The Last Buck Hunt (2014): Bucking Expectations

Led by an incompetent celebrity hunter, the crew of an outdoors television show goes deep into the woods in search of a legendary killer buck. What their search leads them to, however, may be more than any one of them had ever bargained for.

You couldn’t throw a rock without hitting an outdoors television show. Whether it be fishing, buck hunting or some form of survival, cable television is filled to the brim with shows dedicated to the outdoors. Heck, there are even a few television networks that are solely dedicated to such programing, and I am confident that they pull in a pretty strong viewership, too. Where we have seen a number of films dedicated to spoofing reality TV, mostly in the form of game/survival shows, The Last Buck Hunt has the distinct pleasure of being the only (that I am aware of) film that parodies a hunting show.

The television program in question, "Who gives a Buck?", is an extremely popular deer hunting show hosted by the great Kenny Wayne (Zach Gold). Because you can’t always believe what you see on TV, Kenny’s reputation as a great outdoorsman is not nearly what it appears to be on television. In fact, Kenny is unfathomably inept and constantly has to rely on his father – who is a legitimate, award-winning and well-respected outdoorsman – to bail him out of embarrassing situations. Worse yet, Kenny’s lack of ability as a hunter is overshadowed by his incredible arrogance, which likely stems from his deep down knowledge that he is completely useless.

Kenny is followed by a small television crew deep into the woods, where they are shooting a special episode focused on Kenny searching for, and hopefully killing, a dangerous mythological buck. The crew consists of a cameraman named Steve (Cathan Bordyn), a sound girl named Alex (Briana Chicha) and a tracking expert named Remmy (Scott C. Brown), which is, of course, short for Remington. Both Steve and Alex are well aware of what a maladroit Kenny is, but the gig pays well enough to deal with his inability to function as a competent human being. However, when their outdoor adventure takes a deadly turn, the crew must decide what is most important to them: their well-being or cementing their fame by capturing the infamous buck.

Directed by Becky and Nicholas Sayers, The Last Buck Hunt is a follow up to their 2010 micro-budget horror film, Break, which I enjoyed back when I reviewed it. In comparison to Break, what’s immediately notable about The Last Buck Hunt is simply how much Becky and Nick Sayers have grown as filmmakers after only one film. I would attribute a larger budget to having a slight impact on this improvement, but the real growth clearly comes from the filmmakers themselves. Everything from the cinematography, editing, sound, script, and dialogue is impressive, and undoubtedly light years away from what was done only three or four years ago with Break.

Driven by solid performances from the small but talented cast, The Last Buck Hunt is best described as a horror-comedy, but it’s the humor that best defines the film, and undeniably the biggest reason why it works so well. The jokes are funny, there are some good sight gags strewn throughout and the script, which was penned by Becky Sayers, is quite witty. Rarely, if ever, does a joke fall flat, which is more than can be said about 90% of theatrically released comedies.

As far as the horror elements go, you won't find much in terms of “terror” in The Last Buck Hunt until the final act. Even then, however, it's the humor and complete insanity of the situation that drives the finale, not horror, and that is certainly not a mark against the film in any way whatsoever. The Sayers stick with a fairly consistent tone from the film’s start and right up until its final moments, and consistency is the name of the game with The Last Buck Hunt, as from top to bottom it’s a thoroughly entertaining and well-crafted film. 

There is no release date set as of this writing, so in the meantime, you can keep tabs on The Last Buck Hunt by heading over to the website at: The Last Buck Hunt

Halloween: The Musical

I came across this Halloween theme song parody whilst scanning YouTube recently and thought that some of you might get a kick out of it. The whole thing is put together by a comedian named Andrew Goldberg (aka Goldentusk), who basically takes well known movie theme songs and adds lyrics to them. The results are pretty funny (and oddly hypnotic), and the lyrics actually do a good job of telling the story of Halloween in a very condensed way.

Check it out!

Help Support The Last Buck Hunt!

Following their 2010 independent horror flick Break (which I reviewed and enjoyed), filmmakers Nick and Becky "B-Movie" Sayers are looking to make their triumphant return to micro-budget cinema with their newest project, The Last Buck Hunt. In an attempt to make their new film as good as they possibly can, the Sayers have put together a Kickstarter campaign in the hopes that they can raise $5,000 towards their budget for The Last Buck Hunt.

Now, because they are true blue film fans who have a real passion for creating cinema, the Sayers plan on making The Last Buck Hunt regardless of whether or not they actually raise the funds to help finance the film. However, it doesn't hurt to ask, and as someone who truly enjoyed what they were able to do with absolutely nothing when they made Break, I feel confident in pimping out their project to all of you in the hopes you will show them some support. 

Anyway, you probably would like to know what the film is all about, so here is a hysterical promotional video that Nick and Becky put together:

If that promo video didn't sell you then I don't know what will! I added The Last Buck Hunt's Kickstarter widget to my sidebar, and as you can see, they are already 70% funded with 19 days left to go, so let's all please come together as supporters of true independent cinema and get them over the hump and into plus territory!

Leprechaun 3 (1995): A Full House… of Horror!

Well before he ever Crip Walked his green little ass into da 'hood, or took one giant leap for Irish-kind by going up into space, the Leprechaun found himself spreading his particular brand of mayhem in the city of sin, Las Vegas, in 1995's Leprechaun 3: No Hysterical Subtitle to Speak of, Unfortunately.

Directed by Aussie genre-film icon Brian Trenchard-Smith, Leprechaun 3 takes the tiny titular terror, frozen in stone, and places him in a Vegas pawnshop. It isn't long before the pawnshop's owner removes a protective medallion from around the Leprechaun's neck, freeing him from his stone encasement and allowing him yet another chance to wreak havoc on all those who dare touch his precious gold.

"The concentration it takes to look into your eyes right now is incredible"

A great deal of Leprechaun 3's first half is spent with the Leprechaun trying to retrieve a gold shilling the pawn shop owner got his greedy little hands on, but the only thing keeping him from doing so is the power of the magic medallion. However, while the storeowner is protected by the medallion for the time being, I think anyone who knows well enough is aware that our friendly little Leprechaun is one tenacious bastard when it comes to his cherished gold, even when the cards are stacked against him.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Vegas strip, a super sexy magician's assistant named Tammy (Lee Armstrong) runs into some car trouble on her way to work. Luckily for her, an out-of-towner named Scott (John Gatins) comes to her rescue and offers to give Tammy a lift. There is instant chemistry between the two characters, and going against her gut, Tammy allows the under 21 Scott to sneak into the casino, so long as he promises not to do anything stupid like gambling. However, it isn't long before the charmingly naïve Scott cashes in his $23 thousand dollar college tuition, only to lose all of his money to some rigged casino games.

Always bet on black… lipped Leprechauns

Desperate, broke and seeing his future go down the toilet, Scott figures his only solution is to trade in his valuable wristwatch for some cash so he can try to make that big LL come back. And can you guess what happens next? That right, Scott makes his way to a pawnshop so he can pawn off the watch, and it just so happens to be the same pawnshop where the Leprechaun is! What ARE the chances? Well fairly good, I suppose. In any event, Scott avoids a vicious tussle with the Leprechaun after he grabs one of the gold coins and wishes he were back at the casino and on a winning streak. Naturally, Scott's streak of luck cannot last forever, as the Leprechaun is hot on his tail now and forever. And so long as he or anyone else posses the treasured gold, tales of death, murder and destruction will continue to be told.  

Now, when most people think of great gambling movies, generally films such as Casino Royale, Rounders, The Gambler, and Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels are the types of films that would normally come to mind. Of course, while I enjoy all of those films, and many others that fall into the sub-genre, there is no other that can entertain quite like Leprechaun 3: The Wrath of Chaun. Okay, I made up that "Wrath of Chaun" business to punch up the film's title a little; you know, to make it worthy of the film itself. Sorry for being a liar.  

"You mind putting this coin in your slot for safe keeping?"

Anyway, outside of the mildly mediocre leads (though Scott's insanely oversized cargo-vest is a magnificent character in and of itself), the cast is actually quite good, with stand out comedic performances from John DeMita as Fazio, an inept magician, and Caroline "Stretch" Williams as Loretta, a past her prime, greedy casino employee. But while there is a copious amount of hilarity found from those two bumbling characters, as well as a few others, it's the humor that comes from the film's main attraction, the Leprechaun, that really delivers the laughs in spades. As he has done throughout much of the series, the great Warwick Davis deals out numerous memorable moments as the Leprechaun. For example, seeing Lep interact with an Elvis impersonator is incredible on its own, but seeing him do a fucking full-on Elvis imitation, complete with swinging hips and all, is one of the greatest things I have ever seen.

Leprechaun 3 is the type of movie that does exactly what it sets out to do, and that is deliver a few laughs, a few kills and some pure, unadulterated amusement. From Lep's ability to spit the sickest rhymes on the block, to the inventive, Vegas inspired death scenes, you know that Brian Trenchard-Smith and co. went all in when making this straight-to-video sequel, and as a result, Leprechaun 3 truly hits the B-Movie jackpot.

George: A ZZZZZZombie Intervention (2011)

What is essentially a pairing of A&E's Emmy award winning series, Intervention (which usually finds a way to make me feel somewhat better about my addiction to Charleston Chew candy bars) and the zombie subgenre, George: A Zombie Intervention (2011) takes two overplayed genre conventions, zombies and humor, and injects them with a fresh idea that doesn't necessarily equal a winning combination.

The premise is fairly simple, showcasing zombies as people who are, as per usual, dead and enjoy the sweet, succulent taste of human flesh. However, they are also able to function as normal human beings and are accepted members of society, but there is the rare occurrence of a zombie going on a human flesh binge, which is the case with this film's titular character, George. Seeing his problem as a form of addiction, George's friends get together to intervene, giving him the ultimatum of going to rehab or losing them as friends. As you would see in any given episode of Intervention, George doesn't believe he has an eating humans problem and becomes standoffish to the idea of rehab. However, as the night grows long and more people begin to show up - and even more begin to mysteriously die - George must eventually face his demons.     

The zombie subgenre, or, more specifically the zombie/comedy subgenre, has become so over saturated that there is barely even the smallest sign of a fresh idea in what is produced nowadays. Naturally, there are still a few that shine through; films that are able to take a tired genre staple, inject a fresh idea into it and deliver something fun and refreshing, even in an overly submerged market. Director J.T. Seaton, who co-wrote the film with Brad Hodson, had what was initially a great idea, but it's how that idea was executed that holds George: A Zombie Intervention (aka George's Intervention) back. 

Where George: A Zombie Intervention falls flat is in how unnecessarily over-the-top silly it tries to be, which results in the film feeling like an overlong comedy skit that simply overstays its welcome. The concept is already funny, but to go so overboard takes away from the humor that comes naturally from the initial idea. A perfect film that I could compare George to is 2006's Fido, a zombie film with a hysterical concept but a subtle, stick to your guns execution. The humor in Fido was tongue in cheek, subdued and sharp, and it is those aspects that made that film a joy to watch. George: A Zombie Intervention pushes the matter too far and it affects the film's overall appeal. There are some very funny moments, but most of the more successful comedic moments come from subtlety as opposed to the times when full-on humor was being attempted. The comedic tonal changes and ideas are confused and tedious, leaving the film to be scatterbrained and, more importantly, left this viewer with a slightly bored taste in his mouth.

Regardless of the film's major comedic flaw, George: A Zombie Intervention is not a terrible movie in regards to the filmmaking and acting. For a low-budget movie, the film looks good enough quality wise. Most of the performances are decent, with Carlos Larkin given the standout performance as George. It was also nice to see genre actress Lynn Lowry (I Drink Your Blood, The Crazies) in the film, as she does a commendable comedic job playing a half-assed interventionist hired to help George with his problem. In addition, the budget make-up effects are very good and the film does deliver a few fun gore moments that should be best appreciated by genre fans of my generation. 

I wish I had more positive things to say about this film, but so much of it hinges on the humor. Sadly, much of the humor simply did not work for me. I am incredibly picky (and cynical) when it comes to my comedy, and I generally do not find much of what the mainstream considers to be funny all that humorous, so maybe the humor might work for you. I wouldn't want to necessarily discourage people from giving George: A Zombie Intervention a shot because it's not a terrible film, I just didn't find it to be a very funny one.

Salute Your Shorts: The Code (2011)

Directed by Mark Blitch, The Code is a horror comedy short film that was specifically created to compete in the 2011 Splatterfest Festival in Houston, TX where it went on to win an impressive 11 awards. Written by Jason Walter Vaile and Alan Tregoning and featuring Tamara Voss, Taylor Brandt and Todd Terry, the just under 6 minute short is a look at the importance of communication in an internet savvy world.

Outside of telling you I think The Code features a funny idea that is well executed (especially in the first half), reviewing a horror comedy such as this would be somewhat pointless. I wouldn't want to simply repeat jokes I think are funny, though, I will mention that Chad's laugh is pure gold.

It's good stuff, so take a break from your hard partying and have good laugh!

The Loved Ones: Finger-Lickin' Good

After losing his father in a car wreck in which he was driving, Brent has been going through immense growing pains trying to deal with his dad's passing. Without a clear clue as to how to handle the pain that comes with such a loss, Brent (Xavier Samuel) has become slightly rebellious, resorting to self-inflicted physical pain to try and help cope with the hurt that he feels emotionally. Brent is a shell of what he once was, however, his relationship with his girlfriend, Holly (Victoria Thaine), is strong, and she would seem to be the best medicine for the infinite sadness that surrounds him. As bad as things have been for Brent, things aren't looking to get any better as an admirer named Lola (Robin McLeavy) asks Brent to the prom, an offer that Brent respectfully declines seeing as he is going with Holly. Not one to take no for an answer, Lola has Brent kidnapped so they can enjoy their own personal prom at her home, complete with disco ball and her father (John Brumpton) playing chaperone.   

Now, imagine if the Letherface clan from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 impregnated Annie Wilkes, then nine-months later she had a wittle baby girl and named her Carrie. Well, that's kind of the best way to describe The Loved Ones. The first feature film from writer/director, Sean Byrne, The Loved Ones is an Australian horror film with a wicked black sense of humor set primarily in one location. That location being a kitchen, living room, and dinning room combo made up to look like a prom only a psycho could appreciate. And psycho is no less than the perfect descriptive for a girl such as Lola, a twisted young lady that is not portrayed as a complete loser but more of a nobody, or at least somebody that really doesn't matter in the big scheme of high school.

As opposed to many lonely losers in high school set horror films, Lola is never shown getting picked on or belittled by her classmates. The only time she is really seen before her homemade promenade is when she actually asks Brent to the dance. While it's clear that she's not really the type of girl anyone wants to chill with on a hook-up level, Lola's not completely pathetic looking, either; she's just plain. Her motives for kidnapping Brent have nothing to do with revenge nor is there any need to fill a void left by being unwanted. It's much deeper than that as she has issues that delve well into a world of delusion as she has a need to control the people around her. Specifically with the relationship she shares with her father, which is one that floats an incestuous line where her domination is one part sexuality and another part daddy's little girl.

It's all quite sick and deranged, but as much as this film is twisted, The Loved Ones is filled with humor that is so dark, you might want to watch with a flashlight handy. A lot of where the humor stems from is due to a wonderfully sadistic and decadently mad performance put forth by Robin McLeavy as Lola. The Loved Ones is quite simply a perfect example of a black horror comedy, and the balance of the horror and humor in the film exactly mirror that of the character of Lola. Here is a movie that is funny enough, it's brutal enough, it's serious enough and all without any one of those individual elements being too overbearing. The comedic elements never take away from the horror of the situation, which is very important because there is a level of emotion brought to the table with some of the characters, something else that's never played off too heavily, either.     

As I mentioned, Lola is not portrayed as a complete waste, in the same token, Brent is not shown in a light that is negative, either. He's not the bully that you actually want to see get his just desert, instead, he is a pretty sad kid that is easy to feel sorry for, thus making him truly the victim in this situation. Brent is actually one of the few cinematic rebellious teens that doesn't completely irritate me, which is rare with most films of this nature. A lot of that has to do with Brent being someone that Byrne clearly wrote in a manner that respects the character and doesn't feel completely disconnected from the teenager as a real life entity. This is an area that can really hurt a film such as The Loved Ones, so it's nice to have characters that, while not breaking any boundaries, are well realized.

Spending much of the time in one location, The Loved Ones never overstays its welcome as things move along fairly quickly without too many lulls. Things are broken up with minute story lines following Brent's mother, as well as Holly, both of whom are clearly concerned for his well-being (which is only compounded by Brent's slightly suicidal state of mind). Another tool that is used to break up what could be the monotony of a long torturous dinner table scene is a side story focusing on Brent's pal, Jamie (Richard Wilson), who is on a date with the hot Goth chick, Mia (Jessica McNamee). The time spent with these two characters seemingly has nothing to do with the film's core, yet, it is all handled in a way where it doesn't feel boring and works to break things up unobtrusively. Furthermore, even if it seems there is no connection to the main story, there is a pretty heavy reveal that puts a small emotional punch behind Mia's rebellious motivations as well as something that connects her to the main plot.

The Loved Ones is not the most original picture to have ever been put to celluloid, but what's in place works and works wonderfully for the type of film that it is. It's not always an easy task balancing horror and comedy (let alone black comedy), but Sean Byrne has certainly come out swinging with this one, and I believe a lot of that has to do with him showing respect for both the genre as well as its fans.

Black Belt Jones: Man, You Come Right Out of A Comic Book

Pitting a karate school against the mob, Black Belt Jones is the classic tale of the big guy bullying the little guy, all in the name of greed. In this case, it's the mob forcing their lower-level "associates," Pinky and his gang of thugs, to push out a local karate school so they can profit off a future land redevelopment. When Pinky and his boys go a little too far with their pushing and the karate school's owner is accidentally killed, one time student turned government agent, Black Belt Jones gets involved. And boy is he someone that you do not want to get involved with. Unless you're a lady, that is.    

Taking full advantage of the popularity of Blaxploitation movies, as well as the boom in Martial Art's films, 1974's Black Belt Jones is a culmination of its own era's popular genre cinema. The film stars the great Jim "the Dragon" Kelly, who, hot off of 1973's Enter the Dragon, was the perfect person to center a film that would take from both the popularity of Enter the Dragon, as well as his own character in that film, Williams, who was a representation of Blaxploitation cinema meant to reach a larger demographic. So, there you have it, the circle of cinematic life thanks to Black Belt Jones and Enter the Dragon.  

Black Belt Jones' connection to Enter the Dragon goes further as both films share the same director, Robert Clouse, who, besides directing both Kelly and Bruce Lee, has also directed Jackie Chan in The Big Brawl, and even the first few Cynthia Rothrock China O'Brien films. So he certainly has some solid action genre cred under his (black) belt, but I wouldn't say that Black Belt Jones is anything to marvel at on a serious action level. It's all pretty standard over-the-top stuff that places a much larger focus on fun than it does realistic hard-hitting action.    

There's a certain charm filled swagger that Black Belt Jones carries, which comes from the character, as well as the film and how it presents itself. It's very light and goofy and avoids some of the darker trappings that would be found in many Blaxploitation films. The racism level in the movie is very low, to the point where even the police officers seem to be smitten by just how cool Jones is, as opposed to being of the oppressive variety. Even the incredibly stereotypical Italian mobsters, who are the film's main antagonists, are silly (outside of the intimidating Mel Novak) in an almost parodic way. I love me a dark grimy Exploitation film, but it's nice to have one that isn't just mean spirited for the sake of exploitation.

What makes Black Belt Jones such an enjoyable ride is how much fun everyone seems to be having in the film. The interactions between certain characters are quite delightful and a lot of that has to do with Kelly's presence. He has such a great look, with that huge afro standing on top of his tall, lanky frame with that sullen look on his face. A sullen look that, in a heartbeat, can switch to the most natural and charismatic of smiles. He might not be the best actor on the block, but he can do what needs to be done physically, he has charm and, most importantly, a great presence.

Some might point to the movie as being a "so bad it's good" type of film, but I believe that people confuse the purposeful humor with cheese-lathered incompetence. Black Belt Jones is exactly what it was meant to be, fun. Black Belt Jones is supposed to be a good time, and it shows in scenes where the karate school students (in complete karate gi uniform, of course) are seen doing synchronized martial art's moves at a funeral. Or, having Gloria Hendry run around open handed karate chopping bad dudes, yelling HI-YA!, like it's no one's business. Moreover, how serious is any film trying to be when they cast Scatman Crothers as a karate master?!

Black Belt Jones is a film that, in a way, has an innocence about it and could play perfectly to most any crowd that's open to having a good time. In that sense, it reminds me a lot of 1985's The Last Dragon with its tone, its sense of humor, and comic book feel. Not to say that Black Belt Jones is as wonderful as The Last Dragon, but it hits the right notes and stands on its own as a different type of Blaxploitation film. From the moment Dennis Coffey's wonderful main theme song funks up your ear drums; down to the bubble bath final fight at the carwash, you are sure to be smiling throughout much of Black Belt Jones.

The Lady Vanishes: Right Into My Heart

While I've seen varying touches of subtle humor in some of his films, I have never watched any of director Alfred Hitchcock's flat out comedies. I never really thought about seeking one out either, but it would turn out that the sip I took from 1938's, The Lady Vanishes, tasted a whole lot more like a comedy than it did the thriller that the Netflix description was trying to sell me. Sometimes when you think you're taking a drink of one thing, not knowing it's actually something completely different, the taste can be almost souring. Even if the drink is something you really like, it doesn't matter. You expected something else and your taste bud's equilibrium is simply thrown off, leaving you with a "who farted?" face.

This was not the case with The Lady Vanishes, in fact, I found that my first sip turned into a full fledged chug-chug-chug, and before I knew it, I was drunk with glee. The structure of the movie (based on the 1936 novel, The Wheel Spins, by Ethel Lina White.) does work as that of a thriller, with a group of travelers that find themselves spending the night in a hotel as they wait out the terrible storm that has halted their train for the time being. While spending the night, the many characters are introduced with the main character being that of Iris (Margaret Lockwood), a young women who becomes acquainted with an elderly governess named Miss Froy (Dame May Whitty).

During the overnight hotel stay is where a bulk of characters are introduced, with many of them playing minute yet important parts that work almost as red herrings in a way. All of the characters are interesting and many have a quirkiness about them that adds an air of eccentric fun to the film as a whole (most notably and for a number of reasons are the characters of Charters and Caldicott). It's not even clear as to who the film will focus on until the travellers are all back on the train and Miss Froy goes missing. The only person who notices this is Iris, but when she begins to investigate, no one on the train seems to know - or wants to admit knowing, for whatever reasons - who Iris is talking about.

That's really the basic idea of the film, and while there are many little twists, turns and mysteries to be discovered with many of the individuals on board, The Lady Vanishes uses this plot of suspense and intrigue to do so much more than what it would seem to be at face value. As I said, the movie is very much a comedy, one that is driven by an ensemble cast for the first act. However, the film changes its focus after the incident happens and that is when most of the time is spent with Iris and, another acquaintance she made while at the hotel, Gilbert (Michael Redgrave), whom helps her try to unlock the mystery of the missing women.

Doing a little backtracking to give some background on Gilbert and Iris, their first encounter is not the most positive one as Iris tries to have Gilbert kicked out of his hotel room for making too much noise playing music in the room above hers (in an oddly hysterical scene), thus keeping her from a good night's rest. After the hotel manager asks him to leave his room, Gilbert promptly comes down to Iris' room and informs her that since she had him removed from his room, then he will be staying with her for the evening. His brashness and overconfidence in the situation only infuriates Iris, but it does so to the point to where Gilbert gets what he wants, which is his own room back.

Even as initial adversaries, the minute both Iris and Gilbert are on screen together, it is clear that there is an incredible connection between the two, whether or not Iris would knowingly want to acknowledge it at first. This is a relationship that builds and becomes stronger when an obviously smitten Gilbert helps out a distraught (and equally enamored) Iris in her search for Miss Froy. Redgrave and Lockwood are simply delightful on screen together, and watching them fall for one another is truly where The Lady Vanishes succeeds the most. There are many scenes where the two play sleuth, and their interactions make for a handful of nice, genuine moments that also work as a solid way to break up the tension and the seriousness of core the story.

For a film that does come off as a comedy with the structure of a thriller, it is a little on the ridiculous side as far as the story goes, as well as where it ends up towards the movie's back end. Things get a little too serious for the contrasting moments of humor, and for that the movie is slightly conflicted, but none of that is as important as it should be due to the film's other strengths. One of them being the brilliant techniques that Hitchcock uses from time-to-time. Now, this is a movie from way back in 1938 (dude, shit's in black and white, even), and was one of the final films that the director made before making the big move to Hollywood, but it is clear that he had an incredible eye for cinema even way back then. There are some brilliant shots and a great use of perspective spread throughout, but most impressive is a quick action shot with Gilbert outside of the moving train, that is simply quite awesome.

Nevertheless, even with these fine cinematic aspects, there is a lot of sloppiness in the movie on a technical level, and it's hard to say if it's the fault of Hitchcock or the film's editor, R.E. Dearing. There are times where the confinement of a train is well portrayed, but that also leads to a handful of moments that feel very confused and a lack of flow between shots become very present. One scene that immediately comes to mind is when Gilbert and Iris are in the cargo hold, where they run into a magician that seems to be up to no good, and a fight between the three ensues. It's extremely poor in how cohesive it is visually, but what's kind of funny about this lamely filmed moment is it's one of my favorite portions of the film due to Redgrave, Lockwood and their interactions up to, during, and after the fight (as well as the comicality of the scene). That's truly a testament as to how fantastic the two are together.  

Love this photo!

Hitchcock has successfully used touches of humor to break up the tension in many of his films but The Lady Vanishes is really where I found myself chuckling throughout much of the runtime. The mystery and suspense are a second thought when I think about why I enjoyed this film so much, and it is that pure comedy that can really only be found in classic cinema that won me over. More so, the pairing of Lockwood and Redgrave will prove to be one of my favorites as far as a romantic storyline goes, and for a movie to give me characters that I can fall in love with as they fall in love with each other, is truly a surprise that I never expected when I sat down with this cold glass of mystery.  

Santa With Muscles: It's like Robocop 3….With Muscles

Well before Bill Goldberg stepped foot in a sleigh with 2005's Santa's Slay, it was 1996 that gave us the original buff Santa with the 1996 Hulk Hogan family/action/comedy/drama/tentacle porn vehicle, Santa With Muscles. Directed by John Murlowski (who has directed at least four Christmas films, a movie called Cop Dog and an Amityville sequel), Santa With Muscles has the distinct honor of being in the bottom 100 on IMDB, which calls to me as much as the top 100 films do. And what doesn't speak to me more than a Christmas film from the 90s staring Terry "Hulk" Hogan as a jacked up Santa that's trying to help save an orphanage? How about you add in Clint Howard as a bumbling cop, Garrett Morris as, well, as no one that was really worth the time, sadly, and Ed Begley Jr. as the film's villain, and you have yourself the perfect recipe for a merry good time.

In the first five minutes of Santa With Muscles, things start out with a serious bang as the viewer is introduced to Blake, while engaged in a hand-to-hand battle with a gardener whom he tells "never stop to smell the roses" after kicking his ass. Next, Blake goes on to fight a chef, a chauffeur and then the gardener again, who attacks Blake with a weed whacker that does very little against Blake's serving platter shield. Seriously, I was pumped harder than a Jersey Shore fist as this was going down. As it turns out, this was all just the daily workout regimen of fitness guru, Blake Thorne, a rich kid that became even richer (and greedier) as he grew older and more successful. The only things that matter to Blake are his physique, money, himself and having fun, despite the rules.

It's Blake's reckless/careless attitude that creates a run in with the law, namely Clint Howard, who's character Hinkley proves that competency is not an attribute found in B-Movie police officers. Blake takes refuge in a mall, disguising himself as a mall Santa, but his costume doesn't fool Hinkley and before you can say HO-HO-H…Blake takes a shitter down a trash chute, getting knocked the fuck out in the process. Can you guess what happens next? That's right, Blake has amnesia and it just so happens that there is a down on his luck mall elf named Lenny (Don Stark) that was offered a fifty spot to find Santa before all the kids waiting to see him go into anarchy mode. You see, Lenny is in deep with a bookie, and when he finds an unconscious Blake he sees an opportunity to get to his money by fooling him into believing that he is indeed, Santa Clause. With Muscles. And blond hair. And a golden tan. And  daughter named Brooke.

This newborn Santa discovers his path as he is attempting to play mall Santa, when a group of punks try to steal donation money from a local charity. They are noticed by a young bystander who yells for help, and the golden look of "someone's getting their ass kicked in!" that comes across Blake's face is quite priceless. Needless to say, there is an ass whopping of deserving proportions that pumps up all the bystanders and the children. Santa is a hero. But his heroic efforts are not yet finished as he realizes that the orphanage that the charity was for needed his help. He wasn't sure why he knew this but he did (it was in the script) and with a reluctant Lenny in tow, off he went to save the orphans!  As it surprisingly turns out, the orphanage did need Santa's help as the threat of being shut down by a germaphobic mad scientist named Ebner Frost (Ed Begley, Jr.) was lurking ever so closely.   

Now, mad or not, why would anyone want to shut down an orphanage? I mean, I guess if you really hate Annie you might want to, but otherwise I see no point. Well, that is unless there's a secret cavern underneath said orphanage. A secret cavern containing some incredibly rare and priceless rocks, the kind that sparkle and illuminate but also have the tendency to explode. Thankfully one of the orphans (played by a pre-hot Mila Kunis) learned about them in school and has the perfect memory to be able to tell the adults exactly what they were and what exactly causes them to blow-up. This was actually a place where the kids hung around from time-to-time, and the fact that there was a cavern under the orphanage where the kids would hang out, but the people who took care of those kids never once thought about checking it out, is kind of odd. I mean, those kids are orphans and all, meaning, they could be doing all sorts of bad shit down there - like making meth and babies - and no one would be the wiser. Great job, adults.

So for much of the film it's Blake in a modded Santa suite vs Ebner Frost and his baddies, filled with heart warming interactions with a bunch of kids that are only a little lame. And of course, there is plenty of over-the-top action to be found. I mean, I never thought I would see a cop try and use a bazooka to take down a criminal that would be facing no more than a reckless endangerment charge. In fact, isn't using a bazooka in public considered reckless endangerment? I also never thought I would see Blake Thorne's low-fat brand of salad dressing used as an oil slick to send a police car off its course. The action isn't the only aspect where Santa With Muscles shows up with a sack full of joy. I actually heard one of the orphans use the line: "see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" And of course, everyone laughs and cheers about it. It's amazing. But not as amazing as the moment where the little girl sings actual magic in the church. If I could describe it, I would, but I dare not embarrass myself by trying. Just trust me on this one.

I don't think I've even come close to giving this film its due justice with this review. I only feel as if I barely touched the surface of what makes Santa With Muscles a romp worthy of at least one night of laughter every holiday season, but trust me, this is some cherishable crap. Any film where a bad guy uses an oversized candy cane as a bo staff has a piece of my heart. It's gold. Fucking silver and gold.

Arnold's Friday Night Dance Party! Going Commando Edition!

Thanks to a holiday Thursday resulting in an odd day off from work, I'm sowing up to the party a little late tonight due to a complete lack of, well, memory. Yeah, I forgot, but that's what happens when you play Man vs Food: Home Edition three times in a day with the stereotypical American Thanksgiving meal. It tends to take a little out of ya. Either way, what matters is I'm here now, and with me I have brought some serious gold to share with you all.

I actually saw this video posted on someone's Facebook fairly recently, and I instantly knew that I had to use it here, on Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party, at some point. As the video's title would suggest, it's a musical version of one of my favorite action films of all time, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Commando! Why don't I stop with the yapping already and let you enjoy the greatness that is, Jenny and Me.

 

2LDK: Catty-Shack

I've had a fair share of roommates in my life, and I believe that anyone that has ever lived with someone else (even good friends or family) knows it can be difficult to do at times, especially when your roommate and yourself are completely different from one another. 2002's 2LDK (which is Japanese apartment lingo for two bedrooms with a combined living room, dining room and kitchen area, not the name of some hot new boy-band. I know, too bad.) takes a very close look at Nozomi and Rana (Eiko Koike and Maho Nonami), two roommates who are from opposite ends of the Earth when it comes to personality, upbringing and how they carry themselves socially. 

Nozomi is a bit of a prissy little miss goody two shoes, while Rana is more of bad girl with a skankier edge to her. Both women have one thing in common, though, which is each of them are aspiring actresses, and the only reason they even live together in the first place is due to their agency putting them up for free in the same gorgeous apartment. While there is no mention as to how long they have lived together, it would seem as if it hasn't been very long, but it's been long enough for them to find those little annoyances with one another. Annoyances that can build up over time.

Early on it is learned that Nozomi and Rana are both vying for the same career changing part in a major movie, Yakuza Wives. Everything start off casually, with their conversation being  somewhat cordial on the surface, but what each girl is thinking is done so with a hysterically rude voice over so the audience can hear just what their thoughts actually are. Almost as if they are having a mental and verbal conversation. Even with the faux kind exterior, they speak to each other with this passive-aggressive tone making it obvious that they both dislike one another, they just refrain from saying it aloud. At first.

As the two females interact with one another, their discontent slowly bubbles to the surface throughout the span of the evening. Little conflicts arise, jabs are thrown, jealously begins to cut deeper - especially with both hoping to land the same film role – and the pleasant filter quickly begins to dissipate. Eventually, things start to spiral out of control as one little thing like used shampoo without asking turns into all out chaos over the scant 70-minute runtime. In this short amount of time, these two girls do to one another what many a roommate would love to do to their respective space sharer (and then some), or to any one that you cannot stand but are forced to deal with on a regular basis. I'll keep the details to myself as to not ruin any of the fun.

Directed by Yukihiko Tsutsumi, 2LDK is a part of the Duel Project, in which producer Shinya Kawai challenged both Tsutsumi and director Ryuhei Kitamura (whose respective half of the project is titled Aragami) to see who can direct a better feature length film using only one set, minimal characters and all of it being done within a week’s time. The common theme of both films: A battle (or Duel) to the death, naturally.

Now, this is an idea that can breed creativity in the face of difficulty, forcing established directors to use their imaginations to overcome the extreme limitations. This is a challenge that must be risen to for egotistical as well as personal artistic reasons, and Tsutsumi certainly does so with 2LDK. This film is the definition of entertainment, a film that skewers human dynamics, specifically those of incredibly sensitive and spiteful women (the BEST kind!), and it is done in a way that it is just simply hysterical at times. Much of  the interactions between Nozomi and Rana are funny because they are true. Well, true to a point, of course, as the film does go from 0-60 mph with 60 being somewhat over-the-top in true Japanese form. However, by that point in the movie, over-the-top is the only way to go.

Both actresses are fantastic, playing off each other perfectly, almost like a demented version of Felix Ungar and Oscar Madison. They are forced to physically face one another in a slew of ways, and both handle it quite well, but the bread and butter is the lead up to the eruption of anarchy. Watching these two go at it in the snarkiest of ways is simply enjoyable. No matter how well made the film is, especially considering the limitations, it is the actresses and how their character's interact with each other - as well as the quirky but darkly spot on sense of humor - that make 2LDK one of the most enjoyable films I have seen in a while.