of them being that they seem to either have evolved or there are at least a few differing breeds of them with some being more powerful than others.  

Stake Land follows a man simply known as Mister (co-writer, Nick Damici) and a teenager named Martin (Connor Paolo) who Mister befriends after saving his life from a vampire attack that left Martin's entire family dead.  Mister – who hates being referred to as Mr. Mister – is what you could call a badass motherfucker who is skilled in the ways of vampire slaying. He and Martin are traveling to Canada (which has been dubbed New Eden) which is supposedly a refuge free of vampires and filled with at least a small sense of normalcy.  

Not at all the most original of ideas in anyway. Regardless, I will always attest to the fact that originality is not an issue if a film can bring something to the idea. There is a reason why classic stories are classic stories. In the hands of the right filmmaker, a classic story can always be told well. That would most certainly be the case with Stake Land. 

Despite the lack of background - which is actually appreciated by myself - Stake Land is a cinematically poignant and deep film that resonates in its situation. Despite the vampiric elements, the circumstances feel real as do the characters. I found myself drawn to the people of Stake Land, as they are somewhat relatable as is the way in which they are dealing with their plight. The characters are who they are and they aren't filled with overly dramatic traits that would mean to alienate the audience or even themselves. I specifically enjoyed the subtle father son relationship between Mister and Martin that is vastly more enduring and somber than any single moment found in the highly overrated and often compared to, The Road. The emotional impact is better conveyed because it's not being forced upon the viewer; it happens naturally. 

Stake Land is filled with very strong performances by all those involved, but the stand out in the film is certainly Nick Damici, who also stared in and co-wrote Mickle's Mulberry Street. What I love about Damici is the fact that he is a real person, a man's man, someone that you would find littering tough guy cinema of the '70s. He's a rarity in these cinematic times, and to see someone like him in a film such as Stake Land is simply awesome. I also must give credit to his character of Mister. He is a true tough guy, but he breaks the mold and never acts so tough that his exterior cannot be broken. Without hesitation, he is compassionate, sympathetic to others and is not at all selfish despite the fact that it could result in his own undoing. He isn't simply trying to selfishly survive, he is trying to fight back the evil that surrounds him.

Mickle has constructed a film that is technically nice to look at on what is supposedly a teeny-tiny budget ($625,000 from what I have read). Stake Land isn't some slick, blue hued vampire film that is overly stylized and hyperkinetic, nor is it a sepia toned apocalypse movie littered with slo-mo shots. It's a straightforward and nicely crafted piece of cinema, filled with wide landscape shots that convey the rural, vast and almost completely devoid of life world that Stake Land is set in. Between the character of Mister and the way in which Stake Land is filmed, it has almost has a Western sensibility to it.   

In what is yet another case of the 'unoriginals', the whole 'people are so much worse than the monsters' commentary is in full effect here in Stake Land. It does work for the most part, but it is a tad over done and also feeds into a portion of the film that might be a point where it loses its footing a little. However, where the film does falter is minute and not nearly enough to affect my thoughts on the film as a whole. Which to me is a near perfectly made and very subdued modern horror/vampire film. There was a time when I was young and vampire films and the creatures themselves were some of my favorite things about horror. Therefore, I am incredibly ecstatic to have a film such as Stake Land come out. Stake Land shows us that the vampire can still be used in a way that is interesting, and proves yet again that the genre is alive and well. We just have to look outside the cinema to find it. 

CNAMB Presents: Best Films of 2009

The reason why I say Best films is, I just couldn't do it top ten style...it made things so much more difficult and by the time I even post this thing, the lower half of this list is going to change a ton of times I'm sure. Soooo, I went ahead and made a list of my top thirteen favorites films of the year, which basically is a top ten, with the honorable mentions tacked on to keep them from feeling left out. They are very sensitive around the holidays, ya know. Thirteen just seems cooler too, it's all evil and scurry and shit. Also, notice I said my top thirteen favorites, not the actual best films of 2009. They are the best films of 2009, to me and in all honesty, number one is very hard to argue with.

13. Orphan




















Orphan was one that almost got away from me in theaters, but I made it and I'm glad I did, because I love killer kid movies and I thought this one was a blast. There was a certain sense of meanness to this film, a meanness that you do not often find in current theatrical horror, let alone ones with kids playing a big part. Isabelle Fuhrman brought to life a very worthy child monster to add to the killer kid klub with the character of Esther and even outside of her solid performance, fellow youngster Aryana Engineer was amazing as the little deaf girl, Max. Two great performances from two kids is no easy feat and only a portion of what puts Orphan at the 13 spot.

12. Zombieland




















Zombieland was funnier than most comedies made these days and I cannot remember the last time I laughed so damned hard in the theater. The Zombie action was light, but when it was there, it was nothing short of fun, but this film really excelled in the character department with some nicely thought out arcs for some very stubborn characters. Best thing about this film though, Woody Harrelson, with the second best being the super dope cameo by...you know who. I wrote a review, read more there if you'd like.

Zombieland review

11. Paranormal Activity




















While not everyone was frightened by Paranormal Activity, its simplistic handheld style of filmmaking worked for me and I would personally say that it's one of the scariest films of the year. The decade? No, but maybe the year. Very well written and honest characters was the strength of Paranormal Activity for me and Peli was able to tap into a very realistic typical characterization of men and women, which is something that is not seen too often in horror films. And of course the little handheld that could aspect captured my heart in many ways as I had wanted to see the film for two years, only to almost have it slip away into remake oblivion - so to have it sweep the nation as it did, really fluffs my pecker.

Review for Paranormal Activity

10. The Children




















What's this? Another killer kid's film on a best of the year list? WHAAAT?! It's true. The Children is one I had just very recently watched as a couple of fellow bloggers had some great things to say about this British killer kid's film. There is a lot less story with The Children then there was with Orphan, but there is also no real need for an in depth story with this one either. The character development is very natural and not at all forced and the movie is perfectly paced and executed by solid acting from everyone involved. The Children is well made and some of the more tension based scenes are just that, tense and done with some amazing editing that really creates a true feeling of chaos for the viewer. If you're going to see only one killer kid's film this year, don't, see two and make The Children one of them.

9. Drag Me to Hell




















Seeing horror god Sam Raimi come back to his roots, back to what made him who he is today, back to his brand of wacky horror, is one of the most unexpected and most welcome things this year for me as a horror fan. Showing he can still do what we all love him for, Raimi's Drag Me to Hell was an exercise in outrageous humor filled horror, complete with more laughs and what the fuck moments than I would ever expect from a studio released horror movie. Not the most original of stories, Drag Me to Hell excelled in excellent filmmaking and gorgeous visuals, along with perfectly placed comedy and physical abuse to the very likable main character.

Review of Drag Me to Hell

8. Bronson




















Nicolas Winding Refn's Bronson is the wild card in this bunch. A film that I wasn't sure how I felt about as I watched it, but by the end, I knew I had seen something pretty special. Still, it sits in the back of my mind and the more I think about it, the more I love it, in all its pretentious glory. Tom Hardy puts on an Oscar worthy performance as Britain's most dangerous criminal, Charles Bronson and as Hardy almost dances though each and every amazingly created scene, you cannot help but laugh, cringe or be totally intimidated by whatever mood seems to fit him at any given moment.

Review of Bronson

7. District 9




















As with The Children, District 9 is one I got too late as I have been trying to cram in as many movies as I possibly can in the little time left in the year. What District 9 is and what it looked like via advertisements, are two very different things and the best way to describe it is Cronnenberg's The Fly, meets Starship Troopers. Two films I love and while I loved D9, I haven't fully wrapped my head around this one yet and I anticipate multiple viewings of the film where I will find even greater enjoyment from it. District 9 has possibly the most anti of anti-heroes put to screen, to go along with one of the most unassuming leads to be in a very successful Sci Fi action film.

6. Watchmen




















Not perfect and not nearly as good as the source material, but damn it, Watchmen was just so tremendous at so many times that it is impossible for me not to be completely smitten by it. While I have yet to see the longer directors cut, the film is a little messy, but messy can bring about brilliance and Watchmen was a film that dared to get in unsuspecting, normal peoples faces with heavy sex scenes, male nudity (and not in a comedic way either), violence, and flat out bleakness...much like what was done with the original comic series. Watchmen also sports one of the best opening credit sequences I have ever seen. It gives me fucking goose bumps.

5. The Good, The Bad, The Weird




















Hurm...This one has not seen an official release in the U.S. as of this time (but it should have) and I do not count festival dates as release dates for films, but this is my list and I will put this phenomenal homage to the Spaghetti Western on my list if I want! The Good, The Bad, The Weird is directed by Ji-woon Kim, one of the best filmmakers working out of Korea (or period if you ask me) and has an all star cast of some of the finest Korean actors around. GBW is the highest budgeted Korean film of all time, but at a measly $17 million dollars, it isn't much when compared to the average Hollywood film. Isn't much in terms of budget, but in terms of amazingly executed action set pieces you would think this thing costs $200 million. Humor, fabulous action, and one of the best Westerns made in years, GBW did what few can, made an homage that can totally stand on its own two feet with the best of the genre of influence. Hollywood should take note.

4. Ink




















Speaking of small budgets, no other film, not even Paranormal Activity, did more with so little than Ink. A film with more original ideas than most films forty times its budget, Ink was nothing short of incredible, but what made it fantastic for myself, was its ability to draw something out of me emotionally. This will be a film that when I revisit, I will definitely get a small lump in my throat every time and I am not one who can easily be touched in that way. It is not a film that pulled at my heartstrings in a sad or loving way, but it did something...it had purpose, meaning, and heart. Again, Hollywood should take note.

Review of Ink

3. Pontypool




















What can I say, Pontypool was one of the best horror films of the year, and one that showed what can be done with simplicity and well constructed characters, played superbly by great actors. One of the best uses of one secluded location since The Thing and the first 45 minutes just sucks you right in and makes you want to know what is happening outside of the radio station setting, just like what the characters are going through. Less is more is the theory and that is one I subscribe to if it is fitting for a film and is well executed, in the case of Pontypool, less is more than I can ask for.

Review of Pontypool

2. Martyrs




















Pascal Laugier created one of the most challenging and controversial films of the year and possibly even the decade. Martyrs is a film that split horror fans right down the middle, with some saying they loved the opening, but were turned off by the depravity of the films final 30 minutes. Others, including myself, found a film that was able to take scenes of brutal violence and outright torture of the senses and make it all mean something more than pain just for the sake of showing it. Amazingly crafted, Martyrs is a film that makes you think, a film that makes you wince, a film that shows you just how desperate some people are to find a meaning in their lives. Morjana Alaoui puts forth a performance as good, if not better than any other actor this year in a film and it's a shame that she will go completely unnoticed.

And finally, my favorite film of 2009 is...

1. Ingluorious Basterds!














Speaking of amazing performances, Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds is without a doubt the best movie of the year. One of the most tension-filled films I have seen in quite some time and Nazi's have never been so frightening and their aesthetic never so beautifully captured on screen. And the performances, oh the performances! Christoph Waltz brought one of the most oddly charming and polite, yet very intimidating villains to life with his character of Hans Landa. To be fair, almost the entire cast, outside of that dick face Mike Myers, is excellent and too many to name. Each set piece is gorgeously filmed with some of the nicest use of color to portray the character segments and the ending is one of the most satisfying endings to a film ever. I don't even know what else to say about this one, except it is by far my favorite of the year and one of Tarantino's finest achievements.

Review of Inglourious Basterds

Whoomp! There it is...my list of the 13 best films of the year according to me. I already plan on doing a follow up list in a few months since there are a handful of films I have yet to see and ones that have the promise to make such a list. So there may be some shuffling and spot drops, but that just depends on the quality of movies I watch I guess. It's really difficult to put a list like this together and decide what is better than what and my opinion can change at the drop of a hat. I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on my list, what makes the cut for you and what doesn't? If you have a blog and list of your own, please feel free to share it, so I can mock you for excluding Obsessed. Here's looking forward to 2010 and the cinema it brings! Yip-pah!

Zombieland

For the sake of not spoiling anything about Ruben Fleischer's Zombieland for anyone that has not yet seen the film, ye be very warned, spoilers are infesting this review. I would hate for someone to even accidentally have something ruined for them just by glazing over these here words...okay, snookums?

I am not inventing the wheel when bringing up the fact that there are disturbing amounts of zombie films that have been released since the zombie "new wave" began earlier in the decade. Many can complain about the over abundance, and I don't blame them at all, but with so many movies being made in one genre...you're bound to have a couple of gems here and there. For as many cruddy zombie films that come out as opposed to how many good ones - it's a very unbalanced ratio, to say the least. Nevertheless, it is a ratio I can accept when amidst all the muck comes films trudging through like 28 Days/Weeks Later, Dawn of the Dead '04, [REC], Shaun of the Dead, and now the newest kid on the undead chopping block, Zombieland.

When I first saw the trailers for Zombieland, I have to admit, I was not all that into it...only appeal for me was Woody Harleson and that's about it. I looked at it as another zombie movie that is going the comedic route, but what are the chances that another zombie comedy is gonna strike that Shaun of the Dead gold? Not very good. Shaun of the Dead is one of the best horror comedies, probably since American Werewolf even - so to be even in the same ballpark, let alone the same city would be a pretty difficult task to achieve. You know what, Zombieland is not only in the same ballpark, it's at bat with runners on the corners, no outs, and a 3-0 count.

Zombieland totally hits it outta the park - It was an absolute blast of a film and there were so many things to enjoy about this movie as a whole. Direction wise and technically, Zombieland is very apt and impressive at times. One of the things that had me skeptical in the trailers was the slo-mo stuff that looked like a practice that I have seen one too many times before. That technique is only used in the films opening credit sequence however, and it's used perfectly. To boot, it's an opening credit sequence that flat out rocked as Metallica's For Whom The Bell Tolls blares during a great zombie carnage montage. It instantly put me in the right mind set to watch Zombieland. I also really liked some of the transitions from scene to scene - very impressive and as with Zombieland in general, a lot of fun.

Zombieland is basic in premise, following only a handful of characters, mainly Jesse Eisenberg who plays Columbus. He also acts as the movies narrator and the concept is sort of inspired by Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide, with Columbus having his own set of rules that he lives by, rules that have kept him alive through this zombie holocaust that has unfolded around him. These rules also serve as the film's driving force for the first act and works in what I would consider a brilliant way to introduce the viewer to this alternate zombie world in a creative and indirect way. I also loved how these rules would pop-up on screen when the actual rule was in use, and thankfully, it is not hokey, nor is it overused.

As Columbus makes his way to his hometown of, Columbus Ohio, he runs into Tallahassee, played by Woody Harrelson. As I mentioned, the only real thing that drew me in about Zombieland originally was Woody Harrelson. I am a huge fan of his work, as most should be, and he is fantastic in this movie. Harrelson as Tallahassee is what drives this film; he takes what is a very good movie and makes it great! He has such perfect comedic timing and his casting as a tough guy with a chip of zombie flesh on his shoulder is pitch perfect. The dialogue is great overall, but some of the Tallahassee stuff was tailor made for Woody, who spits out great one-liners and goes on gut busting tirades about the importance of having a Twinkie sooner than later.

Columbus and Tallahassee team up and go about their ways, till they run into tough as nails, Wichita (Emma Stone) and her tough as thumbtacks, 12 year old sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Both are a nice addition to the group as they bring a bit of opposition to the boys with the two sisters only wanting to lookout for one another and keep others safely at bay. For Columbus, a self admitted loner who had never even played tonsil hockey with a chick, he is salivating at any opportunity to meet a girl that he can fall for in such a desolate and empty world. It's a rocky relationship between the boys and girls, but that is to be expected when trying to survive the post Apocalypse.

Throughout Zombieland, I laughed out load so many times during this film and Tallahassee was a big reason, another was the surprise special guest, Bill "fucking" Murray! I knew there was some special appearance to be had, and I am sooo thankful that I did not "accidentally" find out whom before seeing Zombieland. The second I realized that the group of survivors are at Murray's house, I got insanely excited! Bill Murray is everything that Tallahassee says he is and to have him show up in Zombieland really added yet another layer fun to this movie. And I cannot express how funny it is when Wichita laughs at Bill Murray's last breath just as he is dying (because everything he does is funny), then apologizes and says, it's so sad! Classic.

A funny Bill Murray is not a stretch and neither is Harrelson for that matter, but it's Jesse Eisenberg that drives the movie and even with a strong performance from the whole cast, if he isn't great, then it would really hurt the film. Fortunately, his is fantastic and while many would be right in him doing a very Michael Cera centric portrayal, he does so very well with a top-notch sense of comedic skill, physically and verbally. He has some hysterical moments and teamed up with Harrelson, the two have great chemistry together and are the perfect "opposites attract" duo.

Even as a zombie comedy, there is of course a message hidden in Zombieland and it is actually handled well. Letting go of your past and not letting nostalgia drive your life, when you are living your life right this very second. All of the characters have a sort of distance from one another, in fear of becoming too attached. Everyone they have been attached to has been killed by, or become, the undead. So why bother going through the pain of getting to know someone in a world that has pretty much ended, a world where they can essentially die at any time. No one uses their name throughout the entire film; save for Bill Murray who is playing himself, but even during a Columbus' flashback, his neighbor is refereed to as 406 in reference to her apartment number. Going nameless actually makes for an endearing emotional scene with Tallahassee, and a sweet ending where Wichita tells Columbus her real name...this was a nice touch seeing the two toughest members of the group let their guard down for once.

Only complaint someone could have would be during the second act, where there isn't much in terms of zombie action. However, the character development was solid and kept me interested in their individual stories. Plus there is so much great humor that you don't even notice the lack of undead presence. Even with the slower paced midsection of Zombieland, there is plenty of walking (or running) dead action in the beginning and especially at the end of the film to make up for it. And the awesome Nightmare City inspired (okay, maybe not) ending...lets just say, there is nothing better than Tallahassee holding on to a moving roller coaster with one hand, while gunning down zombies with an Uzi in his other hand. With the solid box office showing of Zombieland, there are already rumblings of a possible sequel. I hope that this comes to fruition - I really had a fun time with these characters and this story, and it would be great to see what other shenanigans they can get themselves into.

Three More Days Till Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...

I went and put up a big fat baby ass with a pumpkin painted on it for my header in the spirit of the last week of Chucktober and the final and insanely sad moments before Halloween passes us by...like a candle in the wind. You know for a fact that baby ass is gonna be pumpkin pie for a certain bearded male with roundhouse kick capability, but till the season is over, safe that ass is. As always, I have had an okay Halloween, filled with a lot of excitement and a sliver of letdown for whatever lame reasons that decide to come up and ruin things.

I was off from work on Thursday and did whatever I do when not working (kicking a ton of ass and tanning). When Sunday rolled around, I was out of work remarkably early, so I thought, "I can go to one of the two local Haunted Houses tonight!" Nope. The mother fucking Haunted Houses are closed on Sundays - and here's the kicker...they're open on Thursdays! So I could have went to both of the local haunts in one day, but I would have never thought that a "weekend attraction" would be open on a weekday, let alone closed on a Sunday.

Being that I moved not too long ago, I got a new job, which is good, right? Yeah, good until you walk in and see a sign asking that no employees take off Halloween, or the day beforehand for that matter. I can begrudgingly deal with that a little more as I understand it's the weekend and I am new, so who am I really to complain. However, I will complain about the fact that two out of three pumpkins were snagged from my house the other night! I feel like I've been raped. By a shark. I shouldn't get too pissed...it's not like I've never taken a pumpkin from a house before, but mixed in with the Haunted House thing, it just really chaps my ass.

On the bright side, I am very happy that I can safely leave the rest of my Halloween decorations outside without anyone messing with them - and pumpkins of gigantic sizes are on sale at Walfart for $1. $1! Oh yeah, I did have a can of soup in the witches cauldron out in front to keep it from blowing away in the wind, but those cock-hairs took that too. At least it was vegetable soup, so no real loss I guess...in fact, I should thank them.

There have been plenty of ups to go with my downs however. I'm pretty psyched that I was able to see a few good horror films in theaters lately with Zombieland last week and Paranormal Activity tonight (reviews soon to follow). As always with this time of year, there are a ton of great Halloween programs on TV and I cannot get enough of it! Nothing says Halloween quite like Theo Huxtable in a Dracula custom topped off with a jheri curl wig! There is also a ton of Halloween fun to check out in the blog world too.

Over at Dinner With Max Jenke, my good buddy Jeff has a "Trick or Trailers" countdown to Halloween going on right this very second. He has some awesome trailers and his nostalgic thoughts on them are always entertaining. Every ones favorite Bugg, as in T.L. Bugg of The Lightning Bug's Lair has his own countdown titled: The Halloween Top 13: The Sequel! This is where he counts down his 13 favorite Horror sequels of all time and his picks have been mighty fine thus far. Also, keep a look out, as yours truly will be showing up on there with my own list of favorite horror sequels too! There are a ton of other blogs doing great Halloween shit, but too many for me to mention in just one post.

However, I would like to direct you all over to our good friends (and proud Baby Eaters!) at Planet of Terror who have an interview with Will Devokees, a 20 year old filmmaker who is finishing up his very first feature film, Macabre Medicine. This Grindhouse homage is self-financed by the young filmmaker and we here at Chuck Norris Ate My Baby are big supporters of any one that has the tenacity to even attempt to make their own movie...independent Horror is the driving force of creativity, so support it I shall!

I gotta get moving...the Scream Awards are on and that will probably be kind of mediocre I'm sure, but at least it will have some cool shit on it mixed in with the lame musical performances, so I'll check it out. Thanks for listening to my whining and bitching and I would love to hear how your Halloween holiday season is going thus far. Until then, Happy happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...