Scary Movie (1991): House of Bore-ors

When a paranoid young man attempts to enjoy an evening of fun and frights at a local haunted attraction, he soon comes to believe that an escaped lunatic has found his way into the house of horrors and is now killing off the patrons.  

Written and directed by Daniel Erickson, 1991’s Scary Movie is a lesser-known Halloween set horror film that has an interesting concept but struggles to execute it in a satisfying fashion. Much of the film takes place outside of the haunted house, where seemingly every single person living in the small town is in attendance, patiently waiting for the attraction to open. This includes Warren (John Hawkes, in his very first role), a skittish and socially awkward young man trying his best to keep up with the cool kids and, more so, the girls. Specifically one girl who carries a salt shaker, a cucumber and toilet paper in her purse (don't ask).

Meanwhile, a mental patient escapes while being transported from one hospital to another. The local police begin their search and become quite concerned that the escaped lunatic might be making his way to the haunted house to wreck havoc on unsuspecting patrons. Simultaneously, Warren catches wind that mental patient has escaped and, much like the police, comes to believe he has actually made his way into the haunted house. This causes Warren’s level of paranoia to skyrocket, and when he finally finds himself inside the haunted house, he has to do whatever it takes to try to make it through with his life and, more importantly, his sanity.

What is most notable about Scary Movie is in fact the character of Warren, as he is the major focus of the film. However, despite a solid performance by Hawkes, Warren is, to say the least, an extremely tedious character, and this is just simply due to how annoyingly skittish he is. This is compounded by the fact that much of the first act focuses almost solely on him being both awkward and paranoid in his social surroundings. As a result, throughout the course of Scary Movie, it becomes increasingly difficult to feel any sort of sympathy for Warren. Worse yet, it’s hard to not outright hate him.

One undeniably successful element of Scary Movie, however, is the atmosphere, specially all the scenes outside of the haunted house. With the party like ambience, the fog, the chilly fall night, and the haunted house as the backdrop, it brings about memories of going to haunted hayrides and other such Halloween attractions growing up. Sometimes the wait and build up to an attraction is just as enjoyable as the actual attraction itself, and that is fairly well represented in this film.

With Warren being the one weak spot in the film, albeit a major one, I can't help but think Scary Movie may have worked better if it were simply focused on the usual group of stupid teens getting hacked and slashed, as opposed to resting on the shoulders of such a repulsively obnoxious character. I appreciate the attempt at doing something a little different character wise, but in this case, it ends up hurting the film more than it helps, regardless of its atmospheric Halloween setting and clever ending.

‘There's Something Following Me’ Delivers Big Halloween Scares with Little-to-No Budget

After missing her bus, Cody Richards (Amanda Wells) finds herself having to walk home alone from school. Despite reports that a local youth has gone missing, and numerous warnings from one of her teachers, Cody isn’t too worried, as she has walked home from school a number of times without any incident. However, today is different than others, as it’s Halloween, and unbeknownst to Cody, an unknown force has sinister plans for the free-spirited young girl.  

Coming in at a brisk 40 minutes and made with little to no budget, There’s Something Following Me is a Halloween-set short film that not only harkens back to the more family friendly horror films of the 70s and 80s, it’s a throwback to the VHS era, which is shown both in its visual aesthetic and the fashion in which it was released.

Extremely low grade in every sense, the short gives off an authentic retro vibe that succeeds because the filmmakers clearly have a great understanding of how to achieve such a vibe without ever feeling insincere. In terms of picture quality, There's Something Following Me purposely has a low-definition look about it, as edges are blurry and the picture slightly washed out. As a result, the film has a wonderful aesthetic, which is only compounded and complemented by the fact that it was released exclusively on VHS.

To go along with the visual aesthetic, the film captures a specific time period through its locations and set design. What immediately stood out for me, unsurprisingly, is the vintage Halloween décor strewn throughout both Cody’s school and in her neighborhood, which is very much appealing to someone of my sensibilities. Accompanying the locations and set design, the simplistic yet well executed story is marginally creepy, as it is focused more on building atmosphere and tension than spilling blood. As a result, There's Something Following Me works quite perfectly as a mostly kid-safe horror film that, most importantly, never panders or plays it too safe.

Something else worth noting are the scenes of Cody walking home from school, which is very reminiscent of Laurie Strode walking home in Halloween. This comes through in the location, the way these scenes are shot and pieced together, and of course the score, which consists of a simple yet effective piano piece. And really, all of it works quite well as a nod to John Carpenter’s classic as well as on its own merits.

While There’s Something Following Me will live on with a small handful of people who have been lucky enough to discover it – due to its low budget nature and the format it's released on – it's a little unfortunate that many will miss out on this one, as it certainly deserves a place in the hearts of anyone who has love for independent horror and, more so, Halloween as a holiday. Thankfully, however, the filmmakers have uploaded the film to YouTube in 4 parts. Furthermore, if you’re still rocking a VCR, you can pick up the VHS, which has some cool special features and a handful of other shorts, for a relatively fair price via Briarwood Entertainment.

Satan’s Blade (1984): A Warm Turd On A Cold Day

The slasher boom brought about an overabundance of films ranging in quality, budget and notoriety, and if ever there were a genre with deep cuts, the slasher genre is it. It’s not much of a surprise, as it doesn’t get any simpler and more cost effective than a group of people being stalked by an unknown killer in a single location, especially when that location is as free of charge as nature is. Of course, delivering on the quality takes far more work than slapping together a group of friends to spend a few weekends in the woods being chased by some guy with an axe. There needs to be tension; there needs to be a sense of dread; there needs to be a certain level of craftsmanship on display; and there needs to be some sort of passion injected into the project.

This is why a slasher film such as 1984’s Satan’s Blade is such an interesting one. On the surface, Satan’s Blade is a terrible slasher film. It’s not particularly well made, sharing more in common with a public access show than something like Halloween or Black Christmas. The performances, while being consistent, are amateurish and best comparable to that of an eighth-grade school play. And even the story – which focuses on two groups of vacationers being stalked and slashed by a guy who, as it turns out, is possessed by the spirit of a killer mountain man wielding the titular blade – is somehow convoluted, despite being so simple.

All these elements considered, Satan’s Blade is genuine and, dare I say somewhat ambitious. Sure, much of the movie reeks of ineptitude, which comes in the form of an abundance of static shots and even an entire sequence where the killer and the lead character fight in the living room with the lights off. Despite this, however, there are times where the film shows signs, slight as they may be, of artistry.

One of these moments in particular is an effective dream sequence where a killer is attacking a group of women in a hotel room. The claustrophobic location alone is enough to create unease, but things become all the more terrifying when being forced to watch as the killer, who wears a simple yet frightening mask, viciously murders each woman in the room as the others watch in fear, knowing it will only be a matter of seconds before he comes for them. The sound design and the fashion in which the sequence is shot only adds to the effectiveness of the scene, making it a true standout in a film that maybe doesn't warrant it.

One element of Satan’s Blade that really stands out is its location. Shot in and around Big Bear Lake in California, the winter-set mountain location is simply gorgeous to look at and certainly a high point of the film. Of course, the location may be a tad overused, as there are an overabundance of nature shots clearly used to fill time and ensure the film is feature length. Regardless, a good setting can add a lot of value to a film, and the snowy mountain locations make for the perfect backdrop to spill a little blood, which thankfully comes in abundance.

Courtesy of a sleeveless mad man wearing tan construction gloves and wielding “Satan’s blade,” the death scenes are aplenty in the film’s short 82 minute runtime. Now, while the kills are consistently simplistic throughout the film – mostly relegated to straightforward stabbings, manly in the back – there remains a brutality about them that is unexpected, especially when you consider how unimpressive they are. In fact, I believe that the simplicity of the kills are actually a benefit, as the lack of flash feels grounded in reality and slightly more effective as a result.   

Satan’s Blade is the only film writer/director L Scott Castillo Jr. ever made. It’s not much of a surprise, seeing as there were a slew of one and done slasher film directors in the heyday of ‘80s horror. If you were lucky, there was money to be made, and a number of folks went and tried to cash in on the craze. I honestly don’t think this was Castillo’s intention, as the results are certainly that of someone trying to get every idea they have out and onto the screen, almost aware that this was their one big shot at doing something special. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t looking for a big payday, but at the very least there as some sense of care put into his project.



A sane person might consider a film like 1984’s Satan’s Blade to be a terrible movie. A sane person, however, has more than likely never even heard of a film like Satan’s Blade, let alone seen it. Let’s face it, movies such as Satan’s Blade only speak to a certain demographic of movie fan, specifically one driven by people who are able to brush off a turd and find that glint of polish just below the surface. To say it takes a special kind of person would be an understatement, and really, it’s those people who are keeping a certain segment of cinema alive, and all during a time when the odds are (or at least should be) most stacked against them.

The Basement (1989): Tales from The Unfinished Cellar

After four poorly-dubbed people find themselves mysteriously trapped in someone’s unfinished basement, they come face-to-face with The Sentinel, a spirit who informs the group that they have found the portal to hell, and now they must confess their sins. Not their sins of the past, however, but the sins they will commit in the future!

Written and directed by Timothy O'Rawe (Ghoul School), The Basement is a shot on Super 8 anthology film that went unreleased until 2011 when Camp Motion Pictures released the film as the main feature in a 5 film Retro 80s Horror Collection. Interestingly, not only did the film go unreleased, it actually sat in storage, unedited, for 2 decades before the film’s director of photography, Michael Raso, took to restoring it in 2010.

The Basement is an extremely low-budget riff on 1972’s Tales From the Crypt, in that a group of less than desirable people come to learn that the poor choices they make will lead to their undoing. This leads to four not-so-inspired tales of terror, starting off with The Swimming Pool.

Focusing on a Black Widow-esque female character who lures men into a swimming pool for one final swim with a sea creature that sort of looks like a garden hose, The Swimming Pool is both a horrible and a wonderful way to kick off the anthology. The segment is bad in every way possible, but it’s bad in the silliest of ways thanks to the dialogue and performance by the lead actress. Of course, the entire situation is so preposterous – especially in how cheaply executed it is – that it’s difficult to believe that the segment is actually a part of reality. As I alluded to at the start of this review, The Basement has some of the very worst  ADR work I have ever heard in any film – which is quite the feat considering some of the movies I watch – and this is most true with The Swimming Pool. To be fair, however, a movie this bad only benefits from such incompetence, simply because it adds yet another layer of unintentional humor.

The second segment, Trick or Treat, is A Christmas Carol style tale about a disgruntled teacher who hates children and Halloween, and he has no problem expressing his distaste. However, his angry ways come back to haunt him when on Halloween night he is visited by a variety of creatures such as demons, witches, and the undead, all warning him that he basically needs to stop being such a jerk. Trick or Treat is one of the best segments of The Basement for a few reasons, one being the heavy focus on make-up effects, which are actually quite impressive despite the low budget. Something else that really stands out in the Trick or Treat is a dream sequence where the teacher goes on a classroom-murder spree, killing off all of his students, one by one, in a variety of bloody ways.

The third segment is Zombie Movie, a moderately enjoyable story that takes place on the set of a low-budget zombie film that becomes infested with real zombies. The main focus of this segment is a sleazy director who has no respect for horror, let alone the film he’s making. To him, it’s all about making a quick buck, and he has no problem being a complete dick about it. It’s obvious that Zombie Movie is commenting on the studio horror films and sequels that were churned out for a quick profit at the time, which is funny as people still seem to have the same complaints nowadays, despite looking back fondly on horror cinema from the 1980s. Funny how that works.

The final segment, Home Sweet Home, is about a young writer who buys a run-down home, despite being warned that it’s haunted. Shortly after moving into the dark and creepy house, one of the writer’s best friends shows up, and the two spend the evening getting wasted and talking about how this will be the perfect house for them to work on future horror projects. Unfortunately for the friend, however, there will be no future, because he is soon murdered by a demon. Overall, Home Sweet Home is a weak entry in The Basement, though it is kept afloat by some impressive creature makeup effects. The only other notable aspect of the segment is the fact that, as opposed to the characters in the previous segments, the lead character really doesn’t do anything wrong to make him deserving of spiritual reprimand. Makes almost as much sense as the 50 tea lights that are surrounding the bed that the main character and his girlfriend use to make sex.

The Basement is only 109 minutes long, so minus credits you're looking at about an hour or so of movie. With there being four segments, such a short runtime equals very little time to do much with each segment in terms of building up suspense. With most films that might be an issue, but in the case of The Basement, I think it helps. Spending too much time on each of these already anemic segments could be a cause for boredom, which is the worst sin that any B-movie can commit.   

Overall, The Basement is an astoundingly inept film made by people whose hearts were in the right place, which is a huge part of making a truly bad movie an enjoyable one for those who savor such entertainment.

U.F.O. Abduction AKA The McPherson Tape (1989): Abducted Footage

During a child’s birthday celebration, the Van Heese family finds their rural Connecticut home under attack by aliens. Without a way to leave the home or call out for help, the family tries to fight back, as the youngest of three brothers videotapes the entire frightening incident.

Written and directed by Dean Alioto, U.F.O. Abduction is a 1989 found footage horror film inspired by popular books such as Whitley Strieber's novel Communion and other stories of alien abduction from the time period. Wanting to get his first film under his belt, Alioto took the idea of alien abduction and spun it into a film that – mixed with an inexpensive home-video style of filmmaking – could be made for the extremely modest budget of $6,500. The result is a film that has an authentic feel to it, at least in terms of the visual aesthetic. The situation the characters face and the way they sometimes react to it, however, is an entirely different story.

The film opens with a simple dinner table scene, where the Van Hesse family is enjoying a 5th birthday celebration for the youngest of the family. There’s a fairly natural family dynamic at hand, at least in terms of how everyone is interacting with one another. Many conversations are going on at the same time, which is a normal occurrence at many a family table. Though as much as it adds a realistic feel to the film, it doesn’t make for interesting viewing when looking in from the outside.

Shortly after the family sing happy birthday, the power goes out, at which point the film becomes dark and a little discombobulated, adding to the realism of the situation. This leads to a scene where – while out trying to fix the circuit breaker – the three brothers notice some strange lights coming from the woods. The three men decide to investigate the area where the lights were coming from, but what they discover, however, is a spaceship and a handful of grey aliens. 

Afraid for their life, the brothers take off running back to the house after the aliens noticed the three men spying on them. Back at the house and fully armed with shotguns, the brothers argue as to whether or not they should all stay put, leave the house for safety or go out and kick some alien ass. Indecisive, the family realizes they need to cool down for a minute, and they do so by eating some birthday cake and having the little girl opening her birthday presents. This is a huge standout in a film that is trying to portray a sense of realism. At what point can a person ignore, even for the briefest of moments, that they just had an encounter with an alien lifeform? Yet, somehow they do. In fact, it gets to the point where they act as if the occurrence had never even happened.  

This seems to be a bit of a theme in U.F.O. Abduction. The characters react in one of two different ways: freak out and become completely irrational in the silliest of ways, or act completely lackadaisical as if everything is okay USA.

Outside of the previous example, these varied reactions come to play during two key scenes in particular. One being the reaction the brothers have when the little girl shows them a picture she drew of an alien she saw outside of the window. This sends the brothers into a frenzy, meaning they act like raging lunatics running around with loaded shotguns. What’s really funny about this scene is, up until this point, everything was hunky dory, which is interesting considering they had already “made contact” with the alien life forms.

As this is happening, the aliens begin to attack the home, at which point one of the men shoots and kills one of the aliens. The men decide to bring the alien’s corpse inside the house and store it in one of the bedrooms, which leads to my second example of the two extreme reactions that the family has to this alien invasion. Shortly after the three brothers leave to hunt down the rest of the aliens, the remaining family members, all female, decide to play a game of go fish. WHILE A DEAD ALIEN IS IN THE NEXT ROOM. No need to expound upon that, as I think the situation speaks for itself.

U.F.O. Abduction pre-dates The Blair Witch Project by ten years, though the film was hardly seen by anyone other than U.F.O. enthusiasts. This is really where the film becomes most interesting, at least in terms of historical merit. Shortly after seeing a truncated direct-to-video run, the master print of the film was lost in a fire and the film was basically forgotten about, even by the director, Dean Alioto. It wasn’t until a few years later where a bootleg version of the U.F.O. Abduction began floating around U.F.O. circles under the title The McPherson Tape. This bootleg was conveniently missing the opening and closing credit sequences of the film as well as was presented as a true event of an alien invasion, convincing many people that it was a real event caught on tape. In fact, there are many people out there who still believe that the footage is indeed that of fact. 

As crazy as that sounds, the tale of U.F.O. Abduction grows all the more wild nearly ten years later when Dean Alioto was approached to helm a remake of the film to air on the UPN network. After completing the movie, Alioto ended up getting pushed out of the picture by unhappy (and new) studio heads, who disliked what Alioto had delivered. Before releasing the film as a one-hour TV special titled Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County, the studio had the film edited down, added some new interviews and removed bumpers that warned viewers that the film was a work of fiction. Their intent clearly aimed at making people believe that the remake of a fake film was in fact real. And guess what? Many people believed it, and still do to this very day.

I highly encourage reading Dean Alioto’s vastly more detailed explanation of the events that led to Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County, as it’s quite fascinating:

Dean Alioto on the making of Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County

In the end, U.F.O. Abduction is most certainly ahead of its time in terms of concept, but as a film it doesn't deliver much of a punch. However, much of that can be blamed on the fact it doesn't really try to throw too many. it is, after all, a low-budget film trying to go for as much realism as possible. In that sense, it succeeds. Unfortunately, however, some may find the film a tad underwhelming, especially when there have been so many found footage films that have nailed the technique (and plenty more that haven’t). Nevertheless, with a storied background that proves to be more interesting than anything the film could deliver on its own, U.F.O. Abduction is an interesting piece of film history that will forever be discussed and analyzed deep within the confines of the internet.

Salute Your Shorts: Flicker (2013)

It’s Halloween night, and shortly after stealing a jack-’o-lantern off a scarecrow, a young girl learns from a friend that the jack-’o-lantern is cursed. Naturally, the young girl doesn’t believe her friend, and proceeds paint and even mock the jack-’o-lantern as she waits for her friends to come over so they can see her new prized possession. When her friends don’t show up on time, however, the girl finds herself stuck in the house alone as strange things begin to happen. Was her friend right about the jack-’o-lantern being cursed, or is she just being a little paranoid on this frightful Halloween night?

Written & Directed by Robert Zellner, Flicker does a nice job of building tension through camerawork, music and pacing. There’s a sinister feel throughout the piece, but not in a fashion that’s mean spirited, though it’s certainly in a way that is very fitting to the Halloween season. In terms of tone, Flicker feels very much inline with something that you’d see in an episode of Goosebumps, though on a much shorter and cheaper scale.

The 7 minute short is bookended by some minimal stop-motion animation of the scarecrow, which is possibly the most impressive element of the short. There’s not a lot of movement involved, but these moments work as nice and simple visual treat that adds value to the overall package.  

Flicker is cheaply made and a tad silly, but it's a fun watch and it's heart is certainly in the right place, which is really all that matters in a short film of this nature.

The Houses October Built (2014): This Old Haunted House

Five friends go on a road trip to find the most extreme haunted houses in America, all while hoping to uncover and document something more sinister than your average haunt. While the group come across a few creepy things along the way, their trip turns up very little outside of sporadic rumors about a traveling haunt that is considered the craziest of them all. As they increase their search for this mysterious haunt, things start to take a dangerous turn when a group of very disturbed people begins to mess with them, putting the friends in a situation far more intense than they had ever anticipated. 

Directed by Bobby Roe, The Houses October Built is a found footage style horror flick that does little to differentiate itself from the pack in terms of execution. Where the film does sometimes excel, however, is in its overall concept and some of the ideas that are able to bleed through the thick layer of predictability.

The film is essentially a documented look at a group of friends as they travel from haunt to haunt, all the while trying to gain some insight into what makes some of the people who work at these things tick. For some, working at a haunted house is a fun and thrilling way to spend the Halloween season, while there are others who could potentially use the platform as a way to work out some anger on unsuspecting patrons. Throughout the film, the group of friends hear stories about how there’s always the chance that some haunted house employees could be a danger, and no one would know beforehand as there are no pre-employment background checks and other things of that nature. Furthermore, and this is specific to the Midwest locations in the film, many of these haunts are located in very rural areas, where sometimes things can be, well, a tad sketchy.

One of the more frightening elements of The Houses October Built is the fact that it’s difficult to differentiate between what situations and people are actually dangerous and what aren’t. They’re dealing with haunted houses, after all, and the actors at these haunts – especially at some of the more successful ones – will very rarely break character. In fact, many times they’ll do whatever it takes to scare a person, short of harming them of course. Or at least that’s what we hope. The truth of the matter is, you really never know what lengths people will go to mess with you, let alone how far they'll actually go. Worse yet, who’s to stop them before it’s too late?

As far as the cast is concerned, the five friends have a very natural rapport with one another, which is likely due to them being friends in real life. While they’re able to play off one another in a natural and realistic fashion, they're not exactly the most fleshed out group of people, let alone the most likable. There's a certain level of disrespect and ignorance a few individuals give off at times – especially in terms of how they look down on the “backwoods” people who are running these haunts –  and that is exactly what puts them in such a rough situation with the locals. Are they so bad as characters that they deserve to be terrorized in the fashion that they are? Not in the least, but it's not always about what one deserves, especially within the confines of a horror film.

An unfortunate component of The Houses October Built is the naivety that plagues the five main characters as a collective. As events unfold throughout the film, at some point one would assume these characters would see enough warning signs to pack up and head the hell home, no matter what anyone else says. It's certainly a trait attributed to found footage films – specifically the one character constantly talking everyone into seeing this thing through to the end, no matter how sketchy things may get – and it's a fairly frustrating element at times, especially in the final act.  

One of the more enjoyable elements of The Houses October Built are the haunted attractions the characters visit. Not only does the film do a good job of showing how effective a haunted house can be – especially a really good one – it conveys the enjoyment that can come from being in such a freak show like atmosphere. It certainly works much better than the unnecessary strip club scene that serves no other purpose than to fit some obnoxiously fake boobies into the film.

The Houses October Built is a fairly predictable affair and certainly simplistic in terms of narrative, but it builds tension by presenting a situation that, while a tad far fetched, is plausible. At least in terms of the unsafe situations in which the naive characters put themselves in. If only the film could have fleshed out its ideas a little more proficiently and made better use of some of the more effective imagery – such as the little girl in the white mask, who is utterly frightening. As a result, The Houses October Built is nothing more than a minor and slightly stale treat to be enjoyed around the Halloween season, and nothing more.

 

‘Occam’s Razor’ Looks to Carve Out Some Funding

Director and USC Film Student Alex Parslow is looking to add a little spunk to his USC graduate thesis with a Kickstarter campaign. The goal is to raise enough money so Parslow’s short film, Occam’s Razor, is not only excellent, but good enough to work as a proof of concept for a feature-length horror film.

Set in 1851, Occam’s Razor is described as a classic Gothic horror with a unique twist, focusing on a post-mortem photographer who is called into a small conservative Pennsylvania town to photograph dozens of children who mysteriously died. The photographer, however, soon realizes the spirits of the deceased are trying to communicate to him, leading him to investigate and uncover the town’s dark and twisted secret.

The film, which will star Beth Grant and Carmen Argenziano, is set to be directed by USC School of Cinematic Arts MFA-candidate Alex Parslow, who co-wrote with Andre Kovalov. Parslow and Kovalov recently made a splash with their script Apex Dark, which landed them on both the "Hit List" and "Young and Hungry List," for best unproduced screenplays in the industry. Through this they have secured representation with Lee Stobby Entertainment and are already taking meetings on the development of Occam’s Razor, and are eager to develop a fully conceived version of the short.

Please take a few minutes to check out their Kickstarter video below, and if you are feeling supportive, hit the link at the bottom of this post to donate towards their cinematic cause.

Occam's Razor Facebook Page

Occam's Razor Kickstarter Page

Salute Your Shorts: Selfie (2014)

Opening with a moment of crippled intimacy between a young couple, Selfie tells the story of a young woman (Jasmine Breinburg) who finds herself on the wrong end of betrayal.

Within the first few seconds of this 7 minute short film, it is clear that the woman has just turned her boyfriend (Thomas Law) down after a sexual advance. She is visibly distressed by what occurred, indicating that he may not have taken it so well at first. Though, in the moment the viewer is brought into their world, the boyfriend is trying to patch things up by showing a level of understanding about her hesitations.

The boyfriend leaves for the afternoon, but later on in the day the two exchange text messages that bring a smile to the girl’s face, indicating that they’ve made up. Immediately after this interaction, the young woman decides to show her beau a little sexual affection by taking a topless photo of herself and sending it to him. While her intentions are innocent, her boyfriend’s are very questionable, as he betrays her trust by sharing her photo on a voyeur website.  

Written and directed by Ben A. Williams, Selfie is a companion piece to Stephen Fingleton’s short film S.L.R. (S.L.R. review). There’s a lot of connective tissue between Selfie and S.L.R., something of which gives the world contained within the two shorts a feeling that is both confined and vast. Furthermore, the way Selfie and S.L.R. intertwine with one another makes the voyeuristic elements coursing through both films all the more unnerving.

Like S.L.R., Selfie is an exceptionally made short film. There’s a slight haze and slow flowing dreamlike quality to the Selfie that exudes a tangible feeling of tranquility, something of which comes in stark contrast to the very dark undercurrents contained within the film. What’s most impressive, though, is that this is all done in only 7 minutes.

I highly recommend watching both S.L.R. and Selfie, and in that order. Both are truly impressive short movies that receive nothing but the highest marks from myself.

Paranormal Entity (2009) En-titties Abound

*Disclaimer!* I wrote a handful of articles for a now defunct e-zine called BthroughZ a number of years back, and when that site went belly up, so did the reviews I wrote for it. I didn’t want to lose the articles I worked so hard to write, so here I am, reposting them here, in all their imperfection, for your mild enjoyment.

With what The Asylum is known for as a film studio - which is to take something that is successful and make a cheap carbon copy of it - Paranormal Activity must have been like finding the Lost Ark for the infamous movie company. Here is a film that only cost around 15k to make, far less than many of the films that The Asylum have taken from previously, which are generally summer blockbusters with budgets higher than a pre-Iron Man Robert Downey Jr.

Paranormal Entity is The Asylum's answer to Paranormal Activity, but from what I gather the budget was quite a bit higher than the 2009 sleeper hit, though, still much lower than the usual Asylum fare. More money doesn't necessarily mean better quality, but it does result in enough cash to get the hot chick in the film to show her breasts more than a handful of times. Still, while being far from perfect, Paranormal Entity is a surprisingly passable and sometimes even effective entry into the Cinéma vérité horror genre.

Paranormal Entity's focus is placed on the Finley’s, a family that is dealing with the recent lose of their father, something that has resulted in the widowed Ellen (Fia Perera) trying to communicate with her recently deceased husband. Surprisingly, Ellen gets a response, but it quickly becomes apparent that the spirit she is in contact with is not that of her late husband. What starts as a small haunting quickly becomes increasingly dangerous as each day passes, with much of the spirit's attention being placed  on Ellen's daughter, Samantha (Erin Marie Hogan).

As is the case with many films of this genre, a character feels the need to try to capture all of these unnatural occurrences on tape, and that someone would be the son of the family, Thomas. Thomas sets up cameras in all three of the bedrooms as well as one in the living room in the hopes of capturing some “paranormal activity.” From that point forward, Paranormal Entity delivers everything one would expect from a low level P.A. cash-in: crosses fall off walls, sheets are pulled off of a conveniently half naked Samantha, doors slam shut, lights flicker, and the Finley family becomes increasingly frightened for their physical safety as things escalate.

While there was more money invested into Paranormal Entity, the decision to keep things minimal was the right way to go as far as recreating a film similar to the one that came to influence it. There are only three thinly-written characters (with a fourth introduced in the final act), with one of them being played by the writer, producer and director of Paranormal Entity, Shane van Dyke. This is a movie that is made in the same 'spirit' (see what I did just there?) as Paranormal Activity, but the results are mixed, showing that what Peli did was one part achievable by anyone with a camera and a buck, while another part proves that those results aren't so easily attainable by just any average Joe filmmaker.

While Paranormal Entity cannot fully deliver what its more respected brethren have, there are a few moments worthy of a solid little jolt. There’s a fair amount of static camerawork on display, which forces an automatic sense of fear and curiosity as it’s hard not to watch every little detail of each room, just waiting for something spooky to happen. The haunting moments themselves are far from stellar and can easily be done by any old schmuck with a camera and a dream. Lights flickering and TVs turning on aren't difficult things to achieve, and neither is the before mentioned covers being pulled off of Samantha, which was hysterically achieved by a very obvious fishing line.

One of the big issues with Paranormal Entity, and with many films of the genre, is it has some serious downtime when there aren't any 'happenings' happening. The characters aren't all too interesting, or even likable for that matter, and there are long moments where things go down the lonely path of boring. There is a portion of Paranormal Entity where Ellen and Samantha leave their home to stay at a hotel, far from the threat of the evil presence that is plaguing them. When they leave, Thomas proceeds to spend a good (well, not literally good) fifteen minutes setting up their house with camera equipment to see if the entity will make an appearance in the absence of his mother and sister. To say this scene is boring and overly drawn out would be like claiming genital warts are not a good look.

Paranormal Entity is pretty straightforward for much of the first half. However, as the runtime ran down, exploitational elements are slowly introduced. This aspect of the film mostly involves the Samantha character, who is clearly threatened in a sexual manner by this unseen menace. As those elements become more prevalent, it also became obvious that this is an Asylum movie. Which is fine, everything needs its place, and I don't mind that place being on my TV from time to time. Nevertheless, Paranormal Entity did, at times, have a good chance at being a contender. In the end, however, the true colors shined through and kept it from fully leaving the playground in which the rest of The Asylum movies normally play.

 

Ghoul School (1990): Too Ghoul for School

When a group of dim-witted criminals attempt to steal a fortune in cash from a high school basement, they accidentally unleash a poison into the school’s water supply, resulting in the swim team and a handful of other students becoming flesh-eating ghouls. The only people who can stop this outbreak from breaking out are a couple of horror geeks, Jeff and Steve (Scott Gordon and William Friedman), a five-man basketball team and the baddest rock band of all time, the Bloodsucking Ghouls. Will they be able to expel this ghoulish nightmare, or find themselves stuck in permanent detention?

Written and directed by Timothy O’Rawe, Ghoul School is an immensely low-budget horror comedy that somehow, someway delivers the goods despite being riddled with issues. Comically bad acting is sporadically laced throughout the film, which is often enhanced by post-production dialogue so ridiculous that it would almost seem like they were doing it on purpose to get a laugh. Furthermore, the editing is amateurish at best, featuring an abundance of awkwardly edited and staged moments of dialogue where characters seem as if they are in two completely different planes of existence.

Despite a runtime of 70 minutes, Ghoul School has a whole lot going on. There are a number of parallel storylines that, regardless of coming together in the film’s finale, seem to be nothing more than nonsensical filler. With horror junkies Jeff and Steve being the obvious leads, the film mainly focuses on them as they sneak into the AV room to watch a bootleg of the latest zombie gore film before the ghoul outbreak occurs. During this time, there are sections of the film dedicated to the Bloodsucking Ghouls, who come equipped with mullets, massive amounts of fringe, cheetah print, and weight-lifting gloves, all things you want and need in a hair-metal band. What the viewer does not get, however, is a taste of "the best goddamn rock 'n roll singer in New York," because their performance suspiciously lacks vocals.

Keeping the film’s momentum at a crawl is the worst basketball practice ever hosted by the worst coach ever who is forcing the varsity basketball team to practice an extra hour because they suck. What follows are an abundance of sporadic scenes where the viewer is privy to the basketball team lazily taking practice shots and arguing with one another about who’s the gayest. All of these characters eventually come to play a part in the film as a whole, but in all reality this poorly executed build up adds nothing of real value to the film in the scenes leading up to that point. Well, outside of laughable entertainment value, that is.

As out of place as the basketball practice may seem, it holds not a candle to the random scenes featuring Joe Franklin and Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling, both of whom make an appearance as themselves. Serving absolutely no purpose to the film whatsoever, these are clearly nothing more than cameos that came in exchange for favors, or in the case of Martling, self promotion. There are a handful of characters wearing a T-shirt that says “I stumped Jackie the Joke Man!!” as well as a moment where one of Martling’s videos is playing in the background. The most egregious and absurd moment comes from a scene where Martling literally spends 5 minutes telling jokes to Franklin in an office. It’s absolute madness.

While issues are aplenty, Ghoul School is thoroughly enjoyable in a way where its many problems actually add to the film in a positive way. The film somehow retains a level of horror-loving earnestness, which I think can be attributed to it being made by people who genuinely love the genre. Of course, the time period in which the film was made adds to the amusement, especially because it comes at a time when we weren’t all so self-aware. Those who nostalgically cherish the 1980s through modern-day retro-entertainment should enjoy watching a movie such as Ghoul School, as it genuinely delivers much of the same absurd amusement during an era that so many try to capture.

Salute Your Shorts: Mickey (2009)

Mickey opens with a black and white shot boxing match between the film’s titular character, Mickey (Hugh Elliot), and a much larger opponent. Everything seems to be pointing to this being an epic moment for the drastically undersized Mickey; however, within seconds of the bell ringing he is TKO’d. This happens again and again, as Mickey faces off against a handful of opponents, with the result being the same each and every single time.

This opening scene immediately sets the tone for both the film and the character of Mickey, as it is very apparent that, despite having all the odds stacked against him, Mickey never seems as if he’s afraid to step up to a challenge. It's an excellent way to introduce the character, because within a minute’s time the viewer really gets a sense of who the character of Mickey is and what he has likely dealt with his entire life.

Shortly after a run in with a dangerous gangster (Joseph West), Mickey is led to a tattoo shop where he discovers a peep show featuring a woman (Jessica Osbourne) imprisoned by chains. Despite the many dangers that he could be facing, Mickey decides it's his duty to rescue this woman. Will this attempt at heroism lead to the good-hearted Mickey getting one over the bad guys, or will this be yet another failure in the making for a character who has never had anything go right for him?

Written and Directed by Dusty McGowan, Mickey is a 20 minute short film that doesn’t rely on much dialogue to tell its tale of a character who refuses to let his small stature be a roadblock for his principles. To go with the lack of dialogue is a true sense of surrealism. Mickey is, at times, a strange film and somewhat reflective of the works of David Lynch, and this both works for and against the final product. The oddness of the film makes it tonally confusing at first, but once it’s clear that McGowan is going for surrealism, everything begins to gel a little better.

Overall, Mickey is an enjoyable little oddity about a little man with a big heart, so take 20 minutes to give it a watch for yourself below!

The Addicted (2013): An Overdose of Mediocre

Led by a budding journalist named Nicole (Jenny Gayner), a group of friends spend the night in an abandoned rehab clinic with the intent of capturing some paranormal activity on film. What they come across, however, is a sinister spirit AND a serial killer, both of whom intend on cutting their evening a little short.

Written and directed by Sean J. Vincent (who also stars), The Addicted finds itself trying juggle a lot of balls, but ultimately drops many of them. The catalyst for the film’s horror comes from a storied past involving a drug rehabilitation facility, where a diabolical doctor has been keeping his patients hooked on heroin. This leads to one of the patients killing himself, which then results in an evil spirit that haunts the now abandoned rehab clinic as well as gives birth to a serial killer with a penchant for injecting his victims with enough heroin to NOT kill them. Whatever sense that makes. So it’s already quite apparent that there’s a whole lot of antagonist to deal with here, and how they connect does nothing but make things even more convoluted.  

At what would normally be a reasonable 90 minutes, The Addicted finds a way to overstay its welcome. There are a number of scenes that feel painfully dragged out as well as moments that literally serve no purpose to the story or the characters. One of the most egregious moments comes in the form of a 5 minute musical montage, in which the four main characters get completely bombed before heading out to spend the night at the rehabilitation facility. This poorly thought out scene not only brings the film to a complete halt, it makes absolutely no sense in the context of these “adult” characters. Furthermore, the lead character, Nicole, is looking to hit the big time and become a credible journalist, so why would she get smashed just before going out on a self-imposed assignment?! I don't think Anderson Cooper downs a fifth of vodka before going to the Gaza Strip.

There are plenty of other questionable and often silly elements strewn throughout The Addicted. Multiple characters are dragged away by their feet a la the ending of REC. In fact, it actually happens to the same character three times. You’d think he might have been a little more alert after the second time it happened. Every time the killer shows up, at least a few dozen light bulbs explode, which makes me wonder: who the hell replaces those things? Also, are they LEDs? ‘Cause them shit’s are expensive. The killer spends a lot of time breaking through drywall, which is kind of funny considering the location is a old brick building. And of course, the typical bad decisions are constantly made, including the ever so wonderful “I just hit the killer with a weapon - then I dropped the weapon - then I went on to make sure the killer was dead only to have said killer get up and kill me” scene.

In the end, The Addicted simply tries to do too much without being able to do much of anything well. It would've been a better idea to either go with a straight slasher film or a straight supernatural film, as opposed to trying to mix the two together. Honestly, I would've preferred them to lean more towards the supernatural, as it's the supernatural elements that are the most enjoyable in a fashion reminiscent of mid-90s Full Moon flicks. For me, a hokey supernatural film with goofy special effects works far better than an unoriginal, stereotypical slasher movie with a plot and setting I've seen dozens of times before.

‘Invasion of the Scream Queens’ (1992) Occupies With Minimal Impact

Coming in right at the height of the scream queen craze, Invasion of the Scream Queens is a documentary built upon numerous interviews with what feels like a myriad of horror actresses. Directed by cult schlockmeister Donald Farmer, the documentary has no real narrative to it and seems to be more of a long-winded ABOUT ME rather than an actual documentary focused on the scream queen era. Regardless, throughout the numerous interviews, there are certainly a few worthy gems as well as some valuable insight into the genre at the time, and all from the perspective of the women who were boobs-deep in it.

Of the many interviews, the viewer is privy to some very well-known actresses as well as a few that you might not have heard of. Some notable interviews come from mainstays Brink Stevens and Michelle Bauer. Coincidentally, I had recently re-watched Screaming In High Heels, so it was interesting to see both actresses just as they are at the height of their career in Invasion of the Scream Queens, whereas in Screaming In High Heels, both Bauer and Stevens are simply reflecting on the past with mixed results. It's a fascinating contrast.  

Other interviews of note come from Janus Blythe, who tells some intriguing stories about meeting a future boyfriend in Jonathan Demme as well as working as a personal assistant to director Tom Holland on Fright Night. Elizabeth Kaitan, who is quite charming and just as sweet, is given an opportunity to unleash her love of film by discussing her adoration for Bonnie and Clyde as well as Martin Scorsese movies such as Taxi Driver, After Hours and Goodfellas, which she frustratingly exclaims "Should have won the Oscar!"

A shockingly youthful looking David DeCoteau turns up as the only male interviewee. While DeCoteau gives some valuable insight, his biggest contribution comes from comments he makes in reference to Linnea Quigley and how they no longer work together for various reasons. DeCoteau goes on to mention something about how they're both "upgrading their career," something of which really piqued my curiosity, especially considering that, outside of a few film clips, Quigley is entirely absent from the documentary.  

One of my favorite interviews from Invasion of the Scream Queens comes from the great Mary Woronov, who gives an entertainingly strange and animated interview. Woronov spends some time discussing working with both Andy Warhol and Paul Bartel as well as her own work as an artist. Throughout her interview, the audience is given the opportunity to actually see some of her fairly impressive artwork, as Woronov both candidly and uncomfortably discusses what each piece means to her. It's really nice to see this aspect of Mary Woronov, and in my opinion, her interview is of great value to the documentary and cult film fans alike.

There are plenty more fascinating interview subjects, though there are also a few that can be a little dry at times, something of which results in sporadic moments of boredom. On the other hand, there are times when the whole affair starts to get a little depressing, which is a result of hearing so many of these actresses talk about how they're looking forward to doing bigger and better things – like getting into mainstream Hollywood pictures –  which is clearly something that would not come to fruition for the majority of them. They all have stars burning bright in their eyes, but it's all just waiting to fade away.

The DVD video quality of the 20th Anniversary Edition of Invasion of the Scream Queens is fairly low, which is clearly due to the fact that it‘s a VHS rip of the original 1992 Mondo Video release, complete with tracking issues and all. Overall, I don't consider this much of a problem, as I assume a VHS release was the only source available. Furthermore, it fits with the era on an aesthetic level. With that being said, however, there are moments where the quality does become a little distracting, specifically when the screen sporadically goes black for a few seconds here and there early in the film.

While I may have my qualms, It's nice to have something like Invasion of the Scream Queens see a DVD release. These interviews are a part of cult cinema history and should be archived as such, and I believe the project as a whole, in all of its imperfections, is worth the time of any horror and cult cinema aficionado.

Invasion of the Scream Queens 20th Anniversary Special Edition is now available for purchase on Amazon.

The Last Buck Hunt (2014): Bucking Expectations

Led by an incompetent celebrity hunter, the crew of an outdoors television show goes deep into the woods in search of a legendary killer buck. What their search leads them to, however, may be more than any one of them had ever bargained for.

You couldn’t throw a rock without hitting an outdoors television show. Whether it be fishing, buck hunting or some form of survival, cable television is filled to the brim with shows dedicated to the outdoors. Heck, there are even a few television networks that are solely dedicated to such programing, and I am confident that they pull in a pretty strong viewership, too. Where we have seen a number of films dedicated to spoofing reality TV, mostly in the form of game/survival shows, The Last Buck Hunt has the distinct pleasure of being the only (that I am aware of) film that parodies a hunting show.

The television program in question, "Who gives a Buck?", is an extremely popular deer hunting show hosted by the great Kenny Wayne (Zach Gold). Because you can’t always believe what you see on TV, Kenny’s reputation as a great outdoorsman is not nearly what it appears to be on television. In fact, Kenny is unfathomably inept and constantly has to rely on his father – who is a legitimate, award-winning and well-respected outdoorsman – to bail him out of embarrassing situations. Worse yet, Kenny’s lack of ability as a hunter is overshadowed by his incredible arrogance, which likely stems from his deep down knowledge that he is completely useless.

Kenny is followed by a small television crew deep into the woods, where they are shooting a special episode focused on Kenny searching for, and hopefully killing, a dangerous mythological buck. The crew consists of a cameraman named Steve (Cathan Bordyn), a sound girl named Alex (Briana Chicha) and a tracking expert named Remmy (Scott C. Brown), which is, of course, short for Remington. Both Steve and Alex are well aware of what a maladroit Kenny is, but the gig pays well enough to deal with his inability to function as a competent human being. However, when their outdoor adventure takes a deadly turn, the crew must decide what is most important to them: their well-being or cementing their fame by capturing the infamous buck.

Directed by Becky and Nicholas Sayers, The Last Buck Hunt is a follow up to their 2010 micro-budget horror film, Break, which I enjoyed back when I reviewed it. In comparison to Break, what’s immediately notable about The Last Buck Hunt is simply how much Becky and Nick Sayers have grown as filmmakers after only one film. I would attribute a larger budget to having a slight impact on this improvement, but the real growth clearly comes from the filmmakers themselves. Everything from the cinematography, editing, sound, script, and dialogue is impressive, and undoubtedly light years away from what was done only three or four years ago with Break.

Driven by solid performances from the small but talented cast, The Last Buck Hunt is best described as a horror-comedy, but it’s the humor that best defines the film, and undeniably the biggest reason why it works so well. The jokes are funny, there are some good sight gags strewn throughout and the script, which was penned by Becky Sayers, is quite witty. Rarely, if ever, does a joke fall flat, which is more than can be said about 90% of theatrically released comedies.

As far as the horror elements go, you won't find much in terms of “terror” in The Last Buck Hunt until the final act. Even then, however, it's the humor and complete insanity of the situation that drives the finale, not horror, and that is certainly not a mark against the film in any way whatsoever. The Sayers stick with a fairly consistent tone from the film’s start and right up until its final moments, and consistency is the name of the game with The Last Buck Hunt, as from top to bottom it’s a thoroughly entertaining and well-crafted film. 

There is no release date set as of this writing, so in the meantime, you can keep tabs on The Last Buck Hunt by heading over to the website at: The Last Buck Hunt