Some monster are driven by a deep seated anger and rage that comes from having a tough and unfair childhood spent on the streets - some find a way to get that anger and hatred out in a socially acceptable way. Having an outlet, such as boxing to get the anger out is a good thing, but it doesn’t make the person less the Monster if they are driven by hurting others without remorse. Some aren’t able to take the negative experiences of a past difficult life and turn them into something positive for others with their success.
This is the case with this week’s Monster, so without any further ado, the Monster of the Week is…
James "Clubber" Lang!
Appearing in 1982’s Rocky III, James “Clubber” Lang is the opponent and antagonist to the great Rocky Balboa. Clubber Lang is an angry man, and as he works his way up the boxing ranks, his anger is fueled by watching Balboa win frivolous title matches against weak and lesser opponents. He see’s someone at the top that in his eyes doesn’t deserve it and it just makes him all the more upset. Lang is played by the great Mr. T and I think I need not explain who that man is (loved his cereal), but I will say that his performance in Rocky III is quite fantastic. We know that Mr. T was a real life tough guy, that’s what got him the role in Rocky III, but the real T is one of the kindest and most noble people to work in film and television, and that is evident from his positive messages to children over the years. His real life persona almost mirrors that of Lang in a sense, but he decided to make a positive impact, instead of a negative one with his success.
Mr. T is as far from Clubber Lang as it gets and that is what makes him so great in the movie…Lang is incredibly intimidating and he’s as scary as a broken condom. Rocky Balboa has faced many antagonists, but what separates Clubber Lang from the rest of the pack is he never shows any signs of kindness, nor is he apologetic for his negative actions. He is just a mean dude that only wants to knock the block off Rocky Balboa out of hatred and jealousy. Even Ivan Drago wasn’t that bad of a guy and in the end, he showed signs of couth, giving respect for Rocky as a fighter, which eventually led to the end of the cold war. Thank god.
The 80’s were littered with Hip-Hop influenced movies with films like Wild Style, Breakin’, Beat Street, and so on and so forth. For what it’s worth, I love this genre, which I will dub Hip-Hopsploitation since many of them were taking something new and popular, and capitalizing on it (which is still very common today). Some of these films are actually pretty solid, namely the ones I mention above, but there are the few that are a little less respectable, but still oh-so-fun. These movies are a window into the past, a window that’s view is filled with crazy bad outfits, hair styles, and people that probably shouldn’t be picking up a mic for any reason at all.
One of those people that probably shouldn’t have spit any lyrics, is the man known as Mario Van Peebles, in the 1985 film, Rappin’! But boy am I glad he did. Rappin’ is the tale of “Rappin’” John Hood (MVP), whom after getting out of jail, comes back home to find a lot has changed since he went away. Some of his old associates have formed a new rival gang, his girl is dating the gangs leader, and some corporate scum bags are trying to take over the neighborhood by getting rid of the tenants so they can build…I don’t know, something. Probably a mall, or nice houses…the usual.
I think you might have an idea where this film is going from this point, as Rappin’ is many clichés of the genre all “rapped” into one Hip-Hop extravaganza. I don’t even know where to begin with this film, but there is a lot to say for many different reasons. First of all, the movie is certainly not on par with some of the best the genre has to offer, but damn, is it a lot of fun. Some of the rappin’ is so bad and many of the people behind these verbal assaults are far from skilled at the art of rhyme. The biggest offender is certainly MVP, with his monotone voice and lack of natural flow, but it’s MVP’s lack of skill that makes the movie all the more entertaining.
The Many Faces of Hip-Hop
There are a few familiar faces that show up in Rappin’, besides MVP, of course. There’s Kadeem Hardison, and soul glow himself, Eric La Salle who make up a portion of John Hood’s crew. Also, Hood’s little brother is played by Leo O’Brien, who was in The Last Dragon, a film that gave us our most recent Monster of the Week. Along with familiar faces, the film’s director, Joel Silberg, is treading some very familiar territory with Rappin’. He also directed the before mentioned, Breakin’ as well as the sultry dance movie, Lambada (Totally should have been called, Lambada-in’). So he clearly has a certain thing he does and it would seem he is the guy to call when making a movie that is meant to exploit the latest fad in Urban culture. Though, he did direct Catch the Heat, so that makes his resume all the more versatile.
Some of the dialogue is beyond classic, with one scene where a record producer asks Hood if he’s ever rapped before, in which Hood respond’s with “No, but I got a record!” Get it?! When it comes to classic dialogue, no one is better than John Hoods arch rival, Duane (Charles Flohe). First off, he has great feathered hair and while he looks perfect to play the part of a rich, white, asshole bully, he is so unconvincing as a street thug. As for some of his choicest lines – “Don’t make me thaw you out, Ice!” When referring to La Salle’s character, who’s name is Ice. Then there’s the moment when Duane grabs Hood’s love interest by the arm kind of harshly, and Hood says “Hey, don’t be so rough on her” or something to that effect. Duane quickly responds with “Hey? Hay is for horses!” Good one, Duane, but I think you forgot about the better for cows part.
While this film is not the best of the best, it is very fun and a major reason for that is what I like to call, “random acts of Hip-Hop” that occur throughout Rappin’. The viewer is never safe from a random outbreak of rhymes and song from the characters – it can happen at anytime, any place, and anything can set it off. And you know what, even though many of the skills on display are lacking and the lyrics are weak, they certainly are very enjoyable scenes and for some reason, brought a shit eating grin to my face. I wish I could go over them all, but that would take forever, and I’m already at 763 words, so I need to tie things up soon.
I do have to mention Rappin’s end credit sequence, where each of the film’s characters, spit a lyric or two as their name goes by. This includes an old Asian dude, an old Jewish dude, a white, middle aged mother AND her daughter, and many, many more. It’s fucking gold. Then, there is the scene when the people of the neighborhood are trying to fight to stay in their homes and not be driven out. When all else fails, “Rappin’” John Hood and his Merry Men show up and use the influence of rap to convince the city council to their side, so they can stay in their hood! Again, fucking gold. And don’t even get me started on Snack Attack.
So, if you are a fan of this type of film, or Hip-Hop culture, or bad outfits and hair styles of the past, Rappin’ is a blast. It’s plot is messy and it tries to be too many things, but it does succeed at delivering some truly entertaining scenes and some funny moments. Plus, a 10 year old me makes an appearance.
Thanks for pointing this one out to me, Emily…you rock the party like no one else!
Born in Gary, Indiana on March 5th 1938, Fred “The Hammer” Williamson has had a career that is more than important to cinema, especially when it comes to cult and midnight movies. Williamson got his start as a successful pro-football player and is a three time defensive pro-bowler who played for the Kansas City Chiefs in Super Bowl I.
He got the nickname, “The Hammer” while during practice, one of his coaches asked him to stop hammering on the other players. Always the ego, Williamson took that term and made it a nickname, using it in a boisterous way when talking smack on and off the field, often saying he will "Put the hammer on" his opponents. He even developed a karate-chop styled offensive move fittingly called, "The Hammer" which he used on other players.
After retiring from the NFL, and with his fall back college degree, Williamson did some architectural work, but being a guy nicknamed “The Hammer,” he decided that it just wasn’t for him. He went into acting and did some television work with small roles in things like the original Star Trek series and played the romantic lead opposite Dianann Carroll on the TV show “Julia.” His first staring film role was in 1970’s M*A*S*H, which jump started his illustrious career in film.
At an intimidating 6’3 and with black belts in Tae-Kwon-Do, Shotokan Karate, Kenpo, and charisma, Williamson had (and still has) what it takes to be an amazing action film screen presence. With his film work now spanning forty years and counting, Fred Williamson has made a major impact on some of cinema’s most entertaining of genres. His work in Blaxploitation movies makes him probably the most recognizable male star of the genre outside of Richard Roundtree, and Jim Brown.
To add to his midnight cinema cred, Williamson appeared in numerous Italian film productions and between those, and his Blaxploitation movies, he has worked with many cult fan favorites. His work with the great Larry Cohen, resulted in one of my favorites of the genre, 1973’s Black Caesar (along with that films follow up, 1973’s Hell Up in Harlem). Some of the Italian directors of note are Antonio Margheriti with Take a Hard Ride, which also sported an impressive cast that consisted of Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, and Lee Van Cleef! Yowza! Williamson did a handful of Post Apocalyptic movies with Enzo G. Castellari, but the most prominent film the pair worked on is certainly 1978’s The Inglorious Bastards. The Hammer even worked with Lucio Fulci on the less than stellar, The New Gladiators (1984).
All of this is just the tip of the iceberg in a film career that runs deep, a career that he has taken and made all his own, his way. Williamson formed his own production company in 1974 called Po’ Boy Productions, and with what he learned from working with people like Cohen and making films in Italy, he has created nearly forty movies on very meager budgets over the years. Writer, director, producer, actor, stuntman, NFL player, and sex symbol, what can’t this man do?
What may have set “The Hammer” apart from the rest of the pack, is his ability to self promote and the way he carries himself in such an incredibly cocky and flamboyant fashion. These are the qualities that make him so awesome and he is not afraid to tell you about himself…he is completely upfront and even with such an ego, he carries himself with a genuine kindness. This is a man that has posed in playgirl, was a spokesman for King Cobra (a malt liquor that I used to drink in my high school days...shit got me cocked!), and was even nominated for an Emmy for the television series, Police Story. Hell, he even stole the show with his bit part as a flashback suffering ‘Nam vet in 1996’s From Dusk Till Dawn, which maybe where most horror fans were first introduced to him.
Being in the “biz” for as long as he has, Williamson has seen a lot and retained a great amount of memories. Besides being super entertaining, his interviews are always insightful, filled with stories from behind the scenes of the movies he worked on as well as the directors and other actors he worked with. With his trademark cigar, Williamson is one of a kind, and as cocky as he is, he wears it on his sleeve and is really just an honest guy that loves to talk about movies…and himself, of course. He is a true cinema badass and a legend in his spare time.
“'There's only two things that I demand of my scripts, and they're the same things my audiences demand. First, I have to get the girl. And second, I have to win all the fights. We don't need suspense. With those two ingredients, the picture is assured of being a hit.” - Fred “The Hammer” Williamson -
Am I the baddest mo-fo, low-down, around this town?
Sho’Nuff!
Well, who am I?
Sho’Nuff!
Who am I?!
Sho’Nuff!
And who is the Monster of the Week?
Sho’Nuff!!
The Shogun of Harlem!
In the end, Sho ‘Nuff might not be “the master,” per say, but he is the Shogun of Harlem and one of the meanest mofo’s put to screen. Played by the late Julius Carry, Sho ‘Nuff is the antagonist to "Bruce" Leroy Green (played by Taimak) in Berry Gordy's 1985 Blaxploitation/Martial Arts/Comedy/Musical hybrid, The Last Dragon. Meaner than diarrhea, Sho ‘Nuff made it a habit to prove he was the man by picking on the weak and whopping copious amounts of ass on a daily basis. Living the life of a Harlem Shogun isn’t easy, but Sho ‘Nuff did it will style and presence.
One of cinema’s most entertaining villains, with his wild style hair, football pad infused Shogun Samurai outfits, and a voice that would command the attention of James Earl Jones, Sho ‘Nuff is quite the intimidating presence. His Kung Fu skills might have been somewhat lacking, but with an ego as big as Sho ‘Nuff’s…there are very few people that can take him down. Unless they possess the glow, that is.
I used to love Full Moon films, even though their movie’s weren’t always great, they were fun and the company seemed to have a solid footing in horror back when I was young. One of the things I loved most was they had the special after movie Video Zone segment, where Charles Band would talk about upcoming films, behind the scenes, and general Full Moon news. It was just so cool and this was well before the DVD extras we are so blessed with nowadays. So I have very found memories of the film’s from that time and I have been wanting to try and check a few of them out again someday soon. As well as revisiting old Full Moon films, I have had an urge to look at some of the newer ones like Gingerdead Man and Skull Heads as I have heard they deliver the cheesy goods on an epic level.
This all came together when I decided to give 2002’s Cryptz a viewing. I actually had no clue that it was a Full Moon movie, and while I had no sort of expectations to begin with, when I saw the Full Moon label, I had a good idea what I was in for and I got a little ecstatic, to be honest with you. Seeing that Full Moon logo, I almost knew I would enjoy what I was to see, no matter how bad. I would be blinded by nostalgia. Well, I don’t really know if that was the case with Cryptz, because I think I may have been more blinded by bad taste than anything. Even though this movie is pretty damned terrible, I still found myself entertained by it in all its horrendous glory.
Cryptz follows Tymez Skwair (Choice Skinner), Fuzzy Down (Rick Irvin), and Likrish (Dennis Waller), three aspiring rappers with three of the greatest Hip-Hop names ever created. T-Skwair (short for Tymez Skwair for those of you less than hip) is under pleasure from ma dukes to get a job while he waits seemingly forever for his rap career to take off. T-Skwair heads out to find a job, but not before running into his boys, Fuzzy and Likrish. While walking down the street to go…somewhere, the trio run into a sexy vixen named Stesha (Lunden De'Leon).
I love New York?
With shorts that would make Ronnie jealous and a set of cans more delicious than Chef Boyardee, T-Skwair is no doubt smitten and tries to work a piece on this lovely lady. He asks what her Cryptz shirt is all about and she tells them that Cryptz is where she works and also where she was heading to. Hoping to meet up with Stesha at Cryptz, the guys ask where it is, but she says if they really wanna hang with her, they will have to find it for themselves…and it ain’t in the phone book.
Stesha then proceeds to pinch T-Skwair’s cheek, at which point, time slows and a painful sizzling sound occurs, letting the viewer know, that Stesha has done something sinister to T-Skwair. Not that the Cryptz shirt didn't already tell us that she was trouble.
The trio head back to Fuzzy D’s place and try to figure out where and the hell Cryptz might be, when they decide to call their boy Truck (played by Chyna, but not THAT Chyna).
Truck is into strange things like the occult and meditation, so the crew thinks he may know about this mysterious night club. However, when Tymez Skwair asks him about Cryptz, Truck warns him that the place is dangerous and to stay as far away from it as possible. When Truck learns that T-Skwair came into contact with Stesha (in the form of sizzling cheek pinch), he tells him to have Fuzzy and Likrish tie him down for the night and to call Truck at sundown.
Well, thinking that being tied down by your boys is mad gay, they instead spend their evening watching television, when from out of nowhere, T-Skwair starts freaking out! His cheek begins to burn to the point of pain, the same cheek that Stesha had pinched earlier. Not knowing what to do, they jump in a car and take off, with T-Skwair giving directions, directions that lead down a darkened alley to…CRYPTZ!
As soon as the guys get into the club, T-Skwair’s face stops hurting and they soon realize they are in the hottest strip club with the finest women around! Thinking this will be one hell of a great night, T-Skwair, Fuzzy, and Likrish are psyched, only they don’t know that the club is a front for a coven of Vampires! They’ll figure it out soon enough…
Cryptz has production values and set designs that are lower than my chain hangz, which of course makes it all the more fun. Even many of the cheaper and crappier Full Moon movies from year’s past, had really nice set design, usually because they were shot in Romania and were a little more Gothic in setting. Clearly, that kind of setting wouldn’t work in a film set in an urban area, but still, the Cryptz strip club is fucking hysterical in how cheap looking it is.
Even better than the strip club itself, is when the Vampires reveal themselves and the dungeon style backrooms are used for rituals and such. I really think that Cryptz must have been sponsored by Spencer’s gifts, as every prop looked like something you could buy at Halloween time. My favorite “prop” is this skull chalice used to drink blood from…as soon as I saw it, I knew it was the same chalice that you can buy at any local grocery store, CVS, or Walgreens. You know the one…
For the record, they used the one on the right (though I think the one on the left is much more menacing) and it was so awesome knowing that next Halloween, I will be able to purchase a piece of memorabilia from the film, Cryptz at the drug store.
One thing that Full Moon has always been very good at, is REALLY bad special FX and camera trickery as well as overall technical aspects. I think that Full Moon has really come into its own and mastered the art of terrible camera work and filmmaking techniques with Cryptz and its 1998 home video quality dissolves and Play Station 1 graphic prowess. Every time there is some sort of horror action, the movie goes into slow motion with a mixture of blur effects and multiple color changes…it begins to look like you’re watching Suspiria on fast-forward after being donkey punched by one of the Klitschko brothers. Much like the back of a Spencer’s in a way…hmm…connection?
So yeah, Cryptz is completely awful and 100% incompetent, but a complete blast for how terrible it is. I do have to give a litte credit to the cast that make up Fuzzy, Likrish, and Tymez Skwair though – they are not great, but had very good chemistry together as well as a few funny moments. Surprisingly, I was laughing with them a few tymez instead of at them. While this isn’t exactly what Full Moon delivered back in the day, it’s still nice to know that they can at least bring out the big guns as far as enjoyably bad filmz go.
1972 was really the year when Blaxploitation started to blow up with a slew of great films, so it’s really not much of a surprise that Black Gunn is a little less known as it isn’t quite on par with some of the other films that came out that year. Staring football and film legend, Jim Brown (who also stared in the better-known Blaxploitation film, Slaughter that same year), Black Gunn is a basic Blaxploitation movie in almost every way, but one that is certainly solid and makes for an enjoyable watch.
Brown plays a character simply known as, Mr. Gunn, or Gunn if you’re cool enough for him to allow you to leave out the Mr. part (and I am, for the record). Gunn is a successful black nightclub owner that has worked hard to get where he is, but did so on his own terms. Gunn’s younger brother Scott (Herb Jefferson Jr.), who is involved with a black militant group, finds himself in a heap of trouble when the group knocks off the mob for some cash. The cash isn’t really the problem for the mob, so much as Scott got away with some very important notebooks that contained names of various politicians that are in bed with the mob behind the scenes.
This brings a lot of attention to the well-know and respected Gunn as the mob is now on the lookout for Scott, hoping to get the ledgers back, as well as the police wanting to question Scott about the robbery. Gunn protects Scott, pretending as if he has no clue where his brother is, but that protection can only last so long before the wrong people catch, and then murder him. As you can probably guess, Gunn doesn’t take well to dead brothers and decides to exact his own brand of justice on those that killed Scott.
Simple premise, but as I said, Black Gunn is a very standard Blaxploitation movie filled with many of the clichés that genre has to offer. The mob is made up of all overly racist white dudes that go that extra mile to insult any black person with every ethnic slur known to man. It is often over done, but it also makes it more fun when these characters get it in the end, cause you know they will! There are many people involved with the crime/mob aspect of Black Gunn, with politicians at the top, down to the mob boss himself, who doubles as a used car salesman named Capelli, who is played by Slither mouth himself, Martin Landau.
Under Capelli, are his lower level thug’s, most notable would be loose cannon, Ray Kelley. Kelly is played by super creep, Bruce Glover and he actually puts forth one of the better performances as the intimidating and sleazy mob minion. The king of the proverbial castle in Black Gunn, is of course, Jim Brown who while not being the most charismatic actor ever, certainly has a copious amount of presence when on screen. I actually think Brown is a great actor more so in his later years, but he is still solid as the soft-spoken, yet tough as nails, Mr. Gunn.
Filming wise, Black Gunn looks like the typical low-budget Blaxploitation film with a style that changes erratically depending on what is happening on screen. Directed by Robert Hartford-Davis, most of the movie is very standard, but there are moments when things kick up and the action starts, and that where the film shines a little brighter. Some of the fight scenes are shot with a more panoramic fish eye lens, that while not necessarily amazing, looked fun and changed the pace of things. There are a few spots where some well done following shots are used, mostly in moments leading up to the action. As stand out as these aspects where, I wish there was a bit more of these techniques used in the film.
This is also the case with the music and setting in the film also. Music and setting are some of the most important things in film’s of this genre and Black Gunn could have expanded upon these things a little more. There are a few scenes where you get to see the awesome 70’s Los Angles setting, which isn’t nearly as great as 70’s New York, but has a great look all it’s own. And the music is very good, with some head bobbing funky beats that when utilized (mostly during driving scenes), really caught my attention and brought a cool smile to my face. However, the setting and even more so, the music are in the backseat and a little too secondary, which is unfortunate.
Black Gunn has a decent pace to it though, and there are a few slowish moments, but there are enough action scenes sprinkled in to keep the ball rolling. I loved the crazy shootouts that seem to just explode from out of nowhere (with even a few machine guns!), resulting in some fantastic tempura red blood, exploding from tacky tweed blazers. There’s even a hand grenade used right out in the middle of a city street, which gave me a “Holy Shit! A grenade!” boner. Gunn provides a few choice moments himself where body slams are performed, the use of a coffee table as a weapon, instead of a place for you feet is acceptable, and my favorite, when Gunn literally bowls a strike. With a guy. In a bowling alley. Fan-tastic.
There are a ton of cameos by actors of genre and non-genre note, almost too many to even mention, but I did recognize the beautiful Italian actress Luciana Paluzzi, who has a small role as a wealthy women with political connections, and a thirst for some of Gunn’s baby juice (that’s so gross, I know!). Another very notable supporting actor in Black Gunn, comes from yet another one time NFL football player and former principle of San Dimas high school, Bernie Casey, who plays one of the black militant leaders.
Dave Chappelle?
The film’s clear weakness is not going all the way, leaving empty spaces that kept it from being up there with the better films of the genre. While it isn’t the best of the bunch, Black Gunn is still an adequate Blaxploitation movie, with enough positive things in its favor to warrant a watch or two from the casual fan that has seen and enjoyed other films of the genre.
Recently, I've been hearing a whole lot about how the month of February, horror bloggers around the net would be dedicated to women and their role in the horror genre. That’s great, and I’m certainly all for it, and I was even thinking about doing a few posts specific to the subject matter throughout the month myself. Then today, I dropped by the wonderful wonder blog, Billy Loves Stu and was reminded that February is Black History Month. The fact that I had to be reminded is a bit embarrassing, but more embarrassing should be the fact that bloggers have taken it upon themselves to pick Black History Month as the month to focus on women in horror. There are 11, count them, ELEVEN other months that are there for the taking, so why February? I’m not taking shots at the people behind women in horror month - any other month, I would be all for it, but it’s a pretty stupid fucking thing to have it in February. I had no plans for a theme month, but I am gonna keep it real and make my main focus of February centered around African American cinema. I’m not prepared in any way whatsoever, but I can pull something out of my ass, plus it gives me an excuse to cover a few Blaxsploitation films!
Anyone have any suggestions or requests, please feel free to suggest and request them.
