Previously on Goosebumps at 33...
A new Chucktober brings about a brand spanking new season of Goosebumps at 33! This is the fourth year (!) doing this segment, which is as cool as it is depressing. I mean, what’s worse than reminding yourself that you’re getting old? Anyway, if you’re not familiar with this segment, take a second to read the introductory post from way back when. For the rest of you, however, why don’t you come in a little closer and allow me to tell you the wicked tale of...
The Girl Who Cried Monster!
Taken from the eighth book, this season 1 episode 4 entry into the series focuses on a young girl named Lucy (Deborah Scorsone). Lucy has an obsession with monsters. She also has a knack for pulling monster inspired pranks on her friends and family members, specifically her little brother, whose hair is so big that he will likely serve as the safety net if an asteroid ever comes hurtling towards earth. After she convinces her big-haired little brother that her toes have been chewed off by a toe biting monster, Lucy’s mother makes her go to the library to expel her energy on learning as opposed to be a pain in the ass.
On her way home from the library, and just as Lucy and her buddy are making fun of the weird librarian, Lucy realizes that she forgot, and I quote, her “blades” back at the library. I’m not sure how a person forgets their “blades,” though. That’s like leaving the mall only to realize you forgot your car, but I digress. When Lucy goes back to the library, she soon learns that the librarian, Mr. Mortman (Eugene Lipinski), is a monster living on a steady diet of crickets and spiders. Gross.
Naturally, Lucy runs home to tell her family and friends, but as the title of this episode alludes to, no one believes Lucy because she is, so often, a lying sack of shit who’s always trying to trick people with tales of monsters. As a result, it is up to Lucy to prove her story, and to do so she actually goes back to the library to catch Mr. Mortman in the act.
Of course, as stupid as it may seem to try to catch a monster in the act of being a monster, Lucy further shows a complete lack of intelligence when she actually tries to take a photo of Mr. Mortman as a monster WITH THE FLASH ON! Unsurprisingly, the flash from the camera alerts Mr. Mortman to Lucy’s presence so he chases after her. This actually leads to a pretty great line where, as Lucy flees, Mr. Mortman says: “I love fast food!” Lucy gets away, however, now Mr. Mortman is on to her and looks to keep her quite by sending her on a permanent vacation. To his belly.
Unfortunately for Lucy, her photographic evidence shows absolutely nothing, therefore no one is buying into her story, including her parents who, despite Lucy’s every plea, decide it would be a good idea to invite Mr. Mortman over for dinner. Will Lucy and her family find themselves served up as monster meat, or will they enjoy a nice dinner with great evening of conversation? You think you might know the answer, but as with every Goosebumps tale, there is a twist, and this one is an absolute doozy in just how awesome it is.
The Girl Who Cried Monster is one of my favorite episodes that I’ve seen thus far. The story is satisfying, spooky and fun, and all in a way that one would expect and want from an episode of Goosebumps. Better yet, it is certainly one hell of a great way to start off my fourth year with Goosebumps at 33!
Until next time, kiddies, keep your night light on and your head under the covers...