'Zero' People Came to My 'Bloody Birthday' Party

What's up, man. I see you decided to stop by this fine and often magical place known as Chuck Norris Ate My Baby. That's very nice of you, and I fully support your browsing of this here scene, in fact, I encourage the shit out of it. However, I have to ask you a real big favor. No! I don't want you to hide drugs in your girl's bra, again! Geez…that was one time two months ago, and she only had to spend one night in jail. Don't worry, this is way easier than shoving an eight ball down an A-cup.

Okay, first I'm gonna need you to give me a quick ride to Dalton McBeal's house so I can grab that cash he owes me. Then we'll head over to Wal-Mart so I can pick up a 'Bloody Birthday' cake for my little brother's birthday party that's being thrown over at someplace called PARACINEMA. I think it's near the Y. Gas money? Man, you know I got no cash to spare! This is a recession! I have just enough for a pack of smokes and a ten bag. How about I smoke you up instead?   

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Thanks for the lift, bro. I appreciate it and all, but you think you could do me a solid and swing me by Darius' crib real quick so I can pick up that cash he owes me? Thanks, man. I always knew you were my boy. Hey, you think I can use your phone to give him a quick call first? I have 'ZERO' minutes left of my cell, and I gotta make sure he's home and not over at that STRANGE KIDS CLUB picking up STDs again. Thanks, man. Hey, you got an extra smoke by any chance?

Did Someone Say Halloween?!

There have been sightings recently, small but smile inducing rumblings that Halloween is indeed creeping slowly but ever so surely upon us. I'm trying to keep my excitement at bay for the time being (and it's not easy!), however, our good friends over at Strange kid Club are diving head first into the fray with their first annual Halloween costume contest! 

This is a fantastic idea to get folks into the mood a little early (because Halloween starts in August), and it's also a great way to win yourself a few awesome Halloween related prizes, too!

For the sake of not having to stumble through a summarization of how this whole contest works, I am going to simply pull a copy and paste job from the announcement page over at Strange Kids Club to save myself some thought. I can't waste too much time thinking or else I'll fall asleep. On your lawn. Naked. If you're lucky?   

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"The weather may still be hot outside, but Halloween will be upon us before you know it which can only mean one thing… HOMEMADE COSTUMES!

To celebrate Strange Kids Club is kicking off our very first Halloween Costume Contest, but we need YOU to make it happen. This is your chance to dress up like your favorite monster, ghoul, creep, or superhero for a chance to win some awesome prizes!

One Grand Prize Winner will even walk away with $125 in Halloween-related merchandise including a Nail Mouth Halloween Mask sculpted by Justin Mabry (based on original artwork by David Hartman), Limited Edition Strange Kid T-Shirt illustrated by Glen Brogan, FREE copy of our Halloween Comix Anthology and more!

HOW TO WIN

Entering the SKC Halloween Costume Contest is easy: simply put together the most face-meltingly fearsome (or amazing) costume you can and send us a photo. Oh, and remember to follow these guidelines:

1) You can choose to become anyone or anything including a famous monster, comic book character, video game icon, cartoon character, or something completely original (the more creative your submission the better).

2) You can use store-bought items to make your costume, but the final submission MUST BE homemade (absolutely no off-the-racks costumes). Again, be creative and try to use items in original and interesting ways like having actual salad leaves for your Salad Fingers costume.

3) Have a friend or family member take a photograph of you in costume and send the final submission via email at 150dpi resolution. Please be sure to include your full name, age, address, email, and the name of the character you’re dressed as if applicable. Submissions CANNOT be digitally enhanced or tampered with (that means no Photoshop) at all and should be recent– no digging through the family photo album!

Important: We MUST receive your submission by August 21, 2011.

Selected submissions will be chosen for display on the SKC website or in future printed materials, your entry constitutes acceptance of the terms and conditions below.*

SUBMIT YOUR ENTRY TO:

Email your photo and contest details as described above in to ghostlab.ds@gmail.com"

Dying to Get (it?) Outta Rain Town

I have a few quick links to share with you all on this dark and stormy evening, with the first being a review for the Zombie/Serial Killer film, Die-ner (Get it?), a movie that forced me to type (Get it?) way more than I ever had planned on doing when I started writing reviews. I'd like to NOT thank Die-ner (Get it?) for that.

You can find my review of Die-ner (Get it?) (AHHHHH!! I GET IT! NOW FUCK YOU!) over at the latest issue of BThroughZ.

Die-ner (Get it?)

After that, I'd like to steer you towards a little place known as Strange Kids Club, where you can watch and read my brief thoughts on Hiroyasu Ishida’s short Anime film, Rain Town. A film that couldn't be more fitting with the state of weather that has been plaguing my area for the past two months. I might have to start wearing a flannel and crying over Kurt Cobain if this shit doesn't clear up soon. 

Rain Town

That's it. I would stay and chat, but I have a free form knitting class at 7:00 AM and I cannot perform well without at least 8 hours of sleep. You know how it is. I promise I'll be back soon with something for CNAMB, you know, since I have been slacking BIG TIME as of late. International super-stardom takes up a ton of time.

Pamela's Triple Doll Dare

Regardless of the fact that I'm still suffering greatly from the injury I received after stepping on a nail while in a wicked dance battle against Jeff Pickleberry in the Boys & Girls Club gymnasium this passed Thursday evening, I have been able to find the strength to crank out a few pieces of awesome for you all to check out. It's field trip time, folks, so grab yer bags and get on the bus…no, the shorter one…that's right, and we can go on our merry way!

First stop is the one place where you actually fit in: the Strange Kids Club, where I, as in me, as in myself, as in this fucking guy, has posted a little slice of magic for you all to enjoy. I dug up quite the interesting commercial for an '80s toy that went by the name, Pamela the Living Doll. Now, what's interesting about a TV ad for a children's doll, you ask? Well, you'll have to head over there to watch the clip and read my thoughts to find out, now won't you! Damn straight you will. 

Click-Clack

After our super adventure at Club Strange, we have a special reservation at Paracinema all lined up for you. On the menu this evening is a review for the 2010 Canadian teen girl drama, Triple Dog. Me, reviewing a teen girl drama where the dialogue is almost as memorable as the radical skateboarding scenes? What more could you ask for?! Well, ice cream and a wad of hundreds, I suppose, but that's not the point. Jump on your board, put foot to ground and head over to Paracinema to check out my review, and we'll be besties for life!YAY!    

Click-Clack

Whew! With Pamela the Living Doll and a review of Triple Dog, you have yourself a full day of fun! Well, more like 15-minutes of fun. Actually, it might not even be all that fun in the first place, so just look at it as 15-minutes wasted. Sorry.

P.S. Looking at the content for what I have posted at these other fine sites, I must ask: am I a girl?

Devil's Dynamite From Hell!

Oh boy kiddies, I hope you have your permission slips all signed by your parents, because it's time for a filed trip! YAY! Okay, calm down now you little brats. Now, while most field trips are filled with learning, fun and adventure, this one is more than likely going to scar you for good, as we will be taking a trip to hell so we can play with dynamite! And when I say dynamite, I mean Devil's Dynamite, which just so happens to be the film I reviewed over at The Gentlemen's Blog to Midnite Cinema. Ninjas, jumping vampires, astronaut ninjas, short-shorts, crazy bad dubbing, and it's all brought to you courtesy of the great Godfrey Ho! This is so much better than the petting zoo, that's for sure!

Devil's Dynamite

Things aren't going to get much safer as we head on over to our next destination, a nice little movie theater where the crazed Mad Ron will be introducing us to a slew of his best horror, cult and exploitation Prevues! He doesn't do it alone, oh no siree, in fact, he has the help of ventriloquist Nick Pawlow and his undead buddy, Happy Goldsplatt, as they play host to the madness that ensues! If you've not heard of Mad Ron's Prevues From Hell, you should certainly stop by Strange Kids Club to check out my thoughts as well as the release itself (it's on Netflix instant). It's quite the bloody good time and a must for anyone that loves trailer compilations, exploitation, horror, grindhouse cinema and the 80s.

Mad Ron's Prevues From Hell

Well, that does it for today's field trip, but before I send you all back home to your parents, lets do a head count, starting with those that still have their heads!! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Exposing my Full Moon at Cheerleader Camp

Taking a leap back, I have here not one but TWO destinations for you all to check out on this fine evening. First up, over at the newest issue of BThroughZ, you can check out my review of the 80's Slasher flick, Cheerleader Camp. Staring Leif Garrett (yikes!) and Betsy Russell (yum!), how does this late in the era Slasher film play out? Well, you'll have to pack up your pompoms and head on over to BThroughZ to find out!

Click Da Link!

Hey, don't go too far now because I got more in store for you, and as soon as you get back from your cheerleading camping trip, why not take a walk on over to Strange Kids Club where you can check out my look back at Full Moon's VideoZone. When I think of VideoZone, I think of it quite fondly, and I know I am not alone in the nostalgic love for the original Special Feature. So, take a moment to drop by Strange Kids for a blast from the VHS era past!

Click Da Link!