Sunday, September 28, 2014

Halloween Happenings: Drunken Pig

As many of you are well aware, the Halloween season is well underway. In fact, it’s impossible not to notice if you’ve stepped foot into any type of store over the past month or so. As is the case with every Halloween season, I am gourds-deep in everything orange and black, and I thought it would be nice to share with all three of you just what I’ve been up to in the days leading to…


Halloween 2014 3

If you’ve been a long-time reader of CNAMB, then you should be familiar with Bolo, the mighty gourd plant that I started growing some years back. This season Bolo came on STRONG and grew so large that things got a little scary for a minute.

Unfortunately, however, Bolo fell ill, and do to his size it was tough/expensive keeping him healthy. As a result, Bolo kicked the bucket pretty early this season, but not before giving us a handful of new gourds to decorate our crack house with.

What’s interesting is that each year Bolo gives us vastly different looking gourds, and this year was no different. This is specific to the five oddly shaped gourds that were best described by a friend as vaginal, something that might come in handy one of these lonely nights.

Halloween 2014 4

As is the case every year, I am spending my days of darkness enjoying as many seasonal beers as possible. After coming across this shrine erected by the mighty Kroger, I knew the season had officially begun!

Below are but a few of the many Fall/Pumpkin beers I’ve been enjoying…

Halloween 2014 5

Halloween 2014 13

And of course, no Halloween season would be complete without me ingesting a ton of Halloween influenced junk food. I am a complete sucker for Halloween packaging, something I am only slightly ashamed of, and I have been doing nothing more than adding to my potential for developing diabetes.

Here’s a sample of my inability to control myself…

Halloween 2014 10

Halloween 2014 11

Halloween 2014 6

Normally by this time of year, I would have most of my Halloween decorating done. However, the days leading up to the month of madness have been overtaken by something other than Halloween. Specifically the fact that my mail-order bride and I have a child on the way, which I think is an acceptable reason to not get a lot of Halloween decorating done. 


What’s sort of fitting about this whole baby thing is the fact that she (as in a girl!) is due on November 4th, which is obviously right around Halloween. What are the chances, right?! Anyway, I have my claws crossed that our daughter will be born on Halloween day, but outside of black magic, I have very little control over that whole thing.

In any event, my mail-order in-laws were awesome enough to throw my mail-order bride a baby shower, and seeing as she is due right around Halloween, Halloween was indeed the theme for the baby shower.

Below are a few photos of the decorating they did, which I think came out pretty darned fantastic!

Halloween 2014

Halloween 2014 7

That about does it for now, kiddies. Hope you enjoyed this in-depth look into all the Halloween Happenings I have been enjoying over the past month or so. Now I have to get my rock-hard ass in gear and start setting up for Chucktober, so soon thou shall see you!


  1. I look forward to your Chucktober stuff every year! I can't wait to see what you got lined up!

    1. Thanks man! I think I've put a good one together!

  2. Congrats on the upcoming kid, Matt! The timing is just too ghoul... I mean, cool. Looking forward to another great year of CHUCKTOBER madness.

    1. Thanks a bunch! I am looking forward to creating a strange kid of my own!!

  3. Wow, congratulations! Hey, if she arrives a day late, Guy Fawkes Day as a birthday wouldn't be bad either.

    1. Ha ha, that would be pretty cool, too! Thanks for the congrats!!


Most Popular Posts

Chuck Norris Ate My Baby is in no way endorsed by or affiliated with Chuck Norris the Actor.