Sunday, October 31, 2010

Freddy's Halloween Dance Party!: The Midnight Hour of Power Edition!


The time is finally here, tonight is the night where everyone can be a little more evil than they normally are, a night where all hell is free to reign its sinful ways through the most innocent of people. This is the night where the freaks DO come out, and they come out in droves to dance and celebrate with pizzazz. This is a night when even the hideous can cover up and become attractive, a night where the beautiful can disfigure themselves and become frightening, a night where we can all become something other than what we are. It's All Hallow's Eve, or, All Hallow's Evil if you are looking to have a little fun with things, and that's what we are here to do tonight in this special Halloween edition of Freddy's (not quite) Friday Night Dance Party! 

Tonight's special dance of the dead is brought to us by the 1985 made for television Halloween treat, The Midnight Hour. The song, Get Dead (which is often mistakenly referred to as I'm Dead, You're Dying), is performed by one of the film's stars, Shari Belafonte-Harper, who would also be the sassy little vixen giving us this fantastical performance we have here.

While I do own what I believe is an unopened VHS copy of The Midnight Hour (it's in one of many boxes of VHS tapes I have), I have not seen it since it played on television in the 80s. It's clearly a fun film based off of this clip, and I remember it being so, but I also recall it being pretty scary for a made for TV movie that played on ABC, particular the graveyard scene where the creatures rise from their graves. I know Anchor Bay released the movie on DVD some time after the VHS had come out in '99, but The Midnight Hour seems to be pretty rare and just as under known, or at least under mentioned. It's a shame that it isn't played on TV every year during Halloween, but I think I may have to do a little digging to see if I can find it and take another long overdue look at it.

Either way, I hope you all are having a great Halloween, and I hope the spooky filled day has spilt over into an equally spooky night with plenty of haunts to remind you why Halloween is truly the best time of the year! 


The Halloween Hangover


Well, it's Halloween, and as I was putting together all the films that would have been featured on this special Halloween edition of The Horror Hangover, I realized that there are so many movies to be seen that I wouldn't be able to do more than simply list them. There are a shit ton of movies and Halloween related marathons of all sorts showing on TV today, which is to be expected, so I thought why don't I make this Hangover a special one and pick only a handful of films that I think that everyone should watch today, if you already haven't made movie plans, that is.

First up, AMC has really stepped it up this season with a much stronger and more diverse line-up of horror movies than they have in years. Often criticized for only showing the 4th and 5th Halloween films constantly, this Halloween AMC has a Halloween (the film series) marathon with the crowing jewel being Halloween III: Season of the Witch, which is on at noon. The reason for my pick of this underappreciated gem is because I have always loved it, even before it was kinda cool to say so, but more so because it's never on TV. Out of all the Halloween films that get major airplay at this time of year, Season of the Witch is always left behind, standing there with an empty trick or treat bag, all sad looking. How can you turn down such a sweat little maggot ridden face?

My next pick for the day comes later on when Turner Classic Movies waxes that ass with a 6:15 showing of House of Wax. You know, it would do you no wrong to just leave TCM on all day long if you ask me, but I specifically love the original remake House of Wax quite a bit and you know it will look as nice as it can on TCM. And really, what's better than the dramatics of the great Vincent Price? 


Now, while I would consider sitting through Carpenter's Halloween, or Romero's Night of the Living Dead the smart way to go on Halloween, films like that are all just a little too obvious. Instead, I will make my third pick a fun one and go with the sequel to last year's mega-hit, My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen 2, showing at 6:00. To be honest, I only watched a few moments of the first film (but I still really wanna see it!), but whenever I saw the trailer for this (la)M(e)TV production, I must admit, I got kind of stoked. I'm a stickler for a bad Slasher, and for whatever odd reason, I think MSPSS2 looks like it could be a fun one.


Last but certainly not least, we head back to AMC for the television event of the decade, the 10:00 premier of The Walking Dead, with a replay at 11:30. I mean, do I really need to say why this is a pick? You were planning on watching it anyway, but how could I not list it? Why are there so many questions? Why are my pants not on?


Hey, don't go too far as tonight brings forth a brand new Halloween episode of the hottest dance show on television, Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party! I know it's not Friday, but bear with me here. Sea-ya-then, pumpkin punchers!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Goosebumps At 33 Season Finale!: Don't Go to Sleep


Don't Go To Sleep

Matt Amsterdam is frustrated.  He's 12-years-old and no one shows him the respect that he has earned over his long and fruitful lifetime. He's treated like a child, like he is a lesser to his older siblings, both of whom get whatever they desire, while Matt pretty much gets the shaft. Matt soon realizes that life just isn't fair, that the world doesn't revolve around him the way it does his older brother and sister, and Matt figures out one of life's biggest truths, reality bites the big one.
don'tgotosleep (2)After being told he cannot sleep in the attic, Matt decides he needs to take action and break free from these chains that have held him so tightly for all these years. He's had enough of this tyranny and has been held back by "The Man" (aka Mom) for far too long now, so he goes against his communist mother's wishes and sleeps in the attic anyways. In Matt's rebellious fit against reality and all that dare defy him, he finds solace in his new and incredibly dusty home, until his reality is turned upside down.
Don't Go to Sleep comes from the show's third season, originally airing on the 20th of September, 1997. The episode is one of the scarier ones that I have seen, mostly due to a few don'tgotosleep (8)creepy and skewed close-ups of adults taunting our good buddy Matt, who is put to test by the reality police after all his complaints about his own reality. Matt is put into difficult adult circumstances, like being a pro-hockey player during a game, a brain surgeon in the middle of a surgery and a bomb squad ace just as a bomb is about to blow.
There's even a situation where Matt is just about to get married, which seems okay ('cause it's guaranteed ass) until the bride is revealed to be an onion chomping boar of a women, which is funny, because in Calling All Creeps, one of the bullies eats onions too. Must be a Canadian thing I suppose. Either way, it is these harsh realities that are meant to show Matt that it isn't so easy being an adult, and that maybe his reality isn't so bad after all.
don'tgotosleep (9)
While Matt might be coming off as a bit selfish and bratty, I think he could use some leeway here, especially when it comes to sleeping in the attic. He is 12 and he may need a little privacy for any future discoveries he might have, and what better place than the attic? I mean, the bathroom works okay, but if someone were to spook him while in there, he may just quickly leave without washing his hands afterwards, leaving a resi-don't all over the house. Plus, there is a female tailoring mannequin up in the attic, which despite having no legs, arms, head, facial features or hair, will be more than enough inspiration for a 12-year-old boy. Trust me.
One thing I noticed almost immediately, is that Matt, who while sharing my name, also has a look that is very familiar too…
Strange coincidence? Sure, but how about I throw in this fact: I made my room in the basement starting around the same age as Matt…how's that for spooky? Though, I didn't have a mannequin, but I did have cable (thank you USA network, thank you).

Friday, October 29, 2010

My 13 Favorite Remakes!


Whoa, that sounds like some heavy stuff right there and it is. See, if you remember last year during this time, our good friend and master of the universe, T.L. Bugg of The Lightning Bug's Lair, had put together his second annual Halloween Top 13, with the subject being that of his favorite sequels. And now, one year later, the Bugg is back and this time around his Halloween Top 13 focus is on the ever controversial horror remake!

As with last year, Bugg made a call to arms and asked that people participate with their own list of remakes that they love, and I of course once again grabbed my battle axe, mounted my stead and met that call to arms full on with a list of my own. It's an epic read to say the least, and I really put some serious work into it as if I were writing it for CNAMB. So, I ask of you to take a few minutes, or more, and check out my list, T.L. Bugg's fantastic daily picks, and all of the other people that made contributions to this event of incredible proportions. Bugg has poured a ton of work into all of this, so for that he deserves a huge thanks and a pat on the butt, err, I mean back, so get over there and start patting.

Click-click-click to see my picks!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

British Lesbian Vampires Showing Their Boobs Over At BThroughZ?!


Now that's the kind of eye-catching title that'll draw in the crowds! Can't wait to see the Google keyword searches that bring people to this post. So yeah, I am here to share with you my latest review over at the newest issue of BThroughZ, the Halloween issue of BThroughZ, if you will. As you might be able to guess by the incredibly subdued title of the post, I wrote a review for a film that has British females that play vampiric lesbians and get naked like it's their job. Actually, it was their job, thus the movie Vampyres (often subtitled Daughters of Darkness, or, Daughters of Dracula)was born. If you would like to read my thoughts on this little slice of heaven, then I encourage you to take a a trip to BThroughZ and make it a part of your day. And hey, while you're there, why not check out all the other goodies that the newest issue has in store for you. M'kay? Now that's the spirit!

Click on the sexy ladies for the review!


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Great Story, Emily

I've had a really tough time figuring out what to dress up as for Halloween, so I took to the internet as my guide and found this news report focusing on the hottest costumes for 2010!! Boy, I sure hope it helps with some creative and original ideas that'll stand out amongst the masses!

First off, while I do dig the clown outfit, Emily Deem should really try and go as a mute. Not for Halloween so much as she should just be a mute, period.

So the first costume is brought out, and it's the Mad Hatter from that Tim Burton movie that came out. I just love how Foot Locker describes the costume as being comfortable because Jesus can wear his own pants with it. I was more or less thinking the costume sucked, because Jesus had to wear his own pants because the costume didn't come with them. While we're on it, is the hair awesome, Emily? Is it really? I'll pass on this one.

Finally, when the one costume I was waiting for the entire time makes an appearance (the Alice costume, naturally), I learn that the shoes are extra?! I totally can't afford all of that, and all the other girls at school are definitely going to laugh at me if I don't wear the right shoes. They really do make the ensemble pop.

The last costume is barely even worth mentioning as we have already seen the idiot store owner wearing it for the last two minutes. Oh, but now it's on a little girl, so it must be cute, right? Wrong. If they wanted to do a family theme, they should go as father and disappointed in her father daughter. That would be more fitting.

You know what, forget it, this stupid news report didn't help me find shit. And seriously, Emily, do you think getting a news camera wet is a good idea? Love how her lame flower joke fails when she misses the camera the first time, and she then has to reign it back in with her wit and charm. But the best part of this whole thing is the condescending female studio anchor saying "That was fun" with the excitement of someone that just found out they will be raped by an alligator everyday for the rest of their life starting in one hour.

Unless my luck should change, it looks like I might be wearing my go to costume for the 27th year in a row…


Monday, October 25, 2010

6 More Days Till Halloween-Halloween-Halloween!

And no, that jingle will never get old.

halloween63With only six more days till we can all transform into demons and monsters for the entire day - just to ward off all the evil spirits that would mean us nothing but harm by stealing our candy - there is a mixture of emotions that goes on when halloween61the countdown gets this close to the end. One of those being the excitement brought forth by Halloween being almost here, which is what it's all about, right? Well, there is also the whole 'it's almost over' aspect that drapes itself  over me, reminding me of just how sad it is to see Halloween go away as  quickly as it does every year.  What it comes down to is less the day, and more the build up, the anticipation that is many a horror fan's favorite holiday.

halloween64Halloween is more about the weather that surrounds us, the crackling of the  leaves beneath our feet as we walk through a haunted trail filled with teens wearing masks and taking smoke breaks in-between easily frightened groups. It's the first and second, and third and fourth halloween62and…well, you get the picture, taste of seasonal microbrew made specifically for the month that is October and the holiday that haunts it. It's the decorations, the fear that your pumpkins will get stolen and smashed like they are without feelings. It's the stores and their halloween6transformation from normal, to abnormal, when they cover an entire section with a multitude of Halloween goodies that can be stared at with starry eyes for hours on end. It's the DVD sales, the movies on TV, the Scream awards (even if they're kind of lame), the haunted house and ghost television shows on a constant loop, it's watching Roseanne's Halloween specials.

It's everything.

And it's always sad to have that slip away so quickly, but it's a celebration that supersedes the day itself, and as sad as it will be to see it all go away…I am sure as hell happy to have all the build up beforehand.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Horror Hangover


Not too much of a surprise that with Halloween only one week away (where does the time go? Seriously?!), we are graced with a hangover worthy of the Great Pumpkin, Robert Z'Dar. I know, most people don't know that Z'Dar is the Great Pumpkin, but I mean, who else could it be? Anyways, as I was saying, this is a potent hangover for sure, zdarso if you're feeling a lot like you were raped by the Great Pumpkin with how much you drank last night, then we are here to give you a little something to take your mind off things. 

Why not go ahead and get SyFy out of the way, shall we? They start the day for us with a double does of men with runny noses with a 9:00 showing of Boogeyman, followed by Boogeyman 2 at 11:00. If those two films are snot good enough for you, then SyFy follows them both up with the film adaptation of Clive Barker's The Midnight Meat Train at 1:00. Surprisingly, that film does not star Peter North.

Okay, three down and a whole lot more to go! Yeah!! Can you feel the pump yet?!?! Well, you will once we head on over to AMC, which is surprisingly not showing Halloween 4 and 5 on a continuous loop. Yet. They start us off with a handful of family pets gone wrong Stephen King stories, starting with Pet Sematary at 9:45, followed by that big ol' lug, Cujo, at 11:45.

Not to be stopped, AMC keeps us going with a 1:45 showing of 1999's House on Haunted Hill, followed by that film's sequel, Return to House on Haunted Hill, at 3:45. And because we're on a role and I don't feel like stopping while the horror train is at full speed, AMC keeps the rest of our hungover Sunday a horror filled one with Constantine at 5:30, followed by zombies on meth in 28 Days Later at 8:00, and ending AMC's day is Jeepers Creepers 2, which is showing at 10:45 PM.

That about does it for movies, but I do have a few more tricks down my pants still, so don't go running off just yet. The first one comes to us from Biography and their new documentary, A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Inside Story Pt. 1, which is showing at 4:00, followed by the second part at 6:00. That's four hours, with commercials, of Freddy docu-action, so I find that to be exciting, that's for sure. Now, the description states that it has all new interviews and all that jazz, but it is odd that there is yet another beefy Nightmare doc in such a short amount of time. So anyone with some info, please, share with the rest of the class.

And last, but certainly not least, The Travel Channel is showing Ghost Adventures from 9:00AM to 11:00PM!! WHAT?!?! There's no reason that you should not at least make some time in your day to spend a few moments with Zac Bagans, his bod and the other guys that no one care about. 

That does it for me, kiddies…enjoy your hangover as best you can.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: All Treat Edition!


Man, am I feeling really down tonight…all the kids at school are nothing but yuppie jerk offs, and because of that dumb jock, Tim Hainy, I got chocolate milk all over my best maroon and white baseball tee. To make things worse, thanks to those idiot football losers, half the girls in the school almost saw my skin-flute and my full - and incredibly white - naked ass today. But the cherry on top of this shit sundae has got to be the greatest rock sta…no, scratch that, the greatest musician of all time, as well as my idol and object of affection, Sammi Curr, died in a fire today. Man, this sucks sooo bad! Sammi was the only person that understood me. He was the only one that could make all of this better.

There is one good thing that came out of today's many un-radical events, and thanks to my buddy, DJ Nuke, I now have in my possession the only existing copy of Sammi Curr's last recording. If anything can lift me out of this funk, it's the sounds of Sammi's voice. He understands where I'm coming from, he knows who I really am deep inside, and together, we can take down all of those stupid jocks. It's just you and me, Sammi, in my bedroom, all alone, and together we will rock this party all night long!!  It's like you always said, Sammi…rock's chosen warriors will rule the apocalypse, so let's rock.

Trick or Treat is the title track for the 1986 horror-METAL!! METAL!!!! classic (well, maybe not classic…), Trick or Treat. The entire soundtrack was performed by British heavy metal band, Fastway, who would later release the Trick or Treat OST as their fourth studio album. The music is decent for what it is, I mean, it's certainly dated, but it does capture a time in my life that I will always look back on fondly.

Trick or Treat is a shit fart of a film, but it's super fun and the level of entertainment that is reached with how bad it can be at times is what makes the movie a rewarding watch. However, I do enjoy Trick or Treat a little more than I should for how it does really bring me back to a time of being a rebellious youth who was constantly listening to Heavy METAL!! in my badass basement bedroom covered in Megadeth and Anthrax posters. This was a time when I would sit through 3 hours of The Ball waiting for a decent video. A time when I would pretend my GI Joe Cobra Raven was a guitar, a guitar I rocked like a motha fucka!!! I seriously did. Nevertheless, my love for METAL!!  never resulted in me staring longingly at any male lead singer of any band. Well, maybe Lemmy, but he's like just so dreamy, how could I not?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Goosebumps at 33: Calling All Creeps


Calling All Creeps!

Taken from the 50th book in the series, Calling All Creeps aired on February 15th, 1997 in the show’s second season. This terrifying time around, the episode's focus is on Ricky Beamer, a stereotypically dorky kid that sees a chance to get revenge on his arch nemesis, Tasha (don't call me John) McClain. You see, Tasha had Ricky kicked off the school newspaper, claiming he's a creep, a nickname that would begin to stick with the rest of Ricky's classmates. This is more than enough to push creep…err, I mean Ricky over the edge and into a world where his mind is plagued by chaotic vengeance.
callingallcreeps3 There are plenty of great ways to ruin someone's life after they have done you wrong. Putting a flaming bag of poop on their front porch, cutting their brake line, drowning their dog, killing their family, but Ricky, oh that Ricky, he goes one-step further. He sneaks into the school after hours and adds a special message to the upcoming edition of the school's paper, a message 'calling all creeps' to give Miss Tasha McLain a phone call after midnight. However, this disturbing act backfires, and the phone number in the message is switched to Ricky's, leaving him with numerous late night phone calls from random creeps.
It's really tough to follow-up the masterwork known as The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, and while Calling All Creeps is kind of terrible in comparison, it is entertaining in the silliest of ways. The best way to describe this episode is this one is more along the lines of a cheap B-Movie. If you can appreciate a bad film, one that is so corny and filled with hysterical dialogue, amazingly whacky looking creatures and a goofy pod-people inspired premise using cookies, then Calling All Creeps is worth the twenty minutes of time it wastes. 
callingallcreeps (5)callingallcreeps (4) Where this episode shines the strongest in the "I cannot believe I'm watching this, but I'm so glad I am" department, are some of the characters and the dialogue that comes along with them. While pretty much everyone in the school picks on Ricky, there are three main bullies - apart from Tasha McLain - that give that poor creep the hardest of times. It just so turns out that these three bullies (one of them played by Matthew Lemche, brother of Kris, who stared in The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight!) actually moonlight as real creeps, but their day job is clearly one that consists of delivering incredible dialogue and fierce punishment to turds like Ricky, and all of it in under thirty minutes. Battle cries are sung, such as "Creeps rule! Creeps WILL rule!!" and "Humans are the past, creeps are the future!" Preach on, brother, preach on!
Still, the best part with the bullies comes early on when one of them instructs the onion chomping other one to - "breath on him, Wart!" which almost knocks poor Ricky unconscious. I mean, the guy's name is Wart, so that has got to be some serious  stank coming from his onion hole. To top things off, they really push the boundaries of decency and force Ricky to sing a song. Oh, but not just any song, mind you, this is a tune that is so terrible, that it can do no less than ruin lives. That song is, Mary Had A Little Lamb. Are you starting to see where this show is going yet?
Tasha McLain isn't much better, but it isn't her dialogue that is impressive so much as it's the pure fact that she has the balls to make fun of anyone when she's looking like she just ate a handful of rickets and screws. She truly brings the pain with her looks, that's for sure. With all that said, there is an important lesson to be learned with this episode, but I unfortunately missed it, so I won't be playing the sage for anyone tonight. The only higher thought I have now is…
"What's in store for me in the next episode of Goosebumps?"
"How do I end this review now without anyone noticing?"
*Looks away and pretends to see another review over yonder…walks off awkwardly but with style*  

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Intruder (1989): Instant Circumcision


1989's Intruder is a somewhat under-known Slasher film that indirectly had a major impact on horror cinema (and the genre in general) at the time it was released. To ensure an R rating, Intruder was unleashed on home video with a whopping five minutes of footage cut from the film, something of which was done without director Scott Spiegel's knowledge. All of the footage removed from the film consisted of incredibly graphic gore effects done by KNB, essentially leaving Intruder a shell of a film; a Slasher with no slash, if you will. This was an era when Horror VS the MPAA was a major battle, and censorship of the genre in general was at its worst.

Intruder would make another censorship splash with its gory set pieces, but this time in a much different way and certainly in a fashion that would be much bigger than the film ever was. [The real] Goerzone magazine came out with their March issue (issue number 6, to be exact), and what would follow would greatly hinder the presence that both Gorezone and parent magazine, Fangoria, would have on store shelves. Issue 6 featured a publicity shot from Intruder; a shot that came from the film's best and goriest death scene: a man's face cut in half with a meat cutter. To say it is one of the raddest cover's of a genre magazine ever is an understatement, but parents and ultraconservative do-gooders certainly didn't feel the same way when they saw this face looking them in the face at convenience stores:


Numerous complaints quickly resulted in Gorezone being banned from the shelves of all Circle K stores, and with the chain being the second biggest convenience store in the country at the time, this meant a circulation drop of several thousand copies for the magazine. Gorezone editor Tony Timpone was told by the publisher that the future covers needed to be less violent, and if they were to be violent, they should involve monsters and creatures, not humans. It's like the old adage that when a horror film's blood is green or black you can get away with murder, as opposed to if it were actually red. We all know that red blood equals real, and it's the realism that frightens and harms our children, turning them into the future serial killers of America. Thankfully censorship and fear mongering keeps all of this from coming to fruition.

At the time this was all happening, I was the spry age of twelve and read about all the controversy through the pages of Goerzone and Fango. I was young, and I yearned for the gruesome stuff, as at that ripe age during that period in horror, it was all about the gore. I had to see Intruder, and I cannot recall exactly how long it was before I finally did see it (though it wasn't too long afterwards), but even if the film was hacked to bits, I still thought it would be worth the time and there would have to be some trace of gore in the film. Well, as it turned out, there was hardly a gut to be seen, and when I did watch the movie, I was gravely disappointed in it.

At the time I didn't notice the cheesiness of most films, so that wasn't a factor, but I did find it to be somewhat boring, and the lack of great kills are exactly what would hurt this film for me. All that lead up only to have nothing more than a bad edit happen isn't any way to see any film. Sometime after seeing the edited version, I somehow came across the directors cut, but to be totally honest, I have no idea how that happened as coming across shit at a pretty young age in the tape trading days wasn't all too easy. Regardless, I watched the full Monty version of Intruder, and I certainly enjoyed it so much more than when I saw it sans the awesome death scenes. The film suddenly lived up to what was promised and more, and it was those five minutes of graphic slashing and slaying that made the film one that is worth a spot on any Slasher fan's list of must sees.

I will always have a strong sense of nostalgia for Intruder with what it represented for horror at the time. It certainly had a slight influence on the rebel that I would grow to become as the years went on. The censorship of Intruder and that specific issue of Gorezone are greatly reflective of that time period, and while it seems like these aren't issues that we need to worry about as much nowadays, something like what happened with Hatchet 2 comes along and reminds us that we will never get what we want when it comes to entertainment. There will always be someone there trying to tell us what we should and shouldn't watch, and it's our job to tell them to go fuck themselves and do it anyways.

Power to the people.


Adam Green and co. have just unleashed the 12th annual ArieScope Halloween short film, Honor Bowl, staring Mr. Freeze himself, Adam Green, Wrong Turn 2 director, Joe Lynch and a special surprise guest for all you ghoulies out there to enjoy.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

The Horror Hangover


Halloween is rapidly approaching us, and I sure as heck know that this slow build-up has me in the spirit for some spirits, if you get my draft. The weather is simply perfect for a nice beverage or two, in fact, it's almost too nice, which can result in too many, which can equal a downfall where you loose all sense of direction and find yourself in some nasty person's bed the next morning. Seriously though, there are worse things, like that nasty person being in YOUR bed, in which case the hangover is simply intensified by at least four. Maybe even five depending on if any of your parts have a strange tingle afterwards.

Well, if you have fallen into the trap of overindulgence, then you came to the right place to recuperate, The Horror Hangover. With it being Chucktober and all, I thought I would try and add some flavor to your bitter bear face by bringing in a few Halloween/Horror non-film treats for you. Unfortunately, this only resulted in one find, Ghostly Encounters, which is on Biography at 11:30. It's called Ghostly Encounters, so I will assume that it has something to do with ghosts, maybe? The info for the show said the episode deals with generational spirits, meaning, it will about folks with ghostly visits from their ancestors. I'm sure it will be captivating.  

Okay, now we can all pack up and head over to SyFy for an 11:00 showing of, Death Tunnel. Now, chances are if you're a guy (or possibly a girl) that spends a lot of time at dive bars, then there is a good chance that you have run into a few Death Tunnels yourself, resulting in a call to the doctors office about your malfunctioning train. However, that is not the Death Tunnel we're talking about today, instead, Death Tunnel is the movie that has this for a poster…


It's all you.

Don't go too far, as our next film, Intermedio, is on SyFy at 1:00. I was thinking this one sounded familiar, then I saw that Cerina Vincent is in it and I then remembered that it was just featured on a recent Hangover. So yeah, it probably won't be very good, sure, but as I said, it does have some Cerina Vincent, which is a lot better than what can often be found in a SyFy film. 

Now, even if you're not into sex-pots like Vincent - or you prefer your meat to have an outie instead of an innie - then SyFy is showing Ghost Voyage at 3:00. And no, despite the title, Ghost Voyage isn't a sequel to Ghost Ship but it does star Antonio Sabato Jr., who is best known for his roles in…uhhh…errr…ehhh….oh, he was in an episode of Charmed! I knew I recognized him from somewhere.


Well, with the way this Hangover has gone so far, sleeping in may not be a bad idea, but at least TCM is nice enough to show us what it's made of with a 12:30 showing of Earth vs. the Flying Saucers. The title tells you everything, though, I wonder if Harryhausen was inspired by Antonio's fat nipples for his flying saucer designs?


That's all for now, kiddies…hope to bring you some better quality cinema with next week's films, but for now, hang and hang hard.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party!: Where'd She Just Put That Lipstick? Edition!


"Angela is having a party, Jason and Freddy are too scared to come. But You'll have a hell of a time." Oh, really? Freddy is too scared to come, huh? Well, Angela, you may be throwing the party, missy, but this party is being held in the city's sickest club, Freddy's Friday Night Dance Party! With a reputation for some of the bloodiest hot body contests, the deadliest DJs and cocktails that'll straight kill your sobriety, I think it might be Angela that should be scared here, not Freddy. Regardless, Angela is in the (Hull) house and she has her boom box ready to boom-boom the room into a frenzy, and we are more than happy to have her, because the Night belongs to Demons! Kick it Ang! 

First off, I love how this clip starts with super Italian Sal and the line: "Hey Ang, what the fuck are you doing over there?!" It's so great! Go ahead, watch it again…see! Anyway, tonight's rocking clip comes to us from Kevin Tenney's Night of the Demons, with the song, Stigmata Martyr, by Bauhaus. Even though I grew up a huge fan of Punk music, I never got into Bauhaus, but for no other reason than their music never made its way to me, I suppose. Still, the music of theirs that I have heard has been in horror movies, and the music is so perfectly fitted to the films with the specific sound they have. In fact, I would even say the music might even drive scenes like this one - or the opening to The Hunger - and make them more than what they would have been with another artist. 

This entire Angela possession/dance scene really stands out as a whole due to the way the strobe light is used, Angela's crazy dancing and the music. Of course, the second Stooge shows up, Night of the Demons gets right back to business as a wicked cheese-fest. I constantly watched the movie growing up, and boy did I loved it so. For a young horror dude, it had all that I wanted in a horror film. Bewbs, an awesome haunted house setting, sexy girls, it's set on Halloween, it had cool FX, Linnea Quigley and her wonderful film introduction, and of course, bewbs. To watch it through adult eyes, I see how really corny it is as well as how long it takes for the goods to get going, but I still will always have a soft (or hard) spot for Night of the Demons.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Goosebumps at 33: The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight


The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight!

Our first Goosebumps at 33 review comes in the form of The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, which aired on November 9th, 1996 during the show's second season. The story focuses of Mark and Jodie, a brother and sister who are spending the summer at their grandparents farm. Something that every kid must dream about…spending time with old people on a farm with no wifi or cable. At least the grandparents are nice and sweet, not bitter, senile and wearing a diaper filled with feces. You know, like our grandparents are.
Almost immediately, there is a clue that something is off when the not-all-there farm hand, Stanley, warns the kids about their plans to catch frogs later on in the day. In fact, Stanley's warning is a fierce one as he tells the kids: "I like frogs. You shouldn't catch them…cause if you do, the scarecrow just might end up catching you!" Oh yeah, Stanley? Great story, guy.
goosebumpsscarecrowwalksmidnight (4)It isn't just the warning that Stanley so rudely spewed out that rubs the young visitors as strange, but grandma and grandpa are a little off too, and I don't think it's because they aren't  getting enough fiber. For breakfast, instead of grandma's famous pancakes (famous where? On the farm?), she serves up a bowl of boring old corn flakes. Barfola. To make things worse, later on in the evening the kids get to have some of grandma's yummy apple pie! YAY! Unfortunately for these selfish brats, grandma has decided to go with cherry pie this time around. I actually don't blame them for being disappointed. Cherry pie sucks.
goosebumpsscarecrowwalksmidnight (5)goosebumpsscarecrowwalksmidnight (2) You know what's funny about this whole cherry pie and corn flake situation, though? Well, it just so happens that Stanley (you know, the one that likes frogs) loves cherry pie AND corn flakes. He also likes making threats about scarecrows, so with there being an inordinate amount of scarecrows in the corn field and the episode being titled The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight, I think Jodie and Mark might be in for some serious trouble. And I'm not talking about having to change grandma's colostomy bag type of trouble either. That would be way worse.

In the end, The Scarecrow Walks At Midnight is an episode of Goosebumps, meaning, it's very much geared towards children of a very young age. Still, after watching this first episode, I do not take any issue with that as it delivers the starter horror in a serious enough way (for the age), showing a respect for the genre by keeping it simple, scary and most importantly, fun. The acting is all decent enough for the type of show it is and there was actually a familiar face to be found with a youthful Kris Lemche, who is probably best known (or, only known) as the Goth kid, Ian McKinley, in Final Destination 3.
I had a good time with this episode - which has a fantastic and totally satisfying ending, I might add - and it certainly gives me promise that I will not be spending this Chucktober with the lights off at nighttime.

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